Masturbation OCD Anxiety Hell etc

[needleskane]

Hi everyone,

First of all, this is my first and perhaps only post. I am not even sure if I will be able to explain my state of being coherently or if anyone will actually truly understand. This may even come out as a ramble. Here are the basics; I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and depression. I am 26 y/o, grew up in a strict Catholic household, and attended Catholic school from kindergarten through 12th grade. I believe my religious indoctrination has amplified my psychological torments and I feel my spirituality was stolen from me. I understand Catholic doctrine at a high level, and thus feel I am held to a higher standard concerning my thoughts, emotions, and actions. I have been in therapy for years, much of which is focused upon guilt, shame, and beating up myself. I am a perfectionist and hold myself to a standard only Catholics and others with scrupulous consciences would understand; however, I have more or less been in a state of mortal sin according to Catholic doctrine for probably 12 years now. I have bred resentment by my high moral standards and wish I could feign ignorance like all of the cafeteria Catholics that are not as culpable as I. I have been told my Catholic upbringing has left me with PTSD. Yes, I know, excuses, excuses, excuses.

I am a good person. I am very socially conscious and treat others well. For example, in Lent Catholics are told not to eat meat on fridays or else it is a mortal sin. I, however, refuse to eat meat completely because of the obvious moral objections in which most of it is produced currently. I do not believe missing Mass is a mortal sin worthy of damnation, and I do not believe in papal infallibility or the magisterium, especially when I understand the obvious occult influences at the Vatican. I am enraged at the box that Catholicism puts its believers into and how it controls their spirituality. However, I do understand the need for a savior, and although gnosis and knowledge are important, without faith we can become lost and perish in infinity. I believe the Catholic church at the highest levels knows a lot more than it sends down the hierarchy to the masses and I find this revolting.

I have suffered the obvious compulsions such as masturbation and pornography, and also deal with the desire to drink and smoke weed to escape and get through temporary trials. I recognize sin and I hate it; however, I believe at some level life is a learning experience that is to be repeated ad infinitum until perfected. I despise the doctrine of Hell, and I do understand it. I just do not agree. Catholicism seems all or nothing. However, most Catholics do not agree with the official stance on birth control and even some on abortion. They just do not suffer the same guilt that I do, even though I am pro-life and do not use contraceptives with my wife. The black-and-white template Catholicism gave me when reality is shades of grey is tormenting. It seems like an all-or-nothing faith.

I suffer every day and I can only hope for mercy at my death, although perhaps I will then realize how small minded we humans are, and how ridiculous strict doctrine is. Honestly, it is quite amazing I am still even thinking about Catholicism considering the psychological damage it has afflicted upon me.

I now await the barrage of fundamentalists to start berating me about pride and that I have dug my own grave by falling victim to lust and anger. Perhaps they are right.

 

[Classicist]

Friend, if you are bracing yourself for an expected attack by “Fundamentalists”, you have wasted your time. Do not be anxious and angry before you post. You need to relax - this is a forum for giving aid, and people around here have probably seen a lot worse sin than what you’re talking about. Be at peace. People mean you no harm here.

Just remember one thing: you are not a good person. You are a sinner, like me and everyone else still on Earth. Don’t be controversial and then worry that people will hate you for being controversial. Be still, and know that the Lord is God.

 

[300WhiteKnights]

It sounds like you are suffering greatly. I am very sorry you are suffering in this way. I would strongly suggest that you begin a daily prayer life. Pray the rosary every day, and ask the blessed mother to obtain peace for your troubled heart. This will stop the devil from tormenting you.

If praying a whole rosary is too much, at least begin to say the “Hail Mary” throughout the day.

Also have you been to Confession? Confessing your sins gets them off your chest, and wipes your soul clean of all sin that distresses you.

No one is here is to berate you are accuse you of anything. People here only want to help you. I will pray for you.

But the most important thing for you to do, is to pray and to accept that you are not perfect. No here is perfect, I am most certainly not perfect. We must accept that we are not perfect, if we are to have peace in our lives. It is also important to remember that God will not judge us as if resisting sin was easy, and he will ALWAYS forgive us no matter what.

Remember to pray the rosary, go to Mass, and remember that God shares in your sufferings.

-In Christ, Steve

 

[michaelmas]

I had/have similar feelings of shame and was told once by a priest that I was limiting God in his forgiveness. It is something I have still struggle but try to remember that when we ask we are forgiven.

