Masturbation is killing me

[ReachingFaith]

Masturbation is extremely isolating and degrading.

How so?

 

[Aloysium]

Wow. My head… A sex addict and an adult who masturbates to complement or substitute for a healthy sexual relationship…where is the crossing of definitions here! And if you’ll notice, why is it anyone else’s business what you do down there? This whole topic is something personal and private, and should remain that way. But since it’s a moral issue what one does with the private parts, let me just say that I’d estimate about 80% of all people masturbate or have masturbated at some point in their lives. You can deny that you have, but are we then to assume that everyone who has done this is somehow mentally and physically unhealthy? Masturbation can relieve stress and pain, especially in the case of women with severe menstrual cramps. Is that not healthy? Correct me, please, but respectfully.

This discussion is derailing the OP.

Masturbation can be an expression of the serious psychopathology which feeds it. As such it is like an open wound in which sin can take hold and destroy the person.
Common in this, as other forms of addiction is that whole essential goodness of the person is fractured into “good” (where the person feels “bad”, having intense guilt) and “bad” (lustfully, selfishly and even cruelly, feeling “good”) selves. The knowledge of having worth and of being loved has been destroyed through the person’s interactions in the world, leaving the person broken and lost, looking at illusions, at lies to fill the void that only grows deeper.

This thread was started with the intent of helping the OP and other ppl in such situations. And there are various organizations and God Himself who can help them.

Not so much to justify ppl who want to use the temple of God as an amusement park.

 

[OxygenMan]

How so?

It seems that many people use pornography as a stimulus to masturbate now. This can be very dangerous. Not only does it begin to build up the image of the subject being entirely sexual in nature, it constantly reinforces that image. There is no relationship, and no desire to form a relationship, with the subject. Training our minds to view certain groups of people as sexual beings debases those people. Those people are more than that and they deserve better. It also debases the person committing masturbation by reinforcing the idea that such debasement of others is acceptable, making them more callous.

Sexual pleasure, with this constant reinforcement, can be highly addictive. Like other forms of addiction, the addict may seek more intense stimulation. This can lead to very depraved or immoral, or downright dangerous, things. What comes to mind is 4chan and its boards of pedophiliac and bestial pornography.

Even if one does not use pornography, it is very dangerous to the mind and soul to become so focused on a physical pleasure. To reinforce such behavior will lead to your mind and body to expect it. It will make it difficult to live without it. Living with that kind of excess doesn’t lead to health. Masturbation is a sexual excess, just as gluttony is an excess of food. Living with any kind of severe physical attachment can interfere with contemplation and a compassionate life. Masturbation “cheapens” the sexual act to the point that one doesn’t realize its existential importance.

 

[OxygenMan]

This discussion is derailing the OP.

Masturbation can be an expression of the serious psychopathology which feeds it. As such it is like an open wound in which sin can take hold and destroy the person.
Common in this, as other forms of addiction is that whole essential goodness of the person is fractured into “good” (where the person feels “bad”, having intense guilt) and “bad” (lustfully, selfishly and even cruelly, feeling “good”) selves. The knowledge of having worth and of being loved has been destroyed through the person’s interactions in the world, leaving the person broken and lost, looking at illusions, at lies to fill the void that only grows deeper.

This thread was started with the intent of helping the OP and other ppl in such situations. And there are various organizations and God Himself who can help them.

Not so much to justify ppl who want to use the temple of God as an amusement park.

Sorry, I didn’t see the OP. I’ll make sure to read it first next time to make sure I’m not going off topic.

 

[randybako]

Masturbation can be an act to punish oneself or to free oneself or both. For example, if a young boy felt rage at one of his parents for emasculating him, he then has to deal with those feelings and that is hard when the target of your bad feelings is a parent. A child is ill equiped to know what to do with complex feelings,espcially ones involving hatred toward a parent, so he ends up storing them in the Wrong Place. These misplaced feelings, then haunt the man. A male may then continue to masturbate frequently as a way to to punish himself for feeling so terrbile toward one of his parents. Masturbation then becomes liberating. It gives one a momentary release from the pain of the guilt.It then becomes a habit. Sometimes it takes a nervous breakdown or a good therapist to stop this bad habit. I think once this negative behavior is established, the body craves the physiologcial process and it then seems like every tissue, muscle and cell in the body craves this thing called an organism and it refuses to stop. Kind of like a drug!

 

[Sister_Terese]

For lent I decided to give up masturbation. I wanted to give it up for lent, but I found myself breaking my promise every week. I made sure I broke it on Sunday though. I am aware that it is a gravely disordered act, and I want so badly to be done with it for good, but it seems like I tend to give in to this sin every 7 or 14 days. It’s awful, and I end up becoming incredibly guilty and depressed after committing it. It becomes hard for me to pray, because I feel like I’m not worthy of God. I’m a horrible sinner, and I hate it.

I would think this discussion would be better served if done with your confessor or another orthodox priest rather than on an online website.

 

[Sister_Terese]

You make sure you do it on Sundays?

What?

Hehehe! My thoughts, too!

 

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[randybako]

Masturbation can be an act to punish oneself or to free oneself or both. For example, if a young boy felt rage at one of his parents for emasculating him, a boy will be unforgivig to himself for having such hateful feelings toward a parent. A child is ill equiped to know what to do with complex feelings,espcially ones involving hatred toward a parent, so he ends up storing them in the Wrong Place in the mind. These misplaced feelings, then haunt the man by going into the subconscious. In order to cope, a male may then continue to masturbate frequently;maturbation being the vehicle in which to punish himself for feeling so terrbile toward one of his parents. Masturbation then becomes liberating. It gives one a momentary release from the pain of the guilt.It then becomes a habit. Sometimes it takes a nervous breakdown or a good therapist to stop this bad habit. I think once this negative behavior is established, the body craves the physiologcial process and it then seems like every tissue, muscle and cell in the body craves this thing called an organism and it refuses to stop. Kind of like a drug!

 

[teachccd]

I would think this discussion would be better served if done with your confessor or another orthodox priest rather than on an online website.

I totally agree. Many times people are made to feel worse about themselves simply because the folks on this forum cannot know all of the circumstances in the OP’s life that contribute to his addiction. This is a great place to share Church teachings and to give support to those who need it but it is not the place to discern the state of one’s soul. Yes, masturbation is one of the many sexual sins that goes against the will of God. But, we can never be expected to reach into an individual’s heart and know the many factors that lead one to any sin. That is truly left up to the individual and his or her confessor. I avail myself to the sacrament of reconciliation regularly and would never come here for those very personal struggles that I deal with on a daily basis. Why? Because no one can know all of the details and can mistakenly lead me into despair. Even moving from confessor to confessor can cause this as I have found out.

God knows the very core of who we are. Yes, there are potential sins that could be mortal should all of the conditions be met but there is no one here that can discern the state of one’s soul. Even the Catechism of the Catholic Church states that there are situations when sins are mitigated because of certain situations. So, I would strongly recommend that the OP finds a good confessor and sees him regularly. We are not all damned to hell because we have acquired sinful habits and he needs to know this. God is love and we need to remember that He will find anything to see us worthy of eternal life. Mortal sin is a complete rejection of God with no repentance.

Anyway, that is my two cents but I honestly think it is worth a bit more than that. God bless…teachccd