masturbation addiction-help!

[TJ_2582]

Sorry if this is long, but I’ve been holding it in for a while.

I’ve been dealing with masturbation and pornography since I was about 14(26 now). I didn’t know how wrong it was until a couple years ago. I’ve gotten better at controlling it, but still struggle with it at least a couple times a month, whereas it used to be an almost daily thing. But what’s sad is that sometimes, all it takes for me to want to look at porn is seeing a girl in a swimsuit, skimpy clothing, etc. I don’t even have to see a naked woman to want to watch it. That one little thought leads to more thoughts and then more, etc. I even imagine what I would do with other girls sometimes. Most of the time when I do these things, it leads to masturbation.

I feel really bad every time I do it, but it’s been going on for so long, and sometimes at such a high level, that I don’t know how to completely get away from it right now. I read or pray after it happens every time, usually before I go to sleep, although there have been times that I felt so bad I didn’t think I deserved to have God listen to me. But the amazing thing to me is that even through all this, he has still been willing to become a bigger part of my life. I thank him for his mercy and still being willing to love me the way that he does even when I do something that does nothing but draw me away from him. Sometimes, I just can’t believe it.

I’m serious about church now, pray a lot more, read the bible almost every day, things that God wants me to do. So now, I feel even worse when I commit the act because I know that it’s just blocking a lot of blessings from coming into my life and has kept me from being where I really should be as a christian. It’s like I take a step forward with reading, praying, etc and then take that step right back to where I was when I commit the act. I need prayers, and lots of them. Thanks in advance for your prayers/advice.

 

[That_one_guy]

That’s a tough one,dude!
But, if it’s any consolation, don’t think your alone with this.I deal with it to.I honestly think most guys do.We just don’t talk about it. So, you’re actually sort of brave to open a discussion like this. It is a delicate one,too.So it won’t surprise me if the moderaters jump in every now and then and maybe even put an end to it if it gets out of hand.
All I can tell you is you’re not alone. I cannot think of anything to justify these actions, as sin is sin;And we are all well aware of the Churches stand on this issue.
Just try to get a grip.(Sorry about that pun!)
Oh, the worst part for me is that when it occurs,…I KNOW I AM LETTING CHRIST DOWN!!!and I do it anyway,… More often than not I am able to stop myself.But, everynow and then,…well,…
My only consolation is that I don’t have any porn.And my lame justification is that if I don’t then I will have to wash my sheets…

 

[teachccd]

Sorry if this is long, but I’ve been holding it in for a while.

I’ve been dealing with masturbation and pornography since I was about 14(26 now). I didn’t know how wrong it was until a couple years ago. I’ve gotten better at controlling it, but still struggle with it at least a couple times a month, whereas it used to be an almost daily thing. But what’s sad is that sometimes, all it takes for me to want to look at porn is seeing a girl in a swimsuit, skimpy clothing, etc. I don’t even have to see a naked woman to want to watch it. That one little thought leads to more thoughts and then more, etc. I even imagine what I would do with other girls sometimes. Most of the time when I do these things, it leads to masturbation.

I feel really bad every time I do it, but it’s been going on for so long, and sometimes at such a high level, that I don’t know how to completely get away from it right now. I read or pray after it happens every time, usually before I go to sleep, although there have been times that I felt so bad I didn’t think I deserved to have God listen to me. But the amazing thing to me is that even through all this, he has still been willing to become a bigger part of my life. I thank him for his mercy and still being willing to love me the way that he does even when I do something that does nothing but draw me away from him. Sometimes, I just can’t believe it.

I’m serious about church now, pray a lot more, read the bible almost every day, things that God wants me to do. So now, I feel even worse when I commit the act because I know that it’s just blocking a lot of blessings from coming into my life and has kept me from being where I really should be as a christian. It’s like I take a step forward with reading, praying, etc and then take that step right back to where I was when I commit the act. I need prayers, and lots of them. Thanks in advance for your prayers/advice.

Your addiction may reduce your culpablility even though it doesn’t seem so at the time. I scrapped the porn years ago but struggled with masturbation for years. I am considerably better now to where it is almost nonexistent. It takes time and God knows your heart and where you are with Him. He also knows how you are made, since He made you. Keep up the fight , the prayers, the sacraments and the love that you have for a God who would do anything to see you not guilty of separating yourself from Him. God is love and while infinitely just, He hears your prayers and is infinitely merciful…teachccd

 

[brianmichael]

you’re al in my prayers

i’m in the same boat

 

[tabsie3210]

Blah, I know that struggle.

