Mass no no's

[Saint_Michael]

Another kid behind me, who was probably about 5ish, spent that same Mass talking, albeit whispering, to her mom and her mom was whispering as well. The girl was also softly singing. Softly singing her own song, not one that was being sung during Mass. And it wasn’t when anyone else was singing, either.

LOL I think you just have a problem with kids at mass, pretty much everyhting a child will do gets under your skin. My son is five and he wispers to me about what’s going on and I explain it to him. He takes the Missal and tries to follow along, and if he gets confused he asks and I encourage it. It sure beats being told to shut up, then getting smacked in the mouth after Mass like my dad did to me. I had no idea what was going on during the Mass until well into my 20’s, (we were well behaved though)

My Church doesn’t have a cry room and I feel for the poor Moms who have to deal with the nasty looks from people because her 9 month old is CRYING Heavens NO! One Mass this poor woman had two kids who were very bad admitedly but no older than three, one woman must’ve turned around and gave this woman the look of death no fewer than 20 times. The woman was obviously upset from it and packed the kids up and left. I’m a regular at Mass and have never seen her since.

These topics are the worst, they make me feel like I better sit down, shut up, and don’t breathe too loudly or people are judging me and my family. I mean blue jeans or children eating a granola bar is really that bad?

I have a baby on the way should my family and I not attend Mass until the child is able to sit quietly for an hour and a half?

 

[chicago]

That is the problem, I did not wait to stop her, she was doing this throughout the whole mass. I was really burning up inside because I would tell my one daughter who was sitting next to me to tell your sister to stop it and she would stop but then she would do another annoying thing. This was why I was getting mad by the minute. Finally, I asked God why do I do this to myself, why bring someone to church if they act like this. Then out of the blue this man behind us told her to stop and she did. So you see I was trying but I was trying to be less noticeable. I don’t want to portray her being totally disruptive, because she wasn’t it was just certain times during the mass. So I guess the man just thought she was disruptive.

It takes a village. Sometimes a parent can’t the through to a get kid what a stranger can. Sounds like an answered prayer to me.

As far as someone else’s comment that the girl has no respect for the Mass, eh… no, I think she was just being a teenage girl! Doing what comes natural.

 

[PseudoHermit_22]

One Mass this poor woman had two kids who were very bad admitedly but no older than three, one woman must’ve turned around and gave this woman the look of death no fewer than 20 times. The woman was obviously upset from it and packed the kids up and left. I’m a regular at Mass and have never seen her since.

That is just wrong and very sad.

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If you really want to know mine, it’s this:

-Seeing a dollar bill in the collection basket.

I go to a church that is full of very well to do folks in a very nice and affluent Los Angeles neighborhood–though I am by no means wealthy (just getting by) but while I try not to judge, I think some of the folks in my parish should put a little more effort in to trying to peel off a little more for those less fortunate than they. It makes me laugh. The parking lot is full of Mercedes, BMWs, Lexus’s, etc and these people are dropping a buck in the collection…sad.

 

[Birdysboy]

That is just wrong and very sad.

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If you really want to know mine, it’s this:

-Seeing a dollar bill in the collection basket.

Agreed. And to those that didn’t know it, today is Saint Vincent DePaul’s feast day, the Saint of Charity. So this weekend, please put TWO dollars in the collection. It won’t hurt much…

 

[Karin]

Agreed. And to those that didn’t know it, today is Saint Vincent DePaul’s feast day, the Saint of Charity. So this weekend, please put TWO dollars in the collection. It won’t hurt much…

How do you know that these people dont give their time perhaps or their money directly to the charities that the Church supports?
I dont give much each week but I do give each week to the poor box (matching donation as my church enevelope) and a bag or two of food each month…I also do volunteer work.

 

[Orionthehunter]

My number #1 no-no at Mass is worrying about what goes around you and allowing it to affect your own worship.

