Masturbation Corruption

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Joshua66

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Before I start I’m just gonna tell you this will be a long boring story, but I’m trying to get something from you guys to help.

I started masturbating when I was like 11, I had no clue what it was, and I never heard of it. And one day in church waiting to go to confession I was reading a ‘how to make a confession guide,’ (just to entertain myself) and I read masturbation. Didn’t find out what it was till a few months later. I’ve known ever since then it was mortal. When I was a kid I masturbated everyday just because it felt like the greatest thing ever. And after 2 years I decided I seriously want to stop and I care about mortal sin affecting my soul. Now I’ve been doing it a looong time now and I am no where near good. I’ve gotten into pornography, and its not as bad as my urge to masturbate but it is still bad. I’ve been searching online everywhere ‘how to stop masturbating’ and all related titles. I know its NATURAL for teenagers but I seriously want to stop. I know it is a serious sin and offense against God, I’ve read visions of Hell and other things from saints to put the fear of eternal damnation in me and it does no good. It doesn’t scare me honestly. I’ve tried to think of greater evils like murders and rape and other terrible sins and how they are all equal and mortal and I am supporting the same evil I swore against in my baptismal vows. I can go on for at least 2-4 days then I give in, then I’d look at porn or something. I’ve been praying Hail Marys, Rosaries, Divine Mercy Chaplet, Memorae, St Michael and every other prayer out of the book and I even searched long non catholic prayers or something online and I’m at no where. I go to confession like every week and I ask Dominic Savio and Mary to help me against my lust. Then I had a girlfriend for sometime and I had no desire or urge to masturbate because I truly thought that I loved her and I had a true relationship with her. Well it wasn’t true and whatever that feeling was that kept me from doing it I guess was stronger than my love for God. I broke up with her within a week because she admitted she would cheat on me. Then I received confirmation, I prayed for all the graces I would need against lust and to have strength. I felt strong and felt truly different until 5 days later I ended up masturbating again…!!
And so now I feel like I’m not getting anywhere and I almost do not care anymore at all.
I’ll be 15 next month and Ive been fighting this thing since I was like 12 and I think it has honestly dominated my life. I’m not social, I don’t have friends or get along with my family, I’m trying to get a summer job make my self do something productive. I guess you can say my love for God isn’t as strong or serious enough to make me stop but I seriously don’t know what to do. My parents just scorn me they’re no help they don’t understand I honestly don’t care though. I talk to my priest about it he just tells me to pray and run away from it preoccupy my self.

Guys, I’ve tried almost everything I can I swear to you I put a lot of searching and prayer and effort and it has had no effect on me whatsoever. I want to be pure. I want to get rid of this habit. I don’t want clinical care I don’t want therapy or any of that, I’d hope that prayer would be better than garbage like that. Please and ideas or tips or something anything. I finally decided to ask this question on a serious catholic website to dawdle with. This is my last attempt I’m done trying to fight my body. I know I shouldn’t give up, I’ve always known all things are possible in Christ. But I cannot do it.
 
hey Joshua,

don’t beat yourself up over this. to a certain extent it is natural, especially at your age.

however, if it affects your life then its out of hand.

this is what i would do.

stop the porn. cold turkey, you don’t need it. it’s degrading.

try to get busy, get a job you’d enjoy, take some classes at local college. join groups if you can.

i believe in “baby steps” when tackling problems.i’m a guy so i know how you feel.

if you’re going 2-4 days pat yourself on the back, that’s great.
1-2 days is even good at your age.

just do the best you can with it and confess the rest.

it’ll be ok.

God loves you and will help.
 
I’m not a man, so I don’t have much advice about techniques that might help you to stop other than maybe getting a roommate. However, I will pray for you and I think you are right in trying to get disciplined against porn now. It will be a much harder habit to break when you are older and could even progess into a full on addition. Good luck!
 
Joshua,

I understand quite well what you are going through and you are not alone.

Please check out the Impurity Addiction Support Group at Catholic Answers Groups.

I began at nine years old and went very quickly from masturbation to porn, to anonymous sex, serial sexual relations, prostitution, orgies, etc.