As for Mortal Sins, see the catechism. I think it is very hard to truly commit a mortal sin by the words of the catechism.

As for the Church. I also question my faith, the past history of our church, and the current state of our Church. I try to remember that it is lead by humans and we are sinful and a lot of things the church has done in the past is horrible but the main message of Christ remains. That foundation of our faith has never changed.

I have anxiety and ADHD but have no idea what it is like to be OCD but I feel for you and your pain right now. Coming here and posting is a good sign that the Spirit is working in you as you seek truth. Keep on searching.

 

[awsiukiewicz]

Hi everyone,

First of all, this is my first and perhaps only post. I am not even sure if I will be able to explain my state of being coherently or if anyone will actually truly understand. This may even come out as a ramble. Here are the basics; I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and depression. I am 26 y/o, grew up in a strict Catholic household, and attended Catholic school from kindergarten through 12th grade. I believe my religious indoctrination has amplified my psychological torments and I feel my spirituality was stolen from me. I understand Catholic doctrine at a high level, and thus feel I am held to a higher standard concerning my thoughts, emotions, and actions. I have been in therapy for years, much of which is focused upon guilt, shame, and beating up myself. I am a perfectionist and hold myself to a standard only Catholics and others with scrupulous consciences would understand; however, I have more or less been in a state of mortal sin according to Catholic doctrine for probably 12 years now. I have bred resentment by my high moral standards and wish I could feign ignorance like all of the cafeteria Catholics that are not as culpable as I. I have been told my Catholic upbringing has left me with PTSD. Yes, I know, excuses, excuses, excuses.

I am a good person. I am very socially conscious and treat others well. For example, in Lent Catholics are told not to eat meat on fridays or else it is a mortal sin. I, however, refuse to eat meat completely because of the obvious moral objections in which most of it is produced currently. I do not believe missing Mass is a mortal sin worthy of damnation, and I do not believe in papal infallibility or the magisterium, especially when I understand the obvious occult influences at the Vatican. I am enraged at the box that Catholicism puts its believers into and how it controls their spirituality. However, I do understand the need for a savior, and although gnosis and knowledge are important, without faith we can become lost and perish in infinity. I believe the Catholic church at the highest levels knows a lot more than it sends down the hierarchy to the masses and I find this revolting.

I have suffered the obvious compulsions such as masturbation and pornography, and also deal with the desire to drink and smoke weed to escape and get through temporary trials. I recognize sin and I hate it; however, I believe at some level life is a learning experience that is to be repeated ad infinitum until perfected. I despise the doctrine of Hell, and I do understand it. I just do not agree. Catholicism seems all or nothing. However, most Catholics do not agree with the official stance on birth control and even some on abortion. They just do not suffer the same guilt that I do, even though I am pro-life and do not use contraceptives with my wife. The black-and-white template Catholicism gave me when reality is shades of grey is tormenting. It seems like an all-or-nothing faith.

I suffer every day and I can only hope for mercy at my death, although perhaps I will then realize how small minded we humans are, and how ridiculous strict doctrine is. Honestly, it is quite amazing I am still even thinking about Catholicism considering the psychological damage it has afflicted upon me.

I now await the barrage of fundamentalists to start berating me about pride and that I have dug my own grave by falling victim to lust and anger. Perhaps they are right.

 

[awsiukiewicz]

I am more than a little confused as to why you are writing in…what it is that you are needing…I understand that you say you suffer from an anxiety disorder…and that you have been in therapy…I would hope that you are taking your medication. Not sure what you mean by growing up in a ‘strict’ Catholic family…I prefer the word devout…our prblms generally stem from our ‘perception’ of the world around us. how we react to life…rather than viewing from the standpoint of 'what the world, or, in your case…the Church…had dealt you…I have to believe that you might be being a little unfair in believing that you Catholic upbringing caused your PTSD…Please…What do you believe that the Catholic Church ‘knows’ on some higher level that IT is keeping from the masses…what occult infuences at the Vatican…and pray tell…how does the Church ‘control’ my spirituality…If you don’t believe what the Church teaches…i.e. Mass attendance, Papal infalllibility (and I wonder if you really know what is taught about this topic)…why remain Catholic…In all respect…I believe that your underlying pathology has infected your faith my friend…I agree with the individual comenting after you…frequent reception of the Sacraments, pray the Holy Rosary, Chesterton said…and I am paraphrasing…Rules are what keep us free…the descipline…try not to focus on the rules…lighten up…I would also suggest that the nervous energy you have, that you seem to find relief in masturbation…could be better used towards something constructive. Please try not to blame the Church for your problems…I love this site…there are a lot of very prayerful devout Catholics that offer some very sound suggestions…please be open to what is suggested…and I will pray for you…PAX

 

[gigi_mvn]

Porn is sinister, keep away from it, and get rid of it from your home (the television, internet, videos, and etc). If you need the computer or iPhone, have your wife place parental controls and restrictions.

