Masturbation confliction

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I feel distressed that people are experiencing such anguish as a result of what I consider normal behavior. But it is impressive to see how committed people are to attempting to live out their faith. I hope one day the Church will free people of the suffering they experience as a result of this teaching.
I am always surprized when I hear people say things like this… I’m sorry, but if you are so addicted to something that you are having trouble breaking free of the habit then that is a bad thing and you should do your best to break that addiction, no matter what it is that you are addicted to. Here you have people talking aabout how difficult it was to quit masturbation because they were addicted to it. Being a sex assict is a very real thing, why in the world would anyone think it is a bad thing for people to try and break free of sexual addiction?:confused:
 
I feel distressed that people are experiencing such anguish as a result of what I consider normal behavior. But it is impressive to see how committed people are to attempting to live out their faith. I hope one day the Church will free people of the suffering they experience as a result of this teaching.
Normal doesn’t make it right. Also, the fact that something is difficult doesn’t meant it’s not worth doing. I’m glad that the Catholic Church gives us the tools to free ourselves from being enslaved to our libido. It is truly freeing to be in control of my body, to do something or refrain because I choose to, not because I can’t resist a physical urge. We are free of the suffering when we overcome the addiction or even the strong habit. It can and does happen.
 
While we are on this topic, I have a related matter that has been bothering me lately.

While I at one point I seriously struggled with masturbation, I have turned that behavior pattern around and have (by the grace of God and Our Lady’s intercession) come clean from that “addiction” (if it could be called that)

The problem that I am facing is a very recent inability to keep myself from looking at things that I shouldn’t. While I haven’t gone as far as looking for pornography, I have found myself pulling up movies on netflix to watch the portions that contain nudity.

I hate it; I absolutely feel divided internally when I cave in and watch those things. I feel as though half of me is screaming to turn it off while the other half feels trapped. These feelings always seem their strongest after I go to a mass or confession. On top of that, it feels like my prayer “gas tank” is running low.
 
I feel distressed that people are experiencing such anguish as a result of what I consider normal behavior. But it is impressive to see how committed people are to attempting to live out their faith. I hope one day the Church will free people of the suffering they experience as a result of this teaching.
I would respond that, if it was normal behavior, it would make babies. 🤷 As it stands, we’re not supposed to cave in to every demand our body makes.
 
Taken from another thread (said by me):

I used to have this problem. I have a few words which might help.

Okay, so you’ve been masturbating for 4 years. 4 years is a long time for an addiction to take root. It’s a really strong addiction. I know firsthand (no pun intended) that you want to quit very badly. The problem is… that won’t happen. No amount of willpower (at least not that I have) is going to overcome such a deep-seated addiction cold turkey. You might go for a month then slip up. Then go for another month and slip up. Then go for a week and slip up, then 2 months and slip up. You’re going to fail over and over.

But that’s okay. Pray daily, ask to be a better man and to overcome your addiction. In time it’ll happen. When you’ve gone for a week without masturbating and are tempted to do so again, ask yourself, “Is it worth it to throw away a week of not masturbating?” If you do masturbate, that’s a week you will never, ever get back. Suppose you do masturbate then life a masturbation-free life for 80 years. It could’ve been 80 years and 1 week.

Then is it worth it to throw away a month of not masturbating? Two months? Half a year? A year?

I learned this after my battle with masturbation, but an excellent, excellent phrase due to some of America’s founding fathers, I believe, is this:

The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.

You have the freedom is masturbate. You must be eternally (as eternally as we can be) vigilant. Not vigilant half the time, 90% of the time or even 99% of the time. You must be vigilant with every waking hour. Every time your think about typing in anything related to porn, remind yourself to beat your addiction you must be eternally vigilant.

Hope this helps.
 
Also, when the temptation hits, that’s the time to pray the hardest. Pray to St. Michael the Archangel or to your Guardian Angel, St. Margaret of Cortona (who dealt with sexual temptations), or whomever appeals to you.

