Mass for Sacrament, Elsewhere for Fellowship

[gh4]

More often than not, when I go to a Protestant church, someone is there to introduce themselves to newcomers, the pastor makes an effort to greet me personally before or after the service, everybody is invited to stay for coffee and snacks, they pass around an e-mail signup list, and by the time I leave I’ve met 10 or 15 new people and they’ve invited me to participate in church meetings, the opening of a bookstore, a welcome party for a family of refugees, etc. If I call the church to set up an appointment with the pastor, usually they say I can just drop in that day. More often than not, when I go to a Catholic church I haven’t been to before, nobody speaks to me, the priest gives no indication that he sees me or knows who I am, and afterwords everybody leaves without a word. If I call the parish to schedule a meeting with the priest, they’re friendly enough, but they usually schedule it for two or three weeks in the future.

I move relatively frequently and you can imagine when I arrive in my new neighborhood whether I make a point to visit the Catholic churches or the Protestant churches first. I know many Catholic parishes have vibrant social communities once you make an effort to get involved, but there always is an undercurrent (particularly strong on this forum) of disdain for people who seek fellowship, almost as if one who lives a truly Christian life need never so much as acknowledge his neighbors’ existence. Just witness how upset people get over something as innocuous as the sign of the peace. The mass is necessary, but any healthy church should strive to be much more than a place where a bunch of isolated people go once a week to hear the mass.

Not infrequently we get questions on here from people who have been attending a particular parish for months or even years, and they want to know how they can prove they’re Catholics in good standing to be godparents or something similar because they don’t know many people at church and the pastor has no idea who they are. Even if you’re an introvert who never wants to talk to anyone else, the idea that the church could be so oblivious of your presence is insane, and it would be absolutely unthinkable at any Protestant church I’ve ever been to.

Exactly.

 

[TimothyH]

Why do you care about “fellowship”? Is the fellowship of Our Lord in the Most Holy Eucharist not enough? Instead of rushing off for a cup of tea why not spend that extra time in thanksgiving to Our Lord for His gift of Himself to us?

Still, its nice to make friends. And the kids do need to get out an play. I want my daughters to marry good Catholic men if they choose to get married and that isn’t going to happen by making them sit in adoration for five hours every day.

And the last words of the mass are “Go forth…”

-Tim-

 

[the_phoenix]

You know, at least this thread seems to indicate that those of us expressing these feelings are not alone, and in that way can actually be kind of reassuring.

In the past, I thought I was getting the cold shoulder due to my being single.
Now I see that apparently, Catholics tend to be cold towards people they don’t know in general.

And yes … I’ve tried reaching out and being friendly myself, being active in the parish, joining groups … In fact, I currently am active in my parish, though ironically what I’ve felt called to is the “silence and solitude” of weekly Eucharistic adoration.

Mass for Sacrament … Yes, of course!
“Elsewhere for fellowship” in my case tends to mean the art world.

It would be real nice if those of us here on CAF longing for Catholic fellowship
lived closer together … that said, one silver lining to our predicament that I read on another forum was something about
how the Lord seems to be strategically placing practicing Catholics in far-flung
locations to pray for the people in their “spiritual territory” such as those in need of conversion.

Anyways, if any of you live in Northeast Ohio (some of you don’t list a location),
you’re welcome to send me a Private Message to say hello, and maybe that could
be a way of starting some Catholic fellowship … in that we could actually meet at a local parish for Sunday Mass.

Others are welcome to write too, regardless of where you live.

~~ the phoenix

 

[maltmom]

I live in a very Baptist area. I just was confirmed into the church 3 weeks ago. I have a lot of friends. What I don’t have are Catholic friends. I’ve been going to mass several times a week at 3 different churches. I do miss the chatting in the parking lot and fellowship with others after the service. I’ll get used to it.

I was leaving mass the Saturday after confirmation. There were very few people at mass. I mention this b/c I was the last person out the door. I introduced myself to the priest on my way out since this is where I’m attending on Saturdays. He asked how I was doing and I said great and that I had been confirmed the week before. He said, “oh yes, I remember you now.” I was confirmed at another local church and had never seen him before. He had no idea who I was. I felt it would be disrespectful to say anything to him. I giggled on the way to my car and then realized that it was sad that a priest didn’t even have a clue who was brought into his church to the extent that he didn’t know that I wasn’t one of them. He wasn’t a visiting priest.

