Masturbation, I seriously cannot win against it

[slywakka250]

I used to feel very guilty about masturbation. It used to deeply tear me up inside, so much so that when I’d go and do it after abstaining for a few days or weeks, I’d be miserable. I felt like I’d turned away from God, and would run to confession at the earliest opportunity.

This whole process of abstaining, and struggling, and falling felt to me like a vicious cycle of guilt and pain.

All this negativity was simply numbing to my soul. So I have since changed my attitude. While currently, I don’t really believe the whole concept of “sin”, I still recognize that masturbation may be worthwhile to avoid.

masturbation, especially if done frequently, has a strong negative effect on my sex drive, and on my motivation to meet women. Masturbation also takes a lot of energy out of me, and while it may be useful when falling to sleep, The effect seems to last for me up to 48 hours after doing it last. Masturbation can make you lazy, and tired, and boring because you don’t seek as much connection with other people, because you are focused too much on yourself.

 

[Beautiful_Rose]

I wrote in another thread dealing with this, but again I will say: go cold turkey and get rid of any temptations in regards to that. Get closer to God and focus on healthier and more productive things. It’s what helped me kick the habit once I truly accepted God into my life and am feeling much better and my relationship is doing even better now that my partner and I kicked the habit together, because it was only hurting us and pulling us apart during difficult times.

Best wishes and remember you can do this! You only have to accept God and tough it out till you’ve completely kicked the habit.

 

[coachkfan1]

Have you tried going to daily mass? Frequent confession? Avail yourselves of the graces the church has in place to help you fight the sin. I can tell you from experience, going to mass every day for a while will make a difference.

This is the worst advice possible. One should not encourage another to sin and claim it natural.

What this person said. Get thee unto confession and to Mass! Sure it is a struggle, as we all struggle with some sin, but to tell somebody that it is ok is putting the eternal soul of others in jeopardy. And that is a very serious sin in itself.

 

[knightbird111]

whats pretty crazy is I have ongoing head pains that randomly surround my head and the pains get so intense that I eventually give into the sin.

I am lucky I was even freed from the lustful thoughts constantly bombarding me each day…why does Satan put people in such a hardcore mental grip?

Also temptations hit me 3 times a day, is this normal? I feel like my struggle to walk with the Lord is the hardest thing I ever have done.

I say to myself is it really this difficult, I guess Satan really want to make sure I go to hell?

The thing which scares me the most is if I were to full blown fall right back into the bondage to sin porn and the rest and then 7 super bad spirits enter me …and I end up in a much worse situation than when I started.

I am surprised I was even able to get free.

 

[Terico]

It’s an addiction. Your brain is wired. There is a HUGE neurochemical component to this.
The will is compromised. Need to take action, in addition to Sacraments.

12 Steps S.A. help many. Sobriety definition is same as what Catholic Church teaches.

Talk to a Catholic Counselor, search http://www.catholictherapists.com/
Ask if experienced in helping men with this issue. Make sure the Therapist is aligned with the teaching of the Catholic Church (should be, if on this web site, but ask anyway)

Catholic Therapist Peter Kleponis seems to have the right understanding and approach
integrityrestored.com/

There is an online program focused on the “un-wiring” the addicted mind called Candeo. Now they have partnered with Elizabeth Ministry International (Catholic organization) , to provide a Catholic focused Theology of the Body principles into the content. I understand this Catholic version of Candeo is not yet available, but soon. reclaimsexualhealth.com

I cannot recommend it, since I have not taken the course, nor know anyone that has.
But may be worth looking into it.

Don’t despair, but do TAKE ACTION. Addictions, if untreated, will progress.

God Bless you.

 

[anonymous_in_fl]

What helped me immensely was a 3 day fast with bread and water. I was determined to offer my “sufferings” as a sacrifice. I went to morning mass on a Friday, and confession on Saturday, and Sunday morning mass.

I kept the weekend in silence, solitude, and prayer asking God to help me.

I cant tell you what an immense help this was for me.

 

[perro_sarnoso]

Well I have come to find out that Jesus is real and I have one sin which I cannot overcome.
Now if I try hard to fight this sin I get major headaches and anxiety.

The Lord removed alot of lust from my mind, I used to fantasize all day with porn videos playing in my mind. I had a 1 year fight of cleansing my mind and now my mind is silent with none of these sinful videos playing.

Ultimately my problem is I cannot go for 3 days without falling into masturbation. It is as if Satan is aware I escaped his mental control and now he is making every effort to keep my soul dead. I pray and pray but no luck, maybe fasting…idk

I cannot even go for a good week or month. 2-3 days and the pressure in my head gets so great added with a 3 min lustful though and I just give in each time.

Why did God damn Man with masturbation? I seriously do not see any way of stopping unless cutting it off…any suggestions?

Are you a tough guy?

Lets say, for the sake of argument that you are a tough guy. Is it pretty tough to go 3 days without spanking the monkey?
Try praying the Rosary on your knees for 3 straight weeks - everyday, without fail, on a hard surface,…no cushion…that’s for whimps…cause you are a tough guy.