:gopray2:

P.S. It’s not only men who have those temptations. For any women reading this thread, don’t fool yourself into thinking it will never happen to you. We must be vigilant about protecting our chastity.
 
CHAPTER 13 – On Resisting Temptations [The Imitation of Christ]

So long as we live in this world, we cannot remain without trial and temptation: as Job says, “Man’s life on earth is a warfare.” We must therefore be on guard against temptations, and watchful in prayer, that the Devil find no means of deceiving us; for he never rests, but prowls around seeking whom he may devour. No one is so perfect and holy that he is never tempted, and we can never be secure from temptation.

Although temptations are so troublesome and grievous, yet they are often profitable to us, for by them we are humbled, cleansed, and instructed. All the Saints endured manly trials and temptations, and profited by them; but those who could not resist temptations became reprobate, and fell away. There is no Order so holy, nor place so secluded, where there are no troubles and temptations.

No man can be entirely free from temptation so long as he lives; for the source of temptation lies within our own nature, since we are born with an inclination towards evil. When one temptation or trial draws to a close, another takes its place; and we shall always have something to fight, for man has lost the blessing of original happiness. Many try to escape temptations, only to encounter them more fiercely, for no one can win victory by flight alone; it is only by patience and true humility that we can grow stronger than all our foes.

The man who only avoids the outward occasions of evil, but fails to uproot it in himself, will gain little advantage. Indeed, temptations will return upon him the sooner, and he will find himself in a worse state than before. Little by little and by patient endurance you will overcome them by God’s help, better than by your own violence and importunity. Seek regular advice in temptation, and never deal harshly with those who are tempted, but give them such encouragement as you would value yourself.

The beginning of all evil temptation is an unstable mind and lack of trust in God. Just as a ship without a helm is driven to and fro by the waves, so a careless man, who abandons his proper course, is tempted in countless ways. Fire tempers steel, and temptation the just man. We often do not know what we can bear, but temptation reveals our true nature. We need especially to be on our guard at the very onset of temptation, for then the Enemy may be more easily overcome, if he is not allowed to enter the gates of the mind: he must be repulsed at the threshold, as soon as he knocks. Thus the poet Ovid writes, “Resist at the beginning; the remedy may come too late.” For first there comes into the mind an evil thought: next, a vivid picture: then delight, and urge to evil, and finally consent. In this way the Enemy gradually gains complete mastery, when he is not resisted at first. And the longer a slothful man delays resistance, the weaker he becomes, and the stronger his enemy grows against him.

Some people undergo their heaviest temptations at the beginning of their conversion; some towards the end of their course; others are greatly troubled all their lives; while there are some whose temptations are but light. This is in accordance with the wisdom and justice of God’s ordinance, who weighs the condition and merits of every man, and disposes all things for the salvation of those whom He chooses.

We must not despair, therefore, when we are tempted, but earnestly pray God to grant us his help in every need. For, as Saint Paul says, “With the temptation, God will provide a way to overcome it, that we may be able to bear bear it.” So, let us humble ourselves under the hand of God, in every trial and trouble, for He will save and raise up the humble in Spirit. In all these trials, our progress is tested; in them great merit may be secured, and our virtue become evident. It is no great matter if we are devout and fervent when we have no troubles; but if we show patience in adversity, we can make great progress in virtue. Some are spared severe temptations, but are overcome in the lesser ones of every day, in order that they may be humble, and learn not to trust in themselves, but to recognize their frailty.
 
I teach people this normal and healthy in my occupation.

But! You clearly do not see it that way.

It would nice if someone who is good at the whole “is that good, is that bad, is it ok if…” could chip in here.

We treat addictions. Why don’t we treat this if that’s how it is viewed.

I can obliterate your libido with a single prescription. Not that I’d recommend it if your married. But if your not married, is it a sin to artificially suppress what is apparently the Devil tempting us? If that’s him he goes down like a burst balloon with a little progesterone.

