Masturbation Addiction

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cooldude777

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I have been addicted to masturbation for a couple of years as an adolescent. I recently found out that it was a mortal sin. However, the habit was ingrained in me before I even knew how bad it was. It is hard to stop even though I am now trying to make an effort to do so. I went to confession about masturbation before. Is it a mortal sin in my case?
 
Only your confessor can determine your culpability. I do not hold the authority to declare masturbation to be mortal or venial in your case. I highly suggest you tell your priest about how you were unaware of the gravity of the sin when you started doing it, and that it was a habit by the time you found out the truth. He will then determine your culpability.
 
presidentjlh said:
Only your confessor can determine your culpability. I do not hold the authority to declare masturbation to be mortal or venial in your case. I highly suggest you tell your priest about how you were unaware of the gravity of the sin when you started doing it, and that it was a habit by the time you found out the truth. He will then determine your culpability.
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I agree with what is said here and will add though that now that you do know it is a mortal sin, it becomes a mortal sin each time you do it. It is hard to quit and don’t give up if you fail, just keep going to Confession and using the Sacraments for that is where you will get the Supernatural graces needed to beat it and win over it. Go to frequent Communion, but don’t receive if in mortal sin. I will keep you in my prayers.
 
nana3 said:
I agree with what is said here and will add though that now that you do know it is a mortal sin, it becomes a mortal sin each time you do it. It is hard to quit and don’t give up if you fail, just keep going to Confession and using the Sacraments for that is where you will get the Supernatural graces needed to beat it and win over it. Go to frequent Communion, but don’t receive if in mortal sin. I will keep you in my prayers.
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Oh, most definitely. I can attest to the power of the graces that are given by the Sacrament of Penance. I started going to Confession about every week or so this past Lent, and after one confession, my old habit of using the Lord’s name in vain just was…gone. Even when I stubbed my toe or something, instead of using the Lord’s name in vain like I normally would, I would just say something like, “Dang that hurt!” Or something.

In the past few weeks or so, I’ve only said the Lord’s name in vain twice, and I used to say it almost every other sentence.
 
I would consult with an *orthodox *priest. I say this because I have heard of many stories of lax priests who aren’t fully in accordance with the teachings of the Church (unfortunately) and can give incorrect spiritual direction. Good for you for trying to conquer this damaging habit. I will pray for you.
 
I don’t agree that it automatically becomes a mortal sin once you’re informed. Listen to your confessor. You’ll get some conflicting information on this subject here. People drawn to this thread are unlikely to be qualified to preach on it as much as they just may want to give you some words of encouragement and share their own story of success.

Having said that, you can beat this habit through humility in acknowledging your weakness, obedience to your confessor and the promptings of the Holy Spirit, and frequent participation in the sacraments. God will give you the grace and strength that you need if you’re sincere and ask for it with true humility. And then, take it one day at a time. It will get easier once new good habits are formed.

Edit: Yes, I agree with the previous poster that some priests may not dispense good advice, but your culpability is greatly diminished by being obedient to them.
 
A healthy dose of fear never hurts. Masturbation is a mortal sin, know that when you are doing this you are in effect defiling the Holy Spirit’s temple AND that Christ is standing beside you, to help you and keep you on track. He wants to be your friend. That should help. 🙂
 
Khrystyne said:
A healthy dose of fear never hurts. Masturbation is a mortal sin, know that when you are doing this you are in effect defiling the Holy Spirit’s temple AND that Christ is standing beside you, to help you and keep you on track. He wants to be your friend. That should help. 🙂
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Some people are more prone to fall into this sin when anxious, so yes, a dose of fear may in fact be unhealthy. Unlike most posters here, an experienced confessor will know this. The idea is to guide a soul towards heaven, not to chase them away from the sacrament of reconciliation.
 
But isn’t it true that there are certain factors involved with something being a mortal sin? Like grave matter, full knowledge, and full consent. I do not think that I am giving full consent if I am addicted. I became addicted before I knew it was a mortal sin. If the habit is already ingrained and at least you make an effort to stop it, shouldn’t it not be considered mortal sin in your opinion? I did some research and noticed that adolescent immaturity, psychological imbalance (I may possibly be OCD), and ingrained habit make it not a mortal sin and make it subjectively venial.
 
My dear friend cooldude777,

May I also suggest to keep very close to Our Lady, who is Virgin Most Pure and Chaste. She will never fail you with the Grace you need to overcome this.
An old and awesome devotion is to pray 3 Hail Mary’s kneeling at your bedside precisely for your purity, the purity of your family and purity of the world.
Use Holy Water: you can get a little bottle to keep at your bed side table and sprinkle a few drops on your bed.
Also try not to be idle, keep busy with various activities. Never lock the door of your room. And if at all possible begin praying the Rosary even if it is 1 or 2 decades everyday.
Absolutely go to a good confessor and to confession very soon if you happen to fall. It is disheartening to fall and the evil one will try to discourage you but trust in Our Lady and Our Lord that you will overcome this with Grace.

