Masturbate - Confess - Masturbate - Confess - Masturbate - Confess - Masturbate - Confess -.... will it ever end?!

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Tiborshok

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Will it ever end???

God help me break away!

Confession does seem to lose it’s meaning sometimes when I feel like I did not really have a genuine contrition every second after masturbation… thinking then BUT I MUST GO to Confession ASAP!!!

now this is what ticks me… I MUST GO ASAP… because it is a grave sin…

then it kinda loses its meaning for me sometimes… not always… because it happens way too often…

aaarhhhhhh

I don’t know…

Some priests tell me that I don’t need to go to confession too often because of just the sin of Masturbation…

While others say go ASAP once you are in grave sin!!!

Now looking at that, I’ll stick to the conservative approach and just go to confession to be sure…

… even though I feel so depressed and drowning in despair at times…

So what do you think?

Should I stick to the cycle of the

"Masturbate - Confess - Masturbate - Confess - Masturbate - Confess - Masturbate - Confess -… will it ever end?!.. " mentality

or just limit my confessions???

Let me know

Thanks…

God Bless you all… don’t let this happen to you…
 
Give yourself a break. Sometimes hormones can’t be controlled. Sometimes, I think we do more damage slandering ourselves than the with the sin we committed out of biological reasons we have no control over. If it burdens you go to confession but seek medical help too.🤷
 
I hate to say this, because it sounds mean, so please don’t take it that way.

I don’t know about the power of your addiction because I don’t have a very high sex drive, however, I know about addiciton to other things, and I’ve been sober for a year and 3 months on the 14th of this month.

It comes down to self control, pure and simple. Wake up and say, “I’m not going to engage in this habit”

I simply cannot imagine that your addiction to this “habit” is as powerful as someone elses addiction to cocaine, tobacco, or alcohol.

Again, sorry if this sounds mean.
 
Longest I can abstain is a week…

Is that normal…

Answer my question please about my dilema on the frequency of confessions. please…
 
Hey Tibor,

I suffer from the same malady and sometimes it does seem hopeless but I believe that through grace, support, and education that anyone can overcome this sinful addiction. I just got a filter on my internet which frees that temptation and I am getting a book on sexual addiction by the leading researcher Patrick Carnes. He talks about the cycle of abuse that takes place internally before you even take action on the thoughts. That and deliverance prayers help me. Sometimes you could have a curse put on you or have suffered some sort of trauma as a child that feeds into the sinful behavior.

Whatever you do don’t give up. Trust in Our Lady and Her Chaste Spouse to fight with you. No matter how many times you fall Jesus is mercifully waiting to give you new strength in the battle.

Ave Maria!!!

Peter
 
Rascalking said:
I don’t know about the power of your addiction because I don’t have a very high sex drive, however, I know about addiciton to other things, and I’ve been sober for a year and 3 months on the 14th of this month.
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Congratulations on the sobriety. However when it comes to sex drive, my experience is that people with low sex drives cannot possibly comprehend people with a high sex drive. It’s like trying to minimize the impact of hunger for someone who hasn’t eaten for a week by someone who just ate a gourmet meal. I don’t say it to be mean or minimize your response, but it is claimed to be the most powerful of human instincts, as great or greater than hunger.
Rascalking said:
It comes down to self control, pure and simple. Wake up and say, “I’m not going to engage in this habit”

I simply cannot imagine that your addiction to this “habit” is as powerful as someone elses addiction to cocaine, tobacco, or alcohol.

Again, sorry if this sounds mean.
Click to expand...
I’m afraid that it is far more difficult for some than for others. Which is why we shouldn’t try to judge another’s guilt on the subject (not that I think you are… but many here do).

To the OP: Worth a try but instead of saying you don’t want to do this anymore ever again, how about trying to just get through one day without it?

Don’t worry about going a week, a month or even forever without it. Just resolve, when you wake up tomorrow morning, to go without it for today only.

Then do the same thing the day after.

Sure you will fall at some point.

But God doesn’t expect a perfect result… after all we’re a fallen species. What He wants is that you try your best.

If your best, at the moment, is one week, so be it. Maybe next week if you try a little harder, you might make it to 8 days. God will be pleased with the improvement.

And try to chat with a spiritual director or confessor. If it’s a habit, it may mitigate the level of sin to venial.

I think this is one habit where “cold turkey” doesn’t work. Sex drive is a hormonal response. Your prostate gland is conditioned to produce seminal fluid at a rate it needs to based on a feedback mechanism. You therefore need to “train” yourself and your body.