🤷

Aside from drug control, there are methods of reducing libido in sexual therapy literature. Now I caution seeking out anything like ‘aversive condition’ (i.e. ammonia when the bad thoughts come) but there are ways. Tantra teaches a great deal about sex and hedonistic practices but it also teaches restraint. I’m not sure if it would be useful or even OK with the church but as I understand it there are spiritual ways of down-regulating your hormones.

It sounds like a priest is probably best, surely at their ages they went through it themselves at some point.

Regards,
  • Mharren
 
Next time you “feel the urge,” instead of searching Google images for porn, get on to Google images and do a search for pictures of people who have committed suicide. This is what happens to those with a sex-addiction (which is really just another form of drug addiction): they end up dead or in a mental institution. It will give your psyche the needed jolt to reconsider looking at porn or masturbating. You could also consider the pains of hell, as this is the much more important consideration than mere physical death and injury. And also remember, when we engage in intrinsically evil acts, even when they are done in private, we are increasing and emboldening the total evil in the world. Innocent people that we may never meet will be harmed through our private sins. Society always gets damaged in some way by personal private sin. Just another thing to keep in mind when tempted to these sins of the flesh.
Whoa whoa. This is not true. Aversive conditioning is a LAST resort for a behavioral problem. Scaring the **** out of yourself is causing deliberate and what could be lasting trauma. Something far more likely to land you with psychiatric illness than the confusing the OP expresses. Slathering one in guilt could lead to someone determining for themselves they cannot beat the behaviour they wish to stop and they are going to hell and they are bad and disappointing etc etc, AND THEN suicide may come.

I had a kid in my ER last week with a gunshot wound to the stomach because he was told he was ‘bad bad bad’ and he believed it was true and that he couldn’t even stop being bad.

The rest of that post was ill-informed as well. But I’m the evil medical establishment, so what could I possibly know?

Kid, go to your priest. Go to your Bible. If you consider masturbation to be a behaviour you wish to stop, then OK. That’s OK. But like any behaviour it is difficult. Speak to someone who is educated in behaviour therapy or counseling to stop.

And maybe cut yourself a break. You screw up, pick yourself back up and try again. Persevere.

Regards,
  • Mharren
 
The only way to put a stop to the gravely sinful act of masturbation is to stop cold turkey. A helpful way of doing this is to literally scare the hell out of yourself by looking at the damaging effects of masturbation - spiritual and physical.

From the spiritual standpoint, you need to understand that pornography and masturbation are one of the easiest pathways to demonic possession. Sex addicts are most definitely demonically obsessed and if they become hardened sex addicts they are at risk of demonic possession. When you look at pornography and masturbate you are effectively practicing what Aleister Crowley called “sex magic.” This is dangerous stuff. One of the worst side effects of sins of the flesh is the resulting denial of immortality that accompanies them. Is it any wonder then that our hedonistic culture is also one of the most atheistic. The two sins go hand-in-hand.

From the physical standpoint,studies have shown that porn addiction is more dangerous and addictive than drugs like heroin, cocaine, meth, etc. Here is great article by neurosurgeon Donald L. Hilton, Jr that will help you to understand how Porn Addiction will literally destroy your brain: “Slave Master: How Pornography Drugs & Changes Your Brain” found here (drjudithreisman.com/archi…master_ho.html).

Contrary to what the popular, secular media and health professionals will tell you, masturbation is dangerous to your health. For one thing, it lowers your stamina and lowers your drive to accomplish things. Excessive masturbation (every day, or reguarly) puts a high amount of stress on your prostate. It’s also not good for your brain due to the feel-good chemicals (norepinephrine, epinephrine, dopamine, & serotonin among others) constantly being released. It’s basically like a drug that your brain gets hooked on and part of the reason why masturbation is so hard to stop. Again, see the above article by Dr. Hilton. If you ever tried to stop then you no doubt are familiar with the strong urge to masturbate again after a few days to a week. After this amount of time the effects of the feel-good chemicals wear off and you start going thru withdrawal symptoms. Frequent masturbation also weakens your immune system thus making you more succeptible to diseases, especially to colds and flus during the winter season. Frequent masturbation also weakens your tendons and ligaments, making it easier to strain a muscle or sprain a joint. Furthermore, you will start to get lower back pain if you continue to masturbate regularly. However you will most likely not experience this particular symptom until after you are past your teen years. Others will start to experience thinning hair on their heads as well. This is due to too much of your testosterone being converted into dihydrotestosterone (DHT) which overloads your body. You also lose several miligrams of zinc every time you ejaculate. Zinc plays an important role in cell division and growth. It is essential for protein and DNA synthesis and helps in liver function and proper insulin activity and is essential for proper functioning of the sexual organs. Zinc is found in abundance in semen and the prostrate gland. Sexually active men require more zinc than women for the health of the reproductive organs and fertility Zinc is a component of many enzymes that help in the metabolism of lipids, carbohydrates and proteins and helps in wound healing.

