Mass etiquette regarding Sunday Mass collections aka donations

  • Thread starter Thread starter DarwinCatholic
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
You are right in abstract, but it is kind of wrong to show off in front of an old lady just because she scowls at you… you know? Wouldn’t have been easier to just donate something to make her feel her service to the church is worth?
You say that you prefer your contributions to the parish to remain secret yet you take offense when someone else challenges their existence. If you truly want to be a quiet secret contributor then you should not walk off those who scowl you.
I have been scowled by old ladies in the church and I know how annoying that is, especially when undeserved. But I think that they are probably suffering from solitude, spiritual challenges, many things. Holding a grudge is not a way.
Making the sign of peace is a meaningful gesture not just a hand shake. If you two have quietly argued maybe next time, now that you have proven your self to her you can also bemuse her and put something in the collection bag?
Where is the peace in you still being angry at her even after you showed her you don’t care about her?
 
No I park my double on the end by the side doors. All the other pews would still have access to their side door and still plenty of walkway space. The pew I use Has more leg space, but no kneel stand, is shorter than all the others, so less people can fit in it and there’s a table at the other end that blocks off my toddler from running away from me.
 
You can never fail with politeness. Have you introduced yourself and learned each other’s name? I wouldn’t worry about putting something in the basket. If she does say something, just casually tell her you do it electronically. She should know about the electronic option already. Complement her on something, perhaps her service to the church each week. Smile and be friendly. It’ll work out.
 
I think that if it was me, I would try to sit somewhere else in future.

As for the sign of peace, some people do find it uncomfortable and don’t wish to participate in it, and that should be fine (personally I’m not that keen on it myself, although I will participate in it). I wouldn’t make a point of trying to make the sign of peace with her if it is clear she doesn’t want to, just let her be. My understanding is that the sign of peace isn’t actually a gesture of friendship between us as individuals.
 
I do automated electronic donations because I don’t carry cash / change. Where I’m living electronic payments is mainly used everywhere, easiest way of keeping track of your spendings and budget. Getting cash out on a weekly basis becomes a chore especially when online shopping is now used. Plus i prefer not to have coins in my wallet as they are potential choking hazard.

I don’t mind it when that bag passes me and if other people keep their judgment to themselves. I just don’t think it’s appropriate at all to be demanding a donation in the way she approached me and to have that kind of attitude especially when she’s representing the church and parish. I’m just hoping this doesn’t continue / get worse as it has been over the weeks as it doesn’t make either of us very nice people to be behaving this way.

Out of anger I wanted to go straight to the Bishop to make a compliant, but I’m glad I came here first. I’m thankful for all the advice / opinion / thoughts on the matter.
 
DarwinCatholic said:
Out of anger I wanted to go straight to the Bishop to make a compliant, but I’m glad I came here first. I’m thankful for all the advice / opinion / thoughts on the matter.
Click to expand...
What if the parish priest knows this lady and her problems and he shrugs you off politely and next Sunday she comes at you again. Will you go to the Bishop?
I was angry too at this type of behavior, like 1 year ago. I was close to call upon Divine Justice over how low some ladies made me feel. Since then I realized we are all damaged somehow and that crazy old ladies near and inside the church simply do all they can and I feel sorry for them as well. Old people don’t change and some old people are lost in their unseen world. They are like kids minus the cute beautiful cloth of the body which has now decayed.
 
Just thought I’d give a final update if anyone’s interested.

Last Sunday the lady ignored me - which I’m fine with

During the week I saw her at a supermarket self serve checkout. Not only did I realize I knew her from Sunday Mass, but I also remembered from previous, long ago shopping experiences that she was always a grumpy lady that never welcomed customers. This was also before we attended the same Sunday Mass.

This time around, since I knew her, I automatically said hello. It’s always nice to run into someone I know from Mass. she didn’t say anything but most likely it could’ve been that she didn’t hear me / she was busy / she didn’t want to?.. so being genuinely extra friendly and caring I said hello again to which she acknowledged me and said hi.

I was happy to leave things at that. But I was also paying attention to a kid next to me who was having some sort of price / payment issue with his lolly purchase. The lady came over and said that he could go. After he left, she paid the remainder for this kids lolly purchase! What a lovely act! Deep down she is a nice lady.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top