Many monks will tell you that achieving purity is a very long battle, that you need to train yourself to be pure. It doesn’t happen overnight.
 
Tiborshok said:
Will it ever end???

God help me break away!

Confession does seem to lose it’s meaning sometimes when I feel like I did not really have a genuine contrition every second after masturbation… thinking then BUT I MUST GO to Confession ASAP!!!
now this is what ticks me… I MUST GO ASAP… because it is a grave sin…
then it kinda loses its meaning for me sometimes… not always… because it happens way too often…
aaarhhhhhh

Since you listed yourself as Catholic, when are you going to read the “Catechism of the Catholic Church, Second Edition” if you are confused on what is a sin and what is not.
You must help yourself. You have a free will.

I don’t know…
Some priests tell me that I don’t need to go to confession too often because of just the sin of Masturbation…
While others say go ASAP once you are in grave sin!!!

Now looking at that, I’ll stick to the conservative approach and just go to confession to be sure…

… even though I feel so depressed and drowning in despair at times…

So what do you think?

Should I stick to the cycle of the

"Masturbate - Confess - Masturbate - Confess - Masturbate - Confess - Masturbate - Confess -… will it ever end?!.. " mentality

or just limit my confessions???

Let me know

Thanks…

God Bless you all… don’t let this happen to you…
Click to expand...
Since you listed yourself as Catholic, when are you going to read the “Catechism of the Catholic Church, Second Edition” if you are confused on what is a sin and what is not.
You must help yourself.
You have a free will.
What we think is not important. You will be judged on your own actions.
 
OraLabora said:
Congratulations on the sobriety. However when it comes to sex drive, my experience is that people with low sex drives cannot possibly comprehend people with a high sex drive. It’s like trying to minimize the impact of hunger for someone who hasn’t eaten for a week by someone who just ate a gourmet meal. I don’t say it to be mean or minimize your response, but it is claimed to be the most powerful of human instincts, as great or greater than hunger.

.
Click to expand...
You make some good points, and I know you were not trying to “minimize” my response, or accuse me of judging this mans guilt-thank you for not accusing me of that,and thanks for the congrats on being sober . Just taking it day by day.

Again, just so that I’m clear-I mean no ill will towards the OP-this Oralabora poster was right-I don’t have a clue what it’s like to have a strong sex drive. However, I do know, sadly, what it’s like to be ridden with temptation-it controlled me for too long as well as him. We have more in common than you might think.

I’m praying for you my friend, and I apologize again if my reponse sounded or came across as mean or cruel in any way-that wasn’t my intention.
 
Should you go to Confession? Yes. Of course. Always. Confession is being able to tell God you are sorry. I think that He would much rather have some come in for the same sin over and over than think, “Oh well, I’ll just sin again so what is the point?” It is a slippery slope.

Sex…it is so beautiful and so dangerous, especially in this culture. We constantly tease and are teased. Women dress provocatively and then say that they shouldn’t be objectified. Men believe that they are like animals and then wonder why women don’t treat them like anything else.

***Graphic
I don’t know if this would help, but look at your semen when you ejaculate. There are millions of little sperm swimming around there and only a small percentage actually get to the egg. But that is a potential child that you just shoved in a sock, or a sheet or wherever you do that at. And then you wash it like it is dirty. Would you do that to a child you created with a woman? You have to be able to say no and it sucks and it is difficult and there a lot of people who will tell you that it is not that big of a deal. But it is and you know it is and you need to take a deep breathe, forgive yourself and find something else to do to occupy your time.
 