So as you can see, masturbation is extremely bad, not only for your soul but also for your health. Masturbation is NOT the same as having sex because when a man has sexual intercourse with a woman, certain trace minerals and prostaglandins are absorbed from the female vaginal secretions which balance the zinc-loss effect and also there is a sort of natural suction during normal sex that helps drain all the semen during an ejaculation. Contrast this with masturbation, where a small portion of semen does not drain and ends up remaining in your system, which is not good.

Don’t expect to get the truth from the popular, secular media or medicine. The Porn Industry is one of the biggest businesses in our country and in the world. They have a vested interest in the consumers of their products staying ignorant of the damage that their products cause.

Find a good Catholic therapist if you feel that you are a sex addict. But first of all, get to confession and keep in mind that the only way you will defeat a sex addiction is going to be by first turning to and utilizing the Sacraments - on a daily basis if possible.

Next time you “feel the urge,” instead of searching Google images for porn, get on to Google images and do a search for pictures of people who have committed suicide. This is what happens to those with a sex-addiction (which is really just another form of drug addiction): they end up dead or in a mental institution. It will give your psyche the needed jolt to reconsider looking at porn or masturbating. You could also consider the pains of hell, as this is the much more important consideration than mere physical death and injury. And also remember, when we engage in intrinsically evil acts, even when they are done in private, we are increasing and emboldening the total evil in the world. Innocent people that we may never meet will be harmed through our private sins. Society always gets damaged in some way by personal private sin. Just another thing to keep in mind when tempted to these sins of the flesh.
May I private message you? I had a couple questions
 
Let me be honest here. This might offend some of you but I think this is important.

‘Why would God care that you masturbate’?

I mean, seriously. Is it such a big deal? There are people starving and dying every day and in the cosmos the planets are burning up before they even start. But God just happens to be more bothered that you are masturbating?

Don’t you think it is kind of arrogant to think like this? Surely God is more concerned about the far worse stuff happening in the world.
 
Surely God is more concerned about the far worse stuff happening in the world.
Arrogance would be assuming that you know what God is more concerned with.

“the sins which bring most souls to hell are the sins of the flesh.” - Our Lady of Fatima

To the OP - you must remove yourself from the near occasion of sin. Ask blessed Jacinta Marto to help you and you will be amazed at the amount of help you will receive.

🙂
 
Dude, that’s how its gonna be for the first few weeks. Quitting sucks. I hate calling it an addiction too, but if you’re craving it and “jonesing” for it, then it’s probably an addiction. Sucks knowing that you might be addicted to it.

How it goes:
You will be turned on by everything you see. Your leg will shake, you will sweat in your seat, and it won’t be fun. However, it gets better. After a few weeks the cravings will leave and you will have some peace. Though know the cravings will still be there. I’ve been “clean” for almost 100 days now and i still crave it. But with experience you’ll get better at understanding the urges and dealing with them.

Advice:
“Now when the unclean spirit goes out of a man, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, and does not find it. 44“Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came’; and when it comes, it finds it unoccupied, swept, and put in order. 45“Then it goes and takes along with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there; and the last state of that man becomes worse than the first."
Mathew 12:43-45

The cravings just show you that you’re doing something right. Take solace in that. Also add more of the “Big Guy” into your life aka God. I started reading a chapter from the new testament ever night before I went to bed. I also tried to attend a few extra masses during the week.

