Marrying in a church if me and my partner marry in civil ceremony first

[butterflyheart]

Hi Everyone,

My case is quite a complicated one so need your advice and prayers please =)

My partner is a non British national (I am British) and his visa is due to expire. We are engaged but as I am also Asian - our culture says we must wait a year before we can marry.

We are looking to get married at a registrars in a legal civil ceremony so we can get the spousal visa application sent off asap. And then do a catholic church ceremony 6 months to a year afterwards.

My family would be very upset as they are very religious if we did not do the whole wedding in the church.

So after the civil ceremony we have to have some sort of ceremony in the church.

My questions are:
(1) will the church recognise the civil ceremony and can we still have the full wedding ceremony in the church

(2) since we are already legally binding and husband and wife - what part of teh wedding ceremony will be omitted and will my family notice? i.e. I want to cause as little hurt to them as possible…i know this will be seen as lying, but in my eyes the legal ceremony in teh registrars is just a piece of paper for the visa and that the real wedding will be in the church

(3) what is a blessing in a church? Is it the same as a wedding but without the signing of the registrar?

Pls can someone advise? Many thanks

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Hi Everyone,

My case is quite a complicated one so need your advice and prayers please =)

My partner is a non British national (I am British) and his visa is due to expire. We are engaged but as I am also Asian - our culture says we must wait a year before we can marry.

We are looking to get married at a registrars in a legal civil ceremony so we can get the spousal visa application sent off asap. And then do a catholic church ceremony 6 months to a year afterwards.

My family would be very upset as they are very religious if we did not do the whole wedding in the church.

So after the civil ceremony we have to have some sort of ceremony in the church.

My questions are:
(1) will the church recognise the civil ceremony and can we still have the full wedding ceremony in the church

(2) since we are already legally binding and husband and wife - what part of teh wedding ceremony will be omitted and will my family notice? i.e. I want to cause as little hurt to them as possible…i know this will be seen as lying, but in my eyes the legal ceremony in teh registrars is just a piece of paper for the visa and that the real wedding will be in the church

(3) what is a blessing in a church? Is it the same as a wedding but without the signing of the registrar?

Pls can someone advise? Many thanks

You need to speak with your pastor.

A few personal comments:

(1) will the church recognise the civil ceremony and can we still have the full wedding ceremony in the church

No the Church will not recognize the civil ceremony, you must Marry in the Church.

(2) since we are already legally binding and husband and wife - what part of teh wedding ceremony will be omitted and will my family notice? i.e. I want to cause as little hurt to them as possible…i know this will be seen as lying, but in my eyes the legal ceremony in teh registrars is just a piece of paper for the visa and that the real wedding will be in the church

No part of the ceremony (Rite of Marriage) would be omitted. It is lying if you do not tell them the truth if asked. It is just a legal ceremony, as far as the Church is concerned you are not husband and wife and should not live as if you were (do not live together or have a sexual relationship) until after the Rite of Marriage is celebrated.

(3) what is a blessing in a church? Is it the same as a wedding but without the signing of the registrar?

It is the wedding, the Marriage takes place at that time as far as the Church is concerned.

 

[1ke]

Go talk to your priest. You need to do the right thing even if it takes longer and is more complex.

Marrying invalidly, lying to the family, and trying to get around Church law and your responsibilities is NOT the way to go about getting married properly.

Go see your priest first and discuss marriage preparation. If you have to wait longer because of British law regarding emmigration, so be it.

Start out your marriage RIGHT, not in sin.

 

[peregrinus_sg]

If I’m not wrong, British law mandates certain formalities in the solemnisation of marriage, and that these requirements of law are also found in the Catholic rite of marriage used in England and Wales. Canonically, the Church does not recognise the civil ceremony if any one of the partner is Catholic. However, if you have a civil ceremony first and then have a Catholic wedding service, you might be married “twice” in civil law… not sure if that’s a problem from the civil law’s point of view.

Check with you pastor. He would be able to advise you correctly.

 

[FastLearner]

The Vatican recommends that non-Italians first civilly marry in their home country before their marriage (an actual marriage ceremony with no portion omitted) in St. Peter’s Basilica. The warning, though, is that while you may be civilly married before arriving in the Vatican, you are not to act as man and wife (i.e. have relations) until after the marriage ceremony in St. Peter’s, because you are not married in the eyes of the Church. I would assume the same thing applies here.

You’ll want to check with your local pastor, though. As peregrinus_sg points out, there may be some legality that you have to work through. For example, in some states in the US, it is illegal to hold a wedding ceremony without a marriage license (which you can’t get if you’re already civilly married).

Marrying invalidly, lying to the family, and trying to get around Church law and your responsibilities is NOT the way to go about getting married properly.

That’s the thing - she’s not trying to get around Church law. She’s trying to work around British nationality law.