Mass

[bekalc]

So I am here in town for brothers wedding. I came early for the bachelorette party. Brother out of town so was with future sister in law. Well I told her that I was going to go to Mass. The nearest one was five/ six miles away. I was more than willing to walk. I actually sort of wanted to. But as soon as she heard it was five miles away when she asked how far. She said no I will take you. I said are you sure? She said yes. Next thing I know is my brothers are all why did you make her take you to Mass. Apparently she had a hangover, I didn’t know. The thing is there were later masses and I did not even wake her up she was up before me! If I had known it was this huge burden I would have figured something else out. I don’t even think it was necessarily an obligation to go that far on foot for me. But a bus was possible.

The thing that is so frustrating is she is Catholic. My brothers are not I don’t expect them.

I don’t want to present my faith is unreasonable or ridiculous and I actually don’t want to put anyone else out of the way for my Mass.

I am honestly a little upset because I could have figured public transportation or something if I had known this is something that would make her upset. But it is a priority in my life. I give that time to God and I need it especially all the more when I am with family.

I think I will tell her that she needs to be honest with me. I don’t want to be one of those Catholics with the fire and brimstone but maybe I need to talk with her about the obligation. She may not know.

 

[pianistclare]

She offered you a ride.
That’s all you need to say to your brothers. Not sure why you want to confront your sister. She offered. It was kind of her. Let it go at that.

 

[Joe_5859]

I’m not really sure what you’re looking for from us since you didn’t really ask any questions, but since you started a thread, I’m presuming that you are looking for advice, and so I will give you some.

I don’t think that less than a week before the wedding is likely the most opportune moment to remind your future sister-in-law about her Sunday Mass obligation. I cannot imagine she would be in the right frame of mind to receive such fraternal correction in a good way.

If you want such corrections to have their desired effect, it tends to work best when the person you are talking to knows and believes that you love and care for them. I’m not sure how well you know this girl, but you are going to want to have a good relationship going to have those types of conversations.

When you do get to that point, I would suggest coming at it from the vantage point of your own thoughts and behavior and to avoid any finger-wagging. Rather than saying something like:

“You know, you really should be going to Mass every Sunday, too, because you are Catholic and you have an obligation to do so that binds you via Canon Law under pain of mortal sin,”

you might instead say something like:

“I love going to Mass and it’s so important to me. Some people view it as merely an obligation – and it is an obligation – but I see it as an obligation in the same way that husbands and wives have obligations to each other. It is always done out of love.”

That gives her information and even gives an opening for her to ask questions without putting her on the spot or putting her on the defensive.

Just something to keep in mind.

 

[chefmomster2]

She offered you a ride.
That’s all you need to say to your brothers. Not sure why you want to confront your sister. She offered. It was kind of her. Let it go at that.

I agree! She offered so the OP took her up on it. 'Nuff said.

 

[Xantippe]

I agree! She offered so the OP took her up on it. 'Nuff said.

Yep.

If brother mentions it again, say something like, “It was very nice of Suzie to offer to take me. I didn’t expect her to make the offer.”

 

[bekalc]

When I said talk about it I was going to say that I felt I needed to do everything in my power because I have an obligation to go. But in reality I love giving that time to God. And just saying it’s a good start to the week. Like that not like you must go to Mass or go
To Hell. But more consider giving God that time,

As for confronting I guess I am more concerned because my brother said I made her. I honestly did not. I don’t expect anyone to take me there. I don’t want her to resent me. Etc

 

[Xantippe]

When I said talk about it I was going to say that I felt I needed to do everything in my power because I have an obligation to go. But in reality I love giving that time to God. And just saying it’s a good start to the week. Like that not like you must go to Mass or go
To Hell. But more consider giving God that time,

As for confronting I guess I am more concerned because my brother said I made her. I honestly did not. I don’t expect anyone to take me there. I don’t want her to resent me. Etc

You don’t have to bring it up again and you shouldn’t.

If anybody brings it up again, you can say, “We must have had a misunderstanding. That’s too bad.” You’ll practically never hear me saying this on CAF, but this is a good time to go WASP.