My mentality was: You can either be with god or against him. So either you’re bad habit is going to win or your new good habits will. It’s up to you to decide.

Good Luck Brotha, PM if you need more anything…

-One more point. I am not married, but this was another mentality of mine: Do you want to give a future wife a man who is addicted to lust? I doubt it. Like it or not, masturbation is a sin against purity. So think of it in a sort of virginity kind of a way and what type of man you will be giving to your future wife.
I definitely agree with the highlighted part. I haven’t masturbated in just about a year and a half, and I still sometimes have temptation (I am sixteen, after all). One of the things I think about it how it’s a mortal sin so not to do it, but the final nail in the coffin is always “Is this the kind of man my future spouse wants?”. If you have ever liked a person of the opposite sex, that should be a very dizzying factor for your temptation, and it at least works very well for me.
 
Let me be honest here. This might offend some of you but I think this is important.

‘Why would God care that you masturbate’?

I mean, seriously. Is it such a big deal? There are people starving and dying every day and in the cosmos the planets are burning up before they even start. But God just happens to be more bothered that you are masturbating?

Don’t you think it is kind of arrogant to think like this? Surely God is more concerned about the far worse stuff happening in the world.
  1. We as a people do all that we can to help the sick and the starving and the dying. That’s part of being Christian.
  2. I could care less about the planets burning up; they’re God’s to do with as He pleases, after all; or is He burning up a planet that *you *made? 😉
The thing to remember about the Christian way of life, though, is that our ultimate focus isn’t on simply the physical. This little life, wonderful and beautiful though it is, is just a speck in the eye of eternity. We’re here to learn how to love God and, through loving God, to love life and to learn how to let God love us. Sins of the flesh spit right in the eye of that love, and those kinds of sins have spiritual ramifications as well as physical, that affect other people besides just ourselves.

Masturbation is inherently selfish, a form of distrust and self-loathing that can only ever cause people to turn in upon themselves. Some people may not be in full control of their will when it happens, and we know that God takes that into account. We trust His loving mercy when it comes to things like that.

A question or two for you to ponder: If as Catholics, we believe that masturbation is selfish, sinful and self-destructive, why wouldn’t we focus on that just as much as on the physical needs of others? Why would we belittle or ignore an act that increases the capacity for selfishness and wrong thinking, which would lead to less people wanting or being able to care for the sick and dying?
 
Let me be honest here. This might offend some of you but I think this is important.

‘Why would God care that you masturbate’?

I mean, seriously. Is it such a big deal? There are people starving and dying every day and in the cosmos the planets are burning up before they even start. But God just happens to be more bothered that you are masturbating?

Don’t you think it is kind of arrogant to think like this? Surely God is more concerned about the far worse stuff happening in the world.
Following Christ’s example, we are supposed to be self-sacrificing. Masturbation is such a big deal because it is such a selfish act. Yes, God cares deeply about what we each do individually. He didn’t come into the universe and become a planet in order to save the planets. He was born to a woman, lived a human life, and suffered immensely to save people. It would be arrogant to believe we deserve all this special treatment. Humans through history have offended God more than any other of His creations.

p.s. no offense taken when you are asking sincere questions!
 
Whoa whoa. This is not true. Aversive conditioning is a LAST resort for a behavioral problem. Scaring the **** out of yourself is causing deliberate and what could be lasting trauma. Something far more likely to land you with psychiatric illness than the confusing the OP expresses. Slathering one in guilt could lead to someone determining for themselves they cannot beat the behaviour they wish to stop and they are going to hell and they are bad and disappointing etc etc, AND THEN suicide may come.

I had a kid in my ER last week with a gunshot wound to the stomach because he was told he was ‘bad bad bad’ and he believed it was true and that he couldn’t even stop being bad.

The rest of that post was ill-informed as well. But I’m the evil medical establishment, so what could I possibly know?

