Masturbation - a problem for how many?

[Debora123]

That’s part of the problem. Most look at it as “normal”, when in reality it is gravely disordered to the objective criteria for morality.

Well it is “normal.”

After all, how many people out there do you think have never done it before in their lives? So yes, it is normal - just as sin itself is normal.

It doesn’t make it moral though. Normal does not necessarily mean moral.

 

[ahs]

Ahs, you seem to be ignoring the last part of that passage. Immaturity, anxiety, and force of habit lessen the gravity of m-bation. In other words, young people with no other sexual release, people who use it to relieve stress, people addicted to it, etc. are not as at fault. It may still be a venial sin, but I don’t think it’s gravely depraved.

No, I realize that part of it. The act itself is gravely disordered. Those who may be less culpable may not be guilty of “mortal sin” because they have less culpability, but the act is still grave (meaning “serious” ) in nature. (Mortal sin is sin that is grave matter, is commited by a person that knows it to be a sin, and is commited with full consent of the will. ) Those who are immature or anxious, etc…may lack the “full consent” part of that equation.

I hope I didn’t come across as judgemental…that was not my intention. As I said earlier, I also suffered with this sin at a time in my life.

 

[ahs]

Well it is “normal.”

After all, how many people out there do you think have never done it before in their lives? So yes, it is normal - just as sin itself is normal.

It doesn’t make it moral though. Normal does not necessarily mean moral.

Right, I agree with that. When I saw “normal” I understood the poster to mean that since it is “normal” that it wasn’t sinful…I may have misunderstood.

 

[Debora123]

The blind quotation of the catechism is quite annoying, and can alienate even more those who are trying to seek a relationship with God. It’s easy to quote the catechism and live in a black and white world. Living with the human condition and understanding it can be quite rewarding and difficult.

I appreciate this. I have nothing against the Catechism, but when we’re in the real world trying to get through real world issues, you’re more likely to reach someone and help them if you do so through a more personal level, rather than just copy and pasting what the Catechism says. I mean, I’m pretty sure everyone here already knows what the Catechism says.

Just my opinion on how to go about addressing certain issues I guess.

 

[Debora123]

Right, I agree with that. When I saw “normal” I understood the poster to mean that since it is “normal” that it wasn’t sinful…I may have misunderstood.

Ah I see. Yeah, I guess it depends on what is meant by “normal.”

 

[Swiss_Guy]

2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action."137 “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."138
To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety, or other psychological or social factors that lessen or even extenuate moral culpability. - Catechism of the Catholic Church

IMO the definition is sort of vague . If you have to ejaculate and/or intentionally start an erection to masturbate (for a guy ), then I’ve never done it - and I’m a teenage boy .

 

[Chrysotom]

The blind quotation of the catechism is quite annoying, and can alienate even more those who are trying to seek a relationship with God. It’s easy to quote the catechism and live in a black and white world. Living with the human condition and understanding it can be quite rewarding and difficult.

Your post is quite thoughtful.There are some who have never been plagued by this compulsion and who have no understanding of it.I was free of the vice for 10 years due to the intercession of St Maria Goretti but have fallen since.

The priest that I see for confession is very humane and sees it for what it is in me-a compulsion and stress reliever.I have been afflicted with OCD for most of my life and my scrupulosity and inability to “control” myself caused me to leave the Church for 25 years.I simply could not take the guilt.

This is ONE of my crosses and I have crashed to the ground under the weight of it repeatedly.By the way masturbation afflicts many married people as well.Don’t blithely assume that because you are taking care of business that your partner has not fallen.This is a VERY private,embarrassing and shaming sin and I would not be surprised if suicides have occurred because of it.

Thanks for your kind post.

 

[Warrior1979]

I’m very surprised that there’s actually 2 people on here who have honesty NEVER done it…

I’ll take a wild guess that they are women. The sex drive in men and women are very different. Not to get too personal, but my first wife was example of someone that had never done it.

 

[ahs]

The blind quotation of the catechism is quite annoying, and can alienate even more those who are trying to seek a relationship with God. It’s easy to quote the catechism and live in a black and white world. Living with the human condition and understanding it can be quite rewarding and difficult.

I don’t mean to seem annoying or alienating…I wasn’t sure if the person I was responding to knew what the Catechism said. I actually never knew there was a Catechism until my mid-late-20’s, so I would have found something like that very helpful at that time in my life (a quote from Church teaching while I was struggling with masturbation and wondering what was really wrong with the act).

I know many of my posts don’t “sound” very friendly. It’s not that I’m a rigid, black&white sort of guy. I just don’t know how to express emotion/feeling in writing very well. I’m trying though.

 

[Debora123]

I don’t mean to seem annoying or alienating…I wasn’t sure if the person I was responding to knew what the Catechism said. I actually never knew there was a Catechism until my mid-late-20’s, so I would have found something like that very helpful at that time in my life (a quote from Church teaching while I was struggling with masturbation and wondering what was really wrong with the act).

