Married Priests...Yes, No, Maybe?

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Well, considering it used to be in practice, and I would bet there were a lot less sexually-confused priests in the church (and therefore, less abuse)
That doesn’t necessarily follow. There are countless cases of child sexual abuse where the predator was a teacher, scout leader, protestant pastor, kids sports coach, or other volunteer who worked with kids and most of them were married or at least dating someone.
Additionally, I have found it frustrating in the past to communicate with a Catholic priest on family/marriage/child issues because, let’s face it, they have no real-world experience beyond hearing about everyone else’s problems. They have no idea what it is like to be married or to raise a child.
So if you have a reason in the future to go to a family therapist, would you only go to one who has a family? Would you only go to an oncologist who has had or has cancer? Are male obstetricians unqualified because they don’t have female organs?
To address the “I’m too busy in the church to attend to my family,” I think this is hogwash. The priest’s family is usually heavily involved with the church, in fact the priest’s wife (in the Greek church called a Prespytira) has a special vocation of her own to be available in running church programs and assisting her husband. Additionally, their children are usually quite involved and usually end up doing something within the church as they become adults.
Sit down with a married priest sometime and have a honest discussion about this, You’ll be surprised at the difficulties that are caused by their simultaneous vocations.
 
This thread reminded me of an address the Bishop of Shrewsbury gave to the seminarians at Oscott last year:

Homily for the Solemnity of the Ascension of the Lord
by Right Rev. Mark Davies, Bishop of Shrewsbury
Oscott College, 20th May 2012

“You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you, and then you will be my witnesses …” (Acts 1:8)

Today I want to reflect with you, men preparing for the priesthood, on how we are called to be such witnesses of Christ by the consecration of our lives in apostolic celibacy. Pope Benedict reminds us that this feast of the Ascension of the Lord is not a feast of Christ’s “absence” or “disappearance.” Rather, the Holy Father reflects, this mystery urges us: “to consolidate our faith in the Real Presence of Jesus in history: without him we can do nothing effective in our life or our apostolate.” The Church was not born and does not live, Pope Benedict explains, “to compensate for the absence of her Lord who has “disappeared” but on the contrary finds the reason for her existence and mission in the invisible presence of Jesus, a presence working through the power of his Spirit” (24th May 2009).

In a similar way celibacy, by which we seek to give our whole lives in the Priesthood, might also be seen as an “absence”, a “void” which leaves us without the possibility of marriage. Yet it is in reality a radical self-gift by which we give ourselves completely to Christ and make ourselves totally available to him for the service of His Church. It is a life to be lived, as the Gospel and the Catechism emphasises “for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven” (CCC 1579). It must be a life filled with Christ or it would, indeed, be an empty life. This is a life which constantly points, as does the celebration of this day, towards Heaven, to the resurrection and to the life of the world to come. In a culture today which often seeks to live as if God and eternity do not exist, this witness of celibacy is more needful than ever. As Pope Benedict said at the end of the “Year for Priests,” “celibacy is an anticipation, a foretaste of the future, made possible by the grace of the Lord who draws us to himself and anticipates the world of the resurrection.” If this world alone were sufficient we would close the doors to the greatness of our existence. But the meaning of celibacy as an anticipation of the future, the Holy Father declared, “is to open these doors, to make the world greater, to show the reality of the future which should be lived by us as already present” (Vigil in St. Peter’s Square 10th June 2010). In this way, we can see our call to celibacy in the light of the Ascension of the Lord and its profound meaning.

In those remarkable conversations with priests which Pope Benedict has engaged in, he speaks of “the scandal” of celibacy, the scandal of a life, the scandal of a witness you seek to embrace. “For the agnostic world,” he says, “the world in which God does not enter” this is a very great scandal. The celibacy of the Catholic Priesthood lived in its integrity “is a great sign of faith, of the presence of God in the world” (10th June 2010). It has been a hallmark of the Catholic Priesthood which never ceases to draw the fascination of the world. Yet this way of life would be unthinkable and unimaginable without Christ. “It exists because Christ, who makes it possible, exists” (Cardinal Hummes, reflections on 40th Anniversary of “Sacerdotalis Caelibatus”). And Christ exists not, we recall today, as an historical memory for those who must wonder “what would Jesus have done?” No! He is the Lord who is truly present, loving and redeeming us now. To this the celibacy of the Catholic Priest gives a constant witness.

