Married Priests

[Seatuck]

Our dearest friend is the priest who married us in 1978. He married his DW civilly a year or so after we were married and lived in our neighborhood before DW and I had our first child and moved out to the country.

In 1986 he showed up at my job as a co-worker. A more Christ-like man I have never known. It took until 1988 for him to work through the Vatican bureaucracy to become laicized. DW and I served as witnesses when he got his marriage regularized (is that the right term?) after his laicization.

HMC allowed married priests up until the 11th century. It is a discipline of the church and is not engraved in stone. Our own Eastern Catholics and the Orthodox permit married priests. My friend is an active (but stealthy) member of his parish. He is not supposed to engage in any kind of ministry. How silly is that?

We can accept married ex-Episcopalian priests into our parishes but we can’t accept our own? Married priests don’t bother me in the slightest. The abuses of the 11th century are not the abuses of the 21st.

Episcopalian priests don’t go through the period of discernment about the celibate life that our priests do. That is why in some instances it is permited for them to be ordained.
If you go to the Catholic Answers archives you will see some shows on priestly celibacy done by at least two of those former episcopal ministers now Catholic Priests. In every show that I have heard they speak whole heartedly for celibacy.
As for your friend. I know you love him but he went against his vow to the church. He willingly chose to live in a sinful situation and encouraged another to do so as well. I do not see that as Christ-like behavior. I am glad that he was able to be laicized. Unfortunately he made his choice and his choice was to walk away from his ministry.

 

[Mamselle_Duroc]

Like others have pointed out, there’s a difference between ‘married men becoming priests’ and ‘priests getting married.’ And others have mentioned the problems with trying to balance family and flock.

And something I’ve wondered about… If we’re talking about ‘priests getting married,’ I can see all sorts of awkwardness arising. How does this effect his relationship with the single ladies of his parish? I personally would have a really hard time speaking to him on the terms I’m accustomed to. I consider priests my spiritual fathers, I look to them for guidance and advice. That would change if I knew that he might be looking at me as a potential spouse. :ehh: Confession, spiritual direction, and just plain talking to him would be very uncomfortable.

 

[ChristB4Church]

This is my first post, so please give me a bit of room for clarification on my thoughts before giving me thumbs down!

First, I am quite sure that if the Catholic Church allows priests to marry that it would not stop any scandals that have occurred in the past. There will still be issues. We, including a priest, pastor, minister, are all Men and we have and will fall short in the eyes of God (as well as each other). Recall, that it is in our fall that we glorify Christ by revealing his redemptive power in us, cleansing us from all or our unrighteousness. It seems to be that if a Catholic wants to serve God, he or she can sure do that in a position other then the Priesthood and thus fulfill their desire to marry while serving God.

If you recall in the NT, Paul talks a lot about getting married and serving God. On more than one occasion, he states that it is “easier” and “preferred” that a man stay single if he is going to dedicate himself as a leader in the Church (not just a Catholic church, but any Church that puts Christ as the head of the church). The NT (Paul) does not say that a man can never get married if he wants to be a Priest/Minister/Pastor but does recommend it, and that is the stance that Catholic Church has taken, following the advice of Paul.

As with all decisions, there are things gained and things left aside. The benefits of marriage are great (just ask anyone who is married) and I might argue that marriage is a bible covenant that is a part of sanctification. That is, our spouses are a God provided partner to sanctify us. One outside of marriage would not fully understand this process. At the same time, one who is alone with God and God only, has much different experience that also moves and grows them in sanctification. For me, the chose of marriage was the only way!

In Christ,

Curtis

 

[Pious_Mat]

First of all, I don’t think people realize how widespread celibacy was the early Church. Even though celibacy wasn’t mandatory universally before the 11th century, that doesn’t mean it didn’t exist before then.

In Spain, for example, the Council of Elvira (295 AD). Many of the Church Fathers of this period were celibate after ordination. Many clergy were voluntarily celibate, especially Bishops. The 11th century decision didn’t set any dangerous new precedents, and it wasn’t entirely for practical purposes.

People so often only focus on practicality. What about spirituality?

Think of the following: A priest should live his life according to the Evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity, and obedience –

–How can one live according to poverty if one has a family to support? A priest has just as much formal education as a Doctor, sometimes more, and if he had a family, would command the salary of one.

–St. Paul makes it very clear that having a wife makes total obedience to the Lord very difficult. Sometimes the Holy Spirit blows us in strange directions, and families cannot always follow. This is true even of Diocesan priests.

–Celibacy is chastity brought to perfection. It is an objectively higher state, foreshadowing how we shall live in Heaven.

Furthermore, married priests might increase the numbers of priests, but not quality. Priesthood is a sacrificial office, and if a man wants to be a priest and is not willing to sacrifice married life to become a priest, how can he truly mount the steps of the altar as an alter christus? I’d rather have one celibate priest than ten married ones, converts aside (they certainly make many sacrifices in converting to catholicism).

Frankly, I don’t see why anyone would want married priests. On every discernment retreat I’ve ever been to, the seminarians with whom I lived for the duration of my stay don’t wrestle with celibacy at all. They love it. Once someone has given one’s life to Christ, celibacy is on the bottom of the list of concerns.

 

[quiet52]

Let’s hypothetically consider the vows of a man committed to two vocations – marriage and priesthood.

First of all, as to the marriage – he vows to say “yes” to his wife until death. Which means every sexual act must be unitive and procreative in nature – they must be open to being fertile and multiplying. He must attend to the needs of his wife and his children.

Then to the priesthood, in which he vows to participate in the Church’s responsibility to teach, govern and sanctify in Jesus’ name. Assigned to a parish, his family of two lives in the three-bedroom rectory quarters. Oops, family of five … possibly of ten … or more. Mother cannot work outside the home, because Father (dad) is too busy with the duties of his priesthood to tend to the children much. Perhaps one or more of the children is a special-needs kid. The parishioners are as generous as they can be, providing for the transportation, medical, dental, and other needs of the family. Father is scheduled to celebrate 7 a.m. and 9 a.m. mass, but cannot because one child has a high fever and severe asthma attack, and Mom can’t take pack all eight kids into the 12-year-old car with her to go to the hospital emergency room. Or Father needs to cancel the parish council meeting or bible study because of pressing family needs. 10-year-old son has some friends over one day, and accidentally hits a baseball through the church’s stained glass window, incurring a $2500 repair job the pastor’s family can’t pay for. 14-year-old daughter is afraid to bother Father with her trivial problems (everyone else’s is more important), and their relationship becomes strained. Mother contracts a serious and long-term illness, and Father must seek permission from the bishop to be relieved of all priestly duties so he can tend to his family’s needs. Of course, because of his meager salary as a priest, the family would have no savings to tide them over, and they’d have to leave the rectory so the replacement priest could move in. Of course some parishioners would insist on a fundraiser, or second collection, to provide this family some financial help – but there is division within the parish, because of the parishioners who are loudly protesting that more funding be provided for other ministries.

Thank you, dear brother priests, for saying yes to your celibate lifestyle and for saying yes to us.

 

[tee_eff_em]

It’s not set in stone, Tee.

It

is a discipline of HMC. Gosh! Brotherhrolf as a radical! It boggles the mind!

If by

It

you mean: Routinely ordaining only celibate men to the presbyterate, I can agree with you.
If by

It

you mean: Allowing ordained men to become married, and still function as ordained, I cannot.

tee