Mass, Me and the DH

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PatienceAndLove

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As I have stated in previous posts, my DH was raised and baptized Baptist, and attended a non-dom with his parents the last few years. But he is now agnostic (for lack of better term and my inability to understand, though we have discussed it at length) I am a cradle Catholic. I fell away from the faith during an abusive relationship and continued with paganism through that time until recently (within the last year). During the last year, I was very adamant about getting myself and my daughter to Sunday mass.

Since we got married, however, I am finding it harder and harder to get us all to Mass (my daughter enjoys it, and I actually get yelled at when we don’t go…and she’s 3, God Bless her)

He fears I have gone over the edge religiously (I was not Catholic when we met and returned whole hog after our engagement began), and I can understand that. He used to go to Mass with us, but his hours at work have prevented his attendance with us. He is now home on Sundays, and I want us all to go together… but I am having issues with getting myself together and motivated to go. Dark night of the Soul, perhaps…

Prayers and ideas, dear friends.
 
Make sure you go to Mass and take your daughter with or without your husband. Pray for him when you go to Mass. Even if he refuses to go, you still need to go since you are Catholic.
 
lak611 said:
Make sure you go to Mass and take your daughter with or without your husband. Pray for him when you go to Mass. Even if he refuses to go, you still need to go since you are Catholic.
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sigh I know. I just can’t seem to get that motivation lately… that’s what I need help with, less than the getting him there. I need to actually get me (and Vivi in turn) there.
 
PatienceAndLove said:
sigh I know. I just can’t seem to get that motivation lately… that’s what I need help with, less than the getting him there. I need to actually get me (and Vivi in turn) there.
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Have you considered going to the Vigil Mass on Saturday? If you are not a “morning person” that may be more convenient.
 
Dear Patience,
if you don’t go to mass, you have to go to confession and confess it as a mortal sin.
That’s enough to get me there. I avoid mortal sins like . . .death.
You might mention to your husband that children almost always follow their father’s path, no matter what the mother does – does he really want his daughter to end up without faith?
 
It’s tough. Sometimes real tough getting to mass. The world has all kinds of neat and ingenious ways to lure us away from worshiping Him who gave us everything.

The alternative to NOT going is to slip away into a life you seem to want to move on from. The other big thing is your daughter. Not to do this to you, but my kids, especially my daughter, many years ago when I was a Catholic-whenever-I-feel-like-it, would really grind on me when I slept thru Sunday morning and didn’t take her so she could sing with the choir (she wasn’t in it, just loved singing along). I used to get out of bed so horribly guilty that I was responsbile for depriving her of the very thing she longed for and certainly needed in her life - a relationship with her Creator and Heavenly Father.

There are consequences with every choice we make.
 
I will keep you and your family in my prayers! :gopray2: Maybe try going on Saturday or to a different time on Sunday perhaps?
 
gam3rchic said:
I will keep you and your family in my prayers! :gopray2: Maybe try going on Saturday or to a different time on Sunday perhaps?
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We already go to the late Mass-1115am!! Hence why I am so upset at myself!!!
 
Book Suggestion

Scott Hahn’s “The Lamb’s Supper” - you will see Mass in a whole new light after reading this book!
 
Put it this way, you make sure you and your daughter eat enough to survive, right? Well, you both also need your spiritual food to spiritually survive. The Sacraments provide you with the food you need. Let the same motivation you use to feed your family extend to spiritually feeding them 🙂
 
Genesis315 said:
Put it this way, you make sure you and your daughter eat enough to survive, right? Well, you both also need your spiritual food to spiritually survive. The Sacraments provide you with the food you need. Let the same motivation you use to feed your family extend to spiritually feeding them 🙂
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Nice, I like that
 
Find another reason to be at Mass. I know, I know, being with Jesus should be enough.

But if you make yourself accountable to another person it might help. Start helping at the mass. Does your church have greeters? What about help with CCD? Or if there is anything else you could help with? That way you will feel like you have made a commitment to someone and will feel the draw to be there.
 
maryjk said:
Find another reason to be at Mass. I know, I know, being with Jesus should be enough.

But if you make yourself accountable to another person it might help. Start helping at the mass. Does your church have greeters? What about help with CCD? Or if there is anything else you could help with? That way you will feel like you have made a commitment to someone and will feel the draw to be there.
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No one to wrangle the wee mite if I am greeting people. No babysitter for teaching CCD. 🤷
 
PatienceAndLove said:
No one to wrangle the wee mite if I am greeting people. No babysitter for teaching CCD. 🤷
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Teach preschool. 🤷

Those are just ideas. Go to the parish office and ask what you can do to help before Mass. Tell them you have a three year old and that she will be with you.

As my mother told me, “get thee to Mass!”
 
Thank you all for the prodding and reminding. I think it was just what I needed. 👍

As for teaching, I don’t have time to take that on right now, as I am focusing on my summer courses and then on doing my student teaching. Perhaps next year.
 
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