Masturbation-Need Help

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littleflower_24

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I have been trying to battle this for a long time, but I haven’t been able to stop. I am a sophomore in college, and started masturbation in seventh grade, not knowing it was bad until 8th. It started with curiosity…and now I have been a slave to this addiction for seven years.

I have a boyfriend of one year, and he has tried to help me, to be a accountability partner when he found out. He had addictions with pornography, and with masturbation too. He has stayed pure since summer. Although we each have these addictions, we found out after we started dating, and as Catholics we have tried to overcome it together and with God. We want to lead each other to Heaven, so even with this we have stayed pure with each other (except some thoughts of lust). We want to be a strong Catholic couple, who would put all of this aside for the sake of Heaven, the other person, and getting them to Heaven.

Yet I am failing him and God, falling to this temptation again and again. I want to be holy, but every time I say I won’t do it again-I fail. In high school, God helped me through depression, and I am only hurting Him with this. When temptation comes, I fall badly to it, feeling more entwined in thoughts until I give in. Scenarios come of people taking advantage of me, or of me being put in an immoral working situation. I want to pray the rosary every day, but I get too busy, or too tired-something always gets in the way. I try to tell myself I’m Mary’s daughter through the cross, so she will help me. Yet I keep giving in.

I ask you to please help me, please help me overcome this. I know nothing will be a quick fix, but I know your prayers and advice can help me. Thank you.
 
Littleflower,
I’ll be praying for you. There is a couple of groups here at CAF that deal with these sins. The Impurity Addiction Support Group is one to check out. You’ll have to use group search as I don’t have the link. You may check with your parish priest also. Many parishes have counselors you can talk to.

:signofcross:
Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.
:signofcross:
 
I found a prayer (I’m trying to learn the Latin version - there is just something about prayers in Latin that make them much fuller than their English counterparts IMO) that is called “Libera me,” which I think may help:

(English)
Deliver me, Lord Jesus Christ, from all my iniquities and from every evil, make me hold ever fast to Thy commandments and never allow me to be separated from Thee. Amen.

(Latin)
Libera me, Domine, Iesu Christe, ab omnibus iniquitatis meis et universis malis, fac me tuis semper inhaerere mandatis et a te numquam separari permittas. Amen.

A priest once told me that whenever I feel tempted to sin, pray a Hail Mary. A Maryknoll priest who visited once told me that another way I could avoid temptation is to say, with conviction, “In the Name of Jesus Christ, I demand you, spirit of ______ to leave me!” I’m not certain how legitimate that is. He did say that it doesn’t work unless you truly mean it. (Are personal exorcism prayers legal? I hope so, because I tried it once and it seemed to work.)

Perhaps you could also pray the Guardian Angel prayer each morning? (I won’t place the Latin again, although I want to). I’m trying to find things that helped me. OH! Go here, if you have a free 15 minutes in the morning and evening: universalis.com/USA/-500/Library/index.htm. If all else fails, go to the Church’s liturgy!
When temptation comes, I fall badly to it, feeling more entwined in thoughts until I give in
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This particularly struck me, as it is a near perfect reflection of my own experience. I have learned: do not fight temptation - run from it! You will fall every single time if you try to fight it, ESPECIALLY with a sin like masturbation. Run from it. I canNOT stress this more. Every time I try to fight my own problem - I fail. When I run from it, I remain clean. Yet I still stubbornly try to fight.
I want to pray the rosary every day, but I get too busy, or too tired-something always gets in the way.
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I don’t mean to sound rude, but this is the same exact excuse I use. Look at your schedule or day again. There is somewhere that you can fit our Lord - if not, make it so. Remember, prayer is not about you telling God - God already knows. Its about listening. When someone says (myself included) that we are too busy for prayer, that generally means we are bad at listening to God. Remember also, the road to the beatific vision we all long for is hard. I know. I am learning and will continue to learn this. The Rosary is not about saying 150 Hail Mary’s. Its about reflecting on the lives of Jesus and Mary. It is about providing a rhythm to help focus your mind so that you can hear the faintest of whispers that is always there: Follow Me. I commend you on your struggle - I think you might be doing better than I, but I’ve been told I’m a bit scrupulous.

Remember: Even Christ was tempted by the enemy. Even Christ fell three times on the road to Calvary. This has a significant meaning: to live the will of God means even the best, highest, and purest of humanity will falter.

Remember again: (I bring him up frequently, partly because its appropriate, partly because he’s my patron saint) St. Augustine was one of the world’s worst sinners - sinning in a manner like you and I - but he became one of the greatest saints of the Church, the Doctor of Grace.
 
