Masturbation, I seriously cannot win against it

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knightbird111 said:
pull a cold turkey?..trust me I seriously cannot go 3 days with it getting me again. It is like programmed in my mind. The more I avoid it, the more head pains I get. It is insane. I do not understand what is the underlying reason I cannot break free.

Once I look at porn the pain in my head starts to leave. It is not something I can just completely stop without going into a seizure or something. I must have a demon in me or something.

As for those of you who stop cold turkey, that amazes me.

I can even feel my ears twitch from avoiding masturbation. Its really crazy
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Knightbird:

I don’t know how the other guys stopped - All I know is that I spent an awful lot of time in prayer begging the Lord to remove this “thorn in the flesh” from me, and one day, the answer changed from “No” or “Wait” to “Yes”. I just woke up one day and found this overpowering lust removed. It was miraculous.

Meanwhile, thank the Lord for the days when you’re able to avoid this sin, and remember that our Lord doesn’t consign you to the iciest regions of hell for doing it when you do - He just wants you to pick yourself up and to go to Confession and tell your confessor what you’ve told us, including the bit about the headaches.

Now, this is going to be hard here, and I just might get “flamed” for this, but here goes. Our Lord is far more worried about the State of You - He’s far more concerned that you know in your core that He really loves you, that He would have did everything He did and suffered everything He did if you were the only sinner who would have accepted His sacrifice. The Holy Prophet Isaiah says, “I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.” (Isaiah 49:16a GOD’S WORD)
Isaiah 49:14-26 (Biblegateway)

And, St. Paul the Apostle says; (Romans 8:34-39 NET Bible)
What then shall we say about these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Indeed, he who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along with him, freely give us all things? Who will bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is the one who will condemn? Christ is the one who died (and more than that, he was raised), who is at the right hand of God, and who also is interceding for us. Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will trouble, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we encounter death all day long; we were considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we have complete victory through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor heavenly rulers, nor things that are present, nor things to come, nor powers, 8:39 nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:31-39 (NET Bible)
Romans 8:14-39 (Biblegateway)
I could go on - Our Lord doesn’t want you to cower in fear over this sin - He wants you to take it to Him and hand it over, however often it takes and for as long as it takes. You’ll find He’s a lot more patient and gentle than most of us.

Do both of us a favor. Find a copy of the RSV-2CE if you can and read the 23rd & 24th Psalms together, Pray them SLOWLY. As you do, use - “The Lord is my shepherd” as a refrain, and say it every couple of verses Ps. 23 (“The Lord is my Shepherd”) vs 1-2, 3-4, & 5-6; Ps 24 ("The earth is the Lord’s) vs. 1-2, 3-4, 5-6, 7-8 & 9-10. I was amazed when I realized that the Lord who is my Shepherd is the King of Glory who made the universe… Here’s the link from Biblegateway.

I really do hope this helps.
Your Brother in Christ,
Michael
 
I think the problem with your concept is that maybe God wants you to go to Hell. A friend of my who isn’t even a practicing Christian told me that he thinks I have this concept that there’s this spotlight on me and God’s out to get me. While I think his whole concept of its okay for me to do this and do that is absolutely wrong. I’m realizing he’s right that I am hard on myself, and I think your being hard on yourself as well. Your not perfect, your never going to be perfect. That’s why there is God’s grace! There is this great Scripture versus that talks about we have a Savior that knows our weaknesses.
Therefore since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast to our confession. For we do not have a high priest incapable of sympathizing with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in every way just as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us confidently approach the throne of grace to receive mercy and find grace whenever we need help. (Hebrews 4:14-16 NET)
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This may not be the Catholic translation.

God knows your trying and your weak. He knows your doing your best and I think He will through His Grace help you … Its a mortal sin because this type of sin snowballs in to other sins, and we as Christians need to have control over our sexual urges. Do you really think though that after you do it, and you have every intention of going to confession that Jesus is going to throw you in Hell, when he knows full well your sorry and your intention is to go to confession? (if that is your intention)

However He wants you to go to Confession and have the priest pray for you because this type of sin can seperate you from Him and its something you need to work on…

For me whats helped is that I need to fall in love with Jesus more than I love my sin…And its like Jesus help me love you more. But how can you truly love him, if you have this feeling He wants to throw you in Hell just because your struggling. He knows how hard it is for you… And He knows if your trying your best or not… He loves you… Remember that.
 
