Marrying young?

[runningdude]

…
He’s working towards a degree in Engineering, and also as I said before, is considering entering the Military. With all this mine, if this were to happen, I would probably be married by the time I was 22. There is no Church teaching of “marrying too young” so I defer to the wisdom of those older and wiser than me. Thoughts? Again obviously, this wont be happening for a very long time, but it is something I often wonder about, and its something we talk about, and I’d like to hear other opinions.

Sorry if this is all kind of jumbled, I just kind of typed it off the top of my head. Also its very long, I just realized.

My only advice is to not marry until one or both of you are financially able to take care of the children. If observe the Church’s moral condemnation of contraception, then children are a very real possibility early in your marriage.

Once you are gainfully and securely employed, there is really no barrier to marriage.

 

[catybug]

Thanks for all the advice everyone! Again, this was just something thats been on my mind recently. Previously, I never really thought I would get married young, because of some of the stigma thats been attached to it, and also because I didn’t think i’d be in that serious of a relationship. This still isn’t until at least a few years future though, as for one I’m going on this missionary trip, and for another neither one of us really have the job to support a family right now, and I definatley see the wisdom in that. We have been talking allot about “one day”’ recently, and its just something that’s been on my mind recently. reading all this, and talking with him about this stuff too has helped bring my head out of the clouds a bit.Thanks so much for all the advice encouragement, and testimonies.

Also one last note, I have little problems with all our differences, its actually a big part of what I like about him and why I feel we’re so good for each other. I can be a little idealistic and a dreamer, and he’s very practical and keeps me grounded. We balance each other out =)

 

[PaulGH]

Just my two cents, but I wouldn’t put so much weight on being financially ready. The fact is that as adults, you will each have to support yourselves financially, even if you are single. By living together in marriage, you actually can save some money versus being single, by having just one set of utility bills, one monthly rent payment, one set of furniture, shared household appliances, and so on. Of course children add some expenses, but if you homeschool or do public school, and if you don’t go in for expenses like buying each of them a smartphone or a tablet at a young age, then children may not cost as much as many people think. (By the way, I don’t recommend public school, but I’m just saying that if that is the option you plan to choose, it doesn’t cost much.)

The key though is that if you look at it as “Once we are married, we will have to have a nice house, and a nice car, and nice appliances, and nice furniture…”, then getting married certainly won’t save you any money. But if you both are willing to live frugally at the beginning of your marriage, when you are still starting to establish yourselves financially, I do think you can actually save some money overall.

But having said all that, I’m not recommending that you get married just to save money – obviously you should get married when you are ready to get married for the right reasons. If you do save any money by getting married, it will just be an added bonus.

And of course I’m especially not recommending that you live together before marriage in order to save money! (Not that you would, but some couples do cite that as a reason for living together.)

 

[PaulGH]

Actually, I have to backtrack a bit from what I said in previous post. I overlooked the obvious fact that with children, someone has to care for them. So if the mom stays home with the kids, then the couple loses her income. Or if the kids are put in daycare or with a babysitter, then that is an additional (and quite significant) cost. So that definitely is a major expense (or loss of income) that comes with raising children. But if a young couple’s plan is to get married now, and to use NFP for a year or two until they are more financially secure, then marriage at a young age without great finances still might be a good option.

 

[kozlosap]

I think that things will be much clearer for you after your year spent as a missionary! This year will be such a learning time for you, both about your faith and about what you want the rest of your life to be! The only one of my daughter’s friends who married young and without at least a BA degree is LDS. I think that everyone is different, but in this day and age, especially for a woman, a degree or vocational training is very important in case you find yourself divorced with children to support.

 

[camillebru]

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