Mass on Mother's Day

[Linybaby]

Hello

I attended mass as I usually do and was particularly looking forward to this mass as it was Mother’s Day

During the homily I expected to hear about Our Lady but instead they asked for money again. The whole homily was about the from in our pew and how to fill it out. I was disappointed as I always loved the homily and Mother’s Day and Father’s Day as we always hear about our lady and saint Joseph.

This was not the first time we did that this year. It was more like the third or fourth time.

I will never understand the Catholic Church in this way…why must we have all expensive things? Why can’t we go back and have the simple churches??

I don’t know if I should keep quiet and just say I go for Jesus and not for the people? What would you do? Say something? Keep yourself anonymous? I do not like conflict but feel like the homily was completely inappropriate for this past weekend. Going to another church is not an option btw.

 

[Xantippe]

Hello

I attended mass as I usually do and was particularly looking forward to this mass as it was Mother’s Day

During the homily I expected to hear about Our Lady but instead they asked for money again. The whole homily was about the from in our pew and how to fill it out. I was disappointed as I always loved the homily and Mother’s Day and Father’s Day as we always hear about our lady and saint Joseph.

This was not the first time we did that this year. It was more like the third or fourth time.

I will never understand the Catholic Church in this way…why must we have all expensive things? Why can’t we go back and have the simple churches??

I don’t know if I should keep quiet and just say I go for Jesus and not for the people? What would you do? Say something? Keep yourself anonymous? I do not like conflict but feel like the homily was completely inappropriate for this past weekend. Going to another church is not an option btw.

Believe it or not, simple churches need to have roof repairs, too. The last time our old parish was rattling the tin cup for a new roof, they needed around $180k (I believe it wasn’t just the main church building–they were doing at least one other roof on the property).

Likewise, the secretary and the janitor need to pay their rent or mortgage and feed their kids and the lights need to be kept on and the water bill paid.

Everything costs money. If a parish is struggling financially, you’re going to hear about it. And if the parish community is unable to keep the parish afloat, eventually the parish is going to be closed.

Why don’t you take your pastor to lunch or ask him to dinner and ask what the situation is? You may find it very eye opening.

 

[Xantippe]

Everything gets much more expensive at the institutional level.

I recently learned that our kids’ private school (not parochial) pays $65k a year rent to the Protestant church that houses the school. And in a few years, the rent is going to balloon to around $93k a year. I also heard that if we were to build a new school from the ground up, it would cost in the neighborhood of $15 million. That blew my mind. (Fortunately, there are more economical plans afoot, but it is a seven figure project to renovate existing buildings into a new school.)

I suspect that if you knew the sort of numbers that your pastor is trying to cope with, you’d have more understanding as to why they keep asking for money.

Also, come to think of it, there are a lot of issues with new code requirements and handicapped access (which is also relevant for families with children in strollers). One of our local churches (which was not that old) used to have bathroom stalls that were all so small that I couldn’t really squeeze in with a baby in a stroller, so I can only imagine how anybody actually handicapped coped with that space. They recently did a renovation and (glory be!) one of the things they did was to add on so that there was finally a handicapped stall in the lady’s room (and hopefully for the men’s room, too).

 

[eightydeuce82]

Hello

I attended mass as I usually do and was particularly looking forward to this mass as it was Mother’s Day

During the homily I expected to hear about Our Lady but instead they asked for money again. The whole homily was about the from in our pew and how to fill it out. I was disappointed as I always loved the homily and Mother’s Day and Father’s Day as we always hear about our lady and saint Joseph.

This was not the first time we did that this year. It was more like the third or fourth time.

I will never understand the Catholic Church in this way…why must we have all expensive things? Why can’t we go back and have the simple churches??

I don’t know if I should keep quiet and just say I go for Jesus and not for the people? What would you do? Say something? Keep yourself anonymous? I do not like conflict but feel like the homily was completely inappropriate for this past weekend. Going to another church is not an option btw.

We never really did have “simple churches”. go to any hovel town in any poor country and you will usually see a beautiful house of God amongst the rubble and huts. All built by the people using the peoples money. This is the house that our God dwells in and it should be a source of the sacred and a sense of pride in the community. It is a visual sign of our faith and a teaching tool as well. Remember until the 1900s the majority of the Christian world could not read and many were taught the faith through the statuary and paintings and artwork in the churches as well as oral readings of the bible at mass. The whole minimalist simplicity thing is a really early persecuted church thing and then a mush later modern invention.

I certainly don’t think that the homily is a time for what you described thou. This is one reason I pass 3 catholic churches on the way to the one I attend. Poor liturgy, lack of reverence and the sacred, and honestly one that looks like a gymnasium that doesn’t even look like a church. When I walk into a church I want to have all my senses spark pointing me to God.