I dont know if Jesus will throw me in hell for masturbation. Maybe he will maybe wont. Extremist Christians would tell me he will because they tell me how many times did Adam and Eve sin?

I get two sides, from my experience, if I do this sin, 2 days later I feel a demon enter me and I end up cursing.

I’ve realized the slightest sin opens up a doorway for these evil spirits to attack.

It is difficult to say how strict Jesus will be when he arrives, and I am one of the few who is certain he will arrive. I personally do not like this whole thing about judgement day but I dont think there is any way around it being that it is in the scripture and therefore must take place.
 
knightbird111 said:
I dont know if Jesus will throw me in hell for masturbation. Maybe he will maybe wont. Extremist Christians would tell me he will because they tell me how many times did Adam and Eve sin?

I get two sides, from my experience, if I do this sin, 2 days later I feel a demon enter me and I end up cursing.

I’ve realized the slightest sin opens up a doorway for these evil spirits to attack.

It is difficult to say how strict Jesus will be when he arrives, and I am one of the few who is certain he will arrive. I personally do not like this whole thing about judgement day but I dont think there is any way around it being that it is in the scripture and therefore must take place.
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The slightest sin can lead to huge problems. And yes evil spirits to attack too! But the thing of the matter is to rely on God’s grace and when you fall to get back up, go to confession…
 
The man who only avoids the outward occasions of evil, but fails to uproot it in himself, will gain little advantage. Indeed, temptations will return upon him the sooner, and he will find himself in a worse state than before. Little by little and by patient endurance you will overcome them by God’s help.
-The Imitation of Christ (Book One, Chapter 13), by Thomas a Kempis
 
Hi knightbird111.

As you’ve probably seen by now, there’s been considerable discussion about this topic, and plenty of suggestions on stopping it. Most of us guys are in the same boat like you struggling with this problem. Some of us have struggled for a few years, will others have done so for decades. You are not alone! Don’t dispair! We are all in this together. What differentiates us from the rest of the world, is that we do realize this act is wrong, and that there is a higher authority watching us.

I disagree with a lot of suggestions posted on the forum for stopping this act. One person suggested applying pain, which I think is entirely wrong, if not psychologically damaging. Many centuries ago Origen had this problem and had himself castrated in an attempt to stop his problem - the result of which he was excommunicated by the church. Our bodies were created by God out of love - even our private parts.

Yes, do pray - daily, but don’t take it to extremes, and don’t focus too much on the problem. Yes, do quietly offer up to Jesus your problem, and with a contrite heart. However, bear in mind that once the urge begins and increases, no matter how much you pray, it becomes extremely difficult to prevent the act. And when that act happens and it leads to climax, and it usually leads to two or three more acts over the next couple days. At that point, just let it “blow out” (if I can use that expression). Like the rest of us, you will feel frustrated, unworthy, low, etc. We are all human beings, and we have weaknesses. If we were perfect, we would be God. Go to confession as soon as you possibly can (best to do so after that “blow out”). You can receive communion, as long as you go to confession prior to, or shortly after confession, with a contrite heart.

I want you to know that God loves you, and the rest of us guys – before, during and after the act. He doesn’t like what we do (yes, it is a mortal sin), but he still loves us and still wants to pour out his mercy on to us. Just remember that. Yes, he loves you. Ask Jesus to help you. Hold an icon image of Jesus against your chest near your heart for a few minutes and love Jesus. Think of him as your friend and brother. He too suffered - on the cross. We all have a cross to bear. We are united in Jesus’ suffering.

Ok knightbird111, we need to start talking about triggers. I’m not an expert, but maybe I can offer some ideas for help. I can think of 4 basic triggers (there may be a few more). These are: (1) stress, (2) fatigue/tiredness, (3) boredom, and (4) loneliness. All of these create a condition conducive to generating thoughts of fantasy or escape. It can lead us to find entertainment or relief. So we venture down this path of looking at erotic images (porn), thinking lustful or erotic thoughts, and/or listening to music with lyrics that contain colourful explicatives! And of course, that leads to the problem we are discussing here. So, each time you begin to feel the urge to do the act, try to identify the trigger that caused it.