Pray the Rosary daily, or as much as possible. Focus on the Sorrowful Mysteries, and ask for the fear of God. If you do not have a Rosary, use your fingers in the meantime.
When impulses start, counter them by praying (Hail Mary, Our Father, and/or Prayer to St. Michael) fervently.

When you break away from the sins of the flesh, you will suffer greatly for a period of time, so prepare, embrace, and be patient; hence, focus on the Sorrowful Mysteries.

God bless and I will pray for you.

 

[Bookcat]

I am very sorry for your suffering and struggles - but know that there are ideas in your post that simply not the case. In your suffering we would invite you to work with a good counselor (I saw this site sometime back that I saved to pass on catholictherapists.com/) such can be helpful in suffering.

Let us all turn to Jesus with our sufferings -(he loves you!) and let us all know that despite the human weakness within her members that the Church is his Church.

We pray that you can find in Jesus of Nazareth - true life– (and thus in his Church) -even in the midst of the various struggles and sufferings that can happen in life.

May all who see this post say a prayer for you.

 

[Robertanthony]

Porn is sinister, keep away from it, and get rid of it from your home (the television, internet, videos, and etc). If you need the computer or iPhone, have your wife place parental controls and restrictions.

Pray the Rosary daily, or as much as possible. Focus on the Sorrowful Mysteries, **and ask for the fear of God. **If you do not have a Rosary, use your fingers in the meantime.
When impulses start, counter them by praying (Hail Mary, Our Father, and/or Prayer to St. Michael) fervently.

When you break away from the sins of the flesh, you will suffer greatly for a period of time, so prepare, embrace, and be patient; hence, focus on the Sorrowful Mysteries.

God bless and I will pray for you.

With all due respect us poor creatures who have anxiety have our whole life governed by fear, we don’t need to beckon another one.

Personal opinion here, but to me God in the life of an anxious people is like a band aid on an infecting wood, it may hide it but doesn’t cure it. Hell is a horrible, horrible thing, as an anxious person with an impressionable mind, hell is simply too much. Great suffering, total absence of what is like oxygen to human beings: hope. I’ll never be able to accept hell and no amount of scholarly arguments will make me change my mind about it. Hell is like denying someone dying from a terminal disease and subject to intense pain medication to alleviate that pain while at the same time being intent on keeping them alive and awake so they can experience every moment of agony. The horror of hell can,t be reconciled with God’s goodness or love, period.

 

[Bookcat]

I am very sorry for your suffering and struggles - but know that there are ideas in your post that simply not the case. In your suffering we would invite you to work with a good counselor (I saw this site sometime back that I saved to pass on catholictherapists.com/) such can be helpful in suffering. I imagine you have a counselor but I think your ideas and difficulties regarding the Church may not be being addressed from a perspective of understanding what the Church teaches etc and what the Church does not. No matter what one may personally know oneself – one is not ones best counselor (even doctors see other doctors). And having a therapist that is positive about the Catholic Faith and who can also understand your difficulties and assist there -can be a good idea. And can help the healing process in a way that one who does not have that background cannot.

Let us all turn to Jesus with our sufferings -(he loves you!) and let us all know that despite the human weakness within her members that the Church is his Church.

We pray that you can find in Jesus of Nazareth - true life– (and thus in his Church) -even in the midst of the various struggles and sufferings that can happen in life.

May all who see this post say a prayer for you.

 

[Robert_Sock]

With all due respect us poor creatures who have anxiety have our whole life governed by fear, we don’t need to beckon another one.

Personal opinion here, but to me God in the life of an anxious people is like a band aid on an infecting wood, it may hide it but doesn’t cure it. Hell is a horrible, horrible thing, as an anxious person with an impressionable mind, hell is simply too much. Great suffering, total absence of what is like oxygen to human beings: hope. I’ll never be able to accept hell and no amount of scholarly arguments will make me change my mind about it. Hell is like denying someone dying from a terminal disease and subject to intense pain medication to alleviate that pain while at the same time being intent on keeping them alive and awake so they can experience every moment of agony. The horror of hell can,t be reconciled with God’s goodness or love, period.

