Mass intention or no?

[halogirl]

What do I do if someone has said they don’t want a mass intention for their deceased family member as that person wasn’t religious even though the rest of the family were? Do I honour the request of the living relative or request the intention anyway? They have no way of finding out if I did or not

 

[Tis_Bearself]

In cases like this, where you are not sure if the surviving family will “approve” of your having a Mass said, I don’t even ask them. I simply request the Mass anyway, using one of the many Internet services that provide Masses, I ask them to send the Mass card to me or not send one at all if there’s an option to not send one, and I don’t tell the family.

You having a Mass said for someone is between you and the person for whom you are having the Mass said, and God. It is nobody else’s business. If the person was not religious during their life, then they need the Mass all the more. I’ve had Masses said for celebrities I don’t even know and I don’t call up their families or their agents to tell them I had a Mass said for deceased so-and-so. Just like I said use an Internet service or otherwise keep their name off any public place like the bulletin, so nobody sees it and gets upset.

 

[Cor_ad_Cor]

I had Masses said for relatives who are not Catholic. Because I wasn’t sure how they/their children would feel about it, I simply had the Masses listed as “Cor’s Special Intention”.

 

[spiderweb]

I agree with Tis_Bearself.

Since it doesn’t sound like the family will be praying for that person, all the more reason to pray for them. You could also just request a Mass as a “special intention” without naming the person so you don’t need to go outside your parish if that is also where the family members go to church.

 

[TomH1]

I think that the deceased needs a Mass to be offered for them. We all need Masses offered for us. I think it would be an extremely kind act of Christian charity to have a Mass said for the deceased.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

I have Masses said for my Protestant loved ones.
And for my fallen away Catholic loved ones.
You don’t need permission.
There are missions and religious orders you can do this through.