I can also recommend to you tapping into a good website: whodoesithurt.com/
you may find some helpful information.

I will be praying for you
DOC
 
Dear friend,

I’m not a priest. As someone mentioned a good confessor will determine your culpability meaning whether a mortal or venial sin.
What I can say is that most always sin related to the 6th and 9th commandments are grave and mortal sins.
These things are very “sticky” and could be hard to break.

As far as a habit, let’s suppose someone did not know that stealing was a mortal sin. Then found out it was yet due to his habit he continued to do so. I assure you that in a court of law he would still be found guilty.

It may be a poor analogy. The important thing is that God is much more merciful than human judges. God loves you so much and wants you to be very holy. He is willing to give you all the graces you need to overcome your habit. All you need to do is put the means and reach out.

Be humble to accept this weakness and HIs Grace will make you strong.
 
From the Catechism of the Catholic Church (my emphasis):

"2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action."138 “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."139

To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability."

Sounds to me like judgement should be left to the confessor, not self-proclaimed e-theologians.

Cooldude777, be patient with yourself and let the desire to be closer to God be the primary motivator in your fight. Ask for the purity of heart that is necessary to see God, rather than simply the strength to overcome a sinful habit. Want to be a saint, rather than not want to be a sinner. Ask for God’s light to shine within your soul, rather than that darkness be removed. God bless.
 
What’s the point of this discussion, really? Masturbation must be confessed, whether because it is a mortal sin and the soul is in desperate need of cleansing, or because it is a venial but invidious sin that must be conquered.

Here’s my thought, which worked for me: vow to go to confession immediately after every time you fail. I took that vow very seriously, and even though I had a habit lasting most of my life, I never again had to confess that particular sin.

And remember that as much power as this sin seems to have, Christ has infinitely more. You CAN overcome this sin. It may seem overwhelming now, and it will be for awhile after you give it up, but eventually it gets much, much easier. I rarely even experienced that particular temptation now, thanks to the armor of Christ.
 
cooldude777 said:
But isn’t it true that there are certain factors involved with something being a mortal sin? Like grave matter, full knowledge, and full consent. I do not think that I am giving full consent if I am addicted. I became addicted before I knew it was a mortal sin. If the habit is already ingrained and at least you make an effort to stop it, shouldn’t it not be considered mortal sin in your opinion? I did some research and noticed that adolescent immaturity, psychological imbalance (I may possibly be OCD), and ingrained habit make it not a mortal sin and make it subjectively venial.
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Not even an ordained priest can advise himself about his sins. Priests go to confession.

Also having a habit is not the same as being addicted though it might sound more pitiful.

Because you now KNOW the gravity of the action, you must get HELP.
Go to confession and be advised from that Sacrament.
You “helping” you is a no-go - especially when you are hoping to excuse the gravity.
 
Besides the normal conditions (attending mass every Sunday, upholding the commandments), pray the whole rosary at least every day and go to confession at least every week.
 
From JAW642 on 04/29/2010

To cooldude777:

I wrote my Reply # 9, to coolcatholicguy on 04/14/2010, in the Thread he started, entitled “Is this a sin?” in the Moral Theology Forum.

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=6526214#post6526214

I copied most of the thread below. I am guessing that you are probably around 16 years old. Coolcatholicguy is 14. But I believe my Reply # 9 fits both of you.

Aside from reading all these Replies, the ultimate decision on how much you need to masturbate at your age, has to be between God and you. Remember, you are talking about the body, and the penis, that God gave you. So keep on talking to God, and try to follow whatever you honestly feel He is telling you to do.
From JAW642 on 04/14/2010

To coolcatholicguy:
I know that in my teenage years, I could not have gone a whole six weeks without masturbating. And I doubt if any of the guys answering your questions and giving you advice, could have ever gone six weeks without masturbating during their teenage years.

Just the fact that you have written into this website, is enough evidence for me that you are a good kid, and you want to live the life that God wants you to live.

According to all the statistics, virtually all males masturbate to one extent or another, especially during our teenage years and beyond. So you are definitely normal and not alone in what you are doing. Actually, unless you are SUPERhuman, I would be extremely shocked if you were able to stop this masturbating habit, permanently. I think the best you can hope for is to reduce the number of times you masturbate each week down to a moderate level which will be acceptable in God’s eyes. God always likes us to do things in moderation, and not excessively.

Everyone should eat three times a day. But when somebody eats continually, because of the sheer pleasure of eating, to the extent where they weigh more than twice their normal weight, barring a medical condition, then they could be extremely close to committing the sin of gluttony.