I feel the same way, but I have to wonder why a view such as this is not preached from the pulpit? If anyone has any insight, I would like to read what you have to say!

 

[71326]

Catholicism is up front about many things; it is for sure all or nothing.

That is why there seems to be a risk involved when a convert is making the leap. Because the vow of communion goes infinitely beyond receiving a guilt-induced baptism.

 

[fred_conty]

With all due respect us poor creatures who have anxiety have our whole life governed by fear, we don’t need to beckon another one.

Personal opinion here, but to me God in the life of an anxious people is like a band aid on an infecting wood, it may hide it but doesn’t cure it. Hell is a horrible, horrible thing, as an anxious person with an impressionable mind, hell is simply too much. Great suffering, total absence of what is like oxygen to human beings: hope. I’ll never be able to accept hell and no amount of scholarly arguments will make me change my mind about it. Hell is like denying someone dying from a terminal disease and subject to intense pain medication to alleviate that pain while at the same time being intent on keeping them alive and awake so they can experience every moment of agony. The horror of hell can,t be reconciled with God’s goodness or love, period.

I don’t know of anyone who likes the idea of there being a hell, and still less that people are going there. But there are other things too that are terribly unpleasant in our real world too. It is just an ugly fact that we must face. And I do think it is a blessing to know about it in advance rather than find our about it when its’ too late.

The flip side of the coin is that now that we know, we can do something about it. And we can make a difference in the world with our prayers and our good accomplishments to help those find the way to Jesus before it is too late for them. This is our mission and previlege in life and the challenge given by our Saviour to be his co-workers in his vineyard. We have the opportunity to bring someone else to the table set in heaven. This is the real mystery of his love thru us. Give yourself to Jesus thru praying for those unfortunates. St. Faustina said that Jesus always listens and answers those prayers. In saving others, we save ourselves.

There are things about this world and the next that will never be reconciled with our limited intellectual abilities while we live. Right now we live by faith and trust and in the next world we will live by God’s light. And that is what faith is, not seeing but yet believing.

Be at peace.​

“All the ends of the earth have seen salvation. All the ends of the earth have seen the saving power of God.” (hymn)

 

[gigi_mvn]

With all due respect us poor creatures who have anxiety have our whole life governed by fear, we don’t need to beckon another one.

Personal opinion here, but to me God in the life of an anxious people is like a band aid on an infecting wood, it may hide it but doesn’t cure it. Hell is a horrible, horrible thing, as an anxious person with an impressionable mind, hell is simply too much. Great suffering, total absence of what is like oxygen to human beings: hope. I’ll never be able to accept hell and no amount of scholarly arguments will make me change my mind about it. Hell is like denying someone dying from a terminal disease and subject to intense pain medication to alleviate that pain while at the same time being intent on keeping them alive and awake so they can experience every moment of agony. The horror of hell can,t be reconciled with God’s goodness or love, period.

Correct, what you’ve written is your personal opinion.

What I’ve written is not a private opinion; it is the teaching of the Bible, the Church, and the Saints. All the Saints, who are far more advanced in love than we are continued to have fear (awe) of God. They also continued to have terror-fear: not at God, but at sin.
When praying the Rosary one must ask for gifts, graces, and blessings from the Lord. According to St. Louis De Montfort – The Secret of The Rosary.

According to the Catholic Catechism:
1831 The seven gifts of the Holy Spirit are wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, and fear of the Lord. They belong in their fullness to Christ, Son of David. [Cf. Isa 11:1-2] They complete and perfect the virtues of those who receive them. They make the faithful docile in readily obeying divine inspirations. [1266, 1299]

Bible:
Exodus:
20:18 When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear. They stayed at a distance and said to Moses, “Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But do not have God speak to us or we will die.”
20:20 Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning.”

Psalms:
36:1-2 An oracle is within my heart concerning the sinfulness of the wicked: There is no fear of God before his eyes. For in his own eyes he flatters himself too much to detect or hate his sin."

Proverbs:
9:10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is prudence.

Saint Pio of Pietrelcina
“Love and fear must go united together, fear without love becomes cowardice. Love without fear becomes presumption. When there is love without fear, love runs without prudence and without restraint, without taking care where it is going.”