If it is stress, you need to examine your lifestyle and see what areas are creating too much stress. Needless to say, you need to reduce stress (the bad forms of it, since some stress can be ok).

If you feel tired, then perhaps you need to consider getting more sleep. An adult human being needs about 8 hours of sleep per day. If you are having insomnia or other problems that are health related, see a doctor. You’ll feel a lot better and more alert when you have had sufficient rest. Excercise is also important and can help blow the cobwebs from the mind. Too much exercise leads to exhaustion.

Bored? Yeah, we all have those days. What you need is a constructive activity. How about a hobby? Exercise? Read some books? If you live near the ocean, try surfing (I’m not joking - it actually helped me).

Lonely? Hmm… You need friends. Try finding a weekly praise and worship group in any one of the Catholic parishes. Some of these are for young adults, and is a great opportunity for guys to find women.

I find what works best for me is to undertake a number of activities as well as seeing friends each week. This creates a distraction from the problem – you think less about the problem, and focus more on other things. Discipline is also important.

Another factor to consider is human biology. We still don’t know everything about ourselves. If we rule out porn, lust, etc., is masturbation a form of defacation - to rid the body of old and damaged sperm? No, I’m not trying to justify masturbation. I just feel more research is needed to learn more about what other factors are involved, such as fluctuating testosterone levels, or interactions with other hormones, etc.

You mentioned porn. That stuff is destructive. If you are addicted, you need to get professional help (and don’t feel embarrassed to do so!). I think another person posted a link for help. You need to know that such an addiction can be overcome. Yes, you can ask any priest for advice. The younger priests may be more likely to know of professionals or clinics that can provide help. Keep asking. I’ve got two friends who went through the same thing as you and they got help. One has the occasional setback, the other has completely gone away from it and he feels mostly peace in his mind – and he’s determined to not slip back. Yes, the addiction can be stopped.

For all us guys, masturbation won’t go away overnight. It can take months, even years. Do not dispair! Always have hope. Accept what has happened in the past, and most important, forgive yourself. Keep working at stopping the problem. Yes, you will stumble now and then. Pick yourself up, go to confession, and keep going to the finish line.

I hope I’ve been of some help.
 
does castration actually stop the need for masturbation…or will a person still get the urge for masturbation regardless of the surgery?
 
Hi knightbird111.

Castration did not help Origen. Don’t go there!!! Your body needs testosterone, and it is perfectly normal. I disagree with taking any medication to lower it. I speak as a biologist, but I am no doctor. If you think you have a problem, you should seek professional help, that is go see a doctor and be not afraid to seek advice. He can take blood samples and have the blood measured for hormone levels. If there is any abnormality, he will let you know. Otherwise, if you do not hear back, it means your hormone levels are perfectly fine. However, you can still call your doctor and ask for the results of the test. If your levels are normal, you rule out the hormone issue.

Do not rely on YouTube videos! - no matter how convincing they are. They are not the solution. Don’t give in to what could be phoney claims. My friends sought professional help in our city. One of them when to a professional therapist who is catholic and follows the Catholic doctrine. He was able to help my friend get off the porn within months. There are a few relapses, but he is pulling through. The other friend of mine had more of a problem with the masturbation and sex. He was also going through a mental health issue, but with the help of friends he went to doctors and received professional help from a mental health clinic (mood disorders, etc.). Through the whole process, he converted to Catholicism (it was entirely his decision), and went to confession. He continues to see an excellent priest who understands the Theology of the Body, and is rock solid on the Catholic church’s doctrine, and serves as a spiritual director. My friend has a number of things going through his mind, but is not afraid to ask questions to get to the truth and get clarification. I can see a big change in his attitude over the past couple years.

