One of the biggest thing that disturbs me is that I often seem to wake up and consent to masturbate to these images, even debating the morality of the action and deciding to do it anyways even though I know it’s wrong. But then I wake up for real later on.
Those are still just dreams. Remind yourself of that. You aren’t consenting for real, because you are still asleep–and unconscious people can’t give consent (have you seen the “tea” video?
). Perhaps the devil is trying to get you to imagine yourself consenting to this sin because it can be easier to do what we’ve
thought about doing beforehand, and because if you believe you’ve already sinned (even when you haven’t yet), you’re more likely to fall into (more) sin. The devil’s trying to break down your barriers and get you to despair and sin. But again, dreaming that you consent to sin
is still just a bad dream. There is no sin in that. There is no actual consent.
Don’t entertain the thought that you “should” have control over your dream self, or that you’re guilty of doing something wrong, or that there is something “wrong” with you because your body is physically aroused when you’re aroused in your mind. Your body is just responding to
the idea that you’re aroused, not necessarily to those images you’re dreaming of.
Keep dismissing these dreams as “just dreams,” not as something sinful. Eventually, it will get better–but you have to remind yourself that these dreams are not worthy of taking your attention away from your spiritual life. Worrying about them is only distracting you from doing what you should be doing–you NEED to be praying and focusing on holy things, putting God first,
not allowing this to come between you and God. You are still a child of God, and He loves you.
The devil wants you to think that it’s awful or “dirty” to speak to God after dreams like this disturb you. But speaking to God is what you need to help overcome these things! Don’t be afraid to pray for help, and if it’s too difficult to approach God directly right now, then ask the saints and Mary to pray for you. But don’t give up and don’t avoid prayer. You need to refocus your mind on holy things after dealing with disturbing things.
Will say a prayer for you!
