Married Priests...Yes, No, Maybe?

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In response to the last two posts I’ll share what I’m facing right now. I’ve been divorced for 8 years, After 15+ years of lapse, I came back “home” 5 years ago, and I came back with a passion. I’m currently waiting for a decision on my annulment and discerning a call to the permanent deaconate. I haven’t dated since returning to the faith, and don’t plan to until/unless I receive a decree of nullity. For anyone who doesn’t know, if you are ordained a deacon while single, you remain single, so I have a choice, Pursue the deaconate training when the next class starts (I believe this summer at which time the annulment should be done) or wait a couple years(or more) to see if I meet someone and get married again first. Granted, the training takes 5 years and it would still be possible to meet someone before ordination, which is the cut off so to speak. However, while a lot of people would look at this situation as me having to figure out what I want to do, that’s not the way I look at it. What I have to do is discern which path God wants me to take. Which one will conform to His will for me because I know that as long as I’m pursuing His will, my fulfillment will follow. Truth be told, I can see myself living out my life as either married or celibate and being happy, fulfilled and joyful either way.
What are the advantages of choosing the permanent diaconate over the priesthood? I’m not criticizing your vocation, I just want to know?
 
I forgot another practicality - the confessional - married persons are not supposed to have any secrets and so - he’d tell his wife all the confessions or maybe just the important ones, & no one in the parish would trust him or her.
Strictly speaking in the confessional you confess to Jesus Christ through the priest rather to to the priest himself.
 
As a Catholic convert, and the child of a protestant minister, I’d emphasize the sometimes conflicting pull between duty to the parish and duty to family. My father, God bless him, did the best he could, and (I hope) we children turned out OK, but there were so many evenings where it was just Mom and the kids, as Dad was busy attending meetings etc. because the lay committees had to have their meetings on weeknights due to their work schedules. Thus, it was the minister whose family suffered due to his constant need to be “available” 7 days per week to all his parishioners.
This was my experience in a small Midwestern parish. I’m not saying it can’t be done but it certainly has risks and downsides to it.
 
Someone at work brought this up and it always infuriates me because they act like the whole scandal of pedophiles would have been gone…like being celibate causes that illness. Pedophiles, whether they prey on boys or girls are sick people who gravitate to jobs where they can be around them, teachers, religious, coaches, etc. Why they became priests is easy to see, why we kept them is another…they never put God first, maybe never thought of him at all. Gay priests with a vocation would still want to be priests and can still be celibate but I understand years ago wanting to “hide” in the priesthood…that and a career in the service would keep the “When are you getting married” at bay. Now it isn’t such a shameful thing and hopefully no one feels they have to hide.
That said, my concern, is the church hasn’t been set up for that and how in the world would they pay for it? Would the priest have to work another job also or his wife? Would they church support lets say, 7 children of his and their schooling, activities’, etc. What would keep men wanting to be a priest just to have the church help his family? What would happen if he or his wife after 10 years or so separated or he had an affair? Who would be responsible for the children and alimony…it’s so complicated to me.
 
What are the advantages of choosing the permanent diaconate over the priesthood? I’m not criticizing your vocation, I just want to know?
It isn’t really a question of advantages. It’s a matter of what is God calling me to do. For now, the priesthood wouldn’t be practical for me, my kids are adults, but they are very young adults (late teens to early twenties). My primary vocation is as their father and they still need help from dear old dad at times. Beyond that though, I’ve been discerning a call to service as a Deacon, but I haven’t discerned a call to service as a Priest. Deacons can perform certain sacraments, but their calling is directed more toward the corporal and spiritual works of mercy. Priests perform the corporal and spiritual works of mercy, but are needed to perform the sacraments primarily.
 
IMO I believe that opening up the priesthood to married men would be a good thing. I am of the conservative outlook on life but I think it would help to get a diverse type of person into the priesthood. I think it might also help to reduce the average age of priests. From a person point of view I have always been interested in being a priest, but the celibacy part of joining has been a barrier (men are after all only human). The celibacy ‘rule’ is a man made construct so i don’t believe it is beyond the pale to suggest that allowing married men to become priests would be a good thing for the RC church.
 
Has anyone bothered to ask the Priests what they think of this?

Most of them have described celibacy as a gift.

So, we should take this away from them? 🤷
nobody is insinuating that those called to the charism of celibacy should be FORCED to marry. Just saying that there are likely those being called to the Priesthood who are NOT called to the life of celibacy. They’re separate vocations.

Remember that story where the guys tear off the roof of the house and lower their buddy down inside to get him close to Jesus so he could be cured of his paralysis? That house was Simon Peter’s Mother-In-Law’s house!!! If the FIRST Pope was married, why can’t a parish priest. Besides, the whole thing of welcoming married Anglican priests into the Catholic Priesthood but not allowing sincere, devout RC men access to the priesthood strikes some of us (this guy) as confusing and a bit insulting.
 
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