Dr. Peter Kreeft - Catholic Convert from Protestantism
“Perfect love casts out fear, but unless we begin with fear, we cannot progress to perfect love. Fear is the caterpillar; love is the butterfly.”

 

[pwlj_christ87]

i too like you can relate to being depressed, i am the same age as you 25 turning 26 very soon… i like you was depressed for a long time, even hospitalized a number or times… the times i was depressed or hospitalized were the times i was farthest from god almost n the pits themselves… doing drugs and drining ,all ungodly things which led me to and made things worse… i am now living as a catholic christian and have never felt anymore at peace, never more fully human, never more with a purpose and never more with love and wanting to befriend…

you say that you want a relationship with jesus… and you definately can and already do have one, and if you studied a little more about him youd come to the realization that to love and have a relationship is very much a churchly life… i do not mean to say this as someone trying to “brainwash” you into some sort of cult… for that scares me and believe me its not what i would want someone doing to me… but jesus formed 2000 years ago a church and to be apart of it today is sharing in the royal “assembly” that he wanted to gather us in…

listen to me here i have alot of expierence in this… do not smoke weed, do not drink. these things are huge barriers to your life and are only making things worse to you. they are the cause of problems, not the solutions. I have grown up in a family where alcohol has created great problems, and i turned to the same and weed when i was growing up… i know that deep down you probably despise both… i bet you can even remember like me the first time you took a hit of weed and wish you never did…

see the teachings of catholicism are not meant to torment but meant to nurture you… when someone tells you to not light a joint, as if a loving father told you to… he means it out of his best intentions, and the church is the same… you say your knowledgable of catholic doctrine how great that is!! how blessed you are to have that knowledge at such an early age… listen , we both are a part of this society that wants to destroy us with the help and through the works of satan… lets fight it…

you say you all sin… that is the holy spirit instructing you! your a sinner , like me like us all… but… the thing here is that you do NOT have to be a sinner , in fact your destiny, your purpose in life is to be a saint! and its not only possible but it will come if you want it to.

and that way is through the church… give 100 percetn to god! pray constantly and you will be shown purity and you will be given the gift of chasityt and you will see how amazng your life will be and continue to be… when jesus died on the cross he wanted to be no dissention, factions etc amongst his believers…so when you disagree with papal infallibility you are dissenting! you are opposing god… and when you do thatyou let satan get just a little more grasp of you and your mind and your will… when you focus on the catholics that disagree with things you look at the negatives… exactly what satan wants to do to you to turn you away from god… when you disagree with contraception you are implying a perverted sexual relationship with your spouse instead of the godly unifiying and procreative purposes… again letting satan get a grasp of you

well heres what to do!!! fight the devil with TRUTH! let him have no grasp on your life in any way shape or form and i will pray right now that he leaves you…i strongly urge you to look at the positives of GOD and his beauty!! im always here to talk to you if you want to pm me

 

[Deus_tecum]

I recommend you engage in study of Christian contemplation and meditation as expounded upon by many Catholic Saints, monks, and others. If you have OCD and chronic anxiety, you know that you are consumed with your own thoughts, and often your behavior is driven by those thoughts. This is a magnification of “self”, and it is that very self Christ calls us to die to, so that we can live in Him. To free yourself from anxiety and its many symptoms you have to stop living in your own head, so to speak. By the way, OCD is just an anxiety avoidance mechanism, so you have both surface anxiety and hidden anxiety. You can be free of both by the grace of God.

 

[Aphraxus]

Hi. I probably can relate to a certain degree to OP’s problem, and to be honest masturbation is something I am still constantly struggling with. I am addicted, of that there is no doubt.

I don’t think I suffer from OCD. Mine is a plain addiction, and it has come to a point where I am trying to rationalize my habit and make excuses for myself, despite knowing just how wrong what I am doing is. The problem with masturbation, for me at least, is that it involves several conscious acts - dwelling on certain thoughts, turning on the computer and seeking out that sexual high. The biggest problem however is that I know how wrong it is, how harmful it is, and yet I still want to do it.