It’s a shame that Catholics have to go to a Protestant church for Christian fellowship.

 

[Jegudiel]

I live in a very Baptist area. I just was confirmed into the church 3 weeks ago. I have a lot of friends. What I don’t have are Catholic friends. I’ve been going to mass several times a week at 3 different churches. I do miss the chatting in the parking lot and fellowship with others after the service. I’ll get used to it.

I was leaving mass the Saturday after confirmation. There were very few people at mass. I mention this b/c I was the last person out the door. I introduced myself to the priest on my way out since this is where I’m attending on Saturdays. He asked how I was doing and I said great and that I had been confirmed the week before. He said, “oh yes, I remember you now.” I was confirmed at another local church and had never seen him before. He had no idea who I was. I felt it would be disrespectful to say anything to him. I giggled on the way to my car and then realized that it was sad that a priest didn’t even have a clue who was brought into his church to the extent that he didn’t know that I wasn’t one of them. He wasn’t a visiting priest.

It’s a shame that Catholics have to go to a Protestant church for Christian fellowship.

Welcome to the Church! I am sure sorry about the incident with your pastor. Your comment “It’s a shame that Catholics have to go to a Protestant church for Christian fellowship” rings very true and it saddens me. The more I ponder this the more I think the reason for the sad state of fellowship in many parishes boils down to a few things:

DENIAL: Catholics can’t face the fact that some other Christian groups outperform some Catholic parishes in certain important things such as fellowship. The universal excuse is typically “but we have the Eucharist.” That’s quite true but it’s not an excuse. They just don’t want to face the issue.

EFFORT: As others mentioned it does take a great deal of effort encourage and support strong fellowship. Some simply don’t want to roll up their sleeves or open their checkbooks.

LOW EXPECTATIONS: Many of us really don’t know how wonderful fellowship after Mass on a Sunday can be.

LOW COMPETITION: Other fellowships work like dogs (with far fewer gifts from God) to build their membership. They are competitive. The Catholic Church is not.

HARDENING: I also think a lot of Catholics have been hardened over the past few decades over all the garbage that has taken place in the Church. Given the choice they want to leave right after Mass (or communion.) It’s all about getting their tickets validated.

I was also going to say “big parishes” and “multiple Masses” but decades ago my parish had superior fellowship compared to today and we had more parishioners and Masses back them. I was also going to say “fewer priests” but I don’t think that’s the case either.

 

[Jegudiel]

I want to mention something else. Years ago I had a friend who was also a Byzantine Catholic priest, God rest his soul. He told me “This isn’t the liturgy (pointing upstairs), but it’s very important too” as he was getting ready to bless the food before the weekly coffee social after Divine Liturgy.

His replacement is quite a bit different. I don’t get to that parish much these days but I was there last week. He made a big deal of mentioning that the scope of the coffee socials would be reduced (no meals – coffee, donuts and a bowl of fruit only) if people didn’t start cleaning up better. 25 years and now it’s a problem? He’s certainly not cleaning up. Those ethnic meals/potlucks are a beloved part of the parish. The people work hard and love it! I could feel the color drain from my face.

I would bet dollars to donuts that the coffee socials are reduced within a month once and for all…

 

[Jegudiel]

More often than not, when I go to a Protestant church, someone is there to introduce themselves to newcomers, the pastor makes an effort to greet me personally before or after the service, everybody is invited to stay for coffee and snacks, they pass around an e-mail signup list, and by the time I leave I’ve met 10 or 15 new people and they’ve invited me to participate in church meetings, the opening of a bookstore, a welcome party for a family of refugees, etc. If I call the church to set up an appointment with the pastor, usually they say I can just drop in that day. More often than not, when I go to a Catholic church I haven’t been to before, nobody speaks to me, the priest gives no indication that he sees me or knows who I am, and afterwords everybody leaves without a word. If I call the parish to schedule a meeting with the priest, they’re friendly enough, but they usually schedule it for two or three weeks in the future.

I move relatively frequently and you can imagine when I arrive in my new neighborhood whether I make a point to visit the Catholic churches or the Protestant churches first. I know many Catholic parishes have vibrant social communities once you make an effort to get involved, but** there always is an undercurrent (particularly strong on this forum) of disdain for people who seek fellowship, almost as if one who lives a truly Christian life need never so much as acknowledge his neighbors’ existence.** Just witness how upset people get over something as innocuous as the sign of the peace. The mass is necessary, but any healthy church should strive to be much more than a place where a bunch of isolated people go once a week to hear the mass.