You can also see that you are not alone by checking out:

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
Sex Addicts Anonymous
Sexaholics Anonymous

Also a book The Hook and I: A Catholic 12-Step Program blessedmargaret.org/The_Hook_and_I.htm or at Amazon

In Christ
 
First of all, you are fighting the good fight! Young men have a huge challenge these days, with porn so available all over the internet. Do not give up, though!

You are isolating yourself, and that will drive you back toward porn and self-stimulation. You need to 1) get accountable for your habit, with someone else who is similarly tempted. This means you need to join some sort of group which is dedicated to helping men stop looking at porn. 2) the accountability will mean that you must install some sort of blocking software on your computer or your router. You cannot have access to the password for that software. Your accountability partner should not be a girlfriend, but it might be an older brother or even your dad, depending on his own character. You said you don’t get along with your parents right now, so that might not be an option.
  1. Go to Adoration, confession, and receive the Eucharist as frequently as possible. The grace you receive from the sacraments will help strengthen you to keep fighting against temptation.
  2. Put a statue of the Virgin Mary next to your computer. Put an image of her as your wallpaper. Every time you are tempted, say a Hail Mary or two. I see you have said that you already pray a lot, and that is good. Prayer is never in vain.
  3. I think you should stay away from the computer for a while. Just shut it down and get out and do other things. Don’t you have any interests, hobbies, etc. that will take you out into the world of people and away from the porn on the internet?
Here is what is on the “Chastity” tab on the top of this forum:

How to Stop Looking at Porn

I hope that helps a little. Do not be discouraged! Continue to fight, never give up!
 
Go to your doctor and ask for something to reduce your libido. I use Paxil for anxiety and depression and now have a perfectly “normal” libido.
 
Robert_Sock said:
Go to your doctor and ask for something to reduce your libido. I use Paxil for anxiety and depression and now have a perfectly “normal” libido.
Click to expand...
no,no,no
licorice is a good libido reducer.
paxil for a teen can lead to suicide.
op you are on the right path to overcoming. one doesn’t climb a hill in one step, it takes take one step to start.
 
Joshua,

I’m a 61 year old man who has been fighting this battle since my conversion at 33. I have found that frequent confession and prayer before the Blessed Sacrament has been the answer for me. I was very frustrated confessing the same sin over and over but our Lord’s Graces are so powerful. I will pray for your holiness and purity. As you kneel before the Blessed Sacrament, completely surrender yourself to Jesus. Keep fighting Joshua!
 
Robert_Sock said:
Go to your doctor and ask for something to reduce your libido. I use Paxil for anxiety and depression and now have a perfectly “normal” libido.
Click to expand...
Are you kidding, right? If a doctor gives him an anti-depressant drug only to stop an hormonal stage totally normal at that age, I think that doctor should have his license revoked.
 
Joshua66 said:
Before I start I’m just gonna tell you this will be a long boring story, but I’m trying to get something from you guys to help.

I started masturbating when I was like 11, I had no clue what it was, and I never heard of it. And one day in church waiting to go to confession I was reading a ‘how to make a confession guide,’ (just to entertain myself) and I read masturbation. Didn’t find out what it was till a few months later. I’ve known ever since then it was mortal. When I was a kid I masturbated everyday just because it felt like the greatest thing ever. And after 2 years I decided I seriously want to stop and I care about mortal sin affecting my soul. Now I’ve been doing it a looong time now and I am no where near good. I’ve gotten into pornography, and its not as bad as my urge to masturbate but it is still bad. I’ve been searching online everywhere ‘how to stop masturbating’ and all related titles. I know its NATURAL for teenagers but I seriously want to stop. I know it is a serious sin and offense against God, I’ve read visions of Hell and other things from saints to put the fear of eternal damnation in me and it does no good. It doesn’t scare me honestly. I’ve tried to think of greater evils like murders and rape and other terrible sins and how they are all equal and mortal and I am supporting the same evil I swore against in my baptismal vows. I can go on for at least 2-4 days then I give in, then I’d look at porn or something. I’ve been praying Hail Marys, Rosaries, Divine Mercy Chaplet, Memorae, St Michael and every other prayer out of the book and I even searched long non catholic prayers or something online and I’m at no where. I go to confession like every week and I ask Dominic Savio and Mary to help me against my lust. Then I had a girlfriend for sometime and I had no desire or urge to masturbate because I truly thought that I loved her and I had a true relationship with her. Well it wasn’t true and whatever that feeling was that kept me from doing it I guess was stronger than my love for God. I broke up with her within a week because she admitted she would cheat on me. Then I received confirmation, I prayed for all the graces I would need against lust and to have strength. I felt strong and felt truly different until 5 days later I ended up masturbating again…!!
And so now I feel like I’m not getting anywhere and I almost do not care anymore at all.
I’ll be 15 next month and Ive been fighting this thing since I was like 12 and I think it has honestly dominated my life. I’m not social, I don’t have friends or get along with my family, I’m trying to get a summer job make my self do something productive. I guess you can say my love for God isn’t as strong or serious enough to make me stop but I seriously don’t know what to do. My parents just scorn me they’re no help they don’t understand I honestly don’t care though. I talk to my priest about it he just tells me to pray and run away from it preoccupy my self.