 

[Faith1960]

<< Our cry room is seldom used either and we have our share of little ones who should use it. There is a family of 10, yes 10, whose little ones are as quiet as mice. Not a peep from them and they are there every day. They must be home schooled because the weekday mass would be when the older ones would be in school. Nice family. >>

It’s amazing to see a family that large with kids who are on their best behavior and then see a family with one or two kids acting like they were raised by wolves, isn’t it? it’s not the kids fault, it’t the parents. Some kids don’t know better and some have ADHD or some other problem that they can’t help. Sitting in the cry room would allow everyone else to be able to concentrate on Mass.
During Mass on the Assumption, a kid who was maybe 9 or 10 was in front of me, really acting up. I kept waiting for the missle holder thing to break because he was kneeling on it, with his feet on the pew and this was a semi hefty boy. He was talking and grabbing his sister who was on the other side of his mom. At one point he started playing with his gum and pulling it out of his mouth. After all that he tried to shake my hand during the Sign of Peace. I said “Peace Be With You” but did not touch his hand.:nope:
He kept acting up all thoughout Mass and I was under the impression that he had some problems but it’s the responsibility of the parents to see that their kids don’t distract other parishioners. His dad, who was at the other end kept looking at him and I think finally said something to the mother but for the most part, the mom let him go on. Nobody took him out of the church.

 

[chotock]

My number #1 no-no at Mass is worrying about what goes around you and allowing it to affect your own worship.

Heh heh I like that

The only thing that tends to cause me problems are those that have colds or worse that spend the entire mass coughing, snorting and blowing their noses. This is only because, well, its gross.

Children at Mass, yeah they will make some noise, usually unintentionally. I am fortunate in that our parish has a glassed in chapel area that overlooks the main church (we have seating around the altar) so families can go there if the children are restless. But honestly, a child’s behavious is nothing compared to adults who talk, sleep, babble, should responces, respond before the congregation and the rest of the list. I just take it all instride and maintain the attitude that I am no more near perfect than anyone else.

 

[Birdysboy]

How do you know that these people dont give their time perhaps or their money directly to the charities that the Church supports?
I dont give much each week but I do give each week to the poor box (matching donation as my church enevelope) and a bag or two of food each month…I also do volunteer work.

OK, good. I’m glad. God knows the giver’s heart. Widow’s mite is always a good homily. However, the Church has expenses too. It has lights to pay, the Diocese to support and Poor to feed also. I see lots of people wearing $700 suits to church and driving 700 Series BMWs dropping a Buck in the basket. God knows where their treasure and heart is.

 

[Orionthehunter]

OK, good. I’m glad. God knows the giver’s heart. Widow’s mite is always a good homily. However, the Church has expenses too. It has lights to pay, the Diocese to support and Poor to feed also. I see lots of people wearing $700 suits to church and driving 700 Series BMWs dropping a Buck in the basket. God knows where their treasure and heart is.

God knows and you don’t. You’d be wise to not note who puts what in the collection basket as it appears that it causes you to judge another person’s interior life. This is the sole perogative of God.

By the way, our parish allows us to give electronically with direct withdrawal from our checking account. We use it because it makes it easy to make sure that our donation is made even if we are out of town (we at least never seemed to make it up). From the Catechism:

2477 Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury. He becomes guilty:

of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor;

of detraction who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another’s faults and failings to persons who did not know them;279

of calumny who, by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them.

2478 To avoid rash judgment, everyone should be careful to interpret insofar as possible his neighbor’s thoughts, words, and deeds in a favorable way:

Every good Christian ought to be more ready to give a favorable interpretation to another’s statement than to condemn it. But if he cannot do so, let him ask how the other understands it. And if the latter understands it badly, let the former correct him with love. If that does not suffice, let the Christian try all suitable ways to bring the other to a correct interpretation so that he may be saved.

 

[Karin]

OK, good. I’m glad. God knows the giver’s heart. Widow’s mite is always a good homily. However, the Church has expenses too. It has lights to pay, the Diocese to support and Poor to feed also. I see lots of people wearing $700 suits to church and driving 700 Series BMWs dropping a Buck in the basket. God knows where their treasure and heart is.