Not infrequently we get questions on here from people who have been attending a particular parish for months or even years, and they want to know how they can prove they’re Catholics in good standing to be godparents or something similar because they don’t know many people at church and the pastor has no idea who they are. Even if you’re an introvert who never wants to talk to anyone else, the idea that the church could be so oblivious of your presence is insane, and it would be absolutely unthinkable at any Protestant church I’ve ever been to.

Your posting was GREAT!

I think those that respond negatively to the concept of fellowship probably do so for the reasons I mentioned in an earlier posting.

One of the toughest things is finding a non-Catholic parish that is NOT anti-Catholic and one that is NON-liturgical. I’ve already been to Mass today. I am looking for simple communal prayer, great music, the opportunity to sing with others who care about such things and a potluck line where I can set my bowl of chili for others to enjoy over good conversation.

If some Catholics don’t understand that desire then it’s on them.

 

[cjmclark]

I want to mention something else. Years ago I had a friend who was also a Byzantine Catholic priest, God rest his soul. He told me “This isn’t the liturgy (pointing upstairs), but it’s very important too” as he was getting ready to bless the food before the weekly coffee social after Divine Liturgy.

His replacement is quite a bit different. I don’t get to that parish much these days but I was there last week. He made a big deal of mentioning that the scope of the coffee socials would be reduced (no meals – coffee, donuts and a bowl of fruit only) if people didn’t start cleaning up better. 25 years and now it’s a problem? He’s certainly not cleaning up. Those ethnic meals/potlucks are a beloved part of the parish. The people work hard and love it! I could feel the color drain from my face.

I would bet dollars to donuts that the coffee socials are reduced within a month once and for all…

There is a great deal to what you say. But that’s when it falls to the laity to step in and pick up the slack. You mentioned:

EFFORT: As others mentioned it does take a great deal of effort encourage and support strong fellowship. Some simply don’t want to roll up their sleeves or open their checkbooks.

LOW EXPECTATIONS: Many of us really don’t know how wonderful fellowship after Mass on a Sunday can be.

Both of these are very true, and could be very applicable in the case of your particular parish. If the parish-sponsored social events start to dry up, is it possible to organize Catholic fellowship events outside the parish? Are there ones that already exist? In my diocese we are very fortunate that there is a very active multi-parish young adults’ group. It unfortunately has not yet managed to take root at my particular parish, but they have events open to all young adults that take place at different parishes, at members’ houses, at the Cathedral, at the Pauline Bookstore, et c. I realize that depending on where folks live, this sort of thing might not be available, but it’s worth looking into.

 

[Jegudiel]

There is a great deal to what you say. But that’s when it falls to the laity to step in and pick up the slack. You mentioned:

Both of these are very true, and could be very applicable in the case of your particular parish. If the parish-sponsored social events start to dry up, is it possible to organize Catholic fellowship events outside the parish? Are there ones that already exist? In my diocese we are very fortunate that there is a very active multi-parish young adults’ group. It unfortunately has not yet managed to take root at my particular parish, but they have events open to all young adults that take place at different parishes, at members’ houses, at the Cathedral, at the Pauline Bookstore, et c. I realize that depending on where folks live, this sort of thing might not be available, but it’s worth looking into.

In the town I live in there are two Latin Rite parishes. Both are almost devoid of activities for adults outside of the Mass. When people make an effort (you can see it in the bulletin now and then) the support by the pastor and his staff seem appallingly lacking.

There is a monthly fair lecture of sorts. Many times the people speaking (one of the ladies in the parish that is now a “certified” spiritual director who charges a fee for instance) are not the type I want to be exposed to. The other thing is the 15-25 people who attend these events are the SAME 15-25 who attend all the events.

 

[Jegudiel]

Is there not a CATHOLIC parish in your area that does have coffee and donuts, fellowship, study groups, events, etc? Most parishes DO. Yours sounds particularly dead for reasons that probably are old and complex. Before you go to a protestant service, which may actually be a sin, check out other Catholic parishes that have a more active congregation.

I’m not going to an anti-Catholic fellowship or a liturgical one. No sin.