This same friend found the greatest healing by going to confession. Sin is like a poison, but Jesus is ready to forgive and forget. Confession gets rid of that enormous burden. When you speak with the priest during confession, just remember that Jesus is also right there. This is no joke. I remember the first time I went and it was very hard, but decided I had to get this sin out of me. And I continue to go back.

At dark times like what you are going through right now, it may seem that God is very distant. Read the parable of the Prodigal Son - Luke 15:11-32. See how the father lovingly welcomes back is son, despite what his son did? That’s the power of God’s love.
 
knightbird111 said:
Well I have come to find out that Jesus is real and I have one sin which I cannot overcome.
Now if I try hard to fight this sin I get major headaches and anxiety.

The Lord removed alot of lust from my mind, I used to fantasize all day with porn videos playing in my mind. I had a 1 year fight of cleansing my mind and now my mind is silent with none of these sinful videos playing.

Ultimately my problem is I cannot go for 3 days without falling into masturbation. It is as if Satan is aware I escaped his mental control and now he is making every effort to keep my soul dead. I pray and pray but no luck, maybe fasting…idk

I cannot even go for a good week or month. 2-3 days and the pressure in my head gets so great added with a 3 min lustful though and I just give in each time.

Why did God damn Man with masturbation? I seriously do not see any way of stopping unless cutting it off…any suggestions?
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Almost always, a major component of the mental dynamics of the sin of masturbating is worrying about “not masturbating.” You are “no-ing” yourself.

Are you certain that “no-ing” yourself re masturbation right now, in this thread, is not actually part of your habit.

Suppose you walked into a classroom full of men, sitting there, at desks, not apparently doing anything, and you asked, “What are you doing?” and they all gave the answer, “Oh, we are sitting here, trying to not masturbate.”

The answer to the habit is simple: A person with a masturbation habit is a person sitting alone in a dark corner, afraid of what is BEYOND the dark corner, sucking a lollipop. The LESSER sin is the lollipop you are distracting yourself with … masturbation.

The far, far, far, far larger sin is NOT getting off your tail, out of that dark corner, and teaching yourself the skill of having a sense of humor – the hardest thing you will ever do – and working, working, working, working, and giving, giving, giving, giving.

That is why that hypothetical, above, is funny – a room full of men just sitting there, thinking and worrying about not masturbating, is ridiculous.

Yet, that is what you are doing here and now, correct?

STOP worrying about “not masturbating,” get off your tail, and do what God put you here to do – make the world smile, work, work, work, work, work, and give, give, give, give, give.

When I posted this idea in the case of anothger habitual masturbator, here, one of the folks here said, “Hey! Good idea! He’ll be too tired to masturbate!”

Wrong! That would be a re-prioritization of masturbation by “no-ing” masturbation.

The true nature of the habitual sin of masturbation is that you AREN’T affirmatively DOING what God put you here to do. (THAT REALLY IS WHAT YOU SHOULD BE CONFESSING!)

Just keep joking, and working, and giving, harder and harder and harder and harder.

I promise you that the habit will vansh like raindrops on a hot sidewalk.
 
how come castration did not help Origen? that did not stop his sin to masturbation?
 
knightbird111 said:
how come castration did not help Origen? that did not stop his sin to masturbation?
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Nope, that did not stop Origin from sinning again. Castration is also grounds for excommunication.

Also, read Uzziah’s message above. I agree with what he’s saying. You need to stop worrying. I recently went through an anxiety disorder and got professional help through a cognative behaviour therapist, as well as a priest - the same one my friends had. The good news is that the anxiety can be overcome. Get out of the dark corner and into the light. Confession will remove the anxiety. It did for me and for my friends. Read Uzziah’s message.
 
I should also add that the Roman Catholic Church considers castration to be mutilation of the body and therefore a severe sin. There are also serious biological consequences, one being the onset of osteoporosis - a gradual bone density loss.

Please read Uzziah’s message above.
 
knightbird111 said:
Well I have come to find out that Jesus is real and I have one sin which I cannot overcome.
Now if I try hard to fight this sin I get major headaches and anxiety.

The Lord removed alot of lust from my mind, I used to fantasize all day with porn videos playing in my mind. I had a 1 year fight of cleansing my mind and now my mind is silent with none of these sinful videos playing.

