M
Mintaka
Guest
People seem to have the basics here, but let me clear up the wording.
Jewish people who got married, then and now, were joined by their oral or written marriage contract before the marriage ceremony took place. Once both families and both parties had agreed on the terms, and had set a date for the marriage (often in the contract), the parties were “betrothed” from our standpoint, and would not live together or have sex (unless they were sinners) until after the marriage ceremony.
But in other ways, they were “espoused” already – they had rights to each other’s stuff and so on, according to what the contract said.
And so, if one of them wanted to back out of the contract, the only way to do it was to go through the same processes as for a Jewish divorce of married persons.
(Well, actually, there’s another way – leave the other party waiting at the marriage canopy. If you don’t get completely married by the date on the contract, the contract is void. (At least, these days. Apparently written marriage contracts only showed up in late Roman times.) But there are other penalties that ensue, and it’s a big scandal, even if it happens by mistake. I went to a Jewish wedding once, and panic ensued when the pre-wedding festivities went long, and the sun started to go down and end the day. There were some very fast wedding chants by the cantor, at some points, until they made up the time.)
A lot of times nowadays, and in medieval times too, the whole legal situation was simplified by having the betrothal and contract signing take place about three seconds before the marriage ceremony. (Similar things happened in most medieval Christian weddings, such as in the Sarum Rite where the bride and groom got engaged and exchanged gifts in a side room or the vestibule, and then went to get married up by the altar.)
Jewish people who got married, then and now, were joined by their oral or written marriage contract before the marriage ceremony took place. Once both families and both parties had agreed on the terms, and had set a date for the marriage (often in the contract), the parties were “betrothed” from our standpoint, and would not live together or have sex (unless they were sinners) until after the marriage ceremony.
But in other ways, they were “espoused” already – they had rights to each other’s stuff and so on, according to what the contract said.
And so, if one of them wanted to back out of the contract, the only way to do it was to go through the same processes as for a Jewish divorce of married persons.
(Well, actually, there’s another way – leave the other party waiting at the marriage canopy. If you don’t get completely married by the date on the contract, the contract is void. (At least, these days. Apparently written marriage contracts only showed up in late Roman times.) But there are other penalties that ensue, and it’s a big scandal, even if it happens by mistake. I went to a Jewish wedding once, and panic ensued when the pre-wedding festivities went long, and the sun started to go down and end the day. There were some very fast wedding chants by the cantor, at some points, until they made up the time.)
A lot of times nowadays, and in medieval times too, the whole legal situation was simplified by having the betrothal and contract signing take place about three seconds before the marriage ceremony. (Similar things happened in most medieval Christian weddings, such as in the Sarum Rite where the bride and groom got engaged and exchanged gifts in a side room or the vestibule, and then went to get married up by the altar.)
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