Marrying someone with a child in the Church

[sac7299]

I am a Catholic. My girlfriend is a non-Catholic. Neither of us has been married before but she has a child from a previous relationship. Is it possible for us to be married in the Church? If so, what requirements would have to be fulfilled first? Obviously, her converting to Catholicism would help but does the fact that she has a child out of wedlock inhibit us from being married in the Church?

 

[StephenB]

I am a Catholic. My girlfriend is a non-Catholic. Neither of us has been married before but she has a child from a previous relationship. Is it possible for us to be married in the Church? If so, what requirements would have to be fulfilled first? Obviously, her converting to Catholicism would help but does the fact that she has a child out of wedlock inhibit us from being married in the Church?

The child is not an issue. With dispensation for lack of form (or whatever the the term is ) you are free to marry.

THAT said - your girlfriend and you need to examine a couple of things very carefully - and do NOT look for shortcuts: Is she converting to be Catholic like you, or is there a real desire? She needs to examine this, maybe while you take part in pre-cana. Take the 6 month route on the Pre-cana, not the easy way out that you can read about in so many places in these Forums. This will be a great discernment time for you both about the depth of commitment. If you are not attending at least weekly mass together - start - it will provide an excellent background for you to develop your faith as a couple.
God bless and good luck.

 

[PhilotheaZ]

No, that should not be an obstacle. In fact, it seems to me that it would be a beautiful act of love to become a good father figure to her child. (Of course, I don’t know the extent of the natural father’s involvement with the child.)

Usually when a Catholic marries a non-Catholic, the Catholic spouse is expected to promise to do his or her best to raise their children Catholic. I’m not sure what the Church’s expectation would be regarding a child already born to a non-Catholic parent. Have you and your girlfriend discussed the possibility of raising her child Catholic? That’s something you need to work out before the wedding. You might want to talk to your pastor about it.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I am a Catholic. My girlfriend is a non-Catholic. Neither of us has been married before but she has a child from a previous relationship. Is it possible for us to be married in the Church? If so, what requirements would have to be fulfilled first? Obviously, her converting to Catholicism would help but does the fact that she has a child out of wedlock inhibit us from being married in the Church?

That fact by itself would not. Provided you both are free and capable of Marriage and have met the Churches Marriage preparation requirements.
.

 

[1ke]

I am a Catholic. My girlfriend is a non-Catholic. Neither of us has been married before but she has a child from a previous relationship. Is it possible for us to be married in the Church? If so, what requirements would have to be fulfilled first? Obviously, her converting to Catholicism would help but does the fact that she has a child out of wedlock inhibit us from being married in the Church?

No, this is not an impediment. Make an appointment to talk to your priest and discuss the situation, ask for his guidance. Marrying a non-Catholic has serious issues that go along with it-- such as the raising of the children in the faith. I encourage you to think long and hard about this before proceeding.

 

[puzzleannie]

I am a Catholic. My girlfriend is a non-Catholic. Neither of us has been married before but she has a child from a previous relationship. Is it possible for us to be married in the Church? If so, what requirements would have to be fulfilled first? Obviously, her converting to Catholicism would help but does the fact that she has a child out of wedlock inhibit us from being married in the Church?

she does not have to convert before marriage, and her having a child is not an impediment by itself. If the child is the product of a previous marriage, including common law in some instances, that of course has to be resolved before the Catholic party can consider himself engaged to her.

 

[stbruno]

The church uses a form of marriage prep that talks about bringing children into a marriage…it is called a FOCCUS inventory. It opens up discussion about how you would discipline, teach, catechize a child etc.

Also you become an instant step-parent…and you may need some help with that issue completely. The US Catholic bishops have just launched a wonderful website…perhaps you will find this helpful. explore the whole website as well.

foryourmarriage.org/interior_template.asp?id=20398725

 

[MusicMan]

If the OP marries this woman and she does not convert to Catholicism, does he have any duty to try to raise his step-child in the Church? Or is it only his own biological children that he has the duty to raise in the Church?

 

[stbruno]

Depends on the age of the child. If the child is over the age of reason 7, they would have to go for catechesis before joining the church…and at that point the child would be involved in the discussion I am sure. And of course, with them getting married sacramentally, and they have biological children, the Catholic spouse would be expected to do everything to raise the child Catholic. The non-Catholic spouse should be made aware of those vows, but is not expected to sign a document likewise.

In all mixed marriages, permission for a mixed marriage must be requested. The parish priest will assist in this simple procedure. To obtain permission, the Catholic party will be asked to affirm in some way (verbally or in writing) that he or she will do all in his/her power to see that the children of the marriage are baptized and educated in the Catholic faith. The other partner is to be informed of these promises and responsibilities; the non-Catholic partner may feel a similar obligation because of his/her own Christian commitment. No formal written or oral promise is required of the non-Catholic partner. In carrying out this duty of transmitting the Catholic faith to the children, the Catholic parent will do so with respect for the religious freedom and conscience of the other parent and with due regard for the unity and permanence of the marriage and for the maintenance of the communion of the family. It is important that during the marriage preparation, both partners together discuss the Catholic baptism and education of the children they will have, and, where possible, come to a decision on this question before marriage (The Ecumenical Directory, 150).