Married to previous vocation discerner?

[kristleful]

Is anyone here married to someone who was previously discerning a religious vocation? Especially while dating you? My recent boyfriend wants to marry me but feels that God wants him to live the life of a Dominican for at least a year to make sure whether or not he’s called to be a Dominican. It’s the only religious order he feels drawn to. I keep asking whether or not he feels called to be a Dominican, and he keeps saying he only knows that he’s supposed to try it for a year. So, we broke up and he’s planning to enter the priory in August. It’s hard for both of us, and he’s planning to find me again if he ends up coming back after that year. I want to know if anyone knows of a situation in which a couple broke up for one to discern the religious life, and then they ended up getting back together…

Any thoughts or similar experiences?

 

[Cloisters]

Is anyone here married to someone who was previously discerning a religious vocation? Especially while dating you? My recent boyfriend wants to marry me but feels that God wants him to live the life of a Dominican for at least a year to make sure whether or not he’s called to be a Dominican. It’s the only religious order he feels drawn to. I keep asking whether or not he feels called to be a Dominican, and he keeps saying he only knows that he’s supposed to try it for a year. So, we broke up and he’s planning to enter the priory in August. It’s hard for both of us, and he’s planning to find me again if he ends up coming back after that year. I want to know if anyone knows of a situation in which a couple broke up for one to discern the religious life, and then they ended up getting back together…

Any thoughts or similar experiences?

He has to try–has to be faithful to grace.

He can always be a Lay Dominican if his place isn’t in the priory. He’s not supposed to be in there with a divided heart.

The truth (pun not intended) will come out. Like I said, he has to be faithful to grace, and I know you don’t want him saying, “I wonder what the priory would have been like,” if you two got married.

I was never given the chance to try my vocation in the monastery, and have tried not be be embittered about it (familial pressure). Please try to see it from his point of view.

HTH.

Blessings,
Cloisters

 

[water]

I have two stories to share with you. It involves some friends of mine.

A good friend of mine discerned her vocation. She was accepted to one of orders. After being there for awhile, she knew it wasn’t her vocation. She came out again and dated her boyfriend and later married. They grow old together and very good and holy couple.

I also know another friend whose boyfriend had to break up with her to discern Diocesan priesthood. It was hard for her and it took her sometime to get over it. After 7 years, he will soon become a priest. More beautifully, she is currently discerning her religious vocation as well.

Personally, I am going through the same thing. I am guy and was in a very long relationship. The call to religious life has not escaped my mind in the last 2 years. I finally told my then-girlfriend that I needed to discern and the only to do that is to end the relationship. It does not mean we end our friendship. Furthermore, getting to know her also helps me a lot for who I am today. God has brought her into my life for a reason and now He might have different plans for each one of us - but it is all down to one same goal - to love Him, to serve Him for His Glory, and to praise Him.

For you, I could understand what you are going through. It might be very hurtful and you might even ask why God is doing this to you. Please keep praying, God loves you both and if He truly calls your b/f to offer his whole heart to Him, God will have another great plan for you as well and He will be very pleased about you offer up this relationship for His sake.

If one truly loves someone, one should want the best for that person and pray that s/he will do God’s will. Please hang on to God and keep praying. Going to Eucharistic Adoration will give you more peace and in the future, God also helps you see your own vocation. Be perservarance!

If you haven’t got a Spiritual Director (S.D.), you should talk to your local parish priest, he will find you one - The S.D. will help you with your faith journey as well.

I keep you both in my prayer.