Mary & Joseph Marriage?

[jcsmid7]

My patron Saint is Joesph so I have looked at him a great deal. It is with all due respect I ask this question. Mary is call the spouse of the Holy Spirit. Yet Joseph is also called her spouse. Here is the question. If marriage is one man one woman that maintain conjugal relationship. How could Joseph and Mary be married and her maintain her virginity ? Wile I understand they were engaged that is not the same has marriage? Please help me untie this knot in my head.

 

[bzkoss236]

My patron Saint is Joesph so I have looked at him a great deal. It is with all due respect I ask this question. Mary is call the spouse of the Holy Spirit. Yet Joseph is also called her spouse. Here is the question. If marriage is one man one woman that maintain conjugal relationship. How could Joseph and Mary be married and her maintain her virginity ? Wile I understand they were engaged that is not the same has marriage? Please help me untie this knot in my head.

Well, first, you do not need to have sex to be validly married. On a couple’s wedding day, they are married immediately following the ceremony, and at the reception as well. Just because they haven’t had sex yet doesn’t mean that they are not married. Further to the point, the couple does not need to have sex at all in their marriage (called a “Josephite marriage”, and I bet you can figure out why). Joseph was Mary’s earthly spouse, put in place to protect her and help raise Jesus. This was his role.

 

[jcsmid7]

I have always understood that the vows were only part of the marriage that a couple must consummate to be validly married. That not with standing a marriage with out any possibility of children because of ones actions would be sin and outside the teachings of the Church. That’s where I get hung up. If they were only engaged and stayed chaste then fine but that is not marriage. Unless your looking at from the stand point of betrothed, but still not the same. I am running in a circle here sorry.

 

[bzkoss236]

I have always understood that the vows were only part of the marriage that a couple must consummate to be validly married. That not with standing a marriage with out any possibility of children because of ones actions would be sin and outside the teachings of the Church. That’s where I get hung up. If they were only engaged and stayed chaste then fine but that is not marriage. Unless your looking at from the stand point of betrothed, but still not the same. I am running in a circle here sorry.

As I understand it, consummation only makes a valid marriage indissoluble.
CCC 1640:

Thus the marriage bond has been established by God himself in such a way that a marriage concluded and consummated between baptized persons can never be dissolved. …

bolded emphasis is mine

 

[SonCatcher]

I have always understood that the vows were only part of the marriage that a couple must consummate to be validly married. That not with standing a marriage with out any possibility of children because of ones actions would be sin and outside the teachings of the Church. That’s where I get hung up. If they were only engaged and stayed chaste then fine but that is not marriage. Unless your looking at from the stand point of betrothed, but still not the same. I am running in a circle here sorry.

Incorrect. The exchange of vows makes a valid marriage (or the blessing of the priest in the Eastern Church). Consummation makes a valid marriage indissoluble, but it is more of a “renewal” of vows.

The Church does not require a couple to perform the marital act, only that they be capable of it and that if they do they be open to the possibility of conceiving a child each time. This does not contradict the use of periodic abstinence for reducing the chance of conception when deemed prudent by the couple.

 

[Regina_Love]

Since one of the greatest gifts of marriage is begetting children, you can see how important it is that couples celebrate the marital embrace.

Some people have a special calling in life, a higher calling, or more specific calling than the average person. These people will be assisted by God to fulfill their calling, often in unusual ways, when compared to the average person. Mary & Joseph were not called to multiply & fill the earth in the same way the average married couple is. They had a specific calling to bring the savior to the world. Their marriage had a specific ministry, and was tailored to fit this calling/ministry, so of course they lived their marriage differently. That is exactly as God ment it to be.

 

[jcsmid7]

Thanks for the thoughts. I don’t know that it fixes it all for me but I am at least satisfied.

 

[TheWarriorMonk]

I have always understood that the vows were only part of the marriage that a couple must consummate to be validly married.

The exchange of vows is what makes the marriage valid. Consummation makes a valid marriage indissoluble IF the marriage is sacramental (both parties validly baptized).

There is no requirement that a validly married couple ever have sex, provided the spouses agree. However, the couple must have the ability to have sex at the time the vows are exchanged.

That not with standing a marriage with out any possibility of children because of ones actions would be sin and outside the teachings of the Church.

The couple must simply be open to having children at the time the vows are exchanged. That is no question that existed regarding Mary and Joseph, since they knew they were going to be the earthly parents of the Son of God.

Lastly, it should be noted that the nature of marriage was different prior to Christ’s time on Earth. Marriage were a covenant; sacramental marriages did not yet exist.

 

[jcsmid7]

I agree I just get hung up on the models and the thoughts on all of it. It starts to break apart for me when you apply the modern take on marriage. I agree that it was different then than now. It would be a hard thing to explain to a priest that we are in a sexless marriage. Questions would come up big time. Though it does happen. I think that’s the part I get hung up on is. The Church teaches the timelessness of marriage but it has looked differently through out time. Not grossly mind you but different. As I talk with others I realize how blessed I am in my own marriage and how different one marriage is to the next. Though blessings come in many ways and not the same way to all. We are apportioned grace for our crosses.