Guys, I’ve tried almost everything I can I swear to you I put a lot of searching and prayer and effort and it has had no effect on me whatsoever. I want to be pure. I want to get rid of this habit. I don’t want clinical care I don’t want therapy or any of that, I’d hope that prayer would be better than garbage like that. Please and ideas or tips or something anything. I finally decided to ask this question on a serious catholic website to dawdle with. This is my last attempt I’m done trying to fight my body. I know I shouldn’t give up, I’ve always known all things are possible in Christ. But I cannot do it.
Click to expand...
Nobody is perfect. Give yourself a break. Relax. You are not a bad person. Guys at your age have very high hormonal levels for a variety of reasons. Your bone and muscle growth require high testosterone levels. In nature, you would be entering procreation age. So, first of all, just recognize that what you are experiencing is part of being a young man. Every guy deals with it at your age, to one degree or another.

Keep in mind that hormonal levels in males peak in the early morning. You should be extra vigilant then. You can get software to block porn sites for your computer. One trick that I find useful with any behavior, especially with behavior which is potentially addictive, or has powerful biological drive associated with it, is to make a list.

Write down on a piece of paper all of the reasons that you don’t want to masturbate. Maybe even laminate it. Carry it with you. When you feel a strong urge to masturbate, pull out the list and read through it. Take a moment to pray too. Then decide if you still want to masturbate. I have used this technique to quit smoking. It worked, after many failed attempts.

Everyone has advice to give. What works for one person, might not work for another. I hope this helps.
 
I would suggest a healthy outlet to replace that habit. Definitely try running or working out in some way on a regular basis if possible. Porn is something that I am fighting–right now I am reading about the truth behind the industry. The more I read about the dehumanization and abusive treatment of performers, the less I am inclined to indulge in any fantasies.
 
igor1980 said:
Are you kidding, right? If a doctor gives him an anti-depressant drug only to stop an hormonal stage totally normal at that age, I think that doctor should have his license revoked.
Click to expand...
Drugs are commonly used for purposes other than that which it was intended. My psychiatrist prescribes Paxil to sex offenders!
 
Joshua,

-receive the sacraments regularly
-read online Catholic literature about sexual addictions for techniques on how to re-direct your mind away from temptations
  • keep sacramentals (especially a crucifix, and images of our Blessed Mother) in the location in which you typically engage in your habit, such that these objects are directly visible to you
    -obtain holy water and sprinkle it in the said location, and use some on yourself as well when you are experiencing temptations
  • Also as a deterrent, imagine Christ standing physically right in front of you. Ask yourself, would you do this in his presence? Then remember that he, as God, is omniscient and omnipresent – thus, when a person masturbates, he indeed is a witness.
  • most especially pray when the urge to masturbate comes upon you. Pray to St. Joseph and your guardian angel.
You will be in my prayers.
 
Robert_Sock said:
Drugs are commonly used for purposes other than that which it was intended. My psychiatrist prescribes Paxil to sex offenders!
Click to expand...
Suggesting anti-depressants for a teen is not a very good idea. As many can cause and do cause suicidal tendicies in teens.
 
