Greetings in the Lord Jesus Christ!
Here are my thoughts as a general help:
Mary Ever Virgin.
A couple of additional thoughts from Augustine:
“Her virginity also itself was on this account more pleasing and accepted, in that it was not that Christ being conceived in her, rescued it beforehand from a husband who would violate it, Himself to preserve it; but, before He was conceived, chose it, already dedicated to God, as that from which to be born. This is shown by the words which Mary spoke in answer to the Angel announcing to her her conception; ‘How,’ says she, ‘shall this be, seeing I know not a man?’ (Luke 1:34) Which assuredly she would not say, unless she had before vowed herself unto God as a virgin” (St. Augustine,
Of Holy Virginity).
“Didn’t the Virgin Mary do the will of the Father? I mean, she believed by faith, she conceived by faith, she was chosen to be the one from whom salvation in the very midst of the human race would be born for us, she was created by Christ before Christ was created in her. Yes, of course, holy Mary did the will of the Father. And therefore it means more for Mary to have been a disciple of Christ than to have been the mother of Christ. It means more for her, an altogether greater blessing, to have been Christ’s disciple than to have been Christ’s mother… So that is why Mary, too, is blessed, because she heard the word of God and kept it. She kept truth safe in her mind even better than she kept flesh safe in her womb” (St. Augustine,
Sermon 72/A, 7).
Her virginity links her with the image of the Church, whom Paul “betrothed… to one husband, to present… as a pure virgin to Christ” (2 Corinthians 11:2). Her motherhood of the disciples does this as well (cf. John 19:26-27 and Revelation 12:17). Seeing Mary as the prototype of the Church and as the Mother of the Church is beneficial to understanding the manner of her salvation and discipleship. Her perpetual virginity, being a bodily sign of her “sincere and pure devotion to Christ” (2 Corinthians 11:3), is a sign to us that what Paul was striving to bring about in the hearts of those to whom he wrote was already accomplished in Mary from the beginning of her life and preserved forever. She is in a special way
the virgin “who follow
the Lamb wherever He goes” (Revelation 14:4).
My personal faith is that James relates to Jesus as a step-brother, rather than as a cousin. This may help your friend with the noted distinctive usages of brother and cousin.
With love in Christ,
Pete
Help John Bugay