Masturbation in Marriage

[Verchiel]

This is interesting to me as this is something I know very little to nothing about from the Catholic perspective. I’m a married man of 35 years, what of mutual masturbation between a man and wife? Simply used as a stimulation to engage is sex, or even finish in this manner for fun between and man and wife? What about sodomy? Can it be sinful to have anal sex with your own wife? I though our bodies belonged to one another after marriage and we could engage in what ever type sexual act we wanted as long as both parties are consenting? In that case what about oral sex? is that considered sinful if the man finishes in his wife’s mouth? It cant make babies but many couples find this enjoyable in the bonds of marriage. Sorry I’m asking such frank questions but I would really like to know about this stuff from the Catholic perspective as I am in the process of joining the local church.

 

[Vico]

This is interesting to me as this is something I know very little to nothing about from the Catholic perspective. I’m a married man of 35 years, what of mutual masturbation between a man and wife? Simply used as a stimulation to engage is sex, or even finish in this manner for fun between and man and wife? What about sodomy? Can it be sinful to have anal sex with your own wife? I though our bodies belonged to one another after marriage and we could engage in what ever type sexual act we wanted as long as both parties are consenting? In that case what about oral sex? is that considered sinful if the man finishes in his wife’s mouth? It cant make babies but many couples find this enjoyable in the bonds of marriage. Sorry I’m asking such frank questions but I would really like to know about this stuff from the Catholic perspective as I am in the process of joining the local church.

Pope Pius XII wrote:Human dignity in the conjugal act

 This explanation of Ours on the functions of your professional apostolate would be     incomplete, if We did not add further a few more words about the defense of human dignity     in the use of the procreative faculty.

 The same Creator, Who in His bounty and wisdom willed to make use of the work of man     and woman, by uniting them in matrimony, for the preservation and propagation of the human     race, has also decreed that in this function the parties should experience pleasure and     happiness of body and spirit. Husband and wife, therefore, by seeking and enjoying this     pleasure do no wrong whatever. They accept what the Creator has destined for them.

 Nevertheless, here also, husband and wife must know how to keep themselves within the     limits of a just moderation. As with the pleasure of food and drink so with the sexual     they must not abandon themselves without restraint to the impulses of the senses. The     right rule is this: the use of the natural procreative disposition is morally lawful in     matrimony only, in the service of and in accordance with the ends of marriage itself.     Hence it follows that only in marriage with the observing of this rule is the desire and     fruition of this pleasure and of this satisfaction lawful. For the pleasure is subordinate     to the law of the action whence it derives, and not vice versa—the action to the law     of pleasure. And this law, so very reasonable, concerns not only the substance but also     the circumstances of the action, so that, even when the substance of the act remains     morally safe, it is possible to sin in the way it is performed.

ewtn.com/library/PAPALDOC/P511029.HTM

 

[Burdock]

We are sexual beings, what happens if a husband or wife cannnot have sexual intercourse temporarily through illness or disability, sexual desires dontcj u st dissappear, in a marriage and if its consensual I cant see that it is wrong.what 2 people do in c the bedroom if its consensual is noone elses business, the church goes too far with these matters.

 

[Vico]

We are sexual beings, what happens if a husband or wife cannnot have sexual intercourse temporarily through illness or disability, sexual desires dontcj u st dissappear, in a marriage and if its consensual I cant see that it is wrong.what 2 people do in c the bedroom if its consensual is noone elses business, the church goes too far with these matters.

It is the business of each of the spouses that they be free from sin. What is sinful is not based upon the individual or on the agreement of the spouses.

Since the faithful are members of the Church of Christ, their state of grace is significant to the community as a whole.

 

[Zapfenstreich]

This is interesting to me as this is something I know very little to nothing about from the Catholic perspective. I’m a married man of 35 years, what of mutual masturbation between a man and wife? Simply used as a stimulation to engage is sex, or even finish in this manner for fun between and man and wife? What about sodomy? Can it be sinful to have anal sex with your own wife? I though our bodies belonged to one another after marriage and we could engage in what ever type sexual act we wanted as long as both parties are consenting? In that case what about oral sex? is that considered sinful if the man finishes in his wife’s mouth? It cant make babies but many couples find this enjoyable in the bonds of marriage. Sorry I’m asking such frank questions but I would really like to know about this stuff from the Catholic perspective as I am in the process of joining the local church.

Being a revert, I’m familiar with those questions, having asked them myself. My understanding goes like this…

Basically, everything sexual is sinful to a greater or lesser degree with the exception of married non-contracepting hetero vaginal sex with ejaculation only inside the vagina, so long as it’s not excessively lustful.

Yeah, that sounds harsh, but I believe that it’s also true. Please correct me if I’ve got it wrong.

 

[Thinking10]

Yeah, that sounds harsh, but I believe that it’s also true. Please correct me if I’ve got it wrong.

I don’t think you are wrong. St. Paul says in Corinthians that is better to have sex with your spouse than to abstain and burn with passion. The church says that it is good to abstain and burn with passion. St. Paul’s advice seems more logical than the opinion that even within marriage, a couple must abstain unless trying to conceive.

 

[Vico]

I don’t think you are wrong. St. Paul says in Corinthians that is better to have sex with your spouse than to abstain and burn with passion. The church says that it is good to abstain and burn with passion. St. Paul’s advice seems more logical than the opinion that even within marriage, a couple must abstain unless trying to conceive.

Actually, St. Paul says to the unmarried and widows that if they do not contain, it is better to marry than burn, otherwise remain unmarried.