[continued in next post]
 
Sometimes people will say to you celibacy is an unnecessary imposition, and it is often easier to explain celibacy on grounds of practicality. Yet this celibate life, this gift of self, rests on grounds of faith. Where faith is lacking, where the perspective of the Ascension and of Eternity is lost, celibacy would indeed seem to be an incomprehensible imposition by ecclesiastical authority. But as Pope Paul wrote in the Encyclical Letter he promised the Fathers of the Second Vatican Council he would write powerfully affirming it as a priceless gift, priestly celibacy is a brilliant jewel, guarded by the Church for centuries. Pope Paul wrote: “by a daily dying to himself and by giving up the legitimate love of a family of his own for the love of Christ and of his Kingdom, the priest will find the glory of an exceedingly rich and fruitful life in Christ …” An element of real sacrifice is, of course, part of every Christian vocation, not least the vocation of marriage and the family. From my own experience, and the experience of countless generations of priests, the sacrifice involved in celibacy seems small compared with the joy of a gift which allows us to give the whole of our lives to Christ as a priest.

You often hear voices calling for an end to priestly celibacy as it has been lived in the Catholic Church. From my own reading of history, those voices have never been lacking. Yet this is precisely because the witness to which we are called is a radical one. I would ask you always to question their view not so much of celibacy but of the Priesthood itself. When we reflect on the Priesthood as it has been taught and lived by the Church and witnessed to in the lives of countless saints the giving of a life, of my life and yours, seems very little. St. John Vianney, our patron, was overwhelmed by the greatness of this gift and the task entrusted to a human creature, “How great is a priest,” he would say, “If he realised what he is, he would die not of fear but out of love …only in heaven will the priest fully realise what he is.” When we recognise the reality of the Priesthood we would wish to give all of ourselves, all of our lives in return knowing this would never be enough.

We know celibacy is not demanded of the Priesthood by its nature yet we also see through the centuries that this intimate connection of celibacy and the priesthood is not a contrived one. Celibacy was not an arbitrary imposition of an ecclesiastical law arising from historical conditions which have now passed. The councils which enacted laws of celibacy in the earliest centuries, of perfect continence for the clergy, had no doubt that they were acting on an apostolic tradition and they explicitly declared this. The Popes of our own time have reaffirmed the celibate Priesthood in powerful and moving terms. We think of Blessed John XXIII, Pope Paul VI, Blessed John Paul II, and our present Holy Father Pope Benedict. This is, I believe, because the witness of the celibate Priesthood is not something less needed today: it is more needed than ever before! Our Lord tells us on this day of the Ascension: “when the Holy Spirit comes on you, then you will be my witnesses … to the ends of the earth” (Acts 1:8). In all that apostolic celibacy gives witness to yesterday and today may we be such witnesses, joyful witnesses, to the end of our lives. Amen.

dioceseofshrewsbury.org/news/press-releases/bishop-reaffirms-the-enduring-value-of-priestly-celibacy-2

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amsjj 🙂

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Jesus, God and man,
imprisoned by love in Thy most holy Sacrament,
have mercy upon us.
  • Blessed John Henry Newman, December 22, 1851
Tú y yo sabemos por la fe que oculto en las especies sacramentales está Cristo,
ese Cristo con su Cuerpo, con su Sangre, con su Alma, y con su Divinidad,
prisonero de amor.
  • San Josemaría Escrivá, 1 junio 1974
… Our Lord Himself frequently said; and it is recorded as an Apostolic tradition from Him by St. Justin the Martyr. He says ‘Jesus often said, “They who are near Me are near a fire”’.
  • Abp. W. B. Ullathorne, August 1st 1886
 
