Masturbation - Why is it so bad!?

[Kyrby_Caluna]

If I tell you it’s not bad, will it change the fact that it’s bad? No. So why ask a stupid question? The Magisterium already said that it’s bad. The sensible question must be, how can I control myself from doing such bad practice? That’s it.

 

[Teencatholic42]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Teencatholic42
So I have been searching for this answer for a while, and in the Bible, I have been unable to determine why masturbation without lust is so wrong! The Bible stresses that lust is a horrible thing, which I can easily and whole-heartedly agree upon, however it never even mentions the ‘sin’ of masturbation. I find this interesting, as every other sexual sin was covered in some way or another. Now going back to masturbation without lust, please do not tell me it is not possible to masturbate without lust, as being a 14 year old guy, I know it’s very easy to get urges after a while just because of the raging hormones! I’ve never looked at porn, nor have I ever truly wanted to as it disgusts me, but I honestly cannot understand why masturbation is so wrong. I did find an interesting scripture, however that may be somewhat interpreted as masturbation and or a nocturnal emission," 'When a man has an emission of semen, he must bathe his whole body with water, and he will be unclean till evening. 17 Any clothing or leather that has semen on it must be washed with water, and it will be unclean till evening. 18 When a man lies with a woman and there is an emission of semen, both must bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening. " What I find interesting is that it is not specifically mentioned that the man had a nocturnal emission, while in other verses in the bible (e.g. “If one of your men is unclean because of a nocturnal emission, he is to go outside the camp and stay there.”) it is mentioned by name that that’s what it was. So if we assume this was referring to masturbation, all God says is to clean up, which is exactly what he says for having sex in wedlock or having a period! Can someone please explain to me why masturbation is so wrong without lust? I would really appreciate it as I’ve been struggling to understand this for about 2 years now! Thanks!
You’re only 14. I would as others have suggested pray and understand as best as possible that women are not X objects. Some like to be treated as such but it sounds like you might need some female friends. You have to in time figure these things out for yourself. I don’t know if you have been confirmed or take the sacrament or not but if you do I would hold off on that until you figure things out. Talking to a preist also never hurts.

Bill

Honestly Bill I don’t think needing more female friends is my problem, as I have very many and up until recently had mainly female friends… I don’t think my problem with masturbation is the lust, as I don’t look at porn, and never have. I have fantasized, however I know this is wrong and have stopped… So my problem is with the release of sexual tension that I get with masturbation… I’ve quit it for up to 2 months in the past but I came back to it… I just don’t know…

 

[Teencatholic42]

Re: Masturbation - Why is it so bad!?
This COMMAND of God to “be fruitful and multiply” can be found five more times in the book of Genesis: 9:7, 17:6, 28:24, 35:11, and 48:4. That my friend in ONE MORE than the Most Holy Eucharist is commanded.

***Sexuality is for TWO purposes: BOTH between a married man and his wife. 1. Procreation and what the catechism calls the “Unitive Function.” This means that as a PRIME purpose it is to be fun and enjoyable for married couples as a reward and INCENTIVE to have children.

God Bless,
Pat***

This also brings up another thing I just thought of. When you say that God said that Sexuality is for reproducing and uniting a man and woman, do you think this teaching may have aged? I understand that this is a very firm belief in Catholicism, but when the Bible was written people NEEDED to be fruitful in order for the world to continue on and for humans to continue on. Do you think this may be changed in the future or interpreted differently in years to come? I mean if everyone is ‘fruitful’ then won’t we suffer overpopulation? Isn’t that a sin in itself? Sorry just thought of this and now I want to know why this belief has stayed in place when so much has changed… when now being fruitful and plentiful may actually be a BAD thing

 

[NotWorthy]

This also brings up another thing I just thought of. When you say that God said that Sexuality is for reproducing and uniting a man and woman, do you think this teaching may have aged? I understand that this is a very firm belief in Catholicism, but when the Bible was written people NEEDED to be fruitful in order for the world to continue on and for humans to continue on. Do you think this may be changed in the future or interpreted differently in years to come? I mean if everyone is ‘fruitful’ then won’t we suffer overpopulation? Isn’t that a sin in itself? Sorry just thought of this and now I want to know why this belief has stayed in place when so much has changed… when now being fruitful and plentiful may actually be a BAD thing

Sorry, but this is what happens when mankind tries to do the thinking for God.

Overpopulation, mankind is far, far away from overpopulation. And what I have seen is that God seems to provide for solutions as they become necessary. For example, as you say, overpopulation… as the world’s population has exploded, so has the means to produce food. I seem to recall that California is fertile enough to provide food for the rest of the world. The only problem with our current food distribution system is logistics.

 

[PJM]

=Crumpy;8002872]The subject of M* is brought up frequently on this website and it SEEMS that well-intentioned people like to point out that M* is “gravely disordered” and equate that with being “gravely immoral,” or a mortal sin, in so many words.

If it WAS always a mortal sin, then why didn’t the CCC say so? Instead it belabors the issue and implies that it “may be” a mortal sin under certain circumstances, which it doesn’t exactly define.

No, I haven’t read the entire CCC, so I don’t know if it handles other sins this way, as being a venial sin or a mortal sin, under various circumstances.

But, I think people would better spend their time worrying about gossiping, back-stabbing, ruining people’s reputation, drunkenness, selling illegal drugs, judging other people, giving bad example to small kids with bad speech or actions, etc. than to obsessing about masturbation – alone.

We ought to be focusing on positives, like encouraging holiness in prayer and actions, and giving support to people with various kinds of moral failings.

The job of all Catholics is to evangelize the world, and every one of our waking actions should be measured against that standard. We are COMMANDED to “love the LORD our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength.” Let’s keep the goal in mind and let’s all work towards that.