 

[eightydeuce82]

Hello

I attended mass as I usually do and was particularly looking forward to this mass as it was Mother’s Day

During the homily I expected to hear about Our Lady but instead they asked for money again. The whole homily was about the from in our pew and how to fill it out. I was disappointed as I always loved the homily and Mother’s Day and Father’s Day as we always hear about our lady and saint Joseph.

This was not the first time we did that this year. It was more like the third or fourth time.

I will never understand the Catholic Church in this way…why must we have all expensive things? Why can’t we go back and have the simple churches??

I don’t know if I should keep quiet and just say I go for Jesus and not for the people? What would you do? Say something? Keep yourself anonymous? I do not like conflict but feel like the homily was completely inappropriate for this past weekend. Going to another church is not an option btw.

Oh and to answer your question…SAY SOMETHING! Im a big fan of going to talk with the pastor and express your feelings.

I do it frequently but be polite and don’t be pushy. My pastor is on that modernist grey line and he teeters between wanting to go full protestant and back to orthodox catholic (usually after I talk with him. He had this crazy notion that if the music was better (protestant stuff) more people would come. I had a chat with him and told him that maybe if he played the old catholic hymns that everyone knows instead of allowing the coir lady inject crazy revival music that no one knows and its poorly done it might help keep people interested.

Last two weeks after the chat we even got LATIN! and it got raving reviews…So please say something there is a time and place for things at the sacrifice of the Mass isn’t one of those places to be pandering. In fact your priest should know better.

 

[Giggly_Giraffe]

“Mothers Day” is not universal in world. Yes, it is welcome and celebrated in the USA in May. I hope at the end of mass they had a blessing for mothers as ours did. Typically this is done for both Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.

May is universally the month for Mary, and there are many festivities we hold for her during May.

Collecting money for the archdiocese is important because the archdiocese has more influence on helping the poor, hungry, and lonely. It also helps the archdiocese determine how to educate upcoming priests. Yes, hearing a homely only about this subject can be hear the wrong way if you are desiring the church to bend to you; vs how you can bend to the church. Since the Church cannot enforce tiding upon its parishioners as the government can, we can definanly speak with our wallets faster than we can to a government.

Ask yourself why so much money is needed? Is there a recession in your area? Are churches closing and consolidating? Are the numbers of the faithful dwendling? Are there court cases hurting the books? Has the community lost faith in the church and archdiocese? Yes, we have the power to speak with our tidings, but take An honest look at why there is so much pleading from your pastor Mama.

 

[Jon_S_1]

Hello

I attended mass as I usually do and was particularly looking forward to this mass as it was Mother’s Day

During the homily I expected to hear about Our Lady but instead they asked for money again. The whole homily was about the from in our pew and how to fill it out. I was disappointed as I always loved the homily and Mother’s Day and Father’s Day as we always hear about our lady and saint Joseph.

This was not the first time we did that this year. It was more like the third or fourth time.

I will never understand the Catholic Church in this way…why must we have all expensive things? Why can’t we go back and have the simple churches??

I don’t know if I should keep quiet and just say I go for Jesus and not for the people? What would you do? Say something? Keep yourself anonymous? I do not like conflict but feel like the homily was completely inappropriate for this past weekend. Going to another church is not an option btw.

The Catholic Church really doesn’t take on much. But it takes money to keep the lights on. You’d probably be shocked to see your parish’s utility bills alone.

As a reference, my 5000 registered person parish brings in about $23,000 a week that’s like $4 a person.

The evangelical church down the street also with 5,000 people brings in $100,000 a week

So we do a lot with 25% of the funds.

 

[Sunbreak]

I just don’t see this as any big deal. The church needs money to operate and for repairs or is required to take up certain collections by the archdiocese. Homilies are actually supposed to be related to the Mass readings, anyway, not Mary because it’s Mother’s Day or Joseph because it’s Father’s Day. I don’t see this as anything worth mentioning or getting upset about.

 

[Jon_S_1]

I just don’t see this as any big deal. The church needs money to operate and for repairs or is required to take up certain collections by the archdiocese. Homilies are actually supposed to be related to the Mass readings, anyway, not Mary because it’s Mother’s Day or Joseph because it’s Father’s Day. I don’t see this as anything worth mentioning or getting upset about.

Don’t forget it costs money to clothe the needy feed the hungry and visit the imprisoned!

 

[pianistclare]

Everything gets much more expensive at the institutional level.

I recently learned that our kids’ private school (not parochial) pays $65k a year rent to the Protestant church that houses the school. And in a few years, the rent is going to balloon to around $93k a year. I also heard that if we were to build a new school from the ground up, it would cost in the neighborhood of $15 million. That blew my mind. (Fortunately, there are more economical plans afoot, but it is a seven figure project to renovate existing buildings into a new school.)

I suspect that if you knew the sort of numbers that your pastor is trying to cope with, you’d have more understanding as to why they keep asking for money.

