Masturbation Addiction, PLEASE HELP!!

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oneholytruth

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Hello,

I am struggling with the sin of masturbation and I need some serious help. the longest I have went without masturbation was about 3 weeks and 2 days. But anyways my problem with masturbation is actually not the falling into it, but rather, when I get an urge, the doubt in my mind of it truly being a sin. There are soo many objections on the matter of it being a sin. and alot of the objections make alot of sense. Most of the objections come from this website that I came across that gave reasons as to why it isnt a sin.
1.the verse about looking at a woman lustfully only refers to the inclination to obtain a woman as your posession and that sexual fantasies are natural and often times spontaneous. Basically saying that it is a sin to lust after a woman to make her yours and that most fantasies(at least mine) do not have this intention.
2.and the verse stating that everything is allowed but I will not be mastered by anything.
here is the website- www.thebodyissacred.org
I cant really explain as well as them. and I would appreciate any refuting on their subjects.
But yeah my basic struggle lies more within whether if it is right and wrong and this battle is beating me up .
so please somebody with a clear judgement help me to understand the truth and to not be so wavering on the subject.
 
Dear friend, naturally your mind displaces the thought that this is a sin, because it has become so natural to you, therefore it doesn’t seem bad, but you still feel prickings of conscience anyway.

There are some issues here…
One, the fact that you have allowed your brain to make this a large part of its programming…to allow these thoughts and feelings and responses to be habitual is intrinsically sinful.

Two, the entrenched habit has left you without complete freedom of choice, and in as far as it is as habitual as it appears to be for you, there is a lesser responsiblility and culpability. That doesn’t make the basic sin irrelevant not does it free you of responsibility or sin

Three, there is culpability, or sinfulness, in not doing whatever is possible to re-program your habitual mental paths to masturbation.

It isn’t easy to retrain your brain, but it is possible, and you owe yourself and God to do that rather than to remain a prisoner of your sexual desires.

I’ll keep you in my prayers.
God bless you. 🙂
 
do you know of any prayers or anything to help me to retrain my brain?
 
I know that it isn’t easy. it isn’t for many people.
Masturbation is a track worn in your mind as you’ve been down it so many times. You will need a lot of patience with yourself.

If you fall, ask God’s pardon and His help, but don’t give up on yourself. Don’t hate yourself at such times. Know you will try again. It takes a while to make another path or to rewire your behaviour and responses. You need to use practical strategies on yourself. Change what you’re doing that brings the temptation. Avoid as much as commonsense allows, those things that trigger the temptation.

It won’t happen overnight, but every time you do manage to pull back, or avoid the behaviour, it is a victory. Thank God for it and be glad, even if next time youfail. Try again next time. Do this often enough and you will develop a habit to avoid the sin more often, and hopefully, eventually more permanently.

It’s human behaviour. And God knows you’re human. What He expects is that we genuinely try, and then try again if we succumb. Even the holiest person struggled with it at times or at some time during their lives. Because you’re human, you do need to use commonsense, practical ways or strategies to avoid any sin.

God’s grace is a gift, and whatever way He give it to you…in helping you to try, in accepting your remorsese, when you try…and some day, He may give you the gift of freedom from this so human sin.

I pray He will help you and that you won’t give up on yourself even if you fail any time.

God bless you dar friend
 
It’s also worth noting that you’re not alone.

Masturbation has a way of making us feel isolated and alone–that’s the nature of the “solitary sin,” I guess–but this is not the case. Tens of thousands are struggling with this sin right now. Many of them have been at it for years; many will be at it for years more. And then, over the horizon, where you maybe can’t see them just now but they’re all there, are millions who have defeated this sin and moved on to more interesting ones.

So there’s that. Hope that helps.

More importantly, masturbation really is disordered. The website you’re looking at is–to put perhaps too fine a point on it–pretty dumb. The author, whoever he is, has no understanding of the Church’s teaching on sex. For instance, he writes, “The teaching is thus based on the traditional view that equates sex totally with having children.” This is simply not true. The Church teaches, and consistently has taught, that sex is a wonderful, powerful, transcendant, even sacramental experience to be shared between a man and a woman. It is an act of total self-gift in which a man and a woman–the two halves of the human whole–lose themselves entirely in one another. It’s a beautiful expression of love and pleasure, and the Church is 100% supportive of that. It’s not that sex is bad and needs to be used in only certain, restricted circumstances–it’s that sex is too good, too enormously divine, to be abused.

That’s much shorter than it should be, but it’s 4:30 AM and I need sleep, so I leave it at that. Masturbation is wrong because it’s a disordered use of your sexual ability. Sex is supposed to be a gift of yourself to another, right? Masturbation changes sex from a gift to a use; it reduces your body, your spirit, your very power of free choice, from a person expressing love to an object using itself to create empty pleasure.

