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turtle18
Guest
Do you just assume when you hear people talk about going to Mass and these people have had more than two or three marriages that they have gotten all their marriages annulled?
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puzzleannie
Guest
as a general rule, the Christian always puts the most charitable construction possible upon anything words or actions he observes in another person.
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He_Man
Guest
In terms of Christian spirit, I think the best case scenario.
In terms of probability and statsitics, I think worst case scenario.
As a general rule, I just try and not think about them at all.
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TheDoctor
Guest
To be honest, I don’t think annulled first. I have too many friends who are “young” widows so I just don’t think and accept, assuming the best. (BTW, my wife will confirm the “I just don’t think” part).
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anna1978
Guest
My best friend lost her first husband when she was 27, her youngest was just 4-weeks old at the time…My mom became a widow aged 38…Not EVERYBODY has divorces…So, don’t assume.
Anna x
Anna x
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kettle
Guest
Honestly, I’m too busy trying to keep myself, my husband, and my children focused - I don’t have time to concern myself with speculating about someone else’s marital status and/or eligibility to receive communion. 
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rick43235
Guest
I simply assume that it’s none of my business.
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susie_g
Guest
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turtle18
Guest
Oh no, these are not widowers. They definitely have ex-spouses because I hear them talk about them all the time (in the present tense.) Yes, I agree you should always assume the best but it’s one of the cases were Christian charity of the heart doesn’t match the reasoning of the mind.
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whatevergirl
Guest
hi turtle;
suppose they have been married multiple times, and have not sought annulments? why do you ask? (may I ask)
suppose they have been married multiple times, and have not sought annulments? why do you ask? (may I ask)
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Huiou_Theou
Guest
In other words, there is bitterness being displayed in public toward these ex-spouses?
I have seen in my geographic parish a couple who had gone to church for many years both of whom are in there second marrriage, and who as a couple converted to Catholocism from protestantism. They were not informed of the necessity to abstain from eucharist by the previous priest until annulment was validated on their past marriages (among other things). When a priest with at least basic Catholic teaching was sent to replace the old one (who was promoted… strangely enough… and then through public scandal at the bigger parish – became demoted again…) the couple learned of the requirements and reasoning of the church.
They embraced it, and became an example for the rest of the parish – and there were several other couples in their same situation. So, even granting your supposition that there is a violation going on of some kind – I wouldn’t automatically judge the couples themselves as being aware of the gravity of their situation (should it be true.) and in Christian Chairty, I don’t think it absolutely necessary to put the “best possible” spin on everything one sees – although not assuming the worst is certainly a requirement just to maintain sanity in these times.
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Sina
Guest
I have seen posters on CAF that have have several annulments (3 or so) and I was amazed. There has to be deeper issues in how the person choses a spouse. It IS possible for multiple annulments as each case is totally individual… isn’t it?
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chevalier
Guest
Strictly speaking, Catholics have ex-putatives, not ex-spouses. 
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Huiou_Theou
Guest
I humbly bow to your superior wisdom in formation of words.Strictly speaking, Catholics have ex-putatives, not ex-spouses.
You are correct. And I suspect many people who speak of their ex-es would love that word “putative”.
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Huiou_Theou
Guest
Yes, and I know of one annulment which was given with a condition – that “she never attempt to marry again.” Which was ignored, and an out of wedlock baby occurred through other means… although her putative (oh no, it was annulled) – uhhh – her Ex – re-married to the woman he committed adultery with and who it turned out was a lapsed catholic once she discovered her rival had an annulment.
So, what are the odds that the very declaration of nullity for the first marriage (she eloped, among other problems) helps this second “catholic” have a real marriage with the man whom she stole through adultery – and the man who was punished sexually by the first wife which led to the adultery – will be valid either?
I think they are close to zero. Lack of form in both cases…
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Lexee15
Guest
I’m so glad to hear there’s acutally a word I can use when referring to the ex…am I correct? Should I be calling him my ex-putative when I refer to him?Strictly speaking, Catholics have ex-putatives, not ex-spouses.
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chevalier
Guest
I’m sorry and I apologise if I came off as a know-it-all. I worry because I see exes everywhere, questions like is the marriage over, when is it all right to call it quits, when is divorce okay and so on, while some opinions seem to indicate there’s a problem only if one tries to remarry. That’s what makes me, from time to time, rebel and say there’s no such thing as a Catholic marriage ending (death or dissolution of unconsummated marriage excepted, just before someone throws it at me). My post was a cheeky joke, however.I humbly bow to your superior wisdom in formation of words.
You are correct. And I suspect many people who speak of their ex-es would love that word “putative”.
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