Joshua66 said:
This is my last attempt I’m done trying to fight my body. I know I shouldn’t give up, I’ve always known all things are possible in Christ. But I cannot do it.
Click to expand...
For some appreciation of the forces you are fighting:


  1. *]payingattentiontothesky.com/2012/05/22/reading-selections-i-from-how-porn-became-the-norm-by-pamela-paul/

    *]payingattentiontothesky.com/2012/05/23/reading-selections-ii-from-how-porn-became-the-norm-by-pamela-paul/

    Never ever ever give up.

    dj
 
fbl9 said:
Suggesting anti-depressants for a teen is not a very good idea. As many can cause and do cause suicidal tendicies in teens.
Click to expand...
As long as he is under the guidance of a doctor, I think it’s OK for a teen to take anti-depressants.
 
Robert_Sock said:
Drugs are commonly used for purposes other than that which it was intended. My psychiatrist prescribes Paxil to sex offenders!
Click to expand...
Paxil is a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. In other words, it prevents the neurotransmitter serotonin from being reabsorbed at the synaptic junction as rapidly as it would after the neuron fires. More serotonin affects mood positively.

One of the problems with increased serotonin levels, is that they throw other neurotransmitter levels out of whack, notably dopamine. This in turn reduces libido. But more importantly, low dopamine levels reduce the ability to enjoy affection and to love another person.

Anti-depressants are wonderful drugs. They save lives. They transform lives. But I would not recommend tinkering with a teenagers hormone levels, or brain chemistry in order to reduce the urge to masturbate.
 
Well, I would definitely stop looking at porn ASAP. Quit cold turkey. Put a filter on your computer if you have to. I would also try to keep yourself busy. When you feel lustful thoughts coming on then distract yourself. Also, try not to be alone too much. Other than that, I don’t know what else to suggest.
 
epan said:
Paxil is a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. In other words, it prevents the neurotransmitter serotonin from being reabsorbed at the synaptic junction as rapidly as it would after the neuron fires. More serotonin affects mood positively.

One of the problems with increased serotonin levels, is that they throw other neurotransmitter levels out of whack, notably dopamine. This in turn reduces libido. **But more importantly, low dopamine levels reduce the ability to enjoy affection and to love another person.
**
Anti-depressants are wonderful drugs. They save lives. They transform lives. But I would not recommend tinkering with a teenagers hormone levels, or brain chemistry in order to reduce the urge to masturbate.
Click to expand...
Do you have a reference for the bold statement? Are you referring to one’s sex life here?
 
I’m a young man preparing for the priesthood & I have worked with other young men & women for years.
From my own experience of people struggling with this - here is what I would say;

“I know I shouldn’t give up, I’ve always known all things are possible in Christ. But I cannot do it.”

The fact that you so desperately want to give up tells me that you’re on the right track. You are correct in that you cannot do it - Alone. Rely on Christ and place all your trust in Him and this will go away.

“Go to your doctor and ask for something to reduce your libido. I use Paxil for anxiety and depression and now have a perfectly “normal” libido.”

Going on a drug is most definitely not the answer. You do not need to medicate yourself for an issue that can be worked out with prayer and spiritual direction.

This is what I recommend:
1 - Get a good spiritual director/regular confessor to discuss this issue with in the context of confession

2 - Pray constantly…and I mean constantly. Bring prayer into everything you do. Especially devotion to Our Blessed Mother. Satan hates this and will not persist in tempting you to sexual sin if you invoke Mary.

3 - Persist. No matter what…keep up your prayer and even go to mass more often if you can. It’s impossible to continue sinning like this if you are genuinely resolved to stopping and also praying and receiving the sacraments.

If you fall…just get back up and continue on with the resolve to not sin again. (Do not dwell on past mistakes)
I would also say weekly confession is important. Even more if you need it.

And just rely on Jesus to get you through…what more can I say.

Oh…live life (not that you’re not already). But you mentioned that you felt alone. Try to get out, walk, go kayaking, get into nature or whatever interests you. Hobbies really help.

Personally, I don’t think you’re addicted or need to join a support group or be medicated. This is prettymuch a classic - and it gets easier the more you pray.

You will be in my prayers.
God Bless
 
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