That doesn’t necessarily follow. There are countless cases of child sexual abuse where the predator was a teacher, scout leader, protestant pastor, kids sports coach, or other volunteer who worked with kids and most of them were married or at least dating someone.
True, abuse happens everywhere, but there is an unmistakable correlation between the abuse and the fact that these priests are so obviously confused about their sexuality. Even if they never act out on their impulses, their emotions are skewered from the start. They jump from high school to seminary, never allowed to develop naturally. Regardless, someone who takes advantage of a child is in my opinion evil, but with so much abuse, particularly on the homosexual side, one must see that there is something wrong from the start with these men…
So if you have a reason in the future to go to a family therapist, would you only go to one who has a family? Would you only go to an oncologist who has had or has cancer? Are male obstetricians unqualified because they don’t have female organs?
Touche, but all of those people you mentioned went through years of education based SOLEY on those particular subjects. Priests obviously are highly educated, but mainly in the spiritual/lingual subjects. Most are not given a full education on dealing with the psychological/emotional problems people bring to their confessonal/office. I’m not saying they’re completely useless in this respect, but I would feel more comfortable taking advice from a priest who has lived life beyond his rectory.
(side note, I avoid male obstetricians in general for this reason 😛 )
Sit down with a married priest sometime and have a honest discussion about this, You’ll be surprised at the difficulties that are caused by their simultaneous vocations.
We have done so. My husband and I are candidates for conversion in the greek church and furthermore, he is on the path to priesthood. We have had several conversations with our priests concerning this subject and so far we are accepting the obvious difficulties–the same risks that all couples take when a spouse is heavily involved in his profession. Some people can handle, some can’t. Ultimately, I don’t think anyone has the right to make that decision for a priest. Again, he does not HAVE to get married.
 
Theological issues aside, I think it’s a terrible idea for practical reasons. Priests aren’t merely performing a job, it’s a vocation that requires the same energy and time commitment as a marriage. Ask any protestant married pastor how rough it is for them and it’d be even tougher for a Catholic priest (Protestants only have worship services on the weekend and while they make time for counseling, funerals and marriages, they don’t need to make time for the sacraments). Ask any married couple how they think it’d affect their marriage. Ask any priest how well he thinks he’d be able to devote the time and energy required for a healthy marriage on top of his current duties.
👍
 
True, abuse happens everywhere, but there is an unmistakable correlation between the abuse and the fact that these priests are so obviously confused about their sexuality. Even if they never act out on their impulses, their emotions are skewered from the start. They jump from high school to seminary, never allowed to develop naturally. Regardless, someone who takes advantage of a child is in my opinion evil, but with so much abuse, particularly on the homosexual side, one must see that there is something wrong from the start with these men…
Actually the rate of child sexual abuse by priests is a tenth of that by any other walk of life, and predators are at least as likely to be married or in a romantic heterosexual relationship as not.
Touche, but all of those people you mentioned went through years of education based SOLEY on those particular subjects. Priests obviously are highly educated, but mainly in the spiritual/lingual subjects. Most are not given a full education on dealing with the psychological/emotional problems people bring to their confessonal/office. I’m not saying they’re completely useless in this respect, but I would feel more comfortable taking advice from a priest who has lived life beyond his rectory.
(side note, I avoid male obstetricians in general for this reason 😛 )
Any priest worth his salt is going to limit his counseling to spiritual matters and will know when and where a professional therapist needs to be referred to. When it comes to spiritual matters it doesn’t matter if a priest doesn’t have a “family” experience.
We have done so. My husband and I are candidates for conversion in the greek church and furthermore, he is on the path to priesthood. We have had several conversations with our priests concerning this subject and so far we are accepting the obvious difficulties–the same risks that all couples take when a spouse is heavily involved in his profession. Some people can handle, some can’t. Ultimately, I don’t think anyone has the right to make that decision for a priest.
In that case, I would encourage you to talk to more married priests, You’ll find the ones who are experiencing strain on both their marriage and their priestly vocation far outnumber those like the one you describe.
Again, he does not HAVE to get married.
Understood, but we’re talking about whether it’s a good idea or not in general terms.
 
True, abuse happens everywhere, but there is an unmistakable correlation between the abuse and the fact that these priests are so obviously confused about their sexuality. Even if they never act out on their impulses, their emotions are skewered from the start. They jump from high school to seminary, never allowed to develop naturally. Regardless, someone who takes advantage of a child is in my opinion evil, but with so much abuse, particularly on the homosexual side, one must see that there is something wrong from the start with these men…
Citation please.

In general, I think your comments have been mostly addressed by others, but this got to me a little bit.

While it is “folk wisdom” that priests, even those “who never act out” (as though all celibate people, and priests in particular, are some how restraining desires to engage in sexual perversion), are confused about their sexuality because they “are never allowed to develop naturally,” or that celibacy is always (usually) the result of some terrible dysfunction and could only be chosen willingly by someone who is somehow messed up, or perhaps isn’t chosen willingly at all and is always the result of pressure - I call B.S.