For me, it’s not looking at guys in skimpy clothes (I’m a chick), it’s wanting to play video games. Weird, huh? But sometimes game site links will take you to “adult” games and those lead to some temptation. Especially since some of them are actually frustrating but playable games, well. I love RPGs for example, so I bought this one that looked awesome, called “The Witcher,” only to find out after the fact that the game has explicit sexual content, and I being the dummy I am, lost the receipt, so I had to take it off the computer.

I also have a problem with anime and manga because I enjoy both, but unfortunately they are often heavily laden with sexual innuendo and outright pornographic scenes.

I find that the best thing that keeps me under control is reminding myself that I can’t accept the Host until I go to confession if I do give in to something, and that stops me, though not cold like I want it to. I don’t like not being able to receive Communion.

 

[Schnitz]

You’re not alone. I think what “That one guy” said about every male struggling with this is true. I will keep you in my prayers. Please keep me in yours. Peace!

 

[TJ_2582]

Your addiction may reduce your culpablility even though it doesn’t seem so at the time. I scrapped the porn years ago but struggled with masturbation for years. I am considerably better now to where it is almost nonexistent. It takes time and God knows your heart and where you are with Him. He also knows how you are made, since He made you. Keep up the fight , the prayers, the sacraments and the love that you have for a God who would do anything to see you not guilty of separating yourself from Him. God is love and while infinitely just, He hears your prayers and is infinitely merciful…teachccd

Thanks for this response. I’ll be coming back to read this several times. It will be of much help. I needed to hear this, and it’s nice to hear it from someone who had some of the same problems, and was able to conquer them. It gives me hope.

And thanks, everyone, for your responses. The prayers will be of much help, as will the advice. It’s encouraging to hear other’s words who can give you advice based on actual experiences instead of just facts, i.e. counselors(most of the time, anyway). You guys are helping me out, so I’ll help all of you by praying for you. Thanks again

 

[TLM08]

Sorry if this is long, but I’ve been holding it in for a while.

I’ve been dealing with masturbation and pornography since I was about 14(26 now). I didn’t know how wrong it was until a couple years ago. I’ve gotten better at controlling it, but still struggle with it at least a couple times a month, whereas it used to be an almost daily thing. But what’s sad is that sometimes, all it takes for me to want to look at porn is seeing a girl in a swimsuit, skimpy clothing, etc. I don’t even have to see a naked woman to want to watch it. That one little thought leads to more thoughts and then more, etc. I even imagine what I would do with other girls sometimes. Most of the time when I do these things, it leads to masturbation.

I feel really bad every time I do it, but it’s been going on for so long, and sometimes at such a high level, that I don’t know how to completely get away from it right now. I read or pray after it happens every time, usually before I go to sleep, although there have been times that I felt so bad I didn’t think I deserved to have God listen to me. But the amazing thing to me is that even through all this, he has still been willing to become a bigger part of my life. I thank him for his mercy and still being willing to love me the way that he does even when I do something that does nothing but draw me away from him. Sometimes, I just can’t believe it.

I’m serious about church now, pray a lot more, read the bible almost every day, things that God wants me to do. So now, I feel even worse when I commit the act because I know that it’s just blocking a lot of blessings from coming into my life and has kept me from being where I really should be as a christian. It’s like I take a step forward with reading, praying, etc and then take that step right back to where I was when I commit the act. I need prayers, and lots of them. Thanks in advance for your prayers/advice.

Take a little advice from an old man who fought this for over 30 years! You are a twenty-six year old healthy male living in a pornographic world. Masturbation is almost a guarantee. Wanna kill this habit? Here’s what a lot of people won’t tell you:

Porn needs the “reward” of masturbation to survive. Without physical release porn is nothing but a source of frustration.

Starting today: Treat porn and masturbation as two different sins. Destroy any porn you might have in your house. If you feel you are going to masturbate, do so without any external material whatsoever… not even the spring dress advertisement from the newspaper… no exceptions. Immediately say your Act of Contrition and make it from the heart! Confine your masturbating to daytime hours and NOT in your bedroom. Someday when you have a wife, your bedroom will be the place where you share God’s gift of intimacy. So until you marry, your bedroom is reserved for sleep and prayer… Got it mister?

Begin living a G-Rated lifestyle… that means friends, entertainment, personal habits, speech, everything. Conduct your life as if innocent children were in your company.

