Masturbation....Or not?

[stealthy1]

Hey guys,

I’m gonna ask for some advice here. I’ve been studying like crazy for exams and honestly I am sick and tired of it. So…I go on Wikipedia and look at some articles. Somehow I end up on the articles dealing with sex and all that; given its Wiki there are sexually explicit pictures. So…yeah I end up starting to masturbate, but I manage to stop before I “get there.”

This isn’t the first time its happened, it happened for the first time two nights ago, only that night I accidentally ended up seeing pornography (not any videos, but screenshots) for a minute or so. I think I was curious…

My problem is that in my mind I have no idea why I was so engrossed into it. I’ve been clean for over 3 weeks now and these sorta “relapses” just broke me…I’m not sure if I’ve done mortal sin. In the first time I never started feeling sexual pleasure, but this time I had begun to, so I’m really confused as to whether I committed sin.

I guess I’m lucky enough to have gotten a grip of myself before I actually went through the whole thing. I don’t know what my purpose was in looking through those articles, but I wasn’t just looking at the pictures, I was actually reading the articles.

So…in summary, can anybody advise me on whether I actually committed mortal sin?

I should mention that I am a recovering addict, but as I said, by the Grace of God, after my Easter Baptism I managed to entirely shove it and have never actually masturbated to the point of orgasm.

Ben

PS: Mods please move this if I’m in the wrong forum.

 

[lllIIIlIlIlIlI]

From what I’ve been told, masturbation is a mortal sin and must be confessed. I know it is frustrating when it comes to hormones and I don’t judge you at all. I’m a woman, 24 years of age and I struggle with the same temptations you have, too. All I can advise is go to confession, then the next time you have the urge to masturbate, try praying or diverting your attention elsewhere.

But it is hard…it is REALLY hard. I’ll keep you in my prayers, Ben.

 

[ravloony]

Ok a few pointers here.

→ Mortal sin is : full intention, full knowledge, and grave matter. There is obviously grave matter, but the other two are not so clear. I have been told in confession several times that if one has a doubt about whether a sin was mortal or not, then it wasn’t. But only you can answer the question as to intention and knowledge.

However… My advice is to go and confess it anyway, and then move on and forget the whole thing. Impurity is always helped by worrying about it. So let go, find something else to do to relax during revisions, and be very careful of random web surfing.

I recommend you go for a run or a walk next time instead of hitting wikipedia. You’re trying to eradicate a sin of the flesh, so sport seems indicated for teaching your body who is boss

Don’t give up!

 

[whm]

You do not have to “finish” for it to be a mortal sin. From what you described, it sounds mortal to me. I would go to confession ASAP. Then you can move on in good conscience! Keep up the good fight.

God Bless

 

[kristacecilia]

With ANY repetitive sin, the best thing you can do is stay close to the sacraments. It doesn’t matter if it was mortal or not- it is something that you are currently working on weeding out of your life.

Go to confession. Make a plan to go to confession every two weeks (or more often) just to stay close to the sacrament. It doesn’t matter if you have sinned mortally or not. Receive Our Lord in Holy Communion as frequently as you can manage (daily, if possible).

The closer you are to the sacraments, the better. For ANY repeat offender sins/bad habits. It’s when we start trying to rationalize or excuse our behavior (“well, I am not sure that was a mortal sin so it must only be venial- I don’t have to go to confession…”) that we allow Satan to take hold of us.

 

[DrFloyd]

Masturbation is an “addiction”? “I’ve been clean”? Seriously?

My take on it is that the sex drive is a biological urge, and masturbation is a safe way to relieve it…I even had a priest tell me that. Was the priest wrong?

Yet according to what I am reading here, it is a mortal sin for which you will [devil voice] BURN IN HELL?

Huh?

 

[Bbigam]

I’m glad you were able to go three weeks! But in my experience, it takes a lot longer than that to really rid ourselves of the temptation. In fact, I’m wondering if it will ever totally go away. Avert your eyes and say,“Lord, have mercy!” the moment you see something tempting. Mortal or not, go to confession! Try to go to daily Mass! It helps!

Masturbation is an “addiction”? “I’ve been clean”? Seriously?

My take on it is that the sex drive is a biological urge, and masturbation is a safe way to relieve it…I even had a priest tell me that. Was the priest wrong?