A little sacrifice goes a long way. The Blessed Mother will bring your (honest) efforts to fruition.

I promise you.

 

[Robert_Sock]

whats pretty crazy is I have ongoing head pains that randomly surround my head and the pains get so intense that I eventually give into the sin.

I am lucky I was even freed from the lustful thoughts constantly bombarding me each day…why does Satan put people in such a hardcore mental grip?

Also temptations hit me 3 times a day, is this normal? I feel like my struggle to walk with the Lord is the hardest thing I ever have done.

I say to myself is it really this difficult, I guess Satan really want to make sure I go to hell?

The thing which scares me the most is if I were to full blown fall right back into the bondage to sin porn and the rest and then 7 super bad spirits enter me …and I end up in a much worse situation than when I started.

I am surprised I was even able to get free.

Ask a psychologist about this and they will likely condone your behavior as “normal,” but from a religious perspective you are living with sin. On your own you will get nowhere, but with the help of God’s grace you can overcome this sin.

 

[knightbird111]

I feel like I am fighting with this sin every hour of each day. I generally fall on the 3rd or 4th day due to major head and jaw tension.

 

[PaulinVA]

May I suggest physical activity and Advil?

Go do something else when you feel the tension - learn another behavior. Head hurts and feel tension - go running. LIft weights. Do pushups.

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

I would say venial sins are meant there…

(speaking as to the objective nature of the act in question such is serious not venial…but it is possible of course that a persons culpability is reduced).

The other person would be recommended to read the things at the top of this site on chastity etc and see a regular confessor to help them overcome this difficulty.

Venial? The scripture does not say so. It is your interpretation.
For masturbation » see the site+confession?
I agree but it is not enough…
I wish him luck if your remedy is enough…

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

I feel your pain, I used to be enslaved by it, it is disgusting and terrible i know. Months back i was addicted to it, it was terrible, the thoughts the urge and finally giving in. But through Confession and the EUCHARIST ( as i am diserning a call to the religious life and Priesthood, i decided in that i would get my act together!!) I stopped, by the grace, love and mercy of the SACRED HEART. Pray to The SACRED HEART, EUCharistic Adoration, The Rosary, Praying to Our Lady and St. Joseph, as well as your patron saint (s) should help. Really ask for the grace, and it will be given to you!! however i strongly disagree with the poster who said it is natural and part of the hormones. Wrong. Objectivley, it is a mortal sin, although addiction reduces cupability. So please Pray, Pray, and Pray. You can and will stop. I could, so can you! I’ll say a prayer for you!!

I am terribly interested on your post.
Could you detail it more?
How many times the mass and confession?
How many times the prayer?
How the pray to St. Joseph and Holy Mary?
How to the Sacred Heart.
When the Eucharistic adoration?

Sorry to waste your time but I am very, vey interested.

 

[ivebeenshown]

Is your mind silent after receiving the Holy Spirit?

My mind is very silent but I will get a bad headache and then temptation and a bad image comes in.

Jesus was tempted.

That is why I recommend what I recommended

 

[Rockie01]

Lots of good ideas on here. Catholic focused Counseling, Focus on eliminating the behavior, Oh and celebrate the days you are successful, it’s one day closer to healing. I would also look at it from this perspective, Satan can have no power over you that you do not personally give him. But, I see also that all of these posts can actually be overwhelming and confusing. I’d write out a plan of action. Identify the problem, seek help-Catholic focused, like a previous poster said, if you go to any counselor, they will tell you that “it’s okay”. Catholic focused counseling can help you to understand why you are addicted and help you find a way to stop this behavior. Be responsible for your actions, but don’t condemn yourself, if you’re trying to stop, as I said celebrate the successes no matter how small. You have to find what works for you. Best of Luck.

 

[rotlex]

** I was thinking about a pill to lower testosterone might do the trick.** I prayed alot and was set free from the porn thoughts but I do not understand why the Lord would keep me with this addiction to masturbation.

I feel if I quit it I will eventually run right back to it each time. What annoys me is its always on my mind. I am really amazed at how some of you were set totally free.

So I guess many people will go to hell for this sin and I find it sad because in my eyes it is an impossible sin to give up.

I do not smoke, drink, do drugs but this one thing is basically my downfall. The other sins you can just avoid the store, bar, drug dealer and your ok but with this sin its connected to the body so your like damned with it.

This site is amazing. All these posts, and unless I missed it, no one mentions the bold quote from above this person mentions? Seriously, if you are really thinking this, stop reading forums about religion, and go visit a psychiatrist.

This is my advice. I struggled with masturbation for a long time. (and porn). I stopped. Cold turkey for a number of reasons, not the least of which were religious. Was it easy? Yes actually, as is anything you truly want to do. As the Nike ads say, just do it. Just decide one day it’s ridiculous, self serving, whatever. If you really want to stop, you will. Don’t do it for “religion”, do it for yourself. If you slip up once in a while, brush it off. Don’t stress yourself over it, and by all means, don’t think about lowering your testosterone levels. (Really, that is like the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard).