There are times when I simply fall into despair - because I want to masturbate so much, and resisting it only intensifies the desire. The only reason I want to stop is because masturbation is a mortal sin that, if my understanding is correct, is tantamount to a rejection of God’s grace within me. Yet despite knowing that, despite being aware that I am literally slapping God’s hand away, I still do it. In this, I think, the true danger of mortal sin arises - because I have occasionally and rather cynically thought that all this mental anguish and torture would be a waste if God didn’t exist. From guilt of sinning to denial of God - it is remarkable how I would question the existence of my Creator simply to feed my carnal desires.

It is torture, yes. Of that there can be no doubt. But to assign blame, on my part at least, to Catholic teaching would be wrong, because it is my own habitual descent into the murky waters of carnal lust that has left me in this predicament. The torture is the knowledge that I have rejected Truth to feed my lust, and that is just another shade of guilt and rationalization.

I’m probably rambling. It’s late where I am and I have actually just fought off another bout of desire by scrolling through every masturbation post on this forum to constantly remind myself that what I am intending to do is so very wrong.

 

[perro_sarnoso]

Hi everyone,

First of all, this is my first and perhaps only post. I am not even sure if I will be able to explain my state of being coherently or if anyone will actually truly understand. This may even come out as a ramble. Here are the basics; I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and depression. I am 26 y/o, grew up in a strict Catholic household, and attended Catholic school from kindergarten through 12th grade. I believe my religious indoctrination has amplified my psychological torments and I feel my spirituality was stolen from me. I understand Catholic doctrine at a high level, and thus feel I am held to a higher standard concerning my thoughts, emotions, and actions. I have been in therapy for years, much of which is focused upon guilt, shame, and beating up myself. I am a perfectionist and hold myself to a standard only Catholics and others with scrupulous consciences would understand; however, I have more or less been in a state of mortal sin according to Catholic doctrine for probably 12 years now. I have bred resentment by my high moral standards and wish I could feign ignorance like all of the cafeteria Catholics that are not as culpable as I. I have been told my Catholic upbringing has left me with PTSD. Yes, I know, excuses, excuses, excuses.

I am a good person. I am very socially conscious and treat others well. For example, in Lent Catholics are told not to eat meat on fridays or else it is a mortal sin. I, however, refuse to eat meat completely because of the obvious moral objections in which most of it is produced currently. I do not believe missing Mass is a mortal sin worthy of damnation, and I do not believe in papal infallibility or the magisterium, especially when I understand the obvious occult influences at the Vatican. I am enraged at the box that Catholicism puts its believers into and how it controls their spirituality. However, I do understand the need for a savior, and although gnosis and knowledge are important, without faith we can become lost and perish in infinity. I believe the Catholic church at the highest levels knows a lot more than it sends down the hierarchy to the masses and I find this revolting.

I have suffered the obvious compulsions such as masturbation and pornography, and also deal with the desire to drink and smoke weed to escape and get through temporary trials. I recognize sin and I hate it; however, I believe at some level life is a learning experience that is to be repeated ad infinitum until perfected. I despise the doctrine of Hell, and I do understand it. I just do not agree. Catholicism seems all or nothing. However, most Catholics do not agree with the official stance on birth control and even some on abortion. They just do not suffer the same guilt that I do, even though I am pro-life and do not use contraceptives with my wife. The black-and-white template Catholicism gave me when reality is shades of grey is tormenting. It seems like an all-or-nothing faith.

I suffer every day and I can only hope for mercy at my death, although perhaps I will then realize how small minded we humans are, and how ridiculous strict doctrine is. Honestly, it is quite amazing I am still even thinking about Catholicism considering the psychological damage it has afflicted upon me.

I now await the barrage of fundamentalists to start berating me about pride and that I have dug my own grave by falling victim to lust and anger. Perhaps they are right.

I’m not even going to bother with the details,

Confession!! followed by Communion.

There is true grace and power in the Sacrament of Confession. Every week if you are weak. Confess and confess again and again. Seek the grace needed and the strength found in this sacrament.

Quit and quit again. Don’t be frustrated by the weakness of your flesh. Eliminate the things that lead you to this sin of the flesh. TV shows; magazines; images; conversations; websites; fetishes…seek to be pure of heart and mind and soul. Seek to purify your eyes-where you look-what you look at.

See the soul of the person and not the body or any part of that body that makes you fantasize and sin.

Chastise your flesh by not giving it what it wants. Try one week of no meat, chicken, pork, alcoholic beverages, sodas, candy/sweets of any kind, coffee and high end seafood.

Pray the Rosary everday…on your knees!! It is hard to think of anything of the flesh when your knees hurt.

A good confession is more effective than any exorcism.