Ultimately my problem is I cannot go for 3 days without falling into masturbation. It is as if Satan is aware I escaped his mental control and now he is making every effort to keep my soul dead. I pray and pray but no luck, maybe fasting…idk

I cannot even go for a good week or month. 2-3 days and the pressure in my head gets so great added with a 3 min lustful though and I just give in each time.

Why did God damn Man with masturbation? I seriously do not see any way of stopping unless cutting it off…any suggestions?
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Now there are lots of suggestions to do, but there is one thing that must be done.

Pray. Pray. Pray.

How badly do you really want to stop? This translates into what price are you willing to pay? How much will you really do? Wishing won’t do it. Something won’t do it. Talking about it won’t do it. Therefore if you really want it, then you must sacrifice for it, put it out, do what you don’t want to do, and do what it takes to get it done.

Pray, Pray. Pray.

How much are you willing to pray a day? 1 hour? 2 hours? more?

Try 3 rosaries a day for starters. Make the time. And think on the mysteries.

After this becomes managable, add a divine mercy chaplet.

Once this becomes routine. Read the bible every day. And pray about what you read.

What will this accomplish? Grace, grace, grace.

What will this accomplish? Overriding the memory with the passion and blood of Jesus

What will this accomplish? Driving out and preventing other images and thoughts.

What will this accomplish? Not much time to think about anything except holy things.

The question is, how much do you REALLY want this?

The answer is - the size of your committment.

Sin can only be broken by grace. Gods intervention.

“Will a father give a stone to his son when he asks for a loaf of bread?”
 
One more thing I would like to add for more grace to rain down upon you.

The Miraculous Medal.

Mary promised in her own words that those who wore her blessed medal, she would give
ABUNDANT and GREAT graces on one condition. They must trust her to live up to her promise.
This means that it will come about. For example, Mary herself did not doubt for one instant that what the angel Gabriel said would come true. That’s the kind of trust Mary is talking about.

Having a problem? Just grab the medal your wearing by holding it in your hand and just say something like, “Mary, I’m doing what you asked me to do. Now I trust that you will carry out your promise to deliver that GREAT grace I need right now please.” “Ps, thank you and I love you.”

Your won’t be disappointed.
 
I find in Catholicism much about people going to Mary for help but I thought the one to go to is Jesus. Wasn’t Mary just a disciple of Jesus? Therefore Jesus prayed to the Father. Since Jesus passed the test, those currently here on Earth are to seek Jesus. As for Mary, she has the same status as Peter I am guessing?

Is it that in Catholicism the apostles are also worshipped as Jesus or is it just Mary?

Plus which Mary, Mary Magdelene or ? because I think there were two Marys

I say this because if one worships Mary then wouldn’t this be a form of idol worshipping?
I am just not understanding why people seek Mary or pray to Mary. I thought it was basically you pray to Jesus and Jesus is one with God the Father. In order to speak to God, one must pray to Jesus.

Praying to Mary, I assume is like praying to Peter or Mark or Luke etc…

Being that our culture stresses that men and women are equal, did Catholicism give Mary equal status as Jesus, or even higher status than Jesus…I say this because I went to a Catholic church and spoke with a woman. I gave her testimony and told her to seek Jesus and she told me, oh no, not Jesus …you must pray to Mary. Mary is the one you are supposed to seek. Is this how most Catholics are thinking?
 
Knightbird,
from the words and expressions you use, you don’t sound catholic tho you identify yourself as catholic. For instance “I gave her testimony” is not the way the ordinary priest or cathoic would put it. Or “did Catholicism give Mary equal status as Jesus, or even higher status than Jesus…” would be very strange since a catholic would never place Mary higher than God.

It may be that your understanding of the faith is a bit spotty. So maybe I can help clearify some ideas.

Why we pray to Mary is the same reason why we pray to St. Francis or to St. Jude, or to St. Peter, or to St. Patrick, or to St. Nicholas, or Blessed mother Teresa or to any other saint.

However we pray to Mary for an additional reason.

