Mass no no's

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<< In my old parish, there was this one little girl about 3yo. Sometimes her family would go to the 5:15 Mass. Almost every time before Mass, she would go to where the statue of the Blessed Virgin was and would kneel in front of it for about 5 minutes and then go back to her family in the pews. Never a peep out of her.>>

Now that is sweet!

<< As for Cell Phones, I carry my 7/24 for business support reasons. I always make sure mine is set to “Manner” mode (buzzing). >>

I don’t have any problem with people carrying cell phones, I carry mine, too. I have a problem with hearing songs blasting out of someone’s pocket or purse during the homily or Creed. 😃
 
<< Second, we are harmed more by our breathren not being at Mass than being there. Would you wish they were home in bed? Do you think that is what Christ wants? Do you doubt that graces aren’t given to these people by just being there? >>

No, of course I don’t wish they’d stay home in bed. There are options between the two extremes. You know, the same type of parents who feel it’s their right as well as their children’s right to behave this way at Mass are the same ones who feel it’s their children’s right to hang over the back of the booth in restaurants while watching other people eat or allow them to go into someone’s home and be able to touch anything they want, believing that if something is valuable or breakable, it’s the resposibility of the home owner to put those things up out of the visitor’s child’s reach. It all comes down to basic manners and teaching our children right from wrong. Oftentimes teaching them will inconvenience the parent but that’s just the way it is. That’s part of being a parent. Better for the parent to be inconvenienced than people who don’t know them from Adam.
 
Does anybody know if it is wrong or innapropriate to kneel w/ your knees on the kneeler, but lean your butt back so it’s resting on the pew instead of kneeling w/ your thighs and back vertical?? I think it probably doesn’t matter, as long as you’re kneeling and being submissive before God, but I am just curious.

As a side note, I was a little disappointed in all of the judgemental responses in this thread. I see alot of things that annoy me too, but I don’t know what is going on in that person’s life so I try very hard not to judge and be critical. It is hard and I do not always win that battle, but I think it is an important one.

Chris
 
Faith1960 said:
<< Second, we are harmed more by our breathren not being at Mass than being there. Would you wish they were home in bed? Do you think that is what Christ wants? Do you doubt that graces aren’t given to these people by just being there? >>

No, of course I don’t wish they’d stay home in bed. There are options between the two extremes. You know, the same type of parents who feel it’s their right as well as their children’s right to behave this way at Mass are the same ones who feel it’s their children’s right to hang over the back of the booth in restaurants while watching other people eat or allow them to go into someone’s home and be able to touch anything they want, believing that if something is valuable or breakable, it’s the resposibility of the home owner to put those things up out of the visitor’s child’s reach. It all comes down to basic manners and teaching our children right from wrong. Oftentimes teaching them will inconvenience the parent but that’s just the way it is. That’s part of being a parent. Better for the parent to be inconvenienced than people who don’t know them from Adam.
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YOu are making a big jump and assumption about the parents of children who are noisy at Church and what the parents teach and allow in and out of Mass. Are there people who should have discerned their vocation better? Absolutely. But to assume that parents are inconvenienced in instructing their children on manners just because their child is disruptive in Mass is incorrect on most accounts. Also, being too strict can (and usually does) backfire. I have known many who were taught strictly and expected to behave at all hours of the day no matter where they were that the children ended up leaving the faith and entered into self-destructive mode. A balance is what is required and I believe that God is just laughing or shaking his head at all of us adults b/c of our annoyances at the children (because we, as His adult children can, and often are, more “childish” than His children children)
 
<< I think all Parishes should instill an old lady Mass where grumpy old ladies (and men) don’t have to be “annoyed by children”, then gather afterword and talk about how Vatican II ruined the Church, and a family Mass where Catholics with kids can feel comfortable if God forbid their two year old misbehaves, and they don’t have to be lambasted as terrible parents because their two year is doing what two year olds do. >>

:clapping: That’s a WONDERFUL idea. I wish my parish would impliment it, although I’m not exactly old just yet. 😉 The parents who think it’s simply adorable and the kid is just being a kid when he or she is jumping around, chewing gum, pulling it out of his/her mouth and wrapping it around his/her finger to make little gum projects - then trying to grab other people’s hand during the Sign of Peace etc. can have their own Masses where the church is full of worshipers who find that behavior one Kodak moment after another and we can have ours.

In fact that’s my Mass no-no, old ladies giving overwhelmed Moms repeated nasty looks when her children are less than perfect. Turn around and mind your business…
 
I live in a remote area and attend a really small parish. Avg. age of parishoners would be around 45. We only have two babies at Church weekly, and this is so sad to me.

A baby crying signifies growth, and it is music to my ears.

As far as it being distracting, I don’t have a problem. I concentrate on a stained glass window right above the Alter, it is a likeness of Jesus. I used to have trouble concentrating until someone suggested I do this, and it really works. I no longer look around like I used to, and I feel closer to God, now that I have learned this form of Meditation.

It is going to be impossible to control other people’s bad behavior/bad parenting techniques…It will leave you frustrated, and that is the distraction. Pick a statue, the crucifix, or a window and try this.
 
<< In fact that’s my Mass no-no, old ladies giving overwhelmed Moms repeated nasty looks when her children are less than perfect. Turn around and mind your business… >>

If these moms are overwhelmed, one can just imagine how distraught they’d be if they actually tried to parent the child instead of talking right along with them, chuckling at their behavior or just throwing their hands up in the air with the attitude that this is they way s/he is and there’s nothing I can do about it.
 
Faith1960 said:
<< In fact that’s my Mass no-no, old ladies giving overwhelmed Moms repeated nasty looks when her children are less than perfect. Turn around and mind your business…
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If these moms are overwhelmed, one can just imagine how distraught they’d be if they actually tried to parent the child instead of talking right along with them, chuckling at their behavior or just throwing their hands up in the air with the attitude that this is they way s/he is and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Again, you’re assuming a WHOLE lot!
 
Pretty obvious some of you are offended by the truth of the gospel and you are more interested in busting me when you are the ones that can’t come off the wallet. So criticize me when God knows you are cheap. Have a wonderful day.
 
credno said:
Does anybody know if it is wrong or innapropriate to kneel w/ your knees on the kneeler, but lean your butt back so it’s resting on the pew instead of kneeling w/ your thighs and back vertical?? I think it probably doesn’t matter, as long as you’re kneeling and being submissive before God, but I am just curious.

As a side note, I was a little disappointed in all of the judgemental responses in this thread. I see alot of things that annoy me too, but I don’t know what is going on in that person’s life so I try very hard not to judge and be critical. It is hard and I do not always win that battle, but I think it is an important one.

Chris
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That is up to you (the kneeling/butt thing). I went to Nun run Catholic schools and was always taught to kneel straight up, no butt on the pew. The purpose of kneeling is showing reverance to God, putting your butt on the pew (in my opinion) is being lazy.
This is not talking about those that have back problems or other medical conditions. I had an older man in front of me this past sunday who could hardly walk. His way of showing reverance because he could not kneel, was to sit at the edge of the pew in a humble posture. It also took him 4 tries to stand up during the Eucharistic rite. It really warmed my heart to see this dedication.
 
<< Faith, maybe you should sit in the front pew at mass and put blinders on so you can’t see anything that’s not directly in front of you. >>

Why would I do that? One of the most misbehaved kids is always in one of the front pews and some of the racket is heard all throughout the church, anyway. 🙂

<< Or better yet, why don’t you bring your dogs to mass and see how well they behave. After all, if you’ve trained them correctly they should be able to sit still and be quiet through out mass, right? >>

I don’t believe that dogs are allowed in Mass but even if they were, they’d act up from seeing all the strangers despite being well trained, so I wouldn’t bring them. Or if I did and they started acting up, I’d take them outside. :hmmm:

You know, I just don’t get the attitude of some parents I see at Mass. Like I’ve said, I’m a parent and this kind of behavior was just such a non-issue for us. I’m not saying that our daughter was perfect but she was taught from a very early age what is and isn’t appropriate public behavior and I honestly do not recall a time when she did the things we’re talking about here. If she had, my husband or I wouldn’t have thought twice about taking her outside or into the lobby. I never would have just shrugged the behavior off and thought that if someone doesn’t like how she’s acting, tough.
 
Faith1960 said:
<< “Bring your family to the front to make it easier for them to focus on what is happening on the altar and for the time being your worship @ Mass is to spend it teaching your kids how to behave. This is your prayer.” >>

That’s a great idea, assuming those same parents would actually spend the time trying to teach their kids to behave instead of letting them plunk down in the aisle because junior likes sitting on the floor instead of a pew, letting them practice backbends over the front of the pew to where he looks like he’s going to fall on his head at any minute, or letting them munch away leaving crumbs and milk to dry on the pews and kneelers.
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Parental involvement is important here, but you can’t overcome the influence of the overall atmosphere at services where there is lack of reverence among the adults. My kids were very well behaved by Novus Ordo standards, but since we’ve been going to the Traditional Latin Mass, and they’ve seen the kids who have been brought up that way, they have improved exponentially.
 
Faith maybe you can watch the Mass on T.V. and an EMHC can bring you the Host? This way no children or people can bother you.

If you had a well behaved daughter that’s great you’re lucky, my son is very well behaved too. That doesn’t mean I think I’m a better parent than parents of acting up children. Some kids are more rambunxious than others, no matter how much discipline or parenting you do getting them to behave to your standards would be impossible. I’ve seen when a child is told to stop it they throw a tantrum perhaps the parents is letting the child sit int he aisle so they don’t cause a huge scene during the consecration?

My 2 year old nephew is just a hell-raiser, he couldn’t sit still for more than 5 seconds, it’s just who he is.
 
<< YOu are making a big jump and assumption about the parents of children who are noisy at Church and what the parents teach and allow in and out of Mass. >>

I’m making an assumption about what I’ve seen among people I know?

<< Are there people who should have discerned their vocation better? Absolutely. But to assume that parents are inconvenienced in instructing their children on manners just because their child is disruptive in Mass is incorrect on most accounts. >>

Not from what I’ve seen or among people I’ve personally known.

<< Also, being too strict can (and usually does) backfire. I have known many who were taught strictly and expected to behave at all hours of the day no matter where they were that the children ended up leaving the faith and entered into self-destructive
mode. >>

Expecting a child to keep hands, feet and objects to themselves, not allowing them to scarf up candy then choke on it during Mass is being “too strict” and will cause the child to leave their faith and become drug addicts or engage in other dangerous behaviors? I’ve never heard or such a thing.
 
#1 no-no… If I correct my child… do not coddle her or tell me I was wrong to do so. Even if I seemed too strict, you don’t know what went on before we got there.

You’d be amazed how often this happens. Usually it’s my relative who tell me I’m wrong and offer extra hugs to my daughter but it happens with strangers as well.

Once after church a man actually came to me in the parking lot and informed me that I was too strict and that my then 3yo dd was perfectly behaved and an angel. (BTW, during that service my dd had gotten onto the floor and attempted to lay down under the pew and tap on the underside of it. I whispered to her that she must sit beside me on the pew and after that she behaved.)
 
<< If these moms are overwhelmed, one can just imagine how distraught they’d be if they actually tried to parent the child instead of talking right along with them, chuckling at their behavior or just throwing their hands up in the air with the attitude that this is they way s/he is and there’s nothing I can do about it.>>

<<Again, you’re assuming a WHOLE lot!>>

It isn’t an assumption, it’s a fact.
 
Faith1960 said:
<< If these moms are overwhelmed, one can just imagine how distraught they’d be if they actually tried to parent the child instead of talking right along with them, chuckling at their behavior or just throwing their hands up in the air with the attitude that this is they way s/he is and there’s nothing I can do about it.
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<<Again, you’re assuming a WHOLE lot!>>

It isn’t an assumption, it’s a fact.

If you are not the parent and do not know the parent’s thinking, then yes, it IS an assumption on your part. You are NOT the individual parent you are annoyed with therefore you have NO IDEA what the “fact” of their life is and their view of their child’s behavior.
 
Faith1960 said:
<< ]I, too, have a family friendly parish and consider it a blessing. My priest has no problem admonishing older who know better while encouraging tolerance to the younger children who have not yet learned proper manners. I prefer a loving environment to a strict, but quieter environment. >>

Maybe that’s one of the differences between you and I. I don’t view parents who allow their kids to be disruptive anywhere as fostering a loving environment. :rolleyes:
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Faith, I’m not sure what happens to the quote feature in all of your posts, but it’s not working! It makes it very hard to read your posts, and tell who said what. 🙂
 
<< Parental involvement is important here, but you can’t overcome the influence of the overall atmosphere at services where there is lack of reverence among the adults. My kids were very well behaved by Novus Ordo standards, but since we’ve been going to the Traditional Latin Mass, and they’ve seen the kids who have been brought up that way, they have improved exponentially. >>

I know what you mean. The atmosphere has a lot to do with this, too. As far as I know, we don’t have any TLMs near me but I might look online to see where they are and if they’re close enough to make the drive.
 
<< Faith, I’m not sure what happens to the quote feature in all of your posts, but it’s not working! It makes it very hard to read your posts, and tell who said what. 🙂 >>

Sorry. I’ve been using these little arrows to dictate what I’m quoting because I haven’t been able to get the quote feature to appear in that window like everyone elses. :mad:
Someone once PMd me and tried to walk me thought it but they still wouldn’t show up that way.
 
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