Thank you James and Hayden. I am apart of the support group-but I have not posted yet.

Hayden, I’m confused by this, yet I think I heard it before from someone/something else:
ZDHayden said:
I have learned: do not fight temptation - run from it! You will fall every single time if you try to fight it, ESPECIALLY with a sin like masturbation. Run from it. I can NOT stress this more. Every time I try to fight my own problem - I fail. When I run from it, I remain clean. Yet I still stubbornly try to fight.
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Why is this not good to fight? I know that trying to fight on my own is bad-I’m supposed to do this with God and when I try alone I fail. But with God, why should I not fight? What do mean by it-who/what did you run to? If you mean physically as well, do you have any experience with overcome places of habit that you still have to frequent? Because when my room is a temptation yet I have to sleep there…I can’t always avoid it though I try to do my best.

I am going to confession this morning, please continue praying because I know the battle won’t end there.
 
littleflower_24 said:
Thank you James and Hayden. I am apart of the support group-but I have not posted yet.

Hayden, I’m confused by this, yet I think I heard it before from someone/something else:

Why is this not good to fight? I know that trying to fight on my own is bad-I’m supposed to do this with God and when I try alone I fail. But with God, why should I not fight? What do mean by it-who/what did you run to? If you mean physically as well, do you have any experience with overcome places of habit that you still have to frequent? Because when my room is a temptation yet I have to sleep there…I can’t always avoid it though I try to do my best.

I am going to confession this morning, please continue praying because I know the battle won’t end there.
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I run to the confessional weekly, even if I have not committed a habitual sin. We are weak. We cannot fight alone or we will fall, you got that right. But how are you with God but with the sacraments and prayer? How do you come to the sacraments and prayer but to flee from sin? Prayer is a sword, the sacraments our shield. Run to them.

If your room is a place of temptation, get an image of our Lady or Christ. Have a crucifix nearby, always in sight. Make your room into a shrine. Believe me, it helps. We have icons for a reason: to lead us to God.
 
Hayden, I know myself enough to know that I will be fine for a week-even two, until temptation really hits. And when it does, all of those thoughts-how can I stand? My thoughts aren’t looking toward God then…and I struggle until I give in.
You said you had the same thing happen to you, like feeling trapped in it-what did you do at times like that to stop yourself? Because I’ve gone to Adoration before, to my boyfriend, to workout, and in my mind it’s like I’ve already given in. When those temptations come I just keep thinking about it until I fall. What can I do?
 
I have the same problem and am still struggling with my own demons. A good book to find is “The Interior Castle” by St. Teresa of Avila. She talks about the different steps one undertakes towards there total union with God. I have found that prayer and studing seems to work with me. I read the Catechism or get lost in the bible and before you know it I have left my desires. Jesus tells us to get rid of that which makes us sin. If you look at another woman with lust than to cast out your eye. If you steal something than your hand but I believe he’s just telling us to get rid of those things which cause us to sin, for example, a dirty magazine. You could have your significant other lock parental settings on the internet and not give you the password. An earlier post talks about the stations of the cross, that is a real good practice to start meditating on which covers all of our sins. We are all inclined to lust and the physical gratification of it. My brother just quits hanging out at home. He feels like just sitting at home with not much going on inclines him to sin. So he frequents the coffee shop and we go out together and talk one on one about our faith. You did a good thing by letting your partner know about your problem and with their help I am sure you will be just fine. Just remember we all fall down several times, but do not use that as a crutch either.
 
Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.
 
littleflower_24 said:
Hayden, I know myself enough to know that I will be fine for a week-even two, until temptation really hits. And when it does, all of those thoughts-how can I stand? My thoughts aren’t looking toward God then…and I struggle until I give in.
You said you had the same thing happen to you, like feeling trapped in it-what did you do at times like that to stop yourself? Because I’ve gone to Adoration before, to my boyfriend, to workout, and in my mind it’s like I’ve already given in. When those temptations come I just keep thinking about it until I fall. What can I do?
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Have you tried asking for the intercession of the saints? Ask for the purity of our Lady, or pray to a saint who was once a horrible sinner, like St. Augustine or St. Ignatius of Loyola. Praying to St. Augustine helps me quite a bit.

To be honest, when I am tempted, Adoration doesn’t do much but make me feel guilty. If I am in a state of sin, I cannot even look at the Blessed Sacrament without feeling torn with guilt.

This one is a more long-term, developmental kind of thing and isn’t a quick fix (do not do this when tempted! do this instead when you are in a state of grace and looking towards God): look into Ignatian spirituality: the Spiritual Exercises. It has helped me quite a bit.

