Married Priest and Sexuality

[NguyenKimPhat]

Dear CAF,

      Do you know how there are some Catholic rites (like the Maronite right) which actually do allow their priest to be married?  I was wondering if I could have your thoughts about this.  I think it's okay for priests to be married if the Church says so *.  

       I made this thread because I had a conversation with my best friend, who was TOTALLY against married priest.  My best friend said, "How could the very same man who holds up the Eucharistic Host during the mass and who is dressed in all the holy clothes of a dignified priest, . . . how could that very same man engage in sex during the night with his wife and in the morning, dare to celebrate mass?"  

      Dear CAF, do you think it would be weird/awkward to know that your own parish priest engaged in the conjugal act of marriage every night?  If the Catholic Church does one day allow its priests to marry and you were the wife of a Catholic priest, would you look at that man with less respect when you see him celebrating mass on the altar, since you already knew him super intimately? 

      I would like to know your thoughts regarding this.*

 

[Yellow_Belle]

My best friend said, “How could the very same man who holds up the Eucharistic Host during the mass and who is dressed in all the holy clothes of a dignified priest, . . . how could that very same man engage in sex during the night with his wife and in the morning, dare to celebrate mass?”

I’d say your friend needs to re-think his/her attitude to the conjugal act…

 

[NguyenKimPhat]

I’d say your friend needs to re-think his/her attitude to the conjugal act…

My best friend believes that a priest must maintain a sense of dignity and honor, and that allowing priest to marry would lower the priest down the level of the people.

 

[kristie_m]

I’d say your friend needs to re-think his/her attitude to the conjugal act…

I second this. Sex is not a sin, when it is between a husband and wife…it is a part of God’s plan for married couples.

I personally am in favor of priestly celibacy, but not because of any perceived scandal. It’s just that I’ve worked closely with a married Anglican priest, as well as celibate Catholic priests. The Catholic priests are better able to commit themselves fully to ministry because they do not have to split their priorities between their parish and family. I look at the work my own parish priests do and there is NO WAY they could do it, and expect to stay married.

 

[NguyenKimPhat]

But do you guys think that there is some way that the conjugal act of marriage somehow lessens the dignity of a priest? his dignity?

 

[Yellow_Belle]

My best friend believes that a priest must maintain a sense of dignity and honor, and that allowing priest to marry would lower the priest down the level of the people.

Then your friend needs to rethink his/her attitude to the priesthood as well.

Celibacy is a discipline of Western Catholicism, not a dogma. There is nothing essentially undignified or dishonourable about a priest being married. In fact some 20% of all Catholic priests worldwide are married and that is not just those in the Eastern Catholic Churches. Is your friend suggesting that they are undignified and dishonourable?

 

[kristie_m]

But do you guys think that there is some way that the conjugal act of marriage somehow lessens the dignity of a priest? his dignity?

not even a little. If that were the case, it would hold true to every man, not merely a priest.

 

[jamanne]

I Attend Corpus Christie parish in Hamilton ,Ontario Canada and our parish priest is married.He converted from United Church .He does a wonderful job and everyone loves ,him his wife accompanies him to the parish functions and dinners.He has three adult children.You can look up his homily and history on the parish website.I believe there are about six situations like this across Canada

 

[Julianna]

My best friend believes that a priest must maintain a sense of dignity and honor, and that allowing priest to marry would lower the priest down the level of the people.

Priests “are” people.

Makes no difference to me if a priest marries or doesn’t marry.

 

[rwoehmke]

Sounds to me that your friend subscribes to the Jansenist view of Sexual relations between husband and wife.

 

[Rach620]

Dear CAF, do you think it would be weird/awkward to know that your own parish priest engaged in the conjugal act of marriage every night?

Yep, it sure would be awkward to know how frequently my parish priest and his wife have sex. But it’s not like any married people really run around sharing this sort of information, and I surely hope that when others find out I am married they don’t start wondering about how often or how recently my husband and I had sex.

There is nothing wrong or impure about a husband and wife having sex. By your friend’s line of thinking, how could any married man or woman dare to receive the Eucharist the morning after a romantic interlude? God created man and woman for one another; He created sex. Sex is a good gift from God, not something we must do in order to propagate humanity.

Your acquaintance needs to study Catholic teaching on sex and on holy orders.

 

[WetCatechumen]

Dear CAF,

      Do you know how there are some Catholic rites (like the Maronite right) which actually do allow their priest to be married?  I was wondering if I could have your thoughts about this.  I think it's okay for priests to be married if the Church says so *.  

       I made this thread because I had a conversation with my best friend, who was TOTALLY against married priest.  My best friend said, "How could the very same man who holds up the Eucharistic Host during the mass and who is dressed in all the holy clothes of a dignified priest, . . . how could that very same man engage in sex during the night with his wife and in the morning, dare to celebrate mass?"  

      Dear CAF, do you think it would be weird/awkward to know that your own parish priest engaged in the conjugal act of marriage every night?  If the Catholic Church does one day allow its priests to marry and you were the wife of a Catholic priest, would you look at that man with less respect when you see him celebrating mass on the altar, since you already knew him super intimately? 

      I would like to know your thoughts regarding this.*

Married Eastern priests abstain from relations with their wives the night before offering Divine Liturgy, and on fast days - this includes the entirety of Great Lent.

 

[otjm]

My best friend believes that a priest must maintain a sense of dignity and honor, and that allowing priest to marry would lower the priest down the level of the people.

Too much of that “dignity and honor” is behind the excuses the bishops have had for hiding the sexual predation of the few priests who have abused children. It is another variation on clericalism.

A priest is not simply just another Catholic. On the other hand, the Church has had married priests from the start of the Church. There were married priests for centuries in the Roman rite, and continually in the Eastern rites. Marriage is a sacrament; why a priest cannot be in a sacramental covenentual relationship has nothing whatsoever to do with ordination.