Mass for someone?

[newcalling]

My mother passed away this morning. She was not Catholic. Can I still have a mass said for her? How much of a donation would I need to make to my parish or wherever? I was confirmed in May of this year and I don’t know these things. Thank you.

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

It sounds OK to me. Sometimes our Mass intentions include references to groups that would include non-Catholics.

If there is some rule that says I’m wrong, I am unaware of it. My wife and I have had quite a few Masses for intentions. At our parish, we donate $10 but it varies so you should ask. I’m not even sure but the $10 may be “suggested” rather than required, but I’ve never asked because in my worst times I’ve had $10 for a Mass intention.

In your situation, I’d just call the parish office and ask about having a Mass said, and they would take it from there. They usually don’t ask if the person is Catholic; they just need a name and sometimes we have a chat with the secretary about how they relate to us.

I would feel confident in doing that, but if you want to make ‘doubly sure’ then it wouldn’t hurt when you call, to ask “is it OK to have a Mass said for a non-Catholic?” And if the answer is anything but “yes” then I’d be very surprised. But there is no problem with asking that question whether you are a new convert or a “cradle Catholic”.

Keep in mind that most converts I know, know more about the faith than many of the cradles I know. We are Catholic outside of our own control, and without having to pass any sort of scrutiny.

 

[Casilda]

I am sorry you have lost your mother. Of course you can have a mass said for her. I have seen parishes not charge or ask for any donation, some ask for a donation of $10-20. Please remember your mom whenever by having a mass said for her, especially on her birthday or the anniversary of her passing.

 

[pianistclare]

My mother passed away this morning. She was not Catholic. Can I still have a mass said for her? How much of a donation would I need to make to my parish or wherever? I was confirmed in May of this year and I don’t know these things. Thank you.

I’m so sorry fro your loss.
May she rest in eternal bliss.
Of course you can have a Mass said for her. Either go to the parish office and speak to the secretary. She will help you. $10-20 is fairly standard.
But you will not be refused if you don’t have money.
God bless.

 

[newcalling]

Thank you both. As soon as my phone has some charge I will call my parish. I’m having a much harder time dealing with her passing than I thought I would. She had been dying for some years because of Parkinson’s, and she was hanging on by a thread since January, yet the actual passing is hitting me extra hard. I thought that I was ready for her to pass. I’m glad that she isn’t suffering anymore. Her whole life was Purgatory, so hopefully she won’t have too much time there. She wasn’t Catholic or even very Christian, but I have to believe that she is in Heaven. If she isn’t, I don’t want to know until I am there and can no longer grieve about it.

 

[pianistclare]

Thank you both. As soon as my phone has some charge I will call my parish. I’m having a much harder time dealing with her passing than I thought I would. She had been dying for some years because of Parkinson’s, and she was hanging on by a thread since January, yet the actual passing is hitting me extra hard. I thought that I was ready for her to pass. I’m glad that she isn’t suffering anymore. Her whole life was Purgatory, so hopefully she won’t have too much time there. She wasn’t Catholic or even very Christian, but I have to believe that she is in Heaven. If she isn’t, I don’t want to know until I am there and can no longer grieve about it.

Be sure to reach out to friends who will let you work through the grief by listening. This is when your parish friends and acquaintances can be a source of healing and hope.
We are called to comforted the grieving. Please allow folks to do just that.
Again, I’m so terribly sorry. Losing your mama is hard, no matter the circumstances.
May God bless you abundantly.

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

Thank you both. As soon as my phone has some charge I will call my parish. I’m having a much harder time dealing with her passing than I thought I would. She had been dying for some years because of Parkinson’s, and she was hanging on by a thread since January, yet the actual passing is hitting me extra hard. I thought that I was ready for her to pass. I’m glad that she isn’t suffering anymore. Her whole life was Purgatory, so hopefully she won’t have too much time there. She wasn’t Catholic or even very Christian, but I have to believe that she is in Heaven. If she isn’t, I don’t want to know until I am there and can no longer grieve about it.

This post is amazing. This may be the healthiest, most insightful missive I’ve ever seen written by someone grieving a recent loss. Welcome to the Church, and I believe you are very much on target about her.

I’m sorry for your loss. The severance can’t ever go away completely but in time – especially given your realistic views – it will get easier at least on an operational basis. How long until you notice the difference is something nobody can predict.

 

[newcalling]

I called my parish and they will be saying a mass for her Sunday at the service I attend. They were happy to do it.