Mass: Holding hands during "Our Father"? Yes or No?

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netmil(name removed by moderator):
Not everyone is an average healthy adult. To some seniors and those with AutoImmune diseases, a flu is life threatening.
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Then this argument is just a red herring. Some seniors and folks with autoimmune diseases need to be protected, but they are (or at least should) be taking the burden for that themselves. If people don’t want hand holding, they should just say it, not make excuses.

I’ll pray for your sister, Netmil(name removed by moderator), I hope everything turns out OK!
 
At Duquesne most people do hold hands (some priests actually instruct us to do so, but that another story…). I’ve heard that it’s common at parishes in the Pittsburgh area (I’ve only been to two and handholding was very common at both, but I don’t know if that’s typical). However, it’s not something that I’ve seen too much of back home in Philly.

I did do a quick Google search on the Charismatic Renewal and found these two links about it:

ccr.org.uk/ccrstart.htm

ccr.org.uk/duquesne.htm

They both discuss the beginnings of the movement and how it began with students and faculty at Duquesne experiencing the Holy Spirit during a retreat. Maybe that explains why it’s so widespread at Duquesne.
 
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aurora77:
Then this argument is just a red herring. Some seniors and folks with autoimmune diseases need to be protected, but they are (or at least should) be taking the burden for that themselves. If people don’t want hand holding, they should just say it, not make excuses.

I’ll pray for your sister, Netmil(name removed by moderator), I hope everything turns out OK!
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Actually, I do agree with you. Personal responsibility is a big part of those who have this problem, but the poster that I responded to kind of dismissed these people. All I’m saying is that we have motivations of comfort level, i.e. abuse, disease, lack of caring parents in childhood, etc. that explain someone not wanting to hold hands. They deserve to have validation as well and not looked down on for being “Unchristian”. Those with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder would have a huge episode from having a person grab his hand. They look like they are like anyone else. With as many incidents of Hand grabbing that have been reported, I would just like to remind people that charity goes both ways.
And please, if you’re sick, think about what you may be spreading.

Oh thank you for the Prayers for my sister! She is three days away from her 50th birthday and slipped on some steps at work a few years ago. It was not pretty. To top it off, she was doing just fine then her heartrate dropped after surgery and they couldn’t wake her. The morphine pump malfunctioned and she got 26 units of morphine instead of 10!!
She is in ICU now and doing fine but it will be a long road to recovery. God love her!
 
Netmil(name removed by moderator), I think you’re absolutely right. We’ve got to be respectful of those around us; that’s the main thing. If they want or don’t want to hold hands, no one should have to.

Your poor sister! I was wondering how knee replacement got her into the ICU. I’m glad to hear she’s better.
 
Hello all:

Sorry I am new But wanted to post to this to give some of you something to consider…

The Church I attend seems to have a split in the holding of hands.
Personally ( and I guess I would be considered one of those macho types) it really dont bother me at all. and I can actually say this tiny part of church actually made me feel more welcome and a part of the church, This is coming from someone who was “afraid or embarrassed to go to church” since i was age 8 or so,I am now 40… anyways seems a big deal is being made about Germs being spread! how many of you think about that when you go up for communion and drink after these same people after just a small dry cloth wipe off?
Although I have not been worthy yet of the sacrament of eucharist
and am looking forward to easter when i can participate this was a concern for me.holding a fellow followers hand,a part of our community has never bothered me in any way.

My 2 cents
John
 
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aurora77:
OK, I’ve got to follow up on this. In any of the hand holding threads, many people seem really worried that they’re going to catch something if they shake hands at the Sign of Peace or hold hands during the Our Father. Is this really something we need to worry about? Does the average, healthy adult really have that much greater risk just by touching another person?
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Dear aurora77:

Case from my own personal experience this past Christmas. My brother’s family had stomach flu so bad that they had to cancel all their plans, sit home, and ride out the illness. They then got together with all the other branches of the family at a post-Christmas dinner on December 27th. Because I really can’t afford to be taking off all kinds of sick time, I made it my business to avoid any and all physical contact with them. Apart from a sticky baby brushing against me and me wiping it off real quick … (I won’t even mention the baby’s symptoms) … I succeeded. Now, the members of my family who hugged or otherwise touched my brother’s family all came down with cases in their own homes of … * drumroll please * … the stomach flu, the full-blown nasty version. Since I only had a minor brush with it, I only just felt myself fighting coming down with something. Okay, so I’m not a warm-and-fuzzy, touchy-feely person …

So yes, when I am sick, I warn people in the pews at the Sign of Peace by clearly stating that I have a very bad cold. That way, if they want to go ahead and grab my hand then or during the “Our Father” … they can’t say they haven’t been warned if they come down with a sickness.

TO ALL:

One other thing on topic. I’m on the short side. Therefore, if you ARE going to grab my hands during the “Our Father,” please bear in mind that if two of you, one on either side of me, lift up your hands real high at the end of the prayer, I am quite literally going to feel like a wishbone that you are pulling apart. Next time this happens, I just might respond with an “OUCH” instead of an “AMEN.” :rolleyes:

One more thing on topic. To those of you hand-holders who feel the need to squeeze my hand at the end to indicate the vast amount of your warmth and love towards me … How come you never take the time to get to know me as an actual friend outside of Mass? If you’re a stranger who is not sincere about getting to know me as a person, please know that your fake intimacy is not appreciated.

