Joe - I also couldn’t imagine being with someone who wasn’t Catholic at this point in my life!I saw the thread title and had to reply.
Yes, I am definitely married to my opposite! I am very easy going, she is prone to worry. She likes to plan. I like to procrastinate. I like heavy metal music, she likes everything except heavy metal music. I like silly humor (like “The Simpsons” or “Naked Gun”) and she thinks it’s stupid (though she is coming around on that!).
But we agree on all the important stuff. We believe in Jesus and that the Catholic Church is the one true Church. I don’t see how I could have married anyone who did not share those views with me. Everything else just makes life a little more interesting.
Thanks for your insights. I am glad to hear you don’t regret marrying, and you are committed to work it out.
If you want it to be easier now, then you will really struggle when married for many years. The stresses of life are many and have a way of accentuating our differences. How is your level of respect between the 2 of you as far as your differences? If you do not have a high level of respect for each other now when you are just dating, then that could be a problem later on. I find that over the years our respect has eroded for our different ways of dealing with things. We are slowly building up respect for each other again, but it is one step forward 2 steps backward type of thing. We have been reacting to each other lately instead of responding to each other. God is faithful though and He is healing our relationship. It is easy to let selfishness creep into our lives and erode our relationship.Thanks for your insights. I am glad to hear you don’t regret marrying, and you are committed to work it out.
I guess I am still trying to figure out if this is God’s will for me, ya know? Even as a young person, I tend to prefer the company of those similar to me, so it’s been tough at times dating someone where I feel the two world’s don’t always meld well. We had a rough evening last night where we both were just on two different planets. I will say that me and my boyfriend are not perfect opposites. We do have similarities. But…to sum it up, I am a philosophical girl who’s head seems permanently stuck in the clouds and he is a concrete, practical guy who’s feet seem permanently glued to the ground. We believe the same things but often arrive at those beliefs coming from different paths, and express those beliefs differently (like I would rather have a deep theological discussion - that “fills my tank” and helps me grow - whereas he would rather spend time in the silence of Adoration. Or just doing something fun).
Sometimes, I just want it to be easier.
That’s my wife and I to a T! She helps save me from being stuck by my being too concrete and practical and I help pull her back to earth from the clouds. We’re a good balance. Early in our marriage I think it was a bit frustrating for me (and I’m sure for her too), but now I see that our differences are a blessing on our marriage. She’s the salt to my pepper. Doesn’t mean there aren’t days when I wish she could be more practical. I’m sure she’d say likewise about me. But it works!
Really? I have never met another couple quite like this! It has definitely been a source of frustration for us at times. We both have great affection for the other, but gosh…sometimes I just long for lengthy, deep, philosophical discussions! And I know he wonders where my head is when I do things like lose my debit card or lose track of time! Thing is, when I’ve dated men more like myself, it seems like disaster waiting to happen…I mean talk about a struggle to live in reality!That’s my wife and I to a T! She helps save me from being stuck by my being too concrete and practical and I help pull her back to earth from the clouds. We’re a good balance. Early in our marriage I think it was a bit frustrating for me (and I’m sure for her too), but now I see that our differences are a blessing on our marriage. She’s the salt to my pepper. Doesn’t mean there aren’t days when I wish she could be more practical. I’m sure she’d say likewise about me. But it works!
Thanks - you are articulating some of our fears, I think. I am seeking counsel, but also just wanted to hear from other Catholics out who are living out marriages that deal with being opposites. One struggle is that, I think more than ever, my generation has fairy-tale expectations of marriage. So I’m trying to get a glimpse of what a truly godly marriage would look like.
Thanks.
The website looks great, and I’d love to do the FOCUS inventory with marriage mentors. I know each couple is different - some marry very similar spouses, and others do not. It’s great to have guidance from those who have “been there.”