In short, masturbation isn’t wrong because every sperm is sacred or all sex needs to result in babies; masturbation is wrong because it’s dehumanizing. It reduces you to an object, erodes your free will, and changes a unifying gift of self into an objectifying use of yourself that actually isolates you from other people, from God, and from yourself. It opposes love; it opposes charity; it opposes chastity. And it will hurt you in the end.

Now, speaking from experience here, even if you’re convinced now (and I hope you are), Trishie is quite right–you’re not going to believe that when the temptation comes upon you; at least, not at first. Your brain is too rooted in the sin, too controlled by temptation, to hold onto the truth when temptation comes calling. You’re going to have to retrain your brain. You’re going to have to blindly resist something you very much want and very much think is okay at the time. And you’re going to have to pray rather a lot, and keep faith in both God and in yourself.

Or, at least, that’s what people who’ve made it past this sin tell me.
 
If that is your mentality, then how far does one go with anything before they say it is wrong. It can be applied to any sin. Fact is that it is an impure immoral act. When I came back into the faith, I realized the wrong situation I was in and it was God that made me see this. I suggest you either go talk to a priest about it or listen to a Catholic radio program about morality or maybe one of the DVD’s in the Catholic.com shop (I think the “Breaking free from porn” DVD may be of help). You may be suprised to find that God works in different ways and I am sure you will find the answer if you go looking for it. Open your heart and mind to let God in and he will enter. Trust me, it happened to me.
 
To the OP, the website you link to is not a good one. Lot’s of the things it says are not in line with the teachings of the Church. THey claim to be “Catholic” but they clearly are not.
 
Spend time in front of the Blessed Sacrament.

Frequent reconciliation.

When the urge strikes you pray “Jesus, I trust in You!” Call on Jesus and he will help you.

Pray the Memorare. Our Blessed mother will never ignore your request.

When you pray your Act of Contrition you state before God to “avoid the near occasion of sin”. If there are things that place you in the circumstance to support the sin then do your best to avoid them.

Pray before you go to bed.

Being a slave to sexual sin is terrible and you can only defeat this with help. You cannot do this alone. The demons that drive this are powerful and the ones that push you to sin know you. Believe me, you can do this with Jesus.

I’ll pray for you.

Eddie Mac
 
Got to settingcaptivesfree.com and do The Way of Purity course. It’s absolutely free.

Please do it. It works. For anyone who is struggling with a sexual sin: pornography, masturbation, etc.
God works through that course.
 
oneholytruth said:
so please somebody with a clear judgement help me to understand the truth and to not be so wavering on the subject.
Click to expand...
Perhaps the best means of obtaining a clear judgment on the matter is by exploring the biblical teaching on ‘epithumea’. That’s the Greek word for ‘strong desire’.

In the King James Version, epithumea is translated a couple of different ways depending on the context in which the word is used. This is because strong desire can be either for good or for evil. When used for good, epithumea is simply translated, ‘desire’. For instance, when Jesus told His disciples, “I have desired with strong desire to share this passover with you.”

When used for evil, epithumea is usually translated lust. For example, in Romans 7:7, Paul wrote, "What shall we say then? Is the law sin? God forbid! Nay, I had not known sin but by the law: for I had not known lust except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet.

Lusting is bound up in the 10th commandment. Coveting is not merely desiring, but desiring what God has forbidden.

In James 1:14-15, we learn how lust operates. “Each man is tempted when he is drawn away of his own lust and enticed.” Temptation is like a prostitute on the corner. Lust is the vehicle that drives us over to her, opens the door to let her in, and carries us off together. “Then when lust hath conceived it bringeth forth sin, and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.” Once we succumb to the seduction of temptation, sin is produced and so on.

But once the sinful act is carried out, lust isn’t finished. Lust wants more. It has a fire-like nature. Once you’ve gratified the forbidden desire, you haven’t put it out, rather you’ve fed it. And it will only grow stronger in its ability to draw away and entice you.

So, what is a man to do when he has habitually succumbed to the allurment of lust and finds that he has lost all ability to fight it? What hope do you have to climb out of the pit which you have dug for yourself by the continual gratification of your sin?

James, addresses that issue in chapter 4. You have been drawn away by lust. James says, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” God is a God of grace. He sent Christ to die for the sin of all His people. His blood covers us from the wrath of God’s justice. His obedience makes us righteous before God. If you are desirous to draw near to God, then you need to draw near in Christ.
Christ is our entrance into the holy of holies where, covered by His blood we can have sweet communion with our God. Christ is your only hope of beating this. “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.”

His grace is greater than all our sin. Therefore, never stop confessing your sinfulness to God and your need for His grace through Christ. And as God is pleased to show you mercy, sin will loosen it’s grip on your soul. “If the Son sets you free, then you will be free indeed.”
 
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