Married woman seeking a Third Order near me

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twin2004

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I am a happily married woman with a 3 year old and one on the way. I’m 32, but when I was in my 20’s, was seriously discerning a vocation to religious life. Obviously I chose to marry my best friend, but even though I’m happy being a wife and mother, I still desire more. I know there is a lay Dominican order near me, but I tried them about 2 years ago, and found they weren’t what I desired. How can I find out what else is near me? I live in South Charlotte, which is still North Carolina, but close to South Carolina as well. I can’t really travel much at this point being pregnant, as well as being a semi-stay-at-home mom and working to pay off my student loans and soon to be medical bills, so I want to see what else is closest to me first. How do I go about this?
 
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I kind of think you’re going about this backwards. A Third Order isn’t a club where you join the closest one. The ideal seems to me that you are attracted to a certain spirituality and that’s where you go. If you are attracted to the Benedictines, then it wouldn’t make sense to join the Secular Franciscans just because they happen to be nearby.

Is there an order or a spirituality that particularly appeals to you? What order were you discerning with?
 
Belmont Abbey is a Benedictine monastery in that neck of the woods. They have oblates associated with them. I’d imagine there is a Secular Franciscan group near there too since it’s a metropolitan area with a growing Catholic population.

What’s your hesitation with the lay Dominicans?
 
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SuscipeMeDomine said:
A Third Order isn’t a club where you join the closest one.
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I think you are misreading her intent. Many third orders require regular or somewhat regular attendance at chapter meetings. It is important to be within traveling distance of your community.
 
Call 1-800-FRANCIS (and no, this is not a joke)

You may also be interested in confraternities. Please have a look, there are several:
  1. Angelic Warfare Confraternity
  2. Confraternity of the Brown Scapular
Etc…
 
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mrsdizzyd said:
I think you are misreading her intent. Many third orders require regular or somewhat regular attendance at chapter meetings. It is important to be within traveling distance of your community.
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But first it has to be the right community.

It’s a two-hour drive to the monastery where I’m an oblate while there are Secular Franciscans a couple miles away. But since I don’t called by Franciscan spirituality and I do feel called by the Benedictines, it’s worth the drive.

In large part it depends on what someone is looking for. A prayer group in the local parish might be just the thing if the OP is looking for spiritual support in general rather than becoming part of an order.
 
Talk to your Diocese Vocations Office. They will be happy to help!!
 
Sure this isn’t hormonal? Seems like you’ve got a lot on your plate right now. Concentrate on Daily Duty. Check out the Apostolate of Holy Motherhood.

As I’ve said before, life events will often reveal the Lord’s will. We just have to be open to receive.

You’re in South Charlotte. The Oratorians are across the state line from you. They are unvowed, and have only a great love for God and humanity. That sounds more like what you need right now. St Philip Neri and Father Faber were Oratorians.

Blessings,
Mrs Cloisters OP
Lay Dominican
http://cloisters.tripod.com/
http://cloisters.tripod.com/charity/
http://cloisters.tripod.com/holyangels/id9.html/
 
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I enjoy being a part of the Daughters of Mary. You could start your own group. It is a prayer group devoted to contemplation of the Sunday Gospel reading and Fr Anthony Wieck is the Spiritual director. It is amazing how God opens the Word of God to these ladies when attending the meetings.http://thedaughtersofmary.org/reflections/
 
The Secular Carmelites may be a good option if you are drawn toward a more contemplative type of prayer. I’m in the Raleigh community and have had some contact with the group in Charlotte and they are wonderful.

However, there are pretty strict requirements on monthly attendance at meetings and formation classes.

The best way to find out is to contact their director of formation and ask. She is the one who will have to approve your attendance at meetings as a visitor.
 
This is my intent, to first explore the orders around me and maybe find out where I fit. I can’t really explain why the dominicans weren’t for me. It might’ve been that I am drawn more to a contemplative order than an active one. All I know is I’ve been called to a religious lifestyle for almost 16 years. I’ve felt the push towards a deeper relationship with God, even after I got married and as I’ve had my children. Maybe some of it is my emotions and feelings right now, but I’ve been nudged in this direction for far longer than I’ve been married, so I don’t think it’s the major factor. I just haven’t really known where to start. I’ll contact the vocations directors in the diocese of charlotte and the diocese of Charleston. maybe that is my first step. Thank you everyone for your (name removed by moderator)ut. 🙂
 
I know Belmont Abbey well. I went to Western Carolina, and our campus ministry spent many retreats and the like there. Maybe I can start by contacting one of the priests I know there.
 
I have to suggest you blend the opinions of a few of the posters here and strongly consider your preferences and reasons for being drawn to a third order. Is it for your own spiritual journey internally or are you seeking community? I find myself drawn to spiritualities where there’s not an active presence nearby, so a third order doesn’t make sense in terms of trying to build a relationship with others; there are other active groups in the area, but I don’t share their particular charisms, so it doesn’t make sense to join them, either. In the end, I’m left “blazing my own trail”, so to speak. Praying that you find what works for you.
 
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