Kid, go to your priest. Go to your Bible. If you consider masturbation to be a behaviour you wish to stop, then OK. That’s OK. But like any behaviour it is difficult. Speak to someone who is educated in behaviour therapy or counseling to stop.

And maybe cut yourself a break. You screw up, pick yourself back up and try again. Persevere.

Regards,
  • Mharren
You are wrong.

Hearing the truth can be scary, especially the truth about mortal sin and hell.

From the spiritual standpoint, there is only one way to stop sex addiction: cold turkey. Masturbation and pornography are intrinsic evils. People who willfully engage in these activities knowing that they are intrinsically evil are not suffering from “psychiatric illness.” They are fully aware and in control of what they are doing. The fact that they get addicted to the behavior does not excuse them at all. You don’t resolve to defeat this spiritually and physically deadly “behavior” by resolving to gradually come-off it.

People don’t commit suicide because they are afraid of going to hell. They commit suicide because they become a slave to their vice. The demons want to destroy both soul and body. Guilt and the fear of hell are natural and a necessary part of the process in defeating vice.

Nothing in my post was ill-informed nor have you demonstrated it as such.
 
Let me be honest here. This might offend some of you but I think this is important.

‘Why would God care that you masturbate’?

I mean, seriously. Is it such a big deal? There are people starving and dying every day and in the cosmos the planets are burning up before they even start. But God just happens to be more bothered that you are masturbating?

Don’t you think it is kind of arrogant to think like this? Surely God is more concerned about the far worse stuff happening in the world.
Because God gets to make the rules. We follow the rules and therefore become happy. Every sin has a double element, material and formal. The material element in sin is its content and this is always good; there is nothing in the visible universe that is intrinsically wicked. Sex, gold, alcohol - all these things are good and therefore are desirable. Sinners look only at the material element of a sin and find it good - as it is. Then, when they have abused its goodness, they turn against God because the effects of this misuse have brought them misery. The Devil’s greatest masterpiece is never more than a perversion - an ingenious disordering of Another’s grand design, a perversion of order into chaos, of life into death. God created Sex good, in the proper context. Sex, in the proper context, makes you happy. Satan perverts that context and tells the lie that pornography and masturbation and fornication and sodomy, etc. make you happy when in fact these sins of the flesh bring death, despair and untold misery upon mankind.

And to your notion that God should be more concerned about the physical suffering in the world rather than worry about someone masturbating: what you fail to realize is that private sin, especially the sins of the flesh, damage everyone in society including the innocent. When you are masturbating and looking at porn, etc. you are increasing the total evil in the world. You are engaging in an intrinsically evil act, just as evil as, say, murder (I know, it is hard to believe but it is true). If you persist in sins of the flesh you are going to bring pain and misfortune not only upon your soul but also upon your body (all the lies of “masturbation” being good for your health to the contrary) You are engaging in what Aleister Crowley termed “sex magic.” You are worshiping Satan even if you don’t know it. If the World, collectively, stopped sinning tomorrow there would be peace and prosperity tomorrow. The Devil knows this and so keeps on telling the Big Lie. God only permits suffering and evil because he can bring good out of it and the innocent that suffer for your sins are helping to bring all to salvation.
 
You are engaging in an intrinsically evil act, just as evil as, say, murder (I know, it is hard to believe but it is true).]
This is the part about the teaching that really bothers me. How could masturbation be equally as bad as taking one’s life? Crazy, but unfortunately that’s how it is.
 
This is the part about the teaching that really bothers me. How could masturbation be equally as bad as taking one’s life? Crazy, but unfortunately that’s how it is.
Actually, no, the Church has no such official teaching. Yes, both are considered sufficiently serious to cut one off from God’s grace, but that does not mean that they are just as serious as each other, it just means that they are both more serious than a certain threshold. If someone told you that 1 trillion and 1 thousand were both more than 100 would you then assume that 1 trillion is just as large as 1 thousand? No, of course not. Similarly it is wrong to claim that the Church teaches that these two sins are equally sinful. 🤷
 
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