Mass this morning

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I was out this morning and stopped into a church that had mass while I was near. I stopped in early to pray because I have some things on my mind and heart. During the Our Father I started to fold my hands and close my eyes, as usual, but then a lady who looked as tho she might be a Sister in ordinary dress came up from the pew in back of me. I think she probably was interested in holding hands. I just did what I always do, but feel badly about maybe appearing unfriendly. OTOH, I sat where I had hoped to be undisturbed, and my posture did not beckon for anyone to hold my hand. I hate this!! There is no way to go to mass without a problem. Did I do the wrong thing by just doing what I do? I had no problem with this as a Protestant.
 
Do not worry, I went to Mass last month at a parish I am unfamilar with and everyone but my brother and I held hand for the ‘Pater Noster’. It was awkward but I was never taught to do this and it is not even in the rubrics.
 
Strictly a personal thing with me, but I’m not real big on holding hands either. I will do it though. I mean, how long does it take to say the Our Father? OTH, I can relate to your feeling(s) as well.Another thought I’d offer you, as it has to do with being more or less to yourself. Outside the Mass setting, make a visit to the Blessed Sacrament. I did it as a kid, still do it on occassion. Even with the sound of traffic outside, there’s a special ambiance. It’s a one on one with Our Lord, even if someone else is present doing the same thing you are. Hope this helps.
 
You are fine. If you do not want to hold hands, then that is OK. I am betting the other lady has forgotten all about it.
 
katy said:
I was out this morning and stopped into a church that had mass while I was near. I stopped in early to pray because I have some things on my mind and heart. During the Our Father I started to fold my hands and close my eyes, as usual, but then a lady who looked as tho she might be a Sister in ordinary dress came up from the pew in back of me. I think she probably was interested in holding hands. I just did what I always do, but feel badly about maybe appearing unfriendly. OTOH, I sat where I had hoped to be undisturbed, and my posture did not beckon for anyone to hold my hand. I hate this!! There is no way to go to mass without a problem. Did I do the wrong thing by just doing what I do? I had no problem with this as a Protestant.
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[Edited by Moderator]

If you don’t want to hold hands during the Our Father, fine, do as you did, and don’t feel guilty about it.

Myself, I’ll hold hands if a hand is held out to me. If not, I’ll close my eyes and fold my hands as you did.

There’s no need to feel guilty, either way.

Peace of Christ
Jim
 
katy said:
I was out this morning and stopped into a church that had mass while I was near. I stopped in early to pray because I have some things on my mind and heart. During the Our Father I started to fold my hands and close my eyes, as usual, but then a lady who looked as tho she might be a Sister in ordinary dress came up from the pew in back of me. I think she probably was interested in holding hands. I just did what I always do, but feel badly about maybe appearing unfriendly. OTOH, I sat where I had hoped to be undisturbed, and my posture did not beckon for anyone to hold my hand. I hate this!! There is no way to go to mass without a problem. Did I do the wrong thing by just doing what I do? I had no problem with this as a Protestant.
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You could have acknowledged her presence, her desire to join you in prayer in that way, with a simple look and shake your head “no”.

Finding better ways to communicate your preferences can help with this sense of always having ‘problems’ when you go to mass.
 
And to think the early Christians used to exchange a kiss instead of a handshake at the sign of peace…hmm…:yawn:
 
I was at mass yesterday and it was time for peace and I held my hands together because I have a just two days old cold and maybe shouldn’t have been there but it is mostly a head sinus thing. I said peace and happy new year to all and said I have a cold, in explanation.
Then abruptly a lady said maybe you are the one that gave it to father, he has been sick for two weeks. She said it so sharply, it was like a slap in the face. I have to learn to deal with this myself as she has probably been very upset that father has been sick.
I didn’t think about returning anything sharp but was kind of silent and of course drained, but it made me think about later i think I will always hold my hands together as this is better to be consistant in one’s actions. She will go to confession and get it off her chest but I have seen others non hand me and thought it was considerate of them.Thinking of my health. It is sort of pharassical to make others do what you want so these things are getting resolved within myself and it is hard to make everyone do as you do. Another lady in the pew was bowing instead of hand to hand so I will take that approach and if you pray with hands folded and eyes closed andthrough the prayer they will leve you to your prayer. There is a fellow at mass that does this and is very reverent so I would suggest to try this. You don’t have to hold hands.
 
I refuse to hold hands and fortunately, that is not an issue at my parish. The other thing I like about my parish is there is no “Sign of Peace”, they just go into the Agnus Dei. It has gotten to the point where, when I visit other parishes, I just ignore the “Sign of Peace” (and I am VERY GOOD at ignoring peopl 😃 )
 
WanderAimlessly said:
I refuse to hold hands and fortunately, that is not an issue at my parish. The other thing I like about my parish is there is no “Sign of Peace”, they just go into the Agnus Dei. It has gotten to the point where, when I visit other parishes, I just ignore the “Sign of Peace” (and I am VERY GOOD at ignoring peopl 😃 )
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That is so sad.
 
WanderAimlessly said:
I refuse to hold hands and fortunately, that is not an issue at my parish. The other thing I like about my parish is there is no “Sign of Peace”, they just go into the Agnus Dei. It has gotten to the point where, when I visit other parishes, I just ignore the “Sign of Peace” (and I am VERY GOOD at ignoring peopl 😃 )
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That is so awesome.
 
Our local priest in charge of liturgy at the diocese level issued a letter, both in his newspaper column and to all the parishes, that hand-holding is more divisive than it is unitive; that it is not mandated in GIRM; and that congregants should fold their hands and keep praying, with only the priest in the orans posture.

About 75% of adult parishioners and all schools listened to him last year. Adults are now down to about half. Thank goodness the kids and the teachers have stuck to their guns.

I have never been a hand-holder, and neither is my husband. We fold out hands and do NOT sucumb to the pressures of those who think it is “friendly” or “unitive”.

So, don’t worry about it. You are not alone.
 
In the Anglican Use liturgy, you are still kneeling for the Our Father. Thus, no hand holding.
 
WanderAimlessly said:
I refuse to hold hands and fortunately, that is not an issue at my parish. The other thing I like about my parish is there is no “Sign of Peace”, they just go into the Agnus Dei. It has gotten to the point where, when I visit other parishes, I just ignore the “Sign of Peace” (and I am VERY GOOD at ignoring peopl 😃 )
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Isn’t the Sign of peace part of the GIRM?
The Rite of Peace
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  1. The Rite of Peace follows, by which the Church asks for peace and unity for herself and for the whole human family, and the faithful express to each other their ecclesial communion and mutual charity before communicating in the Sacrament.
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As for the sign of peace to be given, the manner is to be established by Conferences of Bishops in accordance with the culture and customs of the peoples. It is, however, appropriate that each person offer the sign of peace only to those who are nearest and in a sober manner.
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Tis the most sublime liturgy in English (Elizabethan English, that is).
 
I am surprised at the number of people who have opened threads on this forum over this same issue. I have never in over one and a half dozen parishes had any problem holding or not holding hands during the Pater Noster. As an Asperger I find human physical contact difficult and it takes a deal of effort to engage in the hand holding business. I do take part in the kiss of peace ritual lest anyone feel that I am intentionally snubbing them. A momentary contact is not such a problem to me.

Matthew
 
Personally-I dont go for the hand holding either-if I get a agressive type,I can usually spot them a mile away- I just wont make eye contact.
And dont get me started on sign of peace either!
 
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