Yet according to what I am reading here, it is a mortal sin for which you will [devil voice] BURN IN HELL?

Huh?

Yes, the priest was absolutely wrong. Catechism 2352 makes this clear. Of course, it has to be with full consent and knowledge to be mortal, but it’s alway grave sin. The safe ways to “relieve the urge” are within marriage or through nocturnal emissions.

 

[Paul1961]

Masturbation is an “addiction”? “I’ve been clean”? Seriously?

My take on it is that the sex drive is a biological urge, and masturbation is a safe way to relieve it…I even had a priest tell me that. Was the priest wrong?

Yet according to what I am reading here, it is a mortal sin for which you will [devil voice] BURN IN HELL?

Huh?

We may think our brain controls our behavior. It does but these thoughts are chemically produced by our hormones. In nature(that includes us), the sex drive is only surpassed by the needs to breath, eat, sleep. In many species, the reproduction ends with the death.

Nature wants you to think about sex(and act on it) to continue the species. As long as your hormone levels are normal, you will feel the pull to have sex.

 

[DrFloyd]

We may think our brain controls our behavior. It does but these thoughts are chemically produced by our hormones. In nature(that includes us), the sex drive is only surpassed by the needs to breath, eat, sleep. In many species, the reproduction ends with the death.

Nature wants you to think about sex(and act on it) to continue the species. As long as your hormone levels are normal, you will feel the pull to have sex.

I disagree. I have several woman with whom I am very intimately acquainted. I know them extremely well, and vice-versa. I find two of them quite attractive, from a physical point of view. I have no desire to have sex with any of them, none. I am a virgin at age 33, and have never had a desire for sex. Yet, the sex drive is still there, and masturbating once or twice a week to relieve it is going to land me in hell? What?

 

[DrFloyd]

Yes, the priest was absolutely wrong. Catechism 2352 makes this clear.

I see. What about the codes in canon law that make it clear that if a member of the clergy who has sworn a vow of celibacy breaks that oath, then they are to be defrocked? Why are those simply ignored when things like sexual molestation occur, and instead of the codes being followed, the violator is simply quietly transferred? Why is it okay for those codes to be violated, but it’s not okay to violate 2352?

 

[stringbeanduck]

I see. What about the codes in canon law that make it clear that if a member of the clergy who has sworn a vow of celibacy breaks that oath, then they are to be defrocked? Why are those simply ignored when things like sexual molestation occur, and instead of the codes being followed, the violator is simply quietly transferred? Why is it okay for those codes to be violated, but it’s not okay to violate 2352?

It’s never okay to violate any teaching of the church. Please don’t make this into “they do more wrong than I” arguement. It doesn’t work.

Masturbation is grave matter. As explained above, if you with fully knowing of it’s gravity, decide to do it anyways, that is a mortal siin. An just so you are clear, any method of taking sexual activity out it’s proper place is grave matter.

Offenses against chastity

2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action."138 “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."139

To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.

2353 Fornication is carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman. It is gravely contrary to the dignity of persons and of human sexuality which is naturally ordered to the good of spouses and the generation and education of children. Moreover, it is a grave scandal when there is corruption of the young.

2354 Pornography consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners, in order to display them deliberately to third parties. It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others. It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense. Civil authorities should prevent the production and distribution of pornographic materials.

2355 Prostitution does injury to the dignity of the person who engages in it, reducing the person to an instrument of sexual pleasure. The one who pays sins gravely against himself: he violates the chastity to which his Baptism pledged him and defiles his body, the temple of the Holy Spirit.140 Prostitution is a social scourge. It usually involves women, but also men, children, and adolescents (The latter two cases involve the added sin of scandal.). While it is always gravely sinful to engage in prostitution, the imputability of the offense can be attenuated by destitution, blackmail, or social pressure.

2356 Rape is the forcible violation of the sexual intimacy of another person. It does injury to justice and charity. Rape deeply wounds the respect, freedom, and physical and moral integrity to which every person has a right. It causes grave damage that can mark the victim for life. It is always an intrinsically evil act. Graver still is the rape of children committed by parents (incest) or those responsible for the education of the children entrusted to them.

 

[DrFloyd]

It’s never okay to violate any teaching of the church. Please don’t make this into “they do more wrong than I” arguement. It doesn’t work.