When you are tempted to masturbate why don’t you tell someone especially someone trustworthy. The temptation will lose its power when you reveal the temptation. Many people in these posters tell you to pray or that they are praying for you. These are good intentions but I will like you to do something different. Please consider this approach that when you are tempted again then try to go someone you can trust and let that person know of your struggle. You are not alone in this and quite frankly praying while good it can be does not always produces the best result. I read your post and you never onced delt with the temptation with someone else. You only go to someone like a priest afterwards. So God may be teaching you a greater concern that is dealing with temptations. I am a Greek Orthodox Christian and even though my Church is less hard on those dealing with masturbation than the Catholic Church we must respect the teachings of the Catholic Church in these matters and try to help when we can. The Orthodox Church is not as severe with regards to masturbation as it is in the West since our teachings from the Eastern Saints reflect a more compassionate view. Our teaching on Original Sin is different and the Eastern Saints rejected St.Augustine’s view and brought in a more compassionate view which I believe is more balanced and correct. Now St.Augustine became a Saint in the RC Church and much of Her Teaching is reflected from the writings of St.Augustine. But St.Augustine was incorrect in some of his own teachings. These incorrections however did not stop him for being a Saint. The Orthodox while respecting the teachings of the Catholic Church will always give time to those struggling with masturbation. The Church does not encourage those to come to Confession everytime they commit it but when you do come to Confession let us say the regular time of once a month then bring it up then. The Church will recommend some prayertime let us say 5 to 10 minutes onced you have committed it and then only to Confession in your regular time with your Confessor. I noticed on these threads that Catholics have this great fear that this is mortal. If you believe this to be then OK see your priest and follow his instructions. If you had been brought up Orthodox then you will probably not have that fear since my Church is less lenient on this and less judgemental. God is very merciful but in my opinion the Orthodox have a more correct understanding and does not require the person to come to Confession everytime they commit it. But you are Catholic and brought up the way you do I will advise you to go to Confession and listen to your own priest and remember to obey him in all matters. Do not try to judge your own priest if he does tell you to lighten up and he tells you to only bring these concerns let us say once a month. God is always forgiving and understanding. Remember that. God Bless!
 
Tiborshok said:
Will it ever end???

God help me break away!

Confession does seem to lose it’s meaning sometimes when I feel like I did not really have a genuine contrition every second after masturbation… thinking then BUT I MUST GO to Confession ASAP!!!

now this is what ticks me… I MUST GO ASAP… because it is a grave sin…

then it kinda loses its meaning for me sometimes… not always… because it happens way too often…

aaarhhhhhh

I don’t know…

Some priests tell me that I don’t need to go to confession too often because of just the sin of Masturbation…

While others say go ASAP once you are in grave sin!!!

Now looking at that, I’ll stick to the conservative approach and just go to confession to be sure…

… even though I feel so depressed and drowning in despair at times…

So what do you think?

Should I stick to the cycle of the

"Masturbate - Confess - Masturbate - Confess - Masturbate - Confess - Masturbate - Confess -… will it ever end?!.. " mentality

or just limit my confessions???

Let me know

Thanks…

God Bless you all… don’t let this happen to you…
Click to expand...
Hi, I had this problem to for about 5 yrs. I suggest you confess to the same priest every time. I did this and I started feeling so bad for disappointing him again and again especially when he had fogiven me so much advice! Keep going every time you sin and eventually you will say no more. You will replace this habit with something else. God bless!
 
When you are about to masturbate I advise you to pray a rosary. I had this problem for so many years and it wasn’t until I said a rosary a night that God was able to break me free from my sin. Let me ask you, why do you do this? Are you bored? Are you playing sports or doing something involving exercise? Do you also look at pornography?

I pray for you my friend, I was there and it’s hard to break. Make a deal with God that you won’t do it today and go from there.

God bless
 
As a 22 year old man, I know exactly what you’re going through. I’m fortunate enough to go to a parish that offers confessions twice a day. Most people would consider it a good thing to be able to go to confession almost whenever I want, but I think it’s a two-edged sword. Being able to be absolved from my sins so easily gave me less reason to stay chaste. I would always say to myself “It’s OK, I can do this and just go to confession tomorrow morning”. It didn’t occur to me until recently that it’s actually a sin to take advantage of the confessional in such a manner, though, of course, it’s much better than not going at all.

Anyways, I mention all this because I’m wondering Tiborshok, do you have the same problem/mindset? Do you ever say to yourself right before masturbating “It’s OK, I can just enjoy this and go to confession tomorrow, or the next day, or whenever?”, because it’s actually a sin to take advantage of the confessional like that, and that fact itself might give you another reason to stay chaste. It worked for me wonderfully.
 
Don’t get in the “area of temptation.” Stay with and around other people; stay occupied and focused upon something else. Physically tire yourself out by running or playing a sport.
Avoiding “the occasion of sin” is a place to start.

Schedule something else for the time when confessions are being heard… then you won’t be as apt to simply say, “Heck I can just go to confession and I’m home free.” Make it more difficult to get to confession.

Think: What if you sometime CAN’T go to confession because you’re presence is demanded elsewhere? Then when you http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v313/ponyguy/handjob.gif you’ll really get your butt stuck in a crack.

Man up and take control over yourself!

Regards,
Ponyguy
 
I know how you feel. I have a spiritual advisor I meet with once a week. As a convert to the faith, sometimes I commit the sin of pride and feel worthless, that I shouldn’t go to confession because of our common sin, and that leads to despair. Don’t ever go that far, mate.