I am claiming that your unmistakable correlation is in fact a mistake born of our cultures over-obsession with sex, that abuse is no more common among the celibate than the married, and no more common among the clergy than the laymen.

I direct you to catholiceducation.org/articles/facts/fm0011.html for my source, and that page also cites sources should you care to examine more deeply.

So again, I ask that if there really is such an unmistakable correlation that you produce the documentation to show this.
 
I vote all three.

I am ambivalent about opening up the priesthood to married men in the Latin Rite.

On the con side, is that I don’t think it is necessary. When I chose to marry my wife I knew that in addition to giving up being to marry any other women no matter what happened that I was also giving up the priesthood. That was a deliberate choice of mine and one that I will not cheapen by wanting to be a priest.

Further, this focusing on whether married men should be priest is a distraction from other more pressing problems.

On the pro-side married priest helps promote a celibate life. Nobody will be able to say that the only reason that priest chose a celibate life was because it was forced on him in order to become a priest. Every man and woman who can be said to deliberately chose a life of celibacy strikes a huge blow against an overly sexualized world.
 
I vote all three.

I am ambivalent about opening up the priesthood to married men in the Latin Rite.

On the con side, is that I don’t think it is necessary.
I wouldn’t say necessary, but I would say heavily advisable.
On the pro-side married priest helps promote a celibate life. Nobody will be able to say that the only reason that priest chose a celibate life was because it was forced on him in order to become a priest. Every man and woman who can be said to deliberately chose a life of celibacy strikes a huge blow against an overly sexualized world.
👍
 
Additionally, I have found it frustrating in the past to communicate with a Catholic priest on family/marriage/child issues because, let’s face it, they have no real-world experience beyond hearing about everyone else’s problems. They have no idea what it is like to be married or to raise a child.
on the other hand there is the advantage that the priest won’t bring his baggage to the table either. Priests do experience family life as they all grew up in a family. After all, you wouldn’t expect them to have to experience dying in order to counsel the dying.
To address the “I’m too busy in the church to attend to my family,” I think this is hogwash. The priest’s family is usually heavily involved with the church, in fact the priest’s wife (in the Greek church called a Prespytira) has a special vocation of her own to be available in running church programs and assisting her husband. Additionally, their children are usually quite involved and usually end up doing something within the church as they become adults.
that can put a heavy burden on the children. I have several friends who were pastor’s kids. They all left the church they grew up in. The pressure to participate and to be the ‘best’ was overwhelming.
You are forgetting also that just because marriage could be open to priests, this doesn’t mean he has to partake in this vocation. My husband and I are friends with a greek orthodox monk, on his way to priesthood, who has chosen a celibate life despite having an open door to marriage (and in fact ended a serious relationship to pursue celibacy).
it was my understanding that once a man takes holy orders he can’t marry even in the Orthodox church.
In conclusion, this was a traditional practice for centuries and I believe it was a poor decision the church made to strip away the ability for priests to truly understand what it is like to have a family life.
I would disagree because I think a man should choose either the church or a family. You can’t serve two masters. The Catholic Church feels it is in the best interest of the Church and of families that priests do not marry. Speaking as a once married woman, I agree.
 
short answer: no.

As long as you accept the authority of the church to say that men cannot be both married and ordained to the priesthood, you may have your opinions…much as those who did not like the restrictions placed on the TLM were free to have their opinions, as long as they obeyed and accepted church teaching.
"Has anyone bothered to ask the Priests what they think of this?
Most of them have described celibacy as a gift.
So, we should take this away from them? "
Why don’t we ask the men who didn’t become Priests because, while they have deep religious devotion, they also wish to participate in familial life? And, historical traditions (which could favor a married priesthood) aside, the fact is that the Western Church is very likely denying itself the potential for large numbers of new Priests by excluding those who wish to marry. Would there be challenges for any married couple that included someone in the Priesthood? Yes. But so are there challenges for couples including a soldier, firefighter, or, for that matter, an accountant who has to work 65 hours a week.
 
Perhaps many of you guys are taking what I’m saying out of context. I should’ve better clarified my position in my initial post and I apologize for that. I’m kind of in the middle of the whole married vs celibate issue. I believe that a celibate priesthood would be good for a few reasons and at the same time a married priesthood would be good too for a lot of reasons. I just wanted to know what position is correct and why. Sorry for not clarifying that earlier. God bless.
 