Increase your prayer life and attend regular confession. Make a little charity work part of your life. Find an elderly neighbor who might be struggling financially and rake their leaves, cut their grass of shovel their snow. Helping others makes for a great penenace for this particular sin because masturbation is such a self-centered act.

With time, your mind will become more pure and you’ll find that masturbation will start to lose it’s power over you. Great saints have acknowledged that Holiness is a process that takes time. Your intellect and will starts to become stronger than your passions. This is due to God’s grace working within you. God knows your struggle. The fact that you feel guilty about it is a sign of God’s grace!

 

[tabsie3210]

TLM08 -

You should write that up in a pamphlet. It helps a lot, not just guys but us chicas, too! That was very well written, by the by. ::

 

[Charybdis]

TJ, you said in your OP that it was an almost daily thing. Now, you say that it’s only a couple of times a month!! That is great news that you are moving in the right direction!

The others are right, get rid of any porn that you own immediately!!! Do spiritual reading about the sexual vices and how they are sins.

Once I found out about the destructive nature about masturbation and pornography, I got rid of the porn and stopped cold turkey! So it can be done, sometimes even overnight as was my case. It is a struggle, but you can overcome it! You are not slave to your desires. With God’s help you will do it!

 

[TLM08]

Your addiction may reduce your culpablility even though it doesn’t seem so at the time. I scrapped the porn years ago but struggled with masturbation for years. I am considerably better now to where it is almost nonexistent. It takes time and God knows your heart and where you are with Him. He also knows how you are made, since He made you. Keep up the fight , the prayers, the sacraments and the love that you have for a God who would do anything to see you not guilty of separating yourself from Him. God is love and while infinitely just, He hears your prayers and is infinitely merciful…teachccd

Excellent post! The masturbation MUST be allowed to fade away as one lives a G-Rated lifestyle. It also helps to develop a bitter hatred for immodest material of any kind… Next to displeasing God, what I mourned the most after viewing this garbage was the loss of my innocence. After sobbing through the act of contrition many times, I sobbed for the loss of my childhood which ended when I was first exposed to porn at age eight. It took me (and God’s grace) forty years to kill this monster. Porn robs us guys of the innocence we once enjoyed as boys, when all that mattered was flipping bubble gum cards. playing ball, endless summer days and serving Mass with mom and dad present.
God Bless

 

[teachccd]

Excellent post! The masturbation MUST be allowed to fade away as one lives a G-Rated lifestyle. It also helps to develop a bitter hatred for immodest material of any kind… Next to displeasing God, what I mourned the most after viewing this garbage was the loss of my innocence. After sobbing through the act of contrition many times, I sobbed for the loss of my childhood which ended when I was first exposed to porn at age eight. It took me (and God’s grace) forty years to kill this monster. Porn robs us guys of the innocence we once enjoyed as boys, when all that mattered was flipping bubble gum cards. playing ball, endless summer days and serving Mass with mom and dad present.
God Bless

Amen to that. Perseverence is the key. I was one to think that I could NEVER kick this habit. I still struggle with temptation as we all do. It takes a lot of time and prayer. Perhaps we all go through things so as to be an encouragement to others. One day the OP will be mirroring my post with someone else…God Bless you all…teachccd

 

[teachccd]

Thanks for this response. I’ll be coming back to read this several times. It will be of much help. I needed to hear this, and it’s nice to hear it from someone who had some of the same problems, and was able to conquer them. It gives me hope.

And thanks, everyone, for your responses. The prayers will be of much help, as will the advice. It’s encouraging to hear other’s words who can give you advice based on actual experiences instead of just facts, i.e. counselors(most of the time, anyway). You guys are helping me out, so I’ll help all of you by praying for you. Thanks again

No problem. The good news is that someday you will have the same story to help out the next guy or girl out there. We’re all in this together. I broke my toe a couple of weeks ago and it made me realize how important every part of our body can be. This is the same with the Body of Christ. When one part is hurting the whole body hurts and needs to heal. Thank you for your prayers as I need them daily. May God bless you and keep up the good fight…teachccd

 

[jofa]

Gotta add one more bit of advice for conquering addiction (hold on to your hats - this one’s scary…)

FASTING

Yup, good 'ole bread and water. Always coupled with prayer, of course.
I found this book to be mucho helpful:

Freed and Healed Through Fasting, by Sister Emmanuel

It’s a 10 minute easy read (probably cost $5.00) and, wow, it really convicted me.
Afraid you won’t be able to do it? Pray 3 Hail Mary’s everyday for the intention of the grace and desire to fast, and Mary will give it to you.