I’m not bringing this up to say what I’m doing is okay. What I’m saying is, why is it okay for those church codes to be enforced, yet other ones aren’t? Why aren’t the church rules being followed for clergy who violate the vows of celibacy? They are to be defrocked; why isn’t that happening? That’s what the RULES state; why aren’t they being enforced?

No matter how you phrase it, it is hypocritical.

 

[baltobetsy]

I’m not bringing this up to say what I’m doing is okay. What I’m saying is, why is it okay for those church codes to be enforced, yet other ones aren’t? Why aren’t the church rules being followed for clergy who violate the vows of celibacy? They are to be defrocked; why isn’t that happening? That’s what the RULES state; why aren’t they being enforced?

They all end up being enforced immediately after death at the particular judgement.

 

[MtnDwellar]

I’m not bringing this up to say what I’m doing is okay. What I’m saying is, why is it okay for those church codes to be enforced, yet other ones aren’t? Why aren’t the church rules being followed for clergy who violate the vows of celibacy? They are to be defrocked; why isn’t that happening? That’s what the RULES state; why aren’t they being enforced?

No matter how you phrase it, it is hypocritical.

Can you find the canon law? Here is what I found on Wikipedia. (I know it is a questionable source.) en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clerical_celibacy_%28Catholic_Church%29

**Clerical celibacy (Catholic Church)

Clerical celibacy is the discipline by which, in some Churches, only unmarried men are, as a rule, to be ordained to the priesthood. The same discipline holds in some other Churches for ordination to the episcopate.

In this context, “celibacy” retains its original meaning of “unmarried”, and does not refer to the continence or abstinence from sexual intercourse that even the married may practise.**

From that, it doesn’t sound like engaging in sexual acts is a violation of the vow. Of course it is still sinful act, but not a defrockable offense.

 

[MtnDwellar]

And on topic:

All pleasure, outside of marriage, that is associated with the creative power, that is directly willed or desired, and intentionally acted upon, is a mortal sin.

You decide.

 

[DrFloyd]

What exactly would happen if you are married, in bed with your wife, and during sexual activity you begin to masturbate?

 

[MtnDwellar]

What exactly would happen if you are married, in bed with your wife, and during sexual activity you begin to masturbate?

I guess that would depend on the wife

 

[Bbigam]

I disagree. I have several woman with whom I am very intimately acquainted. I know them extremely well, and vice-versa. I find two of them quite attractive, from a physical point of view. I have no desire to have sex with any of them, none. I am a virgin at age 33, and have never had a desire for sex. Yet, the sex drive is still there, and masturbating once or twice a week to relieve it is going to land me in hell? What?

An alcoholic has a powerful urge to get drunk all the time. That doesn’t make it okay. It’s called self-discipline.

I see. What about the codes in canon law that make it clear that if a member of the clergy who has sworn a vow of celibacy breaks that oath, then they are to be defrocked? Why are those simply ignored when things like sexual molestation occur, and instead of the codes being followed, the violator is simply quietly transferred? Why is it okay for those codes to be violated, but it’s not okay to violate 2352?

MtnDwellar explained the difference between abstinence and celibacy, but even aside from that… things aren’t always enforced as they should be, here on earth. That doesn’t change the fact that wrong is wrong and right is right, period. And it’s not like the Church is out there spying on us to see if we have masturbated.

I’m not bringing this up to say what I’m doing is okay. What I’m saying is, why is it okay for those church codes to be enforced, yet other ones aren’t? Why aren’t the church rules being followed for clergy who violate the vows of celibacy? They are to be defrocked; why isn’t that happening? That’s what the RULES state; why aren’t they being enforced?

No matter how you phrase it, it is hypocritical.

Nobody said it’s okay for rules to be followed inconsistently.

 

[DrFloyd]

An alcoholic has a powerful urge to get drunk all the time. That doesn’t make it okay. It’s called self-discipline.

This comparison fails because getting drunk is NOT a biological urge. The sex drive is.

 

[BrokenFortress]

What exactly would happen if you are married, in bed with your wife, and during sexual activity you begin to masturbate?

What would the intent of this be? To pleasure yourself? Well, then you’re in it for the wrong reason. It should be about both the wife and the husband.

Are you doing this to prevent finishing inside your wife? Well, then that’s a sin as well.

I guess I can’t see why masturbating during sex would be a good thing?