In response to the last two posts I’ll share what I’m facing right now. I’ve been divorced for 8 years, After 15+ years of lapse, I came back “home” 5 years ago, and I came back with a passion. I’m currently waiting for a decision on my annulment and discerning a call to the permanent deaconate. I haven’t dated since returning to the faith, and don’t plan to until/unless I receive a decree of nullity. For anyone who doesn’t know, if you are ordained a deacon while single, you remain single, so I have a choice, Pursue the deaconate training when the next class starts (I believe this summer at which time the annulment should be done) or wait a couple years(or more) to see if I meet someone and get married again first. Granted, the training takes 5 years and it would still be possible to meet someone before ordination, which is the cut off so to speak. However, while a lot of people would look at this situation as me having to figure out what I want to do, that’s not the way I look at it. What I have to do is discern which path God wants me to take. Which one will conform to His will for me because I know that as long as I’m pursuing His will, my fulfillment will follow. Truth be told, I can see myself living out my life as either married or celibate and being happy, fulfilled and joyful either way.
 
Perhaps many of you guys are taking what I’m saying out of context. I should’ve better clarified my position in my initial post and I apologize for that. I’m kind of in the middle of the whole married vs celibate issue. I believe that a celibate priesthood would be good for a few reasons and at the same time a married priesthood would be good too for a lot of reasons. I just wanted to know what position is correct and why. Sorry for not clarifying that earlier. God bless.
An Eastern Orothodox priest (and his wife) would be able to give another perspective to the challenges and benefits of being a married priest. Not that they have the solution to all the concerns that others have posted above and I’m curious how they approach the issue of divorce, in particular.
 
Am I wrong to believe that it would be a good idea for the Latin Rite of the Church to allow priests to marry?
Are you wrong to believe this? No.

Is it going to make any difference in what happens in the Church? Also no. 🙂

I’m of the opinion that being married should not automatically exclude a Roman Catholic from being a priest, though I am of the opinion that the situation should be appropriately scrutinized.
 
I vote no…

To me the most important reason is spiritual. A Father first of all belongs to Christ in the Eucharist. There is a mystical union between him and The Lord and I do not think it is right to place this man in a conflict between serving the Eucharist and serving his family.

Do not forget that a healthy Catholic man could be given 10 - 15 children if his wife is rather young when they marry. Most of the Priests I know are extremely busy as it is, even without their families… How could they possibly have time for personal prayer? Who would pray for all these children?

It is true that protestant pastors are married but I would definitely not say that it works. I live in a Protestant country and we have a saying that follows “the pastors children are always the worst…”. If they even have children that is, because most of them accept contraception…
 
Theological issues aside, I think it’s a terrible idea for practical reasons. Priests aren’t merely performing a job, it’s a vocation that requires the same energy and time commitment as a marriage. Ask any protestant married pastor how rough it is for them and it’d be even tougher for a Catholic priest (Protestants only have worship services on the weekend and while they make time for counseling, funerals and marriages, they don’t need to make time for the sacraments). Ask any married couple how they think it’d affect their marriage. Ask any priest how well he thinks he’d be able to devote the time and energy required for a healthy marriage on top of his current duties.
Agree.

And if they are to be open to life, will the parish support the (possibly) large family of a priest?
 
The married diaconate would probably be the model (or at least starting point) for a married presbyterate - in a nutshell: older, married for a minimum length of time and with his wife’s agreement.

I had a discussion about this once with an Anglican/Episcopalian transitional deacon and his wife. He described it as being a joint ministry - although obviously there are some things which only he can do. I think that it’s very easy in discussions about allowing married priests (as opposed to allowing priests to marry which is something different) to focus solely on the priest, leaving the wife in the background.

Having said that, as one on the path to priesthood I am obviously under no illusions about the rule changing any time soon! That aside, I see celibacy as a way of being able (in a practical sense) to give totally of myself to my future ministry - the idea of celibacy for the sake of the Kingdom. I would not suggest that married clergy are inferior in terms of the quality of their ministry or that they “do less” when it comes to ministry. What I would say though is that for me, I don’t believe that I would be able to do my job as a priest (or for that matter as a husband or father) as well without being celibate.
 
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