 

[jpjd]

I was leaving mass the Saturday after confirmation. There were very few people at mass. I mention this b/c I was the last person out the door. I introduced myself to the priest on my way out since this is where I’m attending on Saturdays. He asked how I was doing and I said great and that I had been confirmed the week before. He said, “oh yes, I remember you now.” I was confirmed at another local church and had never seen him before. He had no idea who I was. I felt it would be disrespectful to say anything to him. I giggled on the way to my car and then realized that it was sad that a priest didn’t even have a clue who was brought into his church to the extent that he didn’t know that I wasn’t one of them. He wasn’t a visiting priest.

That is a very uncharitable attitude toward this priest.

You attend Mass at 3 different parishes, and you wonder why this priest doesn’t know you??? You really need to choose one parish, preferably the one you belong to per parish boundaries, and make it your own.

As far as the priest thinking you were in the confirmation class at his parish, can you imagine how you must have thrown him for a loop when you said you had been confirmed the week before. He obviously assumed you meant at his parish; so he said “I remember you” so you wouldn’t feel bad for his lack of remembering you, which is a testament to the fact that he quite accurately did not know you to be part of his confirmation group. Why would you giggle at his confusion, even if only to yourself? The honest and charitable thing to do would be to explain, “No, you may remember me because I attend this parish on occasion, but I was confirmed at XYZ parish.”

 

[maltmom]

Welcome to the Church! I am sure sorry about the incident with your pastor. Your comment “It’s a shame that Catholics have to go to a Protestant church for Christian fellowship” rings very true and it saddens me. The more I ponder this the more I think the reason for the sad state of fellowship in many parishes boils down to a few things:

DENIAL: Catholics can’t face the fact that some other Christian groups outperform some Catholic parishes in certain important things such as fellowship. The universal excuse is typically “but we have the Eucharist.” That’s quite true but it’s not an excuse. They just don’t want to face the issue.

EFFORT: As others mentioned it does take a great deal of effort encourage and support strong fellowship. Some simply don’t want to roll up their sleeves or open their checkbooks.

LOW EXPECTATIONS: Many of us really don’t know how wonderful fellowship after Mass on a Sunday can be.

LOW COMPETITION: Other fellowships work like dogs (with far fewer gifts from God) to build their membership. They are competitive. The Catholic Church is not.

HARDENING: I also think a lot of Catholics have been hardened over the past few decades over all the garbage that has taken place in the Church. Given the choice they want to leave right after Mass (or communion.) It’s all about getting their tickets validated.

I was also going to say “big parishes” and “multiple Masses” but decades ago my parish had superior fellowship compared to today and we had more parishioners and Masses back them. I was also going to say “fewer priests” but I don’t think that’s the case either.

Thank you for the welcome.

I think part of it is what one is used to. I came from a very praise and worship oriented Baptist church. I was used to being close to those at church. We rarely saw each other outside of church functions.

I have checked with the different churches in my area. Some have programs for the youth, maybe the young adults and maybe for the over 60. Being in my 50’s and single I’m in that odd group. Being a “newbie” it would be difficult for me to start anything.

 

[maltmom]

That is a very uncharitable attitude toward this priest.

You attend Mass at 3 different parishes, and you wonder why this priest doesn’t know you??? You really need to choose one parish, preferably the one you belong to per parish boundaries, and make it your own.

As far as the priest thinking you were in the confirmation class at his parish, can you imagine how you must have thrown him for a loop when you said you had been confirmed the week before. He obviously assumed you meant at his parish; so he said “I remember you” so you wouldn’t feel bad for his lack of remembering you, which is a testament to the fact that he quite accurately did not know you to be part of his confirmation group. Why would you giggle at his confusion, even if only to yourself? The honest and charitable thing to do would be to explain, “No, you may remember me because I attend this parish on occasion, but I was confirmed at XYZ parish.”

I wasn’t being uncharitable. I told the story in the context of our conversation that at Protestant churches the pastor or ushers greet and know that someone is a visitor. I didn’t bring his confusion to his attention b/c I didn’t want to embarrass him. Remember I said that was the 1st time we had seen each other. I certainly wasn’t laughing at him. I know my heart and mind then and now. I giggled, not b/c I thought badly of him I was giggling at the different world I am in now. It was a happy giggle at how far I’ve come. If you are a cradle Catholic you wouldn’t understand that. A year ago I couldn’t even call a priest Father.

