Mass Obligation for the Elderly - what should I do?

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skyching

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Hey CAF,

My entire family is Catholic; however, my grandmother at home and my aunt and cousins who live near us appear not to fully know or practice the faith. I may have tried too hard to convince my grandmother to attend Mass for the Assumption today. She refused to go on the grounds that she was too exhausted from walking (a frequently painful activity for her). Is this just cause to miss Mass? She has told me that it’s not wrong to miss Mass. I’ve tried to tell her that it’s a mortal sin, but my Chinese is limited and so is her English. My aunt and cousins also did not go today, saying that they need to stay home as repairmen work on their house. Did they have just cause?

I know I am not the Holy Spirit and He is the one who changes hearts, but I also feel guilty for not having tried harder to inform them on their faith, only occasionally discussing the issue with my parents. Should I go to Confession? I think I will go anyway to ask the priest about this situation. But am I not being scrupulous for thinking I myself may be in mortal sin for lack of trying?
 
You tried. Was it not enough or too much, only God knows that. Sometimes example is the best teacher or convincer.
 
You tried. I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it since God lives in your heart and he understands. When the repair people are at the house, considering how much these guys cost, it is only natural for your family to stay at home. God gives us graces when we don’t know or if we are unable to attend mass due to work, family, health etc. Mass is important and so although it is recommended that we don’t miss mass especially the days of obligation, if life happens, it happens and so all we can do it roll with the punches.
 
If your grandmother is too infirm to attend without a lot of pain there is no requirement to attend mass. I am on 24 hour oxygen and have been told I don’t need to attend. You did the best you could with the rest of your family. Pray to the Holy Spirit for Its’ intervention.
 
Petaro said:
If your grandmother is too infirm to attend without a lot of pain there is no requirement to attend mass. I am on 24 hour oxygen and have been told I don’t need to attend. You did the best you could with the rest of your family. Pray to the Holy Spirit for Its’ intervention.
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Pardon me, but I must correct this. You should have typed “His intervention.” God is not an it.

Mother Angelica would have gone nuts reading that.

May The Holy Spirit bring us His Blessings and His Grace. Amen.
 
It is not your responsibility to police your entire family. Pray for them. Set a good example.
 
skyching said:
Hey CAF,

My entire family is Catholic; however, my grandmother at home and my aunt and cousins who live near us appear not to fully know or practice the faith. I may have tried too hard to convince my grandmother to attend Mass for the Assumption today. She refused to go on the grounds that she was too exhausted from walking (a frequently painful activity for her). Is this just cause to miss Mass? She has told me that it’s not wrong to miss Mass. I’ve tried to tell her that it’s a mortal sin, but my Chinese is limited and so is her English. My aunt and cousins also did not go today, saying that they need to stay home as repairmen work on their house. Did they have just cause?

I know I am not the Holy Spirit and He is the one who changes hearts, but I also feel guilty for not having tried harder to inform them on their faith, only occasionally discussing the issue with my parents. Should I go to Confession? I think I will go anyway to ask the priest about this situation. But am I not being scrupulous for thinking I myself may be in mortal sin for lack of trying?
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Personally I think you did all you could. You told them that they should attend and they didn’t. Now it was up to them. I go to Mass every day and I plan my life around Mass times, not the other way around. Your grandmother may have had a good reason not to attend, but only she knows if she did, Also, keep working on them in a spirit of love and concern. You can help change hearts and minds also. God bless.
 
skyching said:
Hey CAF,

My entire family is Catholic; however, my grandmother at home and my aunt and cousins who live near us appear not to fully know or practice the faith. I may have tried too hard to convince my grandmother to attend Mass for the Assumption today. She refused to go on the grounds that she was too exhausted from walking (a frequently painful activity for her). Is this just cause to miss Mass? She has told me that it’s not wrong to miss Mass. I’ve tried to tell her that it’s a mortal sin, but my Chinese is limited and so is her English. My aunt and cousins also did not go today, saying that they need to stay home as repairmen work on their house. Did they have just cause?

I know I am not the Holy Spirit and He is the one who changes hearts, but I also feel guilty for not having tried harder to inform them on their faith, only occasionally discussing the issue with my parents. Should I go to Confession? I think I will go anyway to ask the priest about this situation. But am I not being scrupulous for thinking I myself may be in mortal sin for lack of trying?
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Prayers …my husband is a cradle Catholic and does not attend mass. At this point just pray and never give up …keep faith. the Lord changes hearts and He knows ours.
 
Your should talk to your parish priest and follow his advice. You could make an appointment with the parish secretary to talk to him or talk to him in confession.
I wouldn’t think you guilty of serious sin in this matter. I would think instead God is pleased with you over your concern for your family’s spiritual welfare. I don’t know about Chinese culture and their reactions, but maybe trying too hard would not help?
 
phil19034 said:
Pardon me, but I must correct this. You should have typed “His intervention.” God is not an it.

Mother Angelica would have gone nuts reading that.

May The Holy Spirit bring us His Blessings and His Grace. Amen.
Click to expand...
The Holy Spirit is a pure spirit like an angel, having no human gender, thus in correct English “It”. You may correctly genderise God only in the second Person of the Trinity, Our Jesus Christ, who is definitely a Man.
However, I can understand the term jarring on the nerves of any good Catholic as we use “it” as a term for an animal, or object. So, I want to make it perfectly clear that this is only a semantic issue over English and does not detract from our adoration and respect accorded correctly to the Paraclete, our Helper and our Hope.
 
Petaro said:
If your grandmother is too infirm to attend without a lot of pain there is no requirement to attend mass.
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I would imagine that sooner or later, many of us will come to the realization that we will be infirmal to the point where we can’t attend without a lot of discomfort. So many of us can’t kneel (or stand) as it is. We’ll just have to use our own judgements in this regard.
 
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