I know many of my posts don’t “sound” very friendly. It’s not that I’m a rigid, black&white sort of guy. I just don’t know how to express emotion/feeling in writing very well. I’m trying though.

No, I know you ahs and rest assured, you are not a like that.

There are others though, who seem to just copy and paste words from a book WAYYY too often. Though I know they mean well, it isn’t the best way to lead others to Christ if that’s all they ever respond with all the time. But you’re not like that.

 

[Tyler1234]

Being a teen male I occasionally find myself… Struggling… With this. I do not watch porn though! Vulgarity is not my style!
This is still one of my main points of guilt though

 

[Simeon_Hovey]

Given the number of threads on this subject that I’ve seen over the years I would say it’s a widespread problem.

As I understand it this is a sin based on the behavior of Onan, hence the word onanism which is another word for masturbation. Look up Genesis 38:1 - 11, pray upon it and talk to your priest about it.

Onan was a man whose brother, Er, married but died before having a son, according to Jewish law it was Onan’s duty to know his sister-in-law until she had a son who would carry on the E’s lineage. BTW ER was, “was wicked in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD slew him.”

 

[sw85]

Well it is “normal.”

After all, how many people out there do you think have never done it before in their lives? So yes, it is normal - just as sin itself is normal.

It doesn’t make it moral though. Normal does not necessarily mean moral.

I think “widespread” or “commonly occurring” might be a better term. Sin is by definition non-normative – it defies the norms that arise from nature.

I’ll take a wild guess that they are women. The sex drive in men and women are very different. Not to get too personal, but my first wife was example of someone that had never done it.

I had a girlfriend (before I found the Church) with an extremely strong sex drive and a massive hang-up about masturbation. She couldn’t even talk about it, much less contemplate doing it. Perhaps it’s a cultural thing? I dunno.

 

[copperblade]

I’ll take a wild guess that they are women. The sex drive in men and women are very different. Not to get too personal, but my first wife was example of someone that had never done it.

Yes, the MRI scans show the wiring is fairly different sexually. Men are also much more consistent across the board, where women vary more.

I’m skeptical about the use of the word “addiction”–surely there is such thing as addiction to sex, porn, etc. but in what sense are people claiming to have an addiction here? Any 12-step program attendees for masturbating?

A natural biological compulsion does not create an addiction. Addiction is like when you get in trouble at work for masturbating at work, or a car accident for masturbating in the car, and you still do it at work or while driving. Addiction is based on your inability to control yourself in the face of negative consequences.

 

[das17]

I think of it as a can that is left outside in the rain. Eventually, the can will fill up and must be emptied. When the can is full, then we masturbate to empty/relieve our urges. I think it is natural to do this and God forgives us for relieving the discomfort.

 

[ahs]

I think of it as a can that is left outside in the rain. Eventually, the can will fill up and must be emptied. When the can is full, then we masturbate to empty/relieve our urges. I think it is natural to do this and God forgives us for relieving the discomfort.

It’s actually not natural per se. It is disordered to nature, so truly is unnatural…though it IS common and widespread. None the less, it is a sin and involves grave matter, so can potenitally be mortal sin. God is forgiving, yes, but it is unwise to presume His forgiveness just so you can feel more comfortable in a sin.

Also, as to relieving discomfort, the body actually has a natural means of re-absorbing or expelling semen/seminal fluid. Some matter is re-absorbed into the body, and some is naturally expelled in what we commonly know as “wet dreams”. So there is no need to sin in order to relieve the pressure.

 

[Debora123]

I think of it as a can that is left outside in the rain. Eventually, the can will fill up and must be emptied. When the can is full, then we masturbate to empty/relieve our urges. I think it is natural to do this and God forgives us for relieving the discomfort.

Sorry for the TMI, but here it goes:

Before my husband and I were married, he’d try very hard to remain chaste and was able to go long periods of time without falling into the temptation to masturbate. As a result, he’d get wet dreams multiple times a month.

And this was when he was between the ages of 20 and 24 - not a young teenager anymore.

So yes, there is truth to what you say. One way or another, certain things need to be emptied out.

 

[Nausicaa]

I don’t see masturbation as a sin, but I try to keep moderation.

 

[ClayPots47]

The poll is missing the option, “I did it in the past, but overcame it, and no longer do it.” I suspect that quite a few cannot select the options offered, but would fall under this category. I have read thread responses from posters stating this, to encourage those who feel hopeless and addicted, that there is hope and you can overcome this vice and be free of it.

 

[FriendlyAtheist]

Masturbation is not a problem unless it’s a cumpulsion. There is nothing wrong with masturbation it does not hurt anyone and it feels good. Why would an all powerful all knowing creator of the universe care if you pleasure yourself every once and a while? And why is God so obsessed with human sexuality its kinda pervy if you ask me. So go ahead don’t worry rub one out it relives stress