Married to a Non Catholic

[OrthodoxBerean]

I have a question. I am on my journey back home to Rome. I was born Catholic, left and became pentecostal (UPCI) married a woman in that church and then divorced and have since then re married another non Catholic. After this second marriage I have been being drawn back to the Church. I have been to Mass several times and have not received communion. I desperately want to be able to be able to receive communion once again. My wife has told be several times that she does not want to be Catholic. I am praying that God changes her heart at some point.

Is there any way around this? How should I think about my circumstance?

What does it do to me spiritually if I am not able to partake in the Eucharist at Mass?

 

[Hatikvah]

I am not like a canon law lawyer or even a Catholic for that matter, but please persist in your prayer. Prayer is key, and St. Monica is a good intercessor for the conversion of loved ones (St. Augustine is her son, so obviously that was a good conversion).

God bless.

 

[Reuben_J]

I have a question. I am on my journey back home to Rome. I was born Catholic, left and became pentecostal (UPCI) married a woman in that church and then divorced and have since then re married another non Catholic. After this second marriage I have been being drawn back to the Church. I have been to Mass several times and have not received communion. I desperately want to be able to be able to receive communion once again. My wife has told be several times that she does not want to be Catholic. I am praying that God changes her heart at some point.

Is there any way around this? How should I think about my circumstance?

What does it do to me spiritually if I am not able to partake in the Eucharist at Mass?

Do make an appointment with your parish priest to resolve your issue.

Depending on the details of your situation, the priest would be able to advise and the steps that you would have to take so that you can receive Holy Communion.

Perhaps it will involve a validation of your marriage, and it would be a mixed marriage approved by the Church.

Not sure about your first marriage though. Since you were not married in the Church and had civil divorce, no annulment may be necessary. If that is the case, it would be less of a hassle for you as you would only need to validate your present marriage.

 

[Catholic1954]

You need to make an appointment with a wise and holy priest who can help you make your way back to the Church. He can also help you start (if needed) any paperwork for the annulment process of your first marriage. Your wife does not have to convert if she does not want to, but don’t be surprised if she changes her mind.

 

[1soul]

I will say a prayer for you and your wife. As others have said, talking with a priest will help you figure out the best way forward. My heart goes out to you; I am also married to a non-Catholic who has no interest whatsoever in converting (long story). It is hard to describe the particular type of emotional and spiritual struggle I’ve experienced in my relationship with my husband, however, that same struggle has also been the source of much growth. I pray for him daily, and try earnestly to trust that God is merciful and ever present.

Not being able to receive communion must be difficult. I sincerely hope you’re able to talk soon with a knowledgeable and compassionate priest. God is ever merciful; He would not have stirred your heart to move closer to Him without also making the grace available for you to do so. Peace be with you on your journey.

 

[SecretGarden]

I agree with what everyone said. You can also read
[

Rome Sweet Home: Our Journey to Catholicism](https://www.amazon.ca/Rome-Sweet-Ho...id=1469767852&sr=8-1&keywords=rome+sweet+rome)Aug 1 1993by Scott Hahn and Kimberly Hahn.

It might comfort you as you begin this journey back into the Catholic church. The authors weren’t originally Catholic but their journey is certainly inspirational.

Best of luck,

SG

 

[PaulfromIowa]

Yes, talk to a priest about your situation. The fact that you were baptized Catholic and your first marriage was outside the Church probably means that you can receive a decree of nullity quickly. Then your current marriage can be blessed and you can return to Communion with the Church. Your present wife does not have to convert.

 

[Used2beSherryG]

Yes, talk to a priest about your situation. The fact that you were baptized Catholic and your first marriage was outside the Church probably means that you can receive a decree of nullity quickly. Then your current marriage can be blessed and you can return to Communion with the Church. Your present wife does not have to convert.

My husband is not Catholic, I fell away from the church in my teen years, married a horrible alcoholic and divorced after 17 years of hell. I married my husband five years later and began to yearn for Jesus and His church after a long period of totally secular life. My husband was very resistant, however some years of prayer, attending regular Mass on Sundays, Adoration, daily mass after I got a new job where the timing allowed for this. Eventually, he began to wear down and the resistance became lessened, however he still refused to consider the Catholic Church for himself. He was willing to go thru the priest and marriage advocate so that we could have my first attempt at marriage nullified and his, as well. Finally, our marriage was blessed by the Church. Much prayer and patience are necessary my friend. Enlist the local priest’s help and study your faith, read everything the Church teaches in the Catechism, read about the Saints and conversion stories. I highly recommend EWTN programs, like Journey Home, all the Mother Angelica reruns, even the EWTN Nightly News to avoid the main stream media spin on what is going on in the world. My journey back into the Church took almost five years. it was well worth it and I am so happy, and so is my husband.