 

[Lisa1967]

Hi everyone,

First of all, this is my first and perhaps only post. I am not even sure if I will be able to explain my state of being coherently or if anyone will actually truly understand. This may even come out as a ramble. Here are the basics; I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and depression. I am 26 y/o, grew up in a strict Catholic household, and attended Catholic school from kindergarten through 12th grade. I believe my religious indoctrination has amplified my psychological torments and I feel my spirituality was stolen from me. I understand Catholic doctrine at a high level, and thus feel I am held to a higher standard concerning my thoughts, emotions, and actions. I have been in therapy for years, much of which is focused upon guilt, shame, and beating up myself. I am a perfectionist and hold myself to a standard only Catholics and others with scrupulous consciences would understand; however, I have more or less been in a state of mortal sin according to Catholic doctrine for probably 12 years now. I have bred resentment by my high moral standards and wish I could feign ignorance like all of the cafeteria Catholics that are not as culpable as I. I have been told my Catholic upbringing has left me with PTSD. Yes, I know, excuses, excuses, excuses.

I am a good person. I am very socially conscious and treat others well. For example, in Lent Catholics are told not to eat meat on fridays or else it is a mortal sin. I, however, refuse to eat meat completely because of the obvious moral objections in which most of it is produced currently. I do not believe missing Mass is a mortal sin worthy of damnation, and I do not believe in papal infallibility or the magisterium, especially when I understand the obvious occult influences at the Vatican. I am enraged at the box that Catholicism puts its believers into and how it controls their spirituality. However, I do understand the need for a savior, and although gnosis and knowledge are important, without faith we can become lost and perish in infinity. I believe the Catholic church at the highest levels knows a lot more than it sends down the hierarchy to the masses and I find this revolting.

I have suffered the obvious compulsions such as masturbation and pornography, and also deal with the desire to drink and smoke weed to escape and get through temporary trials. I recognize sin and I hate it; however, I believe at some level life is a learning experience that is to be repeated ad infinitum until perfected. I despise the doctrine of Hell, and I do understand it. I just do not agree. Catholicism seems all or nothing. However, most Catholics do not agree with the official stance on birth control and even some on abortion. They just do not suffer the same guilt that I do, even though I am pro-life and do not use contraceptives with my wife. The black-and-white template Catholicism gave me when reality is shades of grey is tormenting. It seems like an all-or-nothing faith.

I suffer every day and I can only hope for mercy at my death, although perhaps I will then realize how small minded we humans are, and how ridiculous strict doctrine is. Honestly, it is quite amazing I am still even thinking about Catholicism considering the psychological damage it has afflicted upon me.

I now await the barrage of fundamentalists to start berating me about pride and that I have dug my own grave by falling victim to lust and anger. Perhaps they are right.

Thanks for sticking your neck out and sharing.

have struggled with many of the things you have. I went to Confession and the priest said I was scrupulous. When I was a Catholic, I was blessed with some great confessors.

I find it helpful to remember how loving and merciful Jesus is. God is not religion. I think sometimes we can be harder on ourselves than God is.

If you want to send me a private message, feel free.

 

[Robertanthony]

I recommend you engage in study of Christian contemplation and meditation as expounded upon by many Catholic Saints, monks, and others. If you have OCD and chronic anxiety, you know that you are consumed with your own thoughts, and often your behavior is driven by those thoughts. This is a magnification of “self”, and it is that very self Christ calls us to die to, so that we can live in Him. To free yourself from anxiety and its many symptoms you have to stop living in your own head, so to speak. By the way, OCD is just an anxiety avoidance mechanism, so you have both surface anxiety and hidden anxiety. You can be free of both by the grace of God.

Deus tecum,
both sides of my family are plagued by various mental illnesses in varying degrees, the more severe cases are all on my father’s side, human misery that is difficult and mortifying to have been made a rightful inheritant of. I’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, the conviction of being a worthless, unlovable, pathetic human being from the youngest age, the thought of suicide never leaves me for very long periods, I’m tormented and extremely angry and bitter with God, could you be more specific in what you’re suggesting. To make matters worse, my father was a pious Catholic, but none of his core issues got resolved even though he received communion thousands of times and been to confession quite a few times, what I have around me is living proof that the God route is one made up of empty promises. I don’t even understand how a supposedly loving God would let me get out of my mother’s womb alive (paraphrasing Jeremiah). Thank you.