Mass Obligation and Confirmation Question

[malvis]

Hi,
I am an unconfirmed Catholic, but have received the other sacraments until then (baptism, first communion, reconciliation). I married outside of the Catholic church and left the faith to become Muslim around the time when I was supposed to be confirmed. I am still married, but want to return to the Catholic church some day in the future. For many reasons I cannot do this publicly at this time (believe me I would do anything for this to happen right now) and am keeping this desire in my heart. I have spoken to a priest who also said that because I have an otherwise stable family life for my children it would be ok for me to take this process slowly. I have though gone to confession about it. My first main question is whether I still have an obligation to attend Sunday Mass even though I cannot take communion and am not confirmed. Secondly, is it possible to become confirmed privately. It would not be possible for me to let anybody know that I have changed my faith for many reasons, but it is deeply important for me on a personal level to know that I am a confirmed Catholic. Please advise as to some steps that I could/should take while keeping in mind the situation that I am in . Thanks.

 

[mom2em]

I too am an unconfirmed Catholic. I having begun the process though to hopefully be confirmed this year. Terribly excited, as I am sure you understand. While my family, who are also Catholics, don’t fully understand, they’re more Catholic in name (here’s hoping my daughter and I might rub off on them) I have no fear of them knowing. I don’t know your situation but it does seem different in that respect.

But confirmation or no, I think (and I’m not much of anybody really) that we would have a Sunday obligation to keep. It’s one I am happy to keep. I think, if you are able to go, then one should go. We are called to go.

I’m not sure if I’m making much sense. I’m sure someone with a more helpful answer will post soon enough.

 

[malvis]

Mom2em, thanks for your kind response. It does seem to make sense that I should still have to go to mass. I hope all goes well with your process of confirmation. It really is exciting to find a pathway home and how wonderful for your daughter too.

 

[Matthew_Holford]

Hi,
I am an unconfirmed Catholic, but have received the other sacraments until then (baptism, first communion, reconciliation). I married outside of the Catholic church and left the faith to become Muslim around the time when I was supposed to be confirmed. I am still married, but want to return to the Catholic church some day in the future. For many reasons I cannot do this publicly at this time (believe me I would do anything for this to happen right now) and am keeping this desire in my heart. I have spoken to a priest who also said that because I have an otherwise stable family life for my children it would be ok for me to take this process slowly. I have though gone to confession about it. My first main question is whether I still have an obligation to attend Sunday Mass even though I cannot take communion and am not confirmed. Secondly, is it possible to become confirmed privately. It would not be possible for me to let anybody know that I have changed my faith for many reasons, but it is deeply important for me on a personal level to know that I am a confirmed Catholic. Please advise as to some steps that I could/should take while keeping in mind the situation that I am in . Thanks.

As you are in contact with a priest, I would advise you to pose these questions to him. I’m not sure about your Sunday obligation if you’ve formally defected from the Catholic Church. Likewise, I don’t know if Confirmation can be administered in private. So, you’re better off talking to the priest. You will also be able to go in to much more detail in a private conversation with a priest than you can on a public forum.

 

[puzzleannie]

every Catholic who has reached the age of reason has the Mass obligation, but the priest who is advising you is the best one to ask about your personal situation, since there may well be a good reason why you cannot attend now as you wish.

 

[Boulder257]

As you are in contact with a priest, I would advise you to pose these questions to him. I’m not sure about your Sunday obligation if you’ve formally defected from the Catholic Church. Likewise, I don’t know if Confirmation can be administered in private. So, you’re better off talking to the priest. You will also be able to go in to much more detail in a private conversation with a priest than you can on a public forum.

You are going to get alot of answers here, but people are going to be speculating on your situation. It sounds like your situation is pretty difficult, detailed, and maybe even dangerous to an extent. I think it best to continue counseling with your Priest and pose these exact questions to him. Someone here, while certainly good intentioned, may give you advice that they would not have provided if they knew the entire story. Not to mention it sounds like you need to keep this a secret. The Internet/computer is not as private as some think and I would hate to think that your journey home was corralled because of a forum post.

I will pray for you.

 

[malvis]

Thanks for the feedback and concern everybody. The reason I didn’t ask the priest is because he was transferred to another parish. I just haven’t had a chance to go back and speak to someone else. I thought that this forum would at least give me an idea of what my obligations are. As far as trying to be cautious, it is not really an issue of safety, but of family stability for me at this point. I want to ensure that my children’s lives aren’t affected right now. Again, I thank you for the advice.

 

[thistle]

There is another issue here that hasn’t been discussed yet. Rejecting the Christian faith to become a Muslim is apostasy which carries an automatic excommunication. The OP would also have to discuss with the priest how to get this lifted. I know most priests have the faculty delegated to them to lift the excommunication from those who have had abortions and have repented but I don’t know if the same applies for apostasy.

 

[malvis]

Hmmm. I would like to know more about that. I had quite a lengthy conversation with the priest and I also went through confession. I can also assure you that the particular church I went to is well regarded. This (excommunication) was not mentioned. I was told that because I was a baptized Catholic who repented that I was still considered “within the fold”. He did say though that my marriage would need to be blessed by the church. Anybody else have more to say on apostasy? I thought that this would apply to those who flatly rejected the faith without repenting or making a sincere effort to return. For what it is worth, when I left the faith I neither knew much about the Islamic faith nor the core Catholic faith. It is only within the last couple of years that I wanted to explore the questions that I had about Catholicism and find if there were answers to the questions that I had as a youth. Despite going through Catholic schools and education I, as a young person, did not understand the faith in the same way I do as an adult. But, this is true of many things.

 

[thistle]

Hmmm. I would like to know more about that. I had quite a lengthy conversation with the priest and I also went through confession. I can also assure you that the particular church I went to is well regarded. This (excommunication) was not mentioned. I was told that because I was a baptized Catholic who repented that I was still considered “within the fold”. He did say though that my marriage would need to be blessed by the church. Anybody else have more to say on apostasy? I thought that this would apply to those who flatly rejected the faith without repenting or making a sincere effort to return. For what it is worth, when I left the faith I neither knew much about the Islamic faith nor the core Catholic faith. It is only within the last couple of years that I wanted to explore the questions that I had about Catholicism and find if there were answers to the questions that I had as a youth. Despite going through Catholic schools and education I, as a young person, did not understand the faith in the same way I do as an adult. But, this is true of many things.

Apostasy is the total rejection by a baptized person of the Christian faith he once professed.
This sin carries with it automatic excommunication.
Even though a Catholic truly repents and wants to return to the fold the excommunication has to be lifted first. Maybe the priest forgot or maybe he has been delegated the faculty to lift such an excommunication.
Either way you should check with him.