Masturbation question..

[Lilsheep88]

Just wondering, would it be a sin to masturbate EXCLUSIVELY about your spouse / girlfriend / long term relationship partner ?? Especially when she consents to it and welcomes it (rather than masturbate about lets say… a celebrity)? And would it be considered a sin if you did it once in a while… like lets say when you REALLY REALLY cant hold it anymore and youre at the point of having wet dreams every night and persistent morning wood that just wont go away? help…

 

[fermat]

Yes, it still would be. Your sexuality is designed to be a gift to your spouse. If you are experiencing this much angst and frustration, then you need to talk to your spouse.

At the end of the day, masturbation is self-gratification and that is the problem. It isn’t about who you think about it, it is that it is ultimately a selfish use of a gift that is designed to shared.

I used to do that same thing and I justified it by telling myself this was just maintenance. I would get cranky when it had been too long between intercourse and sometimes my wife was not feeling well. So I would self-gratify and feel better. Eventually, it became easier because I wasn’t stressed, I could not bother my wife. Win-win. Except that my most intimate relationship was with myself, not my spouse. I came to realize that I was cheating on my wife with myself.

Offer up your suffering and join it with Jesus on the cross. I know that it can be frustrating and uncomfortable, but it is really no bigger deal than anything else worth protecting. You are the master of you body, not the other way around. Distract yourself with prayer and you will start to feel better.

 

[joshrp]

Just wondering, would it be a sin to masturbate EXCLUSIVELY about your spouse / girlfriend / long term relationship partner ?? Especially when she consents to it and welcomes it (rather than masturbate about lets say… a celebrity)? And would it be considered a sin if you did it once in a while… like lets say when you REALLY REALLY cant hold it anymore and youre at the point of having wet dreams every night and persistent morning wood that just wont go away? help…

Masturbation is always a sin. To stimulate the sexual organs for erotic pleasure outside of physical intimacy and contact between a married man and woman who are open to the gift of life will kill your soul. It is a sin against charity and chastity. I suggest you avoid it as best you can and make a reolution not to do it. It’s not going to help your wet dream and morning erection problem. Spend more time in adoration. Eucharistic adoration will help you greatly. Instead of fantasizing about each other, pray the rosary together. You will never be satisfied with unchaste acts. You will just have to keep finding more and more intense images to stimulate yourself with. I know this from personal experience.

Do you want to marry and are willing to accept life from any sexual act you engage in with your spouse, if God wills it? I’d say that is the main question one should ask oneself before even considering having any sexual activity, because that is what it is for.

Any pleasure experienced from sexual activity that is not open to giving life, will never satisfy you. It will be like a drug that you have to get even higher and higher doses of.just to get the same cheap high you did at the beginning of your habit. The only joy you will ever experience from sex is in total self-donation of yourself to your spouse and your spouse to you.

Message me if you want to talk about this. Just note that if you masturbate that is a mortal sin that needs to be confessed before you receive Jesus in the Eucharist.
Joshua

 

[Lilsheep88]

so your saying you cant even enjoy sex while you are married?

 

[WoundedIcon]

so your saying you cant even enjoy sex while you are married?

The simplest way of putting it is that a married person may do just about anything as foreplay but no contraception may be used, and you must respect the other (not abusing him/her, or using them just for pleasure), and it must end in ejaculation inside the vagina.

 

[MS_SURVEYOR]

Been there, done that! Know what you’re what you’re going through! Made every excuse known! My priest even gave me kind explanations of examples of long term disorders. I finally asked him, " is it always a mortal sin?" He said, " YES IT IS!" That was it! No more for me! Stopping at that answer wasn’t hard at all. Once you put it, Heaven Or Hell! That day opened my eyes to how Satan worked. He’ll do anything to steal your soul. The very same things you asked, and more. I was already praying everyday. I was, and am, praying the Rosary everyday. What gave me the power over Satan was Mary and the Brown Scapular. I’m married. But my wife is not able to have sex. Medical! Oh, I could go 3, 4, 5 times a day! But what are we to do? I do want a chance to go to Heaven! I don’t want to go to Hell! So what’s more important? So I Stopped, Masturbating!

 

[Lilsheep88]

thanks. I got what I needed.