Marrying a non-Catholic

[Dredgemate]

Sorry, Marty, I think the Monsignor gave you and your wife some bad information. According to the Code of Canon Law in regards to granting the Sacrament of Marriqage to a mixed religious marriage (one Catholic, one not Catholic):

Can. 1125 The local ordinary can grant a permission of this kind if there is a just and reasonable cause. He is not to grant it unless the following conditions have been fulfilled:

1/ the Catholic party is to declare that he or she is prepared to remove dangers of defecting from the faith and is to make a sincere promise to do all in his or her power so that all offspring are baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church;

2/ the other party is to be informed at an appropriate time about the promises which the Catholic party is to make, in such a way that it is certain that he or she is truly aware of the promise and obligation of the Catholic party;

3/ both parties are to be instructed about the purposes and essential properties of marriage which neither of the contracting parties is to exclude.

I’m not sure where the Monsignor got his information, but the Canon is pretty clear about this.

 

[mmurphy]

The last thread hit it on the head. i’m in the same situation, and i must say, that to follow canon law, is the only way in which you will truly be happy. my fiance and I are in the middle of trying to work this out. It may or may not work, but i will not deny my faith or my church for the sake of marriage - marriage is too precious of a sacrament i am realizing!!!

 

[Lisa_B]

I am married(civil union only) and have two daughters with a muslim man. I’ve been with him 13 years, I love him with all my heart, but DO NOT marry out of your faith. I say this knowing that my two beautiful girls come from this, but now I have to fight to even take them to church with me, and my heart aches because they are still not baptized…Lord have mercy on them.

 

[lovemybatman]

What if God chooses non-Catholic mates for some people so that those mates will convert later on, and what if God is bothered when Catholics choose other Catholic mates over ones they loved equally or more and possibly could have converted? Wouldn’t God hold you responsible for this unconverted person?

 

[Uncle_Norbert]

What if God chooses non-Catholic mates for some people so that those mates will convert later on, and what if God is bothered when Catholics choose other Catholic mates over ones they loved equally or more and possibly could have converted? Wouldn’t God hold you responsible for this unconverted person?

Marriage is a Sacremental union between a man and a woman. It isn’t an evangelical tactic. My Dad dated a Lutheran, but then ended it when it became “serious”. This was back in the 50’s. He then dated and married my Mom, who is a convert, but did so before their marriage.

My wife was raised Baptist, but hadn’t attended church regularly since she was 10…yet was a fine, virtous girl. She converted about 2 years after we married, under no pressure from me. I attended RCIA with her, at her request…She LIKES the ritual and tradition of the Church, as opposed to “getting yelled at every Sunday”.

 

[lovemybatman]

Marriage is a Sacremental union between a man and a woman. It isn’t an evangelical tactic.

I agree But I am not sure if you mean that it would be wrong to do this or not. Would marrying a non-Catholic with hopes of their conversion be a bad thing, when you could have married a Catholic?

 

[choy]

1 Corinthians 7

10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
**
12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.**

15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

A year ago I married a non practicing Protestant. We got married in the Catholic church and he knows that raising children as Catholics is not negotiable. He is very supportive of all my church activities, I talk to him about my faith all the time and he sometimes goes to Mass with me. But I have to say that it still not enough. I am not completely happy because he doesn’t share my faith and worry what raising children in faith will be like. I feel guilty about feeling this way because he is a wonderful man and we are happy together.

For that reason I would advise people to think very hard about marrying a non Catholic. It is not easy. Stories of conversion give me much comfort and hope. I pray for him every day.

 

[milimac]

1 Corinthians 7

10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
**
12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.**

15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

choy, this quote seems to be addressed to those who are already married. I wonder what St. Paul would say to those considering marriage to an unbeliever.

 

[prochrist1]

I will be marrying a RC in nov… my fiances is RC her entire family is RC lol wish me luck eh ?

anyway she’s your average catholic, goes to church every sunday, does the rituals, etc…
I feel she has no choice her mom basically picks her up every sunday “to go” to mass I mean she cannot say no to her mom its simple as that.

Her mom is calling the shots and she’s pretty much demanded we get married in a RCC I love my fiance very much that is why I’ve granted her that wish, I’ve done the marriage prep in the RC as well

and last week we met with the priest and he basically made me sign a form saying that our children will have to be raised catholic and I said to him our children will decide what religion to take and that they will be raised mix religion (I’m SDA) I think he wasn’t to pleased about it.

does anyone have any experiences with this topic?

 

[4Squarebaby]

I will be marrying a RC in nov… my fiances is RC her entire family is RC lol wish me luck eh ?

anyway she’s your average catholic, goes to church every sunday, does the rituals, etc…
I feel she has no choice her mom basically picks her up every sunday “to go” to mass I mean she cannot say no to her mom its simple as that.

Her mom is calling the shots and she’s pretty much demanded we get married in a RCC I love my fiance very much that is why I’ve granted her that wish, I’ve done the marriage prep in the RC as well

and last week we met with the priest and he basically made me sign a form saying that our children will have to be raised catholic and I said to him our children will decide what religion to take and that they will be raised mix religion (I’m SDA) I think he wasn’t to pleased about it.

does anyone have any experiences with this topic?

Did the form say the children will be raised Catholic or that your fiance will do her best to see that any children will be raised Catholic?

 

[prochrist1]

Did the form say the children will be raised Catholic or that your fiance will do her best to see that any children will be raised Catholic?

it said that I must raise my kids in the CC it was a check mark on a form and I had to sign it

 

[4Squarebaby]

it said that I must raise my kids in the CC it was a check mark on a form and I had to sign it

I’ve heard others in our position say the Priest said that. I am sure the board will come on to tell you the official position is that you are informed that the Catholic must do their best to see that children are baptized and raised Catholic. We were in our late 40s so the children issue is not a pressing one. And although her entire family were “cradle Catholics” I have yet to find a family member married in the church besides her older brother who converted years before and married in his new church.