Masturbation in Marriage

[ZJackson]

If one commits the sin of masturbation and is married, is it considered adultery? Should they confess masturbation or adultery during the sacrament of reconciliation?

 

[Jim91]

Hey, I guess it depends if you were thinking about other women whilst masturbating then you should confess to both or simply when you confess about the masturbation also include the part about thinking of other women I guess?

To avoid this in the future you should discuss to your wife about this only if you feel comfortable about it. She can help you with this a lot, trust me, if she is a good wife she’ll listen to you and help you with it. Discuss the problem and see what you can do to solve it. It’s much easier to solve these problems when someone helps you with this kinds of things especially someone very close to you.

If I’m wrong feel free to correct me.

 

[SuperLuigi]

If one commits the sin of masturbation and is married, is it considered adultery? Should they confess masturbation or adultery during the sacrament of reconciliation?

If committed outside of proper intercourse (where the man must finish inside the woman), yes it does need to be confessed in kind and number.

 

[Bookcat]

If one commits the sin of masturbation and is married, is it considered adultery? Should they confess masturbation or adultery during the sacrament of reconciliation?

One can say that it is yes in a real sense…but one would not use that term in confessing it normally for such would lead the Priest to think you meant other than what you do.

He though does need to know that one is married (that is certainly part of the sin) - and such is mentioned in the beginning regarding your state in life…

 

[BiffRuffle]

If one commits the sin of masturbation and is married, is it considered adultery? Should they confess masturbation or adultery during the sacrament of reconciliation?

To the first question, yes. Even if you’re thinking about your wife, it’s still lusting after your wife, which, as John Paul II said, is committing adultery in the heart. As for the second question, you could confess that you were “impure with yourself.”

 

[Jon_S_1]

If one commits the sin of masturbation and is married, is it considered adultery? Should they confess masturbation or adultery during the sacrament of reconciliation?

Don’t get lost in the details. Confess what you did and be at peace. I would not use the word adultery because the priest will think another women was directly involved. Confess the masturbation and if lust for a woman was involved confess that too. Leave it at that.

 

[gambling88]

The Cathecism tells you the seriousness of the sin.

 

[fbl9]

One can say that it is yes in a real sense…but one would not use that term in confessing it normally for such would lead the Priest to think you meant other than what you do.

He though does need to know that one is married (that is certainly part of the sin) - and such is mentioned in the beginning regarding your state in life…

I agree that it is adultery as well. When confessing this type of sin I would say I committed the sin of adultery through mastrubation, including whom I was thinking of during the act.

 

[Vico]

If one commits the sin of masturbation and is married, is it considered adultery? Should they confess masturbation or adultery during the sacrament of reconciliation?

Generally, for purity, the sixth commandment is actions and ninth commandment is thoughts. According to the St. Thomas Aquinas classifications, masturbation is of the species of unnatural vice. Those are:

natural:

• fornication
• incest
• seduction
• adultery
• rape
  unnatural:
• unnatural vice (beastiality, sodomy, use of condom, masturbation, improper intercourse, etc.)

 

[Jaguar]

Don’t get lost in the details. Confess what you did and be at peace. I would not use the word adultery because the priest will think another women was directly involved. Confess the masturbation and if lust for a woman was involved confess that too. Leave it at that.

Agreed! However, wouldn’t masturbation always include lust for a woman? I would think that they go together, whether one is thinking of his wife or anyone else. Regardless, work on strengthening your marriage.

Whether or not you should mention this sin to your wife … it is up to you, but don’t necessarily think that because you may have a great wife, that she will be totally understanding and helpful. She might be devastated. Anyway, you probably know best in your situation.

 

[OraLabora]

Agreed! However, wouldn’t masturbation always include lust for a woman?

No.

It could, for instance, involve a fetish that doesn’t involve people. It could involve fantasizing about one’s own spouse.

It is, emphatically, NOT adultery. It is an offense against chastity.

The CCC is precise in its language:

2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action."137 “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."138
To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety, or other psychological or social factors that lessen or even extenuate moral culpability.

2380 Adultery refers to marital infidelity. When two partners, of whom at least one is married to another party, have sexual relations - even transient ones - they commit adultery. Christ condemns even adultery of mere desire.170 The sixth commandment and the New Testament forbid adultery absolutely.171 The prophets denounce the gravity of adultery; they see it as an image of the sin of idolatry.172

(my bold)

Masturbation could however, involve adultery of desire if one is fantasizing about another person. The “adultery” though, would be the desire of another partner, not the actual act. That desire does not necessarily have to involve masturbation, and masturbation does not necessarily involve desire for a partner other than one’s spouse. So they are two distinct sins.

 

[smichhertz]

If one commits the sin of masturbation and is married, is it considered adultery? Should they confess masturbation or adultery during the sacrament of reconciliation?

Hi ZJackson,

In confession they should state “I masturbated” or “I was impure with myself”. It’s usually helpful for the priest to say whether or not you’re married and approximately how old you are at the beginning of every confession, but that’s not required (the priest can ask, though).

If a man just stated “I committed adultery” the priest is likely to think it’s something else, which would be misleading. Theologically speaking, one could argue that it is adultery, but that would include ALL impure acts EVEN if a man wasn’t even married! So although it could be considered adultery, that’s too vague and general for the priest to discern what is going on.

Just so it’s clearly stated on this thread - masturbation is gravely sinful and a moral sin if done with knowledge and full consent. It doesn’t matter if someone is married or not.

