Married to Myself

[newmommy72]

I think the hardest part to deal with is what was promised before my marriage. He is physically, emotionally and spiritually pushing me away from him every single day and I worry about how this will impact our little one. Last week, he was screaming at me in front of her while I was trying to get her to sleep, telling me to “get help” and that I have low self-esteem. He has driven me to this point. Sometimes I just want to wake up and pretend that this marriage never happened. The only good thing that has come of it has been our daughter.

 

[bethanysamuel]

I was just replying to you but my post got lost, but i was just saying that i think you need some time-out, like bring your daughter away with you for the weekend to a different village, get some breathing space; your head’s on overload and you need a break. If you don’t, he might end up convincing you you’re insane.

Do you have any good friends you can talk to? Or other mothers who might understand the stress of looking after a baby and still trying to make your marriage work.

You are not being treated very well by this man but maybe he is deeply unhappy about something he hasn’t told you about.

After you’ve had some breathing space, i’d book in a session of marriage counselling. If he won’t go, at least you’ll know you tried.

All you can do for now is try to take care of yourself because you’re also probably exhausted. It’s so sad that you’ve been let down by his promises but there could be stuff in his head that he hasn’t talked about.

I’ll pray that you find the strength to endure this difficult time and that the Lord will bring comfort, peace, reconciliation and joy to you, your husband and your daughter.

 

[lovemyboys]

I hope everything is going better for you, NewMommy!

 

[jessiepie]

NewMommy, I don’t want to plant any fear in your head but if he’s saying he needs “alone time” why is he always on his Blackberry which is a social tool? He may be looking at pornography (which explains the lack of intimacy) or having an innapropriate relationship with another woman (which can also explain the lack of intimacy).
Things like fishing or gardening are an activity the WHOLE family can do together regardless of your daughter’s age!
It is good and appropriate for both of you to socialize with others outside your marriage, but I wouldn’t endorse your husband going to a bar. Maybe over to a friends house or vice versa. Also maybe the both of you could find a young couple with a new baby, all 4 of you could spend time together as adults and trade parenting angst, recipes, etc etc. The other man could be a good healthy example to your husband!! And finally, I’d pray to St. Monica and reach out to clergy for advice!