Also, pray to your guardian angel - it is his job to protect you.

In the time of emergency, when you cannot think clearly, when you crave the sin, when you feel your struggle is futile - grab hold of your rosary, hold on to it. Go outside if you have to. For every tempting thought, pray a Hail Mary. For every tempting stimulus, pray a Glory Be. When there is no where else to run, recognize one thing: in your suffering all the angels and saints in heaven are praying for you. If then you fail - which you may - despair not, but be contrite. Do not stop praying, even in a state of sin. That is one mistake that I used to make: when I fell, I ran from the only One who could help me. Getting over masturbation will take time, and you and I both will fall. This is our weakness. And the enemy knows it. But like any weakness, it can be corrected with time. I once heard a very wise statement: “Heaven rejoices more from the conversion of a repentant sinner than from the life of a righteous man.” Pax tecum.
 
Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.
 
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women and
blessed is the Fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners
now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our safeguard against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him we humbly pray and do thou oh Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, cast into Hell Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

Dear Jesus, You instituted the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Please grant that we make frequent use of the Sacrament of Reconciliation and of all sacraments, especially the Eucharist which is Your most holy Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity. For by making frequent use of the sacraments of Your Church, we obtain abundant graces that You bless us with to help us fight all of the temptations of the devil whom You conquered on the cross. Amen.

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Amen.
 
I too have dealt with the problem for many years. Through prayer, an accountability group, reading devotional books and mostly God’s work, I am beginning to see victory over this sin.

Thomas Kempis, author of a great devotional book called “Imitation of Christ” has alot to write about facing temptation. I point he makes that I have found helpful is to deal with the root of the problem. For most of us the root it is our thought life.

Capture unholy thoughts as soon as they enter our mind. Don’t allow yourself to dewell or fanticize on the lustfull thoughts but try to move your thoughts to something else, quickly! Even something as simple as reading a book, magazine, or a book on Christian devotion.

Here is the quote from Thomas Kempis: “Above all, we must be especially alert against the beginnings of temptation, for the enemy is more easily conquered if he is refused admittance to the mind and is met beyond the threshold when he knocks.”

Besides transfering your thoughts, I would have a accountability group that you can call or text and get their help. Someone that is going through the same type of problem as you and that will understand your battle. Getting their prayers and encouragement as soon as you face the temptation will help you.

Praying for your victory.
 
blackirish said:
I too have dealt with the problem for many years. Through prayer, an accountability group, reading devotional books and mostly God’s work, I am beginning to see victory over this sin.

Thomas Kempis, author of a great devotional book called “Imitation of Christ” has alot to write about facing temptation. I point he makes that I have found helpful is to deal with the root of the problem. For most of us the root it is our thought life.

Capture unholy thoughts as soon as they enter our mind. Don’t allow yourself to dewell or fanticize on the lustfull thoughts but try to move your thoughts to something else, quickly! Even something as simple as reading a book, magazine, or a book on Christian devotion.

Here is the quote from Thomas Kempis: “Above all, we must be especially alert against the beginnings of temptation, for the enemy is more easily conquered if he is refused admittance to the mind and is met beyond the threshold when he knocks.”

Besides transfering your thoughts, I would have a accountability group that you can call or text and get their help. Someone that is going through the same type of problem as you and that will understand your battle. Getting their prayers and encouragement as soon as you face the temptation will help you.

Praying for your victory.
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Amen !

Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.
 
Thank you for all of your prayers, I have been starting the rosary at least a few times a week as of two days ago. Temptations haven’t hit too hard yet, but maybe this is the calm before the storm. Sadness has been hitting hard more than anything though. Whether it is because I’m emotional or not there is still reason to it. My boyfriend had fallen to temptation the other day, and this just hit me really hard. I’m looking to join a support group here for that, but ether way it just hurts. I know I hurt him before by sinning myself, so why is it so hard to be on the other side?
Thoughts of my past have come up, with depression and the cutting, and the suicidal thoughts. Not that I am experiencing them again, but that I did that before. It is not anything I will ever do again, but sometimes this shadow seems to follow me, along with my past sins of masturbation and sacrilege.
I know I hurt God so much, and I hope that although he forgave my sins, I can repent of them. I want to be worthy of His Love, though I know I never can be. I want to go to heaven, and see many people there. Thank you for your prayers, Littleflower
 
James_OPL said:
Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.
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Keep your focus on God, and you will prevail. It may be rough at times, but thats why we have the sacraments. 🙂
 
reindeer said:
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women and
blessed is the Fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners
now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
Click to expand...
 
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