Bottom line - the peace and mercy of God is greater than any sin. Any man who finds himself struggling with masturbation should know that he is not alone and that God loves him. With a earnest desire to defeat it, smart decisions and good practical steps, any man can beat this sin by the grace of God. At times it may seem like a mountain, but it’s actually very easy once one learns to trust in God.

Hope that helps!

 

[OraLabora]

HTheologically speaking, one could argue that it is adultery, but that would include ALL impure acts EVEN if a man wasn’t even married! !

Actually the Church defines adultery as sexual relations between two unmarried persons of which at least one or both are married to someone else.

2380 Adultery refers to marital infidelity. When two partners,of whom at least one is married to another party, have sexual relations - even transient ones - they commit adultery. Christ condemns even adultery of mere desire.170 The sixth commandment and the New Testament forbid adultery absolutely.171 The prophets denounce the gravity of adultery; they see it as an image of the sin of idolatry.172

When two unmarried persons have sexual relations, it is not adultery, it is fornication:

2353 Fornication is carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman. It is gravely contrary to the dignity of persons and of human sexuality which is naturally ordered to the good of spouses and the generation and education of children. Moreover, it is a grave scandal when there is corruption of the young.

Finally, masturbation is neither. It is an offense against chastity, but does not imply fornication or adultery (at least solo masturbation).

I do think it’s important to be straight and clear with the priest. In addition to giving absolution, a good priest may also want to give pastoral advice especially if the penitent is asking for help to extract him or herself out of a habitual or difficult situation.

 

[Jaguar]

Actually the Church defines adultery as sexual relations between two unmarried persons of which at least one or both are married to someone else.

This makes no sense. I mention this, not to confuse anyone.

 

[OraLabora]

This makes no sense. I mention this, not to confuse anyone.

Sorry, to be more clear, the Church defines adultery as sex between two persons not married to each other, but at least one is married to someone else. It could be a married woman having sex with an unmarried man, a married man having sex with an unmarried woman, or two married people, but not to each other, having sex.

Fornication is sex between two unmarried people, and neither is married to anyone else.

 

[Vico]

Sorry, to be more clear, the Church defines adultery as sex between two persons not married to each other, but at least one is married to someone else. It could be a married woman having sex with an unmarried man, a married man having sex with an unmarried woman, or two married people, but not to each other, having sex.

Fornication is sex between two unmarried people, and neither is married to anyone else.

Catechism teaches that adultery as used in the sixth commandment has a more general meaning, however the ninth is more about thoughts.
2336 Jesus came to restore creation to the purity of its origins. In the Sermon on the Mount, he interprets God’s plan strictly: "You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."123 What God has joined together, let not man put asunder.124
The tradition of the Church has understood the sixth commandment as encompassing the whole of human sexuality.

THE NINTH COMMANDMENT

You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his manservant, or his maidservant, or his ox, or his ***, or anything that is your neighbor’s.299 Every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.300
2514 St. John distinguishes three kinds of covetousness or concupiscence: lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, and pride of life.301 In the Catholic catechetical tradition, the ninth commandment forbids carnal concupiscence; the tenth forbids coveting another’s goods.

 

[OraLabora]

Catechism teaches that adultery as used in the sixth commandment has a more general meaning, however the ninth is more about thoughts.
2336 Jesus came to restore creation to the purity of its origins. In the Sermon on the Mount, he interprets God’s plan strictly: "You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."123 What God has joined together, let not man put asunder.124
The tradition of the Church has understood the sixth commandment as encompassing the whole of human sexuality.

THE NINTH COMMANDMENT

You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his manservant, or his maidservant, or his ox, or his ***, or anything that is your neighbor’s.299 Every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.300
2514 St. John distinguishes three kinds of covetousness or concupiscence: lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, and pride of life.301 In the Catholic catechetical tradition, the ninth commandment forbids carnal concupiscence; the tenth forbids coveting another’s goods.

I was quoting from this which appears to cover both acts and thoughts (from the Sixth Commandment):

380 Adultery refers to marital infidelity. When two partners, of whom at least one is married to another party, have sexual relations - even transient ones - they commit adultery. **Christ condemns even adultery of mere desire.**170 The sixth commandment and the New Testament forbid adultery absolutely.171 The prophets denounce the gravity of adultery; they see it as an image of the sin of idolatry.172

 

[Scottgun]

Thankfully, proper material for confession is specific acts rather than pedantic overanalysis. So while they may certainly be adulterous elements in one’s masturbatory fantasies, one need only confess to masturbation. If the priest needs more information, he’ll ask for it. It’s not like he hasn’t heard it before.

 

[Vico]

I was quoting from this which appears to cover both acts and thoughts (from the Sixth Commandment):

There certainly is overlap. I prefer the clarity of the Baltimore Catechism No. 3 on this:
Q. 1324. In what does the sixth commandment differ from the ninth, and the seventh differ from the tenth?
A. The sixth commandment differs from the ninth in this, that the sixth refers chiefly to external acts of impurity, while the ninth refers more to sins of thought against purity. The seventh commandment refers chiefly to external acts of dishonesty, while the tenth refers more to thoughts against honesty.

 

[fpt]

Before all, we have to know **the good acception of the definition of sin of masturbation. What are the constitutive elements? **The material elements and the immaterial elements (intentions)? Context? What? Who? Why? What for? When? How? On where? On what? By who? On who?