I go to 3 different churches b/c they offer masses at different times…not overlapping. I go to one on Tues and Thurs evenings…another on Sat evenings and my regular confirmation church on Sunday. I am active in my confirmation church…doing readings, etc. I would like to attend Mass more than once per week. To do so I have to attend more than one church. If I only attended my confirmation church I would only be able to attend Mass on Friday and Sunday. I don’t expect the priests at each church to know me. The 2nd time I went to the other church for Tues, Thurs Mass I introduced myself to that priest. He asked if I was a member of that church. I explained that I just joined the faith and that I was there for the evening Masses. He welcomed me and told me where to complete a form to get on the mailing list.

I’m sorry you were offended. As I said, I’m only been Catholic 3 weeks. I’m still finding my way.

 

[DhuAlQarnayn]

In another thread on this forum just a few hours ago, another poster complained that the priests in his diocese have “Protestant mannerisms”, which include greeting and talking to the parishioners before services. There’s a significant minority of Catholics who see any attempt to be social or promote fellowship in church as liturgical abuse. I really have no idea where this attitude comes from or how we can hope to be a universal church if priests conversing with their own parishioners is a damnable Protestant heresy.

 

[maltmom]

In another thread on this forum just a few hours ago, another poster complained that the priests in his diocese have “Protestant mannerisms”, which include greeting and talking to the parishioners before services. There’s a significant minority of Catholics who see any attempt to be social or promote fellowship in church as liturgical abuse. I really have no idea where this attitude comes from or how we can hope to be a universal church if priests conversing with their own parishioners is a damnable Protestant heresy.

I can understand their not greeting everyone b/f the service b/c they are preparing for it. I see nothing wrong with them greeting everyone as they leave.

 

[Jegudiel]

That is a very uncharitable attitude toward this priest.

Actually it doesn’t sound “uncharitable” in the least. What’s quite wrong though is your automatic defense of the priest. A common action that often keeps things from being looked at and ultimately improved.

You attend Mass at 3 different parishes, and you wonder why this priest doesn’t know you??? You really need to choose one parish, preferably the one you belong to per parish boundaries, and make it your own.

Why? I would guess my pastor knows maybe 20-30% of his charges at most. “Parish boundaries” mean zippo and attending multiple parishes is a technique some of us use to keep from leaving the Church altogether.

As far as the priest thinking you were in the confirmation class at his parish, can you imagine how you must have thrown him for a loop when you said you had been confirmed the week before. He obviously assumed you meant at his parish; so he said “I remember you” so you wouldn’t feel bad for his lack of remembering you, which is a testament to the fact that he quite accurately did not know you to be part of his confirmation group. Why would you giggle at his confusion, even if only to yourself? The honest and charitable thing to do would be to explain, “No, you may remember me because I attend this parish on occasion, but I was confirmed at XYZ parish.”

They lady acted with grace. To correct him would have been to expose how removed he is from his parish and that would have served no positive purpose.

 

[Jegudiel]

In another thread on this forum just a few hours ago, another poster complained that the priests in his diocese have “Protestant mannerisms”, which include greeting and talking to the parishioners before services. There’s a significant minority of Catholics who see any attempt to be social or promote fellowship in church as liturgical abuse. I really have no idea where this attitude comes from or how we can hope to be a universal church if priests conversing with their own parishioners is a damnable Protestant heresy.

They need catechesis. They probably also need to learn how to think in a critical manner and I’m not kidding about that. While I think it’s wrong to talk in a church before or after Mass when it might impact others, to view it as a “liturgical abuse” is outright stupidity.

 

[Jegudiel]

Our parish is too small to start groups, we’ve tried, several times in the past 2 years, and many others tried before that. Average at 5pm mass on Saturdays in the summer is about 16-25 people including priest and servers etc. Average is about 50-65 people at both Sat. and Sunday masses year round. If it weren’t for snowbirds in the winter, it would be much lower. Largest attended services are, of course, Christmas and Easter.