~~ the phoenix
 
I would imagine that you have more chance of catching the flu virus just by standing next to someone with the flu as its an airborne virus. Everytime they breathe the viruses will reach you so whatever reasons some people have for not wanting to hold hands I don’t think fear of the flu is valid.
 
the phoenix:
From the Centers for Disease Control website on the topic of “How Flu Spreads.”

~~ the phoenix
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I agree. I did not say you cannot catch it by touch. What I said is there is more chance of catching a flu virus just by being in close proximity to the virus carrier.
 
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she_he:
anyways seems a big deal is being made about Germs being spread! how many of you think about that when you go up for communion and drink after these same people after just a small dry cloth wipe off?
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Good point!
We use intinction. A host is dipped in a small cup of wine.
Perhaps this should become the standard.
 
netmil(name removed by moderator):
Good point!
We use intinction. A host is dipped in a small cup of wine.
Perhaps this should become the standard.
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The only problem with that is that I believe only priests and deacons are allowed to do intinction and parishes like ours are lucky to have a priest sharing parishes much less multiple priests and deacons in one parish. 😦
 
A thought just occured to me (yes, I know that’s dangerous! 🙂 ) that in addressing the issue of spreading germs, communion on the tongue is probably more likely to spread germs since it can involve contact with either airborne or saliva-borne germs on the hands of the priest or EMHC from the person receiving, which would then be passed on, whereas placing the host in the hands of the recipient would be less likely to transmit germs to the person who was distributing.

I don’t personally consider it an issue, although I have seen priests “sit out” the distribution of communion when they had colds or were recovering from a flu virus.
 
I have become comfortable with letting the interactive body language immediately at Our Father time dictate whether I offer my hand.

If someone is struggling to offer their hand to mine, or at least appears so, I’ll offer mine. If they don’t seem to want to, then I will not initiate any blatant maneuvers that could make them feel I was trying to obligate them.

Of course an invitation does not obligate them in my view, but in their view it could. If I don’t want to hold hands and the person next to me does, I can feel pressure from several areas to go ahead.

Correct body language makes it so that it is no longer awkward to handle these on the fly, and I no longer sit there dreading the beginning of the Our Father like I used to for up to a minute in advance and be distracted from the prayer. (It’s like: oh, no, is THAT person going to try to hold my hand … )

This post does not necessarily correlate with previous opinions I’ve had on the subject, so just in case you think I need to be reminded of my flip-flop I’ll make that point up front. 🙂

Alan
 
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ncjohn:
The only problem with that is that I believe only priests and deacons are allowed to do intinction and parishes like ours are lucky to have a priest sharing parishes much less multiple priests and deacons in one parish. 😦
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Well John, what’s your problem?
Get going on becoming a Deacon!!!😉
 
This is just to provide my scattered thoughts on this matter.
Since this isn’t a part of the liturgy, I don’t feel obligated to hold hands with strangers. In fact one time at mass a woman I didn’t know tried to hold my hand and I looked at her in dismay and shook my head. (Though I hold my wife’s hand during the Our Fatehr (and even kiss her cheek for the kiss of peace!)) Since the experience with the strange woman I have put the other hand in my right pocket, in case someone grabs my other hand before I know it.) By the way, during the U.S. bishops’ national meeting the year before last, some bishops protested that there are people who don’t go to mass because people expect them to hold hands with them during the Our Father.
On the other hand, I have been realizing more fully lately how Catholics at mass are one in faith, as the prayers at mass bring out, since we pray much for each other) and that it is not good to treat those at mass completely as strangers. So I well understand how people want to hold hands during the Our Father. Still, I am a reserved person, and since it actually isn’t part of the mass, I happily refuse to carry out this particular activity.
 
Peace Pilgrim said,
I am in the health field and I am constantly washing my hands…As for me, I will hold hands at my parish. No big deal.
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Code: 
 But what about the germs, do you then rub
 your hands with sanitizer? ;)
 
netmil(name removed by moderator):
Good point!
We use intinction. A host is dipped in a small cup of wine.
Perhaps this should become the standard.
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A host is dipped in wine or Precious Blood?
 
Sorry, but I have to say this. I am not a hand holder but not because of germs. I don’t like to hold hands or shake hands because I think it is a distraction from the focus of the Mass. I try to show my involvement with my church family thoughout the week, talking and listening to them when they need it, teaching CCD, visiting after Mass. Of course I unite with the entire worldwide church community through the Eucharist. I think that for that one hour, I need to focus on the wonders of our Lord, not my neighbor in the pew so much. I get really discouraged when people use the germ thing as a reason for this because it oversimplifies the issue. People, including a local priest make a big deal out of the fact that people who don’t want to hold or shake hands are only being silly about germs :rolleyes: . I think it sends the wrong message to only state that aspect as your reason. So, nonhand holders, lets tell the whole story so that we will be better understood, huh? 👍
 
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