I asked my spiritual advisor (who is quite conservative) about this issue. He told me not to hesitate to go to confession for anything for any reason. Then I asked specifically about this. He understood from our meetings that I am trying to stop, I hate the sin, but I this is something I’ve been doing for 20 years, something I grew up doing. He told me to say the confiteor and go to Mass and receive Christ. That made me nervous to do, but apparently the catechism discusses addiction and the possibility of a mortal sin not being mortal because of addiction and other circumstances. I trusted my advisor, after all, not only is he an advisor to several laity, he advises religious and clergy as well. I’m not saying that you should do the same. I’m saying get a spiritual advisor. Ask your local vicar or pastor to recommend one to you. Discuss it with them. I found that when I went to Mass everyday to receive our Lord, I felt much better and I did masturbate less after about a week of that. It’s still a struggle at that point, but the cross becomes lighter and the desire to masturbate is less frequent and strong. Like I said, speak to a spiritual advisor.

Another piece of advise that made sense to me (everyone has advise, good advise seems rare) is this: The devil wants to take you away from God. When you get the urge, he’s right there whispering to you “You know you want to and you’re going to, just do it.” Everytime you get the urge, say a prayer for your bishop, asking God to grant him extraordinary graces and knowledge to do the most good. The devil hates this, obviously. Eventually, he will see that the temptations he gives you is actually helping the bishop and will no longer tempt you in such a manner, at least as often. Doing this is actually an amazingly great way to fight the addiction. Eventually, not only will you not be committing a sin, you will be avoiding the near occurrence of sin by stopping the temptations AND you will be growing in holiness at the same time.

Also remember, you have to do something differently. If you don’t, nothing will change. What that something is, God will have to show you, so you’ll have to ask. And… get yourself a spiritual advisor, that will do you good, anyway.
 
Breaking Free
12 Steps to Sexual Purity for Men
by Stephen Wood

As men, we must remember that it is Jesus Christ that lives in us.
May the Lord Jesus Christ help us all to not be overcome by this fallen world.
Peace in Christ.
 
I had to fight with this sin for some time, but thankfully I have completely broken my addiction to Pornagraphy and am making excellent progress against Masturbation ( 2 weeks clean)

Some tips that helped me:
  1. Pray the Rosary before you go to bed (most people masturbate before they go to bed and this will help you put in a holy mindset)
  2. Surround yourself with Christian imagery where you usually Masturbate. Its really hard to enjoy yourself sinning when you have a crucifix staring at you.
  3. If you find yourself getting really tempted go use the bathroom. For guys the need to urinate puts presure on our genitiles that can easily be mistaken for the want to masturbate. So go try to use the bathroom before you do, you may find like i did that just that will help ya alot. Also getting up and moving away from where you were will give you a second to consider your actions and cool down.
  4. Pray, constantly. Espically when your most tempted. I found espically prayers to Our Lady were very effective. One because she is our highest example of Chastity, and Two, its kinda hard to be turned on when your thinking of Our Lady.
  5. Confession as you said, it helps us in staying humble and repentent.
Just remember my friend, as long as you are trying to eradicate sin in your life, and I mean really trying God knows your mindset so dont try to fool him, but as long as you dont give up on Christ, he wont give up on you.

O my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell, and lead all souls to Heaven, especially those in most need of Thy mercy.
 
Rascalking said:
**
I simply cannot imagine that your addiction to this “habit” is as powerful as someone elses addiction to cocaine, tobacco, or alcohol. **

It is obvious that you have not suffered with this affliction. One can avoid sources of cocaine, tobacco, or alcohol. It isn’t easy to do, but the aim of those addictions is not an integral part of your own anatomy. 🙂

My recommendation is to find a confessor who will work with you and stick with him, following his advice as close as possible. Once one is powerfully addicted to this habit some of the culpability may be ameliorated so that some occasions may not actually be subjectively a mortal sin. Only a regular confessor can judge that and it is no excuse to cease trying to break the habit. 👍
Click to expand...
 
I find it curious that something like this would be written to bloggers most of whom have no professional training in this field.
  1. The originator already knows the Religious answer from his Bible, and his Catechism.
  2. There are medicines to control urges (they are given to sexual criminals all the time), so if you can not control yourself through prayer and your religion, see a doctor who specializes in these types of problems. Don’t go to blogs.
Some people just get a kick out of putting stuff like this on religious web sites and it feeds their habit.
 
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