Lastly. Stop reading these forums. While many here have good intentions, they pretty much spew the Catechism and other Church teachings at you verbatim, without any thought or concern for actually being “human”. Really, I often think many on these forums are probably secret pedophiles, sex offenders, and everything else in the book who simply like to tell others what’s right and wrong.

Do it for yourself. No one else, and certainly, again, if you are REALLY considering somehow lowering your testosterone over this, see a doctor before you do anything you’ll regret.

 

[knightbird111]

pull a cold turkey?..trust me I seriously cannot go 3 days with it getting me again. It is like programmed in my mind. The more I avoid it, the more head pains I get. It is insane. I do not understand what is the underlying reason I cannot break free.

Once I look at porn the pain in my head starts to leave. It is not something I can just completely stop without going into a seizure or something. I must have a demon in me or something.

As for those of you who stop cold turkey, that amazes me.

I can even feel my ears twitch from avoiding masturbation. Its really crazy

 

[georgemiller]

Acts 14:22 "strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith. “We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God,” they said.

The best advice I have for you is to persevere in seeking to be in union with the will of God as taught by His Church. Do that through the sacraments, christian love of neighbor and abundant prayer. Pray daily that God will forgive your sins, heal, strenthen and transform you. All of us have a history of sin, the key is to also have a history of love, prayer and the grace of the sacraments with you especially on judgment day. When I meet Jesus, I hope and pray it will be with that personal history.

So persevere, if you fail pick yourself up and start over, and if necessary over and over, but don’t give up, especially if you have the above history on your side. God bless.

 

[Prodigal_40s]

I STRONGLY recommend you read this (see link below) and take the advice from the other posters by praying and going to confession. Avoid watching pornography and replace thinking with activities like hobbies or distraction techniques like reading. Masturbation is a mortal sin and Sex is NOT a human need. That’s something that the secular media are claiming to be a fact when it isn’t. God bless and you can defeat the urge if you change your thinking

www.chastitysf.com/q_masturbation.htm

 

[Ubenedictus]

I think that masturbating is something natural and part of someone’s life. The hormones require you to do it.

Just calm down and I guess do it just to release yourself from the condition. Blessings

what do you mean by ‘natural’? I could say stealing is natural and it is still a sin. My dear it is disordered, the easiest way to fight it is confession. I had problems with porm some time ago but im thankfull to God that is ended there and masturbation didnt folow i think you should find something to keep you busy.
Ubenedictus

 

[Traditional_Ang]

Well I have come to find out that Jesus is real and I have one sin which I cannot overcome.
Now if I try hard to fight this sin I get major headaches and anxiety.

The Lord removed alot of lust from my mind, I used to fantasize all day with porn videos playing in my mind. I had a 1 year fight of cleansing my mind and now my mind is silent with none of these sinful videos playing.

Ultimately my problem is I cannot go for 3 days without falling into masturbation. It is as if Satan is aware I escaped his mental control and now he is making every effort to keep my soul dead. I pray and pray but no luck, maybe fasting…idk

I cannot even go for a good week or month. 2-3 days and the pressure in my head gets so great added with a 3 min lustful though and I just give in each time.

Why did God damn Man with masturbation? I seriously do not see any way of stopping unless cutting it off…any suggestions?

Knightbird:

Remember what St. Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:
Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
1 Corinthians 12:7b-9a (NIV)
1 Corinthians 12:1-10 (Biblegateway - 5 Translations)
Nowhere does St. Paul tell us what that “thorn in the flesh” was. He just tells us that it drove him absolutely nuts and that our Lord had to assure him that His grace was sufficient for Him and that His Power was perfected in Paul’s weakness. So. Please understand hat this is your thorn in the flesh, that this is your reminder that you have to rely on God’s Grace, that you have to give everything over to Jesus, by everything - I mean everything, including the embarrassing, humiliating stuff you think He would never ever want to hear. He wants ALL of us, even those parts of us that so gross us out that we either turn beet-red or think of puking when we think of them.

I know you probably thin you’re going to bore the living dailights out of your confessor, or worse, by confessing the same tired sin. But, That’s Satan, the Liar and Accuser of the Brethren talking. It’s no more true than that 2 + 2 = 5.5 or that Gravity causes things to fall away from each other or that objects at rest tend to start moving on their own. It’s a Lie! Your confessor is there for one purpose, to hear and absolve you of your sins (esp. of your annoyingly repetitive or besetting sins) and to give you “Ghostly” or Spiritual Council so you can ultimately triumph over them. Contrary to what that Liar is trying to tell you, he’s not there to condemn you for falling into the same stupid sin again (we all do that - That’s why they’re called “Besetting Sins” in Spiritual Literature) or to deny you absolution because you can’t seem to go a whole week without committing that sin again (“firm purpose of amendment” means that you hate the sin and its effects, that you don’t want to do the sin and that you’ll confess it if you fall into it again). From your post, all of these are present…

So, Go, Confess, be absolved, and understand that our Lord puts away your sin as He promised, and that His grace is sufficient for you. OK?

Your Brother & Servant in Christ,
Michael