I’ll tell you one of the reasons the protestant churches do so well. About 5 years ago I had a neighbor who needed a ride to her church on Sundays. So I volunteered to take her and of course I stayed for their service. The first time I took her, the pastor knew my name BEFORE church ever started. I had a note in the mail from that pastor with his home phone number, his cell number and his church number offering to be there for me and my family at any time day or night if we needed him on Tuesday. Within a week, someone stopped by my home with a fresh loaf of wonderful home baked bread and a Welcome to our Church notebook for me. No pressure really and truly, just outreaching of friendship. That preacher has retired, and I still get a Christmas card from him and his wife every year, lovely people, and very good Christian people and very kind.
They have extensive youth programs, several weekly bible studies, women’s groups, men’s groups, and their church is packed to the gills for 2 services on Sundays and one Sunday evening adn one Wed. evening. Prayers groups, prayer chains, bible studies and so forth. LOTS and LOTS of support and caring oozing out of that church. They even have a small bus that picks up elderly twice a month to take them 40 miles to the nearest grocery, they charge a buck or two if you can afford it. That same bus picks up folks for church too. The pastor there has a policy, miss one Sunday and you know, things happen. Miss 2 Sundays and he’s calling you… not to reprimand you for missing church, but to find out if you are OK or if you need anything… I haven’t been to Mass since Feb. (cursillo from heck, bad experience, rethinking church) and not one person has called me, no one. Evidently I’m not particularly missed and no one gives a darn if I’m ok or not.

When I moved here and started attending mass, NOT ONE PERSON even said HELLO when I started attending, not one person. I don’t think the priest learned my name for months and months, and he had less than 20% of the church members this other church had. There is no bible study, no women’s group, no men’s group. Nothing except choir, and I believe there are 3 or 4 people in the choir at this point, many times when I was with the choir it would be us musicians and one or two others who bothered to come for practice once a month. We tried to get an altar society going, TWO people showed up for the first meeting, myself and one other person. Once a month we have donuts after church, and that’s the ONLY time I ever see people at church socializing. No prayer group or chain, nothing. People die and you don’t find out for days that they were even sick, more or less dying.

That prot. church has about 20 of our catholic folks there. I can see why they prefer that church, it’s alive and there is a ton of stuff to do to get involved, there is so much support there. And I realize that larger Catholic churches have more going on, I was heavily involved in a large church back east before I moved out here. But here where I live now, our church is really very small and not particularly worried about getting folks to be involved.

Your posting made me wince several times but it certainly rings true. There is a big Protestant Church across from my parish with very well regarded programs for kids. I was helping a friend BBQ (he attends there) and I saw this group of 5 ladies show up from my parish. They’re big-time insiders, I know them well and I’m thinking “what the heck are they doing here?”

Seems they were there to check out how the “competitors” did things. I almost had to laugh out loud. Not one of these 5 individuals had the God-given gifts, education, training or experience to build what has been done at the Protestant parish. THEY are the limitation. Very sad. I almost told them too…

 

[TrueLight]

In another thread on this forum just a few hours ago, another poster complained that the priests in his diocese have “Protestant mannerisms”, which include greeting and talking to the parishioners before services. There’s a significant minority of Catholics who see any attempt to be social or promote fellowship in church as liturgical abuse. I really have no idea where this attitude comes from or how we can hope to be a universal church if priests conversing with their own parishioners is a damnable Protestant heresy.

I agree. I have been told subtly and not so subtly that desiring to have fellowship with one another is a Protestantism.

I feel blessed to be at a parish where someone understood the need for fellowship and so we have a vibrant coffee hour.

Also, there is a Dominican-run parish that often gives lectures and after the lectures there is always wine and cheese.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

Your posting made me wince several times but it certainly rings true. There is a big Protestant Church across from my parish with very well regarded programs for kids. I was helping a friend BBQ (he attends there) and I saw this group of 5 ladies show up from my parish. They’re big-time insiders, I know them well and I’m thinking “what the heck are they doing here?”

Seems they were there to check out how the “competitors” did things. I almost had to laugh out loud. Not one of these 5 individuals had the God-given gifts, education, training or experience to build what has been done at the Protestant parish. THEY are the limitation. Very sad. I almost told them too…

Way to encourage fellowship! Ladies, I think you are cold-fish and I can’t imagine how you’d ever be able to get something like this going at our parish!

Wow. You should be glad to see that folks from your parish want to initiate fellowship. I’d call those 5 women and anyone else from your parish who was there and suggest that the group of you work to get something like a coffee hour or summertime bbq going at the parish.

If we want fellowship we need to work for it. There is no point in complaining that the parish doesn’t have such and such program, and then turning around and dissing the people in the parish who might be able to get something like that started.