Mary has the only distinction of being the Mother of God, that is, she carried in her womb for 9 months, the second divine person of the blessed Trinity. She is truely the real Ark of the Covenant, the new new ark of the covenant, Jesus. I cannot think of any other person or angel that ever existed that could come close to that of being the very mother of Jesus, who is God, and rasing him in Nazareth with TLC. That is awesome. It boggles my mind to think about just the fact of being appointed to motherhood of God.

So being in that relationship with God, she is above everyone and in a position of closeness that noone else has. The greatest saints of the church, while still on earth, acknowledged her as above all other individuals, because of her role as the chosen one of God, his mother.
But of course she remains a creature as do all of the other saints.

Some christians seem to have a reluctance to receive the words of Jesus on the cross as true.
He said to St. John, that Mary was to be John’s mother, and that John was to be her son.
This has been interpreted by many “greats” as referring to all of us, not just to St. John.
She was given to be our very own spiritual Mother which puts her in another role of looking after all of her children. And that is what she does. And so when we ask of Mary, we are asking by right of being her child, to help us in our moments of need. That is a special relationship we do not have with anyone else in heaven… her motherhood. So being our mother, and being the mother of God, gives her a pronounced unique right of interceding for all her sons/daughter with her own divine son. A position and role given to noone but Mary. And it was given to her by her own son Jesus. It was his very own personal wish.

It is difficult for some cathoics to get this because they were not sufficently instructed in the catholic faith, and then later in life, this is presented to them as something they were unaware of and in some respect, is new. And so they have to struggle with it. But it seems once they do accept it, they are greatful for the strength and warmth it brings to their spiritual life.

For others who find the catholic faith, it can be difficult to accept something new and something that was sometimes put down. It takes time for the emotions to cool, and the intellect to see. But again, once accepted, Mary is truely appreciated for her concern and love for them. And they become some of her most devoted sons/daughters of all.

Just a few hopeful thoughts for you as well.
 
knightbird111 said:
I find in Catholicism much about people going to Mary for help but I thought the one to go to is Jesus. Wasn’t Mary just a disciple of Jesus? Therefore Jesus prayed to the Father. Since Jesus passed the test, those currently here on Earth are to seek Jesus. As for Mary, she has the same status as Peter I am guessing?

Is it that in Catholicism the apostles are also worshipped as Jesus or is it just Mary?

… Is this how most Catholics are thinking?
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knightbird111,

Fred Conty makes a valid point. Here’s what the Catechism of the Catholic Church says about intercession:

2634 - Intercession is a prayer of petition which leads us to pray as Jesus did. He is the one intercessor with the Father on behalf of all men, especially sinners. He is “able for all time to save those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them.” The Holy Spirit “himself intercedes for us . . . and intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.”

2635 - Since Abraham, intercession - asking on behalf of another has been characteristic of a heart attuned to God’s mercy. In the age of the Church, Christian intercession participates in Christ’s, as an expression of the communion of saints. In intercession, he who prays looks “not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others,” even to the point of praying for those who do him harm.

956 - The intercession of the saints. “Being more closely united to Christ, those who dwell in heaven fix the whole Church more firmly in holiness… They do not cease to intercede with the Father for us, as they proffer the merits which they acquired on earth through the one mediator between God and men, Christ Jesus… So by their fraternal concern is our weakness greatly helped.” (see 1 Tim 2:5)

Do not weep, for I shall be more useful to you after my death and I shall help you then more effectively than during my life. – St. Dominic, dying, to his brothers

I want to spend my heaven in doing good on earth. – St. Therese of Lisieux, the Final Conversations

I hope this offers more clarification.
 
I was a protestant for years and didn’t realize it was a sin.
After joining the Catholic church and some catechizing, I realized it was . . .and had always felt bad about it. (it can be a problem for women too).
The things that helped me stop, years ago, were 2: I went to confession every week, and got really really embarrassed to confess this.
2nd, I realized that we are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses – so picture this, you are in a vast space surrounded by all the saints in light, angels and archangels, and they can see what we are all doing, every moment, although we can’t see them.
Now they are full of love and mercy, like Christ, but I really can’t bring myself to commit any serious sin in front of all those people.

Praying for you.
 
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