Marrying someone who wasn't confirmed?

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blackwidow

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How often does this happen and why would this be allowed, caused great deal of ignorance regarding the faith.
 
It happens a lot. My wife married someone who wasn’t confirmed (me) in 1970. At the time, I had been baptised in the pentecostal denomination of my chldhood, but I was living as a small-p pagan.

Or were you speaking specifically of someone who had been raised in the Catholic faith, but had never been confirmed?

DaveBj
 
blackwidow said:
How often does this happen and why would this be allowed, caused great deal of ignorance regarding the faith.
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I’m seeing it more and more these days. As we have no Catholic schools, when I look at our parish register I realize that many of the children who were baptized in the mid 80s might have received their First Communion but a certain number did not return for Confirmation.

When they present for marriage, our pastor seems to interpret “If they can do so without serious inconvenience, Catholics who have not yet received the sacrament of Confirmation are to receive it before being admitted to Marriage” (Code of Canon Law, canon 1065) as “If they would need to do more than the marriage preparation course, it’s serious inconvenience.”
 
blackwidow said:
How often does this happen and why would this be allowed, caused great deal of ignorance regarding the faith.
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canon law requires a Catholic to be confirmed before being married. whether or not pastors and bishops enforce this is the matter. It can be waived in case of need–military deployment etc in which the marriage must be moved up–but with the expectation the sacrament will be received as soon as possible.

Confirmation by itself does not insure solid knowledge of Catholic doctrine and practice but it sure could help. In my observation over many years, the adults who do prepare for confirmation at the same time they are preparing for marriage have a much greater appreciation for the sacrament of marriage, and state they have a much better foundation for starting a Catholic family.
 
Would this be grounds for an annulment since both parties were not prepared for marriage sacrament, let alone both have not followed their faith or practiced it prior, only one being confirmed.
 
blackwidow said:
Would this be grounds for an annulment since both parties were not prepared for marriage sacrament, let alone both have not followed their faith or practiced it prior, only one being confirmed.
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It seems to have strong potential in that direction.

Obviously it would be up to the Tribunal, if and when they are brought into the discussion, to determine, but it would be worth mentioning, for sure, if you were to seek out a Declaration of Nullity.
 
Thank you. I need to speak to a priest. Feeling very lost right now in my life and with my faith.
 
Confirmation then is where you need to be, you are on the right track. Can’t find your way w/o a map, and can’t get their w/o a guide–that is the Holy Spirit.
 
blackwidow said:
Would this be grounds for an annulment since both parties were not prepared for marriage sacrament, let alone both have not followed their faith or practiced it prior, only one being confirmed.
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not necessarily, assuming the priest addressed the issue during their marriage preparation and otherwise the conditions required for a valid marriage were present. But outright refusal to be confirmed should raise grave doubts in the mind of the priest about the individual’s intent to commit to the Catholic way of life, especially to the demands of Catholic marriage.
 
I’m in big trouble regarding my faith and I want my faith. The priest never explained one thing to me about this. But it was 20 years ago but I am sure I would have remembered something. I took the marriage weekend course but that also was not done correctly just quick to satisfy the requirements. Its horrible what I have discovered about my life this past month. I didn’t realize I am now to remain chaste and single for the rest of my life and I can’t do that. I want to share my life with someone and deserve a chance. How could I have been so ignorant and immature. I did all my sacraments but never attended church nor did my family. I did it on my own with my friends. I need to learn so much I feel like I was hit by a truck understanding this.

I didn’t realize anything or even have a clue about what a catholic marriage entailed, I was totally ignorant. Till my marriage fell apart and realized I am raising my boys in the catholic faith.
 
strange as it sounds now, you may very well look back on this time as one of extraordinary grace, as it leads you to reconcile with the Church, learn more about the beliefs and practices–and the reasons for them–and most of all leads you to bring up your children in a stronger faith. God bless you and we are all praying for you. If those who had a duty toward you to raise you in the faith, to help you prepare properly for the other sacraments and marriage, but they failed in carrying out their duty, the sin devolves on them, not you, because they should have known better.
 
I sure hope I look back one day and feel way better than I do now. It seems I was made to be catholic but not taught how or what was expected. I am a pretend catholic it seems. I have 2 boys to raise in this faith and I need guidance and knowledge no doubt.

Firstly, though I have to believe that I am in some kind of lesson here first with having a failed marriage that should never have been well before the marriage. This is my fault because I met this man at the age of 17 and was intimate felt I needed to stay for the rest of my life never learning what love truly was or what my position should be in it.
 
blackwidow said:
How often does this happen and why would this be allowed, caused great deal of ignorance regarding the faith.
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I nor my wife were confirmed at that time I was a convert (guess I still am 🙂 ) and I wasn’t sure the Catholic Church was the one. My wife doesn’t know why she didn’t she is a cradle Catholic.

We were married by my friend from the AOG church and six months later got married in the Church for my mother in law. A couple of years later we were both Confirmed after I came back to the Church.

That is a brief summary, I still struggle and just returned to the Church recently again.
 
Also, its my duty now to raise my boys correctly or else I will be a failure too with it. People take on responsiblilities like becoming parents and baptizing their children and taking on the responsibility of a god parent and they don’t follow through. Its a farse what we do until it hits smack in the face. Something has hit me so bad this past month I need prayers thats for sure. I am the bottom and I am asking for God to step in and tell me what to do or fix me.
 
funny, thought so but thought I better check. I guess I am a cradle catholic but still not a very good one, born into the faith with no guidance or knowledge…can’t blame everyone else, time to take some serious ownership here with my life!!
 
blackwidow said:
funny, thought so but thought I better check. I guess I am a cradle catholic but still not a very good one, born into the faith with no guidance or knowledge…can’t blame everyone else, time to take some serious ownership here with my life!!
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You’re in my prayers!
 
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