 

[1ke]

I have a question. I am on my journey back home to Rome. I was born Catholic, left and became pentecostal (UPCI) married a woman in that church and then divorced

That marriage was not valid due to lack of form because you are a Catholic. This is a matter of paperwork, quickly taken care of.

and have since then re married another non Catholic.

Provided that your current wife has no prior marriages on her part, then this is a simple matter to rectify. You can convalidate the marriage by exchanging vows in the Catholic form OR if she does not want to exchange consent again you could ask for radical sanation which makes the marriage valid without new consent.

After this second marriage I have been being drawn back to the Church. I have been to Mass several times and have not received communion. I desperately want to be able to be able to receive communion once again.

Make an appointment to explain this all to your priest.

My wife has told be several times that she does not want to be Catholic. I am praying that God changes her heart at some point.

There is no requirement that she become Catholic for you to have a valid marriage and return to the sacraments yourself.

Of course continue to pray for her and her conversion if that is in your heart, but it is not an impediment to fixing the marriage situation.

Is there any way around this? How should I think about my circumstance?

What does it do to me spiritually if I am not able to partake in the Eucharist at Mass?

Make an appoint with your pastor

 

[petra22]

I will say a prayer for you and your wife. As others have said, talking with a priest will help you figure out the best way forward. My heart goes out to you; I am also married to a non-Catholic who has no interest whatsoever in converting (long story). It is hard to describe the particular type of emotional and spiritual struggle I’ve experienced in my relationship with my husband, however, that same struggle has also been the source of much growth. I pray for him daily, and try earnestly to trust that God is merciful and ever present.

Not being able to receive communion must be difficult. I sincerely hope you’re able to talk soon with a knowledgeable and compassionate priest. God is ever merciful; He would not have stirred your heart to move closer to Him without also making the grace available for you to do so. Peace be with you on your journey.

This touched my heart and came very close to my own situation. I’m praying for the OP and all of us who deal with it on a daily basis… Thank God I was able to have our marriage blessed after 14 years… and now can receive communion!

 

[OrthodoxBerean]

Thank you for all of the responses. I have been in prayer and will now prayer for those that are in my similar situation. Thanks again. Since the OP I have talked with a priest and he as well encouraged me to stay prayerful while he talks with the people that do the canon law. I am awaiting his reply.

Thanks to all!

 

[1soul]

So glad you were able to talk with a priest! I hope things go as smoothly as possible for you, and I will pray for you and your spouse. God is with you on this journey. “For the sake of His sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.”

 

[Reuben_J]

Thank you for all of the responses. I have been in prayer and will now prayer for those that are in my similar situation. Thanks again. Since the OP I have talked with a priest and he as well encouraged me to stay prayerful while he talks with the people that do the canon law. I am awaiting his reply.

Thanks to all!

God will make a way.

God bless.

 

[Paganus]

I have a question. I am on my journey back home to Rome.

Welcome back home! Somebody must have been praying for you.

I was born Catholic, left and became pentecostal (UPCI) married a woman in that church and then divorced and have since then re married another non Catholic.

Good news: first wife was probably not your wife (sacramentally).
Bad news: second wife is probably not your wife (sacramentally). So you will want to consider getting married in the Church.
But talk to a priest.

After this second marriage I have been being drawn back to the Church. I have been to Mass several times and have not received communion.

Spiritual Communion is available. Try this prayer or one similar: My Jesus, I believe that you are present in the most Blessed Sacrament. I love You above all things and I desire to receive You into my soul. Since I cannot now receive You sacramentally, come at least spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as if You have already come, and unite myself wholly to You. Never permit me to be separated from You. Amen.

I desperately want to be able to be able to receive communion once again.

Speak with a priest. They can make it happen.

My wife has told be several times that she does not want to be Catholic. I am praying that God changes her heart at some point.

No problem. She has to follow her conscience. You have had a conversion experience and she has not. Keep praying.

Is there any way around this? How should I think about my circumstance??

Talk with a priest. From what you have said, it would appear that you are not in a sacramentally valid marriage. That’s not great, but it’s incredibly common. Ask your wife if she would be willing to marry you (again, from her perspective) in the Catholic Church. But talk with a priest.

What does it do to me spiritually if I am not able to partake in the Eucharist at Mass?

It gives you humility and the opportunity to show your obedience to Our Lord and His Holy Church. It’s not uncommon - nobody who is conscious of a grave sin should be receiving communion. Make a spiritual communion instead. Welcome home!

 

[Liturgy_Geek_1]

I agree with many posters, prayer is the key.

When my husband and I got married, I was Catholic and he was unbaptized. It took almost 25 years of prayer and sacrifices but my husband finally joined the Tiber Swim Team in 2012. I wept at his baptism.

Don’t give up hope. Don’t give up on the prayers and sacrifices.