God Bless!

 

[TJ_2582]

Increase your prayer life and attend regular confession. Make a little charity work part of your life. Find an elderly neighbor who might be struggling financially and rake their leaves, cut their grass of shovel their snow. Helping others makes for a great penenace for this particular sin because masturbation is such a self-centered act.

With time, your mind will become more pure and you’ll find that masturbation will start to lose it’s power over you. Great saints have acknowledged that Holiness is a process that takes time. Your intellect and will starts to become stronger than your passions. This is due to God’s grace working within you. God knows your struggle. The fact that you feel guilty about it is a sign of God’s grace!

Great bit of advice here. You probably could put your whole post in a pamphlet, as tabsie said , but I just included this part because it was the part that hit me the most when I read it. I really like the idea about charity work or helping someone else out since masturbation is such a self-centered act. I’ve never thought of it that way before.

And yes, God’s grace will be working in me as I strive to have confession be a bigger part of my life after reading some things posted on here. I recently went to my first one in over 2 years, by the way I know it can be one of the biggest weapons in helping me fight the addiction because I know there’s no sin greater than God’s mercy that you receive when you confess. Thanks, everyone, for your advice and kind words.

p.s. I also like the fasting idea, Jofa. That always helps.

 

[buffalo]

True Knights

 

[Dan86]

I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s not like you’re hurting anybody.

 

[jfhh]

Sorry if this is long, but I’ve been holding it in for a while.

I’ve been dealing with masturbation and pornography since I was about 14(26 now). I didn’t know how wrong it was until a couple years ago. I’ve gotten better at controlling it, but still struggle with it at least a couple times a month, whereas it used to be an almost daily thing. But what’s sad is that sometimes, all it takes for me to want to look at porn is seeing a girl in a swimsuit, skimpy clothing, etc. I don’t even have to see a naked woman to want to watch it. That one little thought leads to more thoughts and then more, etc. I even imagine what I would do with other girls sometimes. Most of the time when I do these things, it leads to masturbation.

I feel really bad every time I do it, but it’s been going on for so long, and sometimes at such a high level, that I don’t know how to completely get away from it right now. I read or pray after it happens every time, usually before I go to sleep, although there have been times that I felt so bad I didn’t think I deserved to have God listen to me. But the amazing thing to me is that even through all this, he has still been willing to become a bigger part of my life. I thank him for his mercy and still being willing to love me the way that he does even when I do something that does nothing but draw me away from him. Sometimes, I just can’t believe it.

I’m serious about church now, pray a lot more, read the bible almost every day, things that God wants me to do. So now, I feel even worse when I commit the act because I know that it’s just blocking a lot of blessings from coming into my life and has kept me from being where I really should be as a christian. It’s like I take a step forward with reading, praying, etc and then take that step right back to where I was when I commit the act. I need prayers, and lots of them. Thanks in advance for your prayers/advice.

I’m not an orthodox Catholic.

I think the reason why many people feel bad after masturbating has to do with loneliness. They long for unity, including physical, with another person and so seek it out in those kinds of things. But at the end of the day, after the fantasy is over, they realize they are as before, lonely. This is just my theory. Maybe it doesn’t apply to you.

But if it does, my advice is to get a girlfriend.

Failing that, make sure you have some good hobbies. Read some good books or something.

I don’t know whether masturbation is wrong but it is obviously something you don’t want and it seems to be not healthy for you in your life at this time. So that’s why I am giving you this advice.

I don’t know if you’ve had a girlfriend before, but an interpersonal relationship like that is much more fulfilling IMO, then any fantasy you conjure up. If you have trouble here, try to get some friends to set you up. Or go to a bar. Don’t worry, if Rosie O’Donell can have a girlfriend, then I am positive you can too (I don’t know if that worry applies, but I wanted to cover my bases)

 

[WanderingThomas]

I have the same problem and I am seeking help through the rosary but it is very difficult to find prayer time since I am college student.

I pray when I can and I know I should get involved with a charity to help solve my evil selfish problem.

 

[liberalcatholic]

The truth is we are human and we misplace our urges and feelings often. It is not possible for us live upright lives on our own and that is why we have an intersessor, John 3:16-21. Anyone who likes movies like ‘American Pie’ and think that this is just a big joke, your only lying to yourself. Everything has its place in life. Pray, repent, fast, read the bible, and guard your heart. :manvspc: