Mass obligation and attendance problems

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mcapja

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I have asked my priest and have never gotten a satisfactory answer. I am 66, can’t walk more than a few feet (even walking to the altar would be impossible for me), haven’t enough strength to push my own wheelchair, have many, many other conditions and the hospital sees more of me than my sons do. My husband is not Catholic and had a stroke last summer ( a few days after I had one) and is weak and though able to drive spends weekends sleeping so that he can work during the week to support us till he can retire at age 70 in two years. I don’t feel he is well enough to drive me and I can’t drive and there is no one else to either. All things considered, must I still go to mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation? He is not well and shouldn’t be working … and to list what all is wrong with me would probably take up far too much space here. OH … and my priest says ‘… call and have someone bring you communion.’

Thank you.
 
Hello there,

I’ve just read both threads of yours with interest.

When you go to hospital who takes you there? Surely that same person could take you to Mass also, and place your wheelchair up at the very front, near the Altar, and you could receive Communion easily, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way”

I think it’s brilliant that you’ve come back to Church after 40 years, “Welcome Home” Perhaps you could speak more openly to your confessor, tell him everything you explained to us here and I’m sure he could help. And if you don’t already do so, pray the Rosary each and every day, for your husband, yourself, and all humanity.

John 19:27
Eddy Barry
 
I would watch mass on ewtn or a local channel or on the radio. Then have communion brought to you. Many people in my parish do it that my. That sounds like the best you can do.
 
Have you thought of asking another parishioner that you know that lives nearby you that can give you a ride to and from Mass so you can attend? Perhaps call the parish office, and see if they can make a note in the bulletin that you are searching out for a ride due to your circumstances & have the office call you back if you do not want your contact details published. I am sure you may not be the only person who wants to go to Mass but cannot drive.

Does your community offer a ride service (bus, van, or volunteer with their own car) of some kind to take seniors & the disabled to appointments and stuff? I would think taking people to and from church on Saturday evenings or Sundays is done by some type of ride service.

My mother often gives a ride to a woman who lives very close by to her parish due to the woman’s health issues not allowing her to drive at all. My late grandmother when she was alive got a ride from one of several family members or her best friend who lived down the street from her to Mass. My maternal grandmother gets a ride from her daughter and her husband for Sunday Mass also even though she lives in an assisted living place.

If you are not able to locate a ride to and from your parish for Mass, and have exhausted all possibilities for transport then you are not committing a sin as you have done what you can to get yourself there. It would be a sin not to attempt to ask someone in your parish or a community resource for older people to get a ride.
 
mcapja said:
I have asked my priest and have never gotten a satisfactory answer. I am 66, can’t walk more than a few feet (even walking to the altar would be impossible for me), haven’t enough strength to push my own wheelchair, have many, many other conditions and the hospital sees more of me than my sons do. My husband is not Catholic and had a stroke last summer ( a few days after I had one) and is weak and though able to drive spends weekends sleeping so that he can work during the week to support us till he can retire at age 70 in two years. I don’t feel he is well enough to drive me and I can’t drive and there is no one else to either. All things considered, must I still go to mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation? He is not well and shouldn’t be working … and to list what all is wrong with me would probably take up far too much space here. OH … and my priest says ‘… call and have someone bring you communion.’

Thank you.
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We, your fellow Catholics, WANT you to be with us at the Holy Mass! Please do call the parish office and tell them your situation. There’s an excellent possibility that someone will volunteer to pick you up and get you to Mass and back. And, yes, you should be on the list of people to be brought Communion, for the times you cannot make it to church. For another reason, it sounds as though you need prayer from your community and you could also participate in the Annotating of the Sick. Our parish does that periodically during Mass. It’s a healing sacrament, not limited to people who are dying.

Please let the community help you. Call the parish office.
 
mcapja said:
All things considered, must I still go to mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation?
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MUST you? No. You are in ill health and rely upon others to take you to Mass. You cannot do what is impossible. If your husband is not well enough to take you, and you cannot arrange for someone else to do so, you are not committing any sin if you are unable to attend Mass.

Certainly you can ask if there are any sort of ride programs and people willing to assist you, but if there are not then you have done what you can to get to Mass.
mcapja said:
OH … and my priest says ‘… call and have someone bring you communion.’
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Listen to your priest. The parish provide communion to the homebound as a source of strength and grace. Sign up for this ministry, and when you cannot get to Mass you will be able to receive the Eucharist through this ministry.
 
MissRose73 said:
Have you thought of asking another parishioner that you know that lives nearby you that can give you a ride to and from Mass so you can attend? Perhaps call the parish office, and see if they can make a note in the bulletin that you are searching out for a ride due to your circumstances & have the office call you back if you do not want your contact details published. I am sure you may not be the only person who wants to go to Mass but cannot drive.

Does your community offer a ride service (bus, van, or volunteer with their own car) of some kind to take seniors & the disabled to appointments and stuff? I would think taking people to and from church on Saturday evenings or Sundays is done by some type of ride service.

My mother often gives a ride to a woman who lives very close by to her parish due to the woman’s health issues not allowing her to drive at all. My late grandmother when she was alive got a ride from one of several family members or her best friend who lived down the street from her to Mass. My maternal grandmother gets a ride from her daughter and her husband for Sunday Mass also even though she lives in an assisted living place.

If you are not able to locate a ride to and from your parish for Mass, and have exhausted all possibilities for transport then you are not committing a sin as you have done what you can to get yourself there. It would be a sin not to attempt to ask someone in your parish or a community resource for older people to get a ride.
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While on the whole, I agree with you, this is more than simply giving someone a ride. The OP stated she is in a wheelchair and cannot push it herself. Having a grandmother who is in a wheelchair, I have a good understanding of what it takes to get her somewhere, what I must do while there, and what it takes to get her back home. This is NOT something just just any person cand do. Getting the wheelchair in and out of the vehicle, pushing the wheelchair, assisting with limited mobility-- that is far beyond the typical “ride share” program.

It can certainly be done. But, many of the ride share and “take you places” services are run by older people. They may not be able to deal with the wheelchair, and they would also have to get her in/out of mass and likely stay during mass.

So, I think it may be difficult for the OP to find assistance, and we should not make her distressed by implying she has to exhaust every possible avenue to get a ride to church.
 
1ke said:
MUST you? No. You are in ill health and rely upon others to take you to Mass. You cannot do what is impossible. If your husband is not well enough to take you, and you cannot arrange for someone else to do so, you are not committing any sin if you are unable to attend Mass.

Certainly you can ask if there are any sort of ride programs and people willing to assist you, but if there are not then you have done what you can to get to Mass.

Listen to your priest. The parish provide communion to the homebound as a source of strength and grace. Sign up for this ministry, and when you cannot get to Mass you will be able to receive the Eucharist through this ministry.
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Yes, this is lovely advice.

Nothing more that I could add other than you are in my prayers.
 
Also ask the priest to visit occasionally to hear your confession if you wish and to give you the anointing of the sick. Our priests visit the homebound three times a year on a regular schedule.
 
mcapja said:
I have asked my priest and have never gotten a satisfactory answer. I am 66, can’t walk more than a few feet (even walking to the altar would be impossible for me), haven’t enough strength to push my own wheelchair, have many, many other conditions and the hospital sees more of me than my sons do. My husband is not Catholic and had a stroke last summer ( a few days after I had one) and is weak and though able to drive spends weekends sleeping so that he can work during the week to support us till he can retire at age 70 in two years. I don’t feel he is well enough to drive me and I can’t drive and there is no one else to either. All things considered, must I still go to mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation? He is not well and shouldn’t be working … and to list what all is wrong with me would probably take up far too much space here. OH … and my priest says ‘… call and have someone bring you communion.’

Thank you.
Click to expand...
Oh, may God bless you both, you dear, dear people!:hug1: Please know that no matter what your present physical state may be, that you are most beloved of God! There are times in all of our lives when due to surgery, illness, short or long term challenges, that we simply cannot attend Mass at our parish. Eucharistic Ministers are there for this reason! And your priest would love to know if he is welcome to stop by as well. Please don’t be shy about this, and please do not feel that you “must” do anything, as age and infirmity (one or the other or both) will affect all of us. :angel1:

Wisdom comes with age, and great storytelling. I hope someone will think of visiting you and asking to record some of your thoughts. I hope you will journal a little too. :heaven:

Of course, if there is a time when you feel that you could ask a friend to take you to Mass, that is certainly good for the soul. In church, Holy Communion, The Blessed Sacrament :highprayer:can be taken to those in wheelchairs if you only let the ushers know when you first arrive. Yes, it does require a strong person and a safe driver to help you in and out of the car, and to make sure you feel comfortable. But if you call the parish, you may be surprised at what is available for you.

I am so sorry for any pain you experience, but please know that even if you are bed-ridden and unable to walk for some reason, God is all the more close. Yet His people, the Family of God, :grouphug:should surround you with practical help as well.

I recently had very serious surgery for cancer. For the first month after surgery, I could rarely go anywhere, but I called upon my friends to visit. After that, I was happy to attend Mass when I could. At the very same time, my husband was going through chemotherapy for colon cancer, so we were taking turns helping each other. At one point, we had surgeries on the same day and needed two people to get us home:crutches: into bed and to take care of our car! People stopped by with food, prayers and best wishes. But people need to know what we want. They may not always realize we are in any need at all.

I may add here too, that it is most likely time to have a serious conversation with your sons. Grown children often don’t realize the full extent of their parent’s needs and wishes. I do hope and pray that they will step up and be strong and helpful for you now at this time of your life.

During our sugery/chemo time, we realized:gopray2: that God was closer to us than ever!

“When I am weak, He is strong,” is a wonderful scripture.

It’s good to feel comfortable asking for what you need from your parish. From what I have seen, people are overjoyed to stop by, to assist, to bring the Holy Eucharist. I pray that you will realize how very beloved of God you and your husband are. My heart goes out to you, thinking of how your husband still works and has to rest on weekends. God our Heavenly Father certainly understands all these things.

I hope you can share some of your life experiences with others. On those days when you are extra tired, sometimes you can still begin to write a poem or jot down a memory in a journal. Who knows who you may bless! In the meantime, please let your priest and your parish office know what you are going through. :heaven:

Many Blessings to you both
Kathryn Ann
 
mcapja said:
I have asked my priest and have never gotten a satisfactory answer. I am 66, can’t walk more than a few feet (even walking to the altar would be impossible for me), haven’t enough strength to push my own wheelchair, have many, many other conditions and the hospital sees more of me than my sons do. My husband is not Catholic and had a stroke last summer ( a few days after I had one) and is weak and though able to drive spends weekends sleeping so that he can work during the week to support us till he can retire at age 70 in two years. I don’t feel he is well enough to drive me and I can’t drive and there is no one else to either. All things considered, must I still go to mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation? He is not well and shouldn’t be working … and to list what all is wrong with me would probably take up far too much space here. OH … and my priest says ‘… call and have someone bring you communion.’

Thank you.
Click to expand...
My suggestion is that you listen to your priest. I also want to let you know that for years I went with my family to bring communion to the homebound, and after communion we would stay and visit for approximately and hour and chat about the lady’s life. We did that for a few years until she passed away. It has been such a rewarding and spiritually enriching experience that now my son is pushing to get involved with that ministry again. We will never forget her and now we ask for her intercession.
 
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