Now, I am not implying that all males should masturbate three times a day, to maintain proper physical and sexual health, but you should get the idea of the difference between doing something in moderation, or doing something excessively.

I may be going out on a limb here, but for most teen boys, ejaculating 6 times a week or less, is probably still in the moderate range of normal male sexual activity. Ejaculating more than 7 times a week, consistently week after week, should probably have to be considered an excessive level of masturbation at least for most Adult males. The possible exception to this, might be in the summertime, when the weather is warm, and teen boys usually have more free time on their hands, so they tend to use their hands a bit more often, engaging in other ‘pleasurable activities’, like baseball, soccer, and masturbation ! !

You are a very normal teen male. Just because you masturbate, don’t think that you are a bad or worthless teenager, or that you don’t love God and want to live the life that God wants you to live.

And more importantly, just because you masturbate, don’t think that God has stopped loving you. He will only ask of you, what you are physically and EMOTIONALLY capable of achieving and delivering. Therefore, your honest efforts are more important than the final results. So keep on talking to God, and honestly try to figure out what level of masturbation each week, He will be okay with, and what would possibly be excessive, considering your young age. The answer is between You and your Loving and Merciful God. I do not want to believe that our Loving and Merciful God will put teen boys into Hell for all eternity, just because they masturbate, habitually and uncontrollably.
Why didn’t the Catholic Church ever mention anything about the sinfulness or morality of masturbation before the Six century A.D.?

Why didn’t Jesus Christ ever teach us that masturbation could be a mortal sin?

Why does the Catholic Church believe that it knows more, and has more authority and power, then Jesus Christ, Himself?
At fourteen, certainly your body has developed to the point where you are PHYSICALLY mature enough to be able to ejaculate, and physically enjoy all the pleasures derived from masturbation.

But at fourteen, you are still not EMOTIONALLY mature enough yet, to have FULL control over your sexual urges. Therefore, because you are a teenager, and you do not have FULL control, and it is definitely a habit for you, I believe your masturbating should NOT be Gravely Offensive to God, and therefore NOT a mortal sin for you.

Coolcatholicguy, read below.
Apr 1, '10, 7:44 pm
SacredHeartFan

Habitual Sin

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=443636

I have confessed two sins over and over again in confession. Last time I went to confession with our pastor, who is a very Holy and rightous man, he told me that these sins that would normally be mortal are only venial because they are habitual. He told me that I do not need to confess them unless I felt the need to and that a true Act of Contrition would repeal these sins and allow me to recieve Communion. I just would like to see some church documents on this. I trust this priest completely and fully, and would normally never question his practices but I was a little unsettled about this one. Thank you and Pax Christi!
Let us know what you think about my Reply.
I would like to know if my Reply is helpful and beneficial to you in any way.

Coolcatholicguy, Good luck to you, young man.

From JAW642 on 04/14/2010​

 
nana3 said:
I…now that you do know it is a mortal sin, it becomes a mortal sin each time you do it.
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Addiction can reduce culpability by reducing one’s ability to consent to the act:
2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action. The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.”
To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity,** force of acquired habit**, conditions of anxiety, or other psychological or social factors that lessen or even extenuate moral culpability.
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Please don’t make the poor lad feel any worse about his sin than he needs to. He needs to talk to a confessor, not to the super-scrupulous people here who don’t even fully understand the definition of “mortal sin”.
 
OraLabora said:
Addiction can reduce culpability by reducing one’s ability to consent to the act:

Please don’t make the poor lad feel any worse about his sin than he needs to.
He needs to talk to a confessor,
not to the super-scrupulous people here who don’t even fully understand the definition of "mortal sin".
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That’s a mighty vicious and pointless put-down.
What if someone quoted a post of yours and then said
’please avoid the opinion of super-lax posters in this thread
who might even pretend that mortal sin never exists.’.

I mean come on - yes, he should find a confessor.
Why insult others to state that fact with ‘extra’ vigor?
 
catharina said:
That’s a mighty vicious and pointless put-down.
What if someone quoted a post of yours and then said
’please avoid the opinion of super-lax posters in this thread
who might even pretend that mortal sin never exists.’.

I mean come on - yes, he should find a confessor.
Why insult others to state that fact with ‘extra’ vigor?
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Because people here use a definition of mortal sin that is, largely, incorrect and automatically label a poster’s sin as mortal, a judgement none here are qualified to give.

That’s why. It gets old fast, and totally ignores the flip side of God’s infinite justice: His infinite mercy.
 
dusza said:
Some people are more prone to fall into this sin when anxious, so yes, a dose of fear may in fact be unhealthy. Unlike most posters here, an experienced confessor will know this. The idea is to guide a soul towards heaven, not to chase them away from the sacrament of reconciliation.
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👍👍👍
 
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