Hmm…sound like you need to leave it in GOd’s hands…also many with outwardly signs of riches are actaully the deepest in debt…something to think about!
Say a prayer for them!

 

[Saint_Michael]

OK, good. I’m glad. God knows the giver’s heart. Widow’s mite is always a good homily. However, the Church has expenses too. It has lights to pay, the Diocese to support and Poor to feed also. I see lots of people wearing $700 suits to church and driving 700 Series BMWs dropping a Buck in the basket. God knows where their treasure and heart is.

I give monthly and just drop it off to the rectory, it’s easier for my accounting. I give my son $1 to drop in so he has something to do. You never know really, it’s better to err on the side of caution, than wrongly judge people.

These threads always make me so paranoid, this Sunday I’m going to be freaking out that I’m aggravating someone if I wipe my brow or yawn.

 

[Faith1960]

<< 1. Holding hands during the Our Father >>

I don’t like that but have been wondering if I’ll change my mind after my CRRP weekend since the people I usually see holding hands have been to some kind of renewal weekend or are somehow very active in the Church.

<< 2. Blue-jeans >>

I don’t mind, if they’re modest (not real low-rise), are clean, fit well and are in good shape. I think that those who are part of the Mass itself such as the Offertoy, choir, etc. should wear something a little nicer.

<< 3. People who feel it is necessary when saying the Creed or Our Father to say it one sentence faster than the rest of the congregation. And usually, they sit it front of me. It is just distracting, but I am glad they are saying it. >>

I don’t mind that either. Once there was an older gentleman sitting behind me with the loudest booming voice who was always one step ahead in everything we said. Not a whole sentence ahead but a word or two. I actually got a kick out of his enthusiasm. He sang really loud, too, and his singing voice was as bad as mine, lol, but he was really enjoying his time at Mass and I thought that was great.

<< 4. Arriving after the procession enters >>

I agree.

<< 5. Leaving before the procession leaves.>>

Again, I agree. There’s one woman who takes her purse with her as she and her daughter go to Communion and walk out after receiving. My own father used to get to Mass late, stand in the back and leave before it was over.

<< 6. EM’s wearing jeans >>

I agree.

<< 7. Cell phones >>

I agree.

<< 8. Crying babies that should be in the cry room >>

Again, I agree.

<< 9. Basically, anything that is disruptive to the mass and draws attention away from the ceremony itself >>

And lastly, I agree. The disruption we had with the sword wielding, choking kid disrupted a lot of people in both aisles.

 

[suppliant]

Some of these no-nos (turning around, making a brief comment to your neighbtor) are based on the teachings of sister Eucharsitica, who had the power to slam you over the back or even in the belly with a yardstick in the old days.

Wow you must have been in my grade school, only her name was Sister Jerome.

 

[PseudoHermit_22]

How do you know that these people dont give their time perhaps or their money directly to the charities that the Church supports?
.

I hope so. And was going to mention this might be the case. I know it’s best to give in secret and I hope many do.

I do not want to judge them because there is much more I could be doing and that is my main concern.

 

[Faith1960]

<< We are lucky enough to have grandparents just down the street from us and an option for child care during a small time of the year, but please keep in mind many parents do not have options and have to bring their kids to mass. I only ask that you be a bit more charitable. If the parents are doing all they can then I don’t think it is fair to be so harsh on them. >>

When the parents ignore the behavior, look at the child and allow it to continue or say something to get the child to stop it but allow the child to remain in the pew (or aisle) while disrupting other parishioners instead of taking him or her out, they aren’t doing all the can. I’m a parent as well and would never have allowed my daughter to continue behaving this way in any public setting, not just Mass.

 

[KatieD]

A couple of no-no’s:
Cell phones - during Mass one Sunday a phone rang, and our priest, who was new in the parish at the time, said that unless God was calling the owner shouldn’t answer it!

Disrespectful kids - recently the teenager in front of me sat with his feet on the seat in front of him (we have chairs, not pews). His mom said nothing and it drove me crazy!

 

[Faith1960]

<< LOL I think you just have a problem with kids at mass, pretty much everyhting a child will do gets under your skin.>>

Oh gosh, NOT AT ALL. I love seeing children at Mass and there are plenty of them who are capable of not jumping up and down, climbing all over the pews, refusing to listen to their parents, and swinging books around. And there are others who still have touble in that area but their parents take them outside or in the lobby until they settle down.

<< My son is five and he wispers to me about what’s going on and I explain it to him. He takes the Missal and tries to follow along, and if he gets confused he asks and I encourage it. >>

If that’s the extent of it, that’s wonderful. Is that the extent of it or does he sing and talk about his friends and what he wants to do after you leave and anything else under the sun that he can think of so that the entire Mass is spent conversing with one another and barely a minute spent paying attention to Mass? And are you both whispering quietly or loud enough that everyone in front of you and behind you hear the entire conversation?

<< It sure beats being told to shut up, then getting smacked in the mouth after Mass like my dad did to me. I had no idea what was going on during the Mass until well into my 20’s, (we were well behaved though) >>

There are more choices than to talk all throughout Mass or get hit.

<< My Church doesn’t have a cry room and I feel for the poor Moms who have to deal with the nasty looks from people because her 9 month old is CRYING Heavens NO! One Mass this poor woman had two kids who were very bad admitedly but no older than three, one woman must’ve turned around and gave this woman the look of death no fewer than 20 times. The woman was obviously upset from it and packed the kids up and left. I’m a regular at Mass and have never seen her since.>>

Had she been considerate of her fellow parishioners and whispered “I’m sorry” while taking her kids out into the lobby or outside for a while, I doubt that anyone would have minded the disruption. If she sat there and let her kids act up so long that another parishioner had the time to give her dirty looks at least 20 times, the mother obviously allowed the behavior to continue for a long time and didn’t care too much about what anyone else thought. I’ve met parents like that before, not from church, though, and they usually get offended when someone else comments on their kid’s behavior. They usually don’t get embarrassed they get angry that someone would have the audacity to not find their child’s behavior acceptable or even cute.

<< These topics are the worst, they make me feel like I better sit down, shut up, and don’t breathe too loudly or people are judging me and my family. I mean blue jeans or children eating a granola bar is really that bad? >>

Again, I hve no problem with churchgoers wearing jeans. Letting the kids scarf down junk food during Mass is inappropriate, not to mention messy.

<< I have a baby on the way should my family and I not attend Mass until the child is able to sit quietly for an hour and a half? >>

Do you see that as your only option?

 

[Faith1960]

<< That is just wrong and very sad.

---

If you really want to know mine, it’s this:

-Seeing a dollar bill in the collection basket.

I go to a church that is full of very well to do folks in a very nice and affluent Los Angeles neighborhood–though I am by no means wealthy (just getting by) but while I try not to judge, I think some of the folks in my parish should put a little more effort in to trying to peel off a little more for those less fortunate than they. It makes me laugh. The parking lot is full of Mercedes, BMWs, Lexus’s, etc and these people are dropping a buck in the collection…sad. >>

I think it’s very sad and wrong to judge the amount people are putting into the collection basket. One has absolutely no idea how another person spends their money, what their financial situation is, if they give to the parish outside of the weekly collection or if they’re donating their time in helping in other ways.
Some people give a large sum monthly and then toss an additional buck or two during the week.
Some contribute even larger sums at other times.

 

[Faith1960]

<< I hope so. And was going to mention this might be the case. I know it’s best to give in secret and I hope many do.

I do not want to judge them because there is much more I could be doing and that is my main concern. >.

You do realize that by saying this below, it’s being judgemental, don’t you?

<<<think some of the folks in my parish should put a little more effort in to trying to peel off a little more for those less fortunate than they. It makes me laugh. The parking lot is full of Mercedes, BMWs, Lexus’s, etc and these people are dropping a buck in the collection…sad. >>>>