Also, come to think of it, there are a lot of issues with new code requirements and handicapped access (which is also relevant for families with children in strollers). One of our local churches (which was not that old) used to have bathroom stalls that were all so small that I couldn’t really squeeze in with a baby in a stroller, so I can only imagine how anybody actually handicapped coped with that space. They recently did a renovation and (glory be!) one of the things they did was to add on so that there was finally a handicapped stall in the lady’s room (and hopefully for the men’s room, too).

Sounds about right. The Catholic elementary school on the property with our parish cost about 20 million 15 years ago. And, it didn’t include air conditioning in the gym!
They had to go back and do that over again…
The roof leaks. It’s been repaired at least 4 times. Still leaks.
The kitchen alone cost a million.
Our church still owes 2 million on the original building debt. It was built in 2000.
It’s hard fro a parish to pay the bills, pay the staff, pay the Diocesan tax, give to all the charities that ask, run educational programs, and do things as simple as equip the place for liturgy. If you ever have a chance look through any Church supply catalog. Tabernacles alone run from around 5 grand to upwards of 50 grand. Yes, you can build plain jane churches, but then you get the gripers who are upset because the church is not “fitting” or nice enough.
I could go on and on,…but yeah. New parishes are quite expensive. And the Bishop will want some assurance that a community can afford even the bare minimum for running one before they purchase a site or hire an architect.

 

[pianistclare]

One more thing:

Keep in mind that the pastor may not have had a choice.
his boss can be pretty clear about needing more money to go to the Chancery. They support the seminarians, foreign missions, Peter’s Pence, lots of things and offices that serve the entire Diocese. If the parish is having a hard time meeting those obligations, he may be getting lots of pressure form his boss. Give him a break. NO priest likes to preach about money. That’s not why they go to seminary. Not in the least. If they could get by with never talking about money, they sure would.
Things must be rough of it’s been many times. Did you know that in many parishes only 20% of the people even give regularly?
Once, a former pastor told the people of parish that if every family gave $4 or even $4 above what they were giving, that we could build a youth center, make repairs, and easily pay the utilities. They gave a bit more for about 3 weeks. Then, back to the same fixed income retirees giving what they could.
Ask the Finance Chairman what the numbers are for your parish.

 

[UbiCaritas]

One more thing:

Keep in mind that the pastor may not have had a choice.
his boss can be pretty clear about needing more money to go to the Chancery. They support the seminarians, foreign missions, Peter’s Pence, lots of things and offices that serve the entire Diocese. If the parish is having a hard time meeting those obligations, he may be getting lots of pressure form his boss. Give him a break. NO priest likes to preach about money. That’s not why they go to seminary. Not in the least. If they could get by with never talking about money, they sure would.
Things must be rough of it’s been many times. Did you know that in many parishes only 20% of the people even give regularly?
Once, a former pastor told the people of parish that if every family gave $4 or even $4 above what they were giving, that we could build a youth center, make repairs, and easily pay the utilities. They gave a bit more for about 3 weeks. Then, back to the same fixed income retirees giving what they could.
Ask the Finance Chairman what the numbers are for your parish.

This, especially the bolded. Any church should be willing to give, upon being asked, any and all pertinent financial information: what they’re spending on what and when, what goes to the diocese, what goes to the sundry funds, what’s going towards replacing the roof/plumbing/whatever, and so on. If they aren’t, then there’s something fishy going on: best case scenario, they aren’t running things competently enough to give you that information, and worst case scenario–unfortunately possible–is that someone’s running off with the cash.

Our current parish is just recovering from a pastor who no doubt meant well but who had a lot of issues, among them trusting anyone to do work on the church (even non-bonded, uninsured, and totally incompetent contractors) and being personally responsible for a situation which led to our rectory having to be demolished. The new priest, poor guy, is one pastor for three thousand families in this parish. He’s doing a brilliant job, though: in his “state of the parish” sermon, he told us honestly but charitably what had happened and why we needed so much money to replace the roof and rectory (among other things), and then said that if anyone had any questions about the finances of the parish, they should ask because he’d answer them so honestly and completely they’d probably be bored out of their minds. He gave a very detailed sermon on how much everything involved in running the church cost, and how much he needed in order to do things like fix the roof and so forth. As a result, we’re willing to give more because we know exactly where the money is going, and it’s not being wasted.

 

[pianistclare]

Another tidbit that not many people are aware of:

Many times the Diocese will not allow parishioners to do the work on the church. Meaning, they frown on hiring parishioners no matter how great a deal they offer the priest, nor do they allow people to do the work for free. They would rather hire somebody at market rate or higher and not deal with someone known to the parishioners.
Many times, people have approached our pastor saying that they could easily do this that or the other…but we are mandated to hire outside. So, it works both ways. People want to help the church, but the church is always afraid of being sued or being accused of favoritism.
But yeah, transparency. It’s a good thing.