My freind you seem to have chosen your “name” prudently

While their is merit to some of you’re view; our task on the Forum is to RESPOND with Charity IN TRUTH to what ever it is that brings them to question this or that.

Their are times to ask “WHY” but usually it is better to just provide th information tat they are seeking.

God Bless and havea NICE DAY

 

[billcu1]

Honestly Bill I don’t think needing more female friends is my problem, as I have very many and up until recently had mainly female friends… I don’t think my problem with masturbation is the lust, as I don’t look at porn, and never have. I have fantasized, however I know this is wrong and have stopped… So my problem is with the release of sexual tension that I get with masturbation… I’ve quit it for up to 2 months in the past but I came back to it… I just don’t know…

I understand that it releases sexual tension. I had a problem until I went on antidepressants with nocturnal emission. I found that masturbation ceased this problem. Now masterbation is almost impossible and the emission problem has pretty much ceased. I went for confession once since becoming catholic and confessed masterbation. Like you I have many questions about it. I think I will talk to a preist myself about it.

Bill

 

[PJM]

=Crumpy;8002872]The subject of M* is brought up frequently on this website and it SEEMS that well-intentioned people like to point out that M* is “gravely disordered” and equate that with being “gravely immoral,” or a mortal sin, in so many words.

If it WAS always a mortal sin, then why didn’t the CCC say so? Instead it belabors the issue and implies that it “may be” a mortal sin under certain circumstances, which it doesn’t exactly define.

No, I haven’t read the entire CCC, so I don’t know if it handles other sins this way, as being a venial sin or a mortal sin, under various circumstances.

But, I think people would better spend their time worrying about gossiping, back-stabbing, ruining people’s reputation, drunkenness, selling illegal drugs, judging other people, giving bad example to small kids with bad speech or actions, etc. than to obsessing about masturbation – alone.

Ahhhh. The CC has, did and does: catechism of the CC.

A partial truth is no better than a lie IMO!

**2352 ***By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.” *

To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.

We ought to be focusing on positives, like encouraging holiness in prayer and actions, and giving support to people with various kinds of moral failings.

The job of all Catholics is to evangelize the world, and every one of our waking actions should be measured against that standard. We are COMMANDED to “love the LORD our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength.” Let’s keep the goal in mind and let’s all work towards that.

God Bless,
Pat

 

[Swiss_Guy]

Hey, I’m 14 too . As for why it’s bad, trust the Church. It may seem like bad advice, but the Church is right, as not everything is in the Bible.

 

[Isaiah45_9]

The simple answer is that with or without what you do or do not recognize as “lust,” it is the turning inward of a gift (sexuality) that is given by God and meant to be used outwardly, within marriage, rather than directed toward the self.

While it is also a physical urge, it is, in the human being, much more than that. We are meant to engage our wills regarding our sexual urges, as opposed to simply surrendering to these biological urges and letting them control us, as if we are lower animals.

Sexual activity is integral to our dignity as full human beings, and thus it is related to our ability to love another person (not just ourselves) and to create life with a partner.

We all have many appetites; some of these are more prominent in certain phases of our life and at certain ages. We have difficulty controlling some of our behavioral impulses as young children, sexual impulses in adolescence (and some would say throughout our lifetimes ), verbal impulses – which some people substitute for physical violence – in adulthood, etc. In order to grow in spirituality we have to take control of our impulses, urges, and appetites – whatever those are and whenever they occur.

I’ve met some holy people in my life, yet never have met anyone of any age who had all of his or her impulses and appetites in complete submission to his or her will. Everybody is ultimately ‘on the journey’ and we all need each other’s prayers and support in that journey.

Wow! This is beautifully exposed! /clap

To add:

While masturbating is natural and at first considered innocent, it can very quickly turn into an obsession and uncontrollable habit. And it isolates you from a relationship.

In RL, for the past 4 years, I have been working in Computer Forensics for a LEA. Most of the crimes I have to investigate and analyze are of the sexual kind and mostly against children.

One same factor is consistent in all cases:

The gradual deterioration of the uncontrollable sexual appetite.
One day you think its “only” this, the next week you add a little of “that” and before you know it, sin has gained a stronghold on your soul. All it needs its a small little door.

Keep reading Elizabeth’s post over and over again and please keep an open communication with your parents and your priest (or pastor).

Another thing, prayer is your sword! Don’t be afraid to use it!

Be Blessed

 

[Isaiah45_9]

I wanted to add:

This book changed my life when I was in my teens:

The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence.

I hope it helps you as well.

 

[Teencatholic42]

Wow! This is beautifully exposed! /clap

To add:

While masturbating is natural and at first considered innocent, it can very quickly turn into an obsession and uncontrollable habit. And it isolates you from a relationship.

In RL, for the past 4 years, I have been working in Computer Forensics for a LEA. Most of the crimes I have to investigate and analyze are of the sexual kind and mostly against children.

One same factor is consistent in all cases:

The gradual deterioration of the uncontrollable sexual appetite.
One day you think its “only” this, the next week you add a little of “that” and before you know it, sin has gained a stronghold on your soul. All it needs its a small little door.

Keep reading Elizabeth’s post over and over again and please keep an open communication with your parents and your priest (or pastor).

Another thing, prayer is your sword! Don’t be afraid to use it!

Be Blessed

I do feel like Elizabeth’s post helped a lot, however as this topic is somewhat embarrassing/awkward (as I’m sure you can understand) I haven’t spoken to my parents about this and the only time I’ve mentioned it to a priest is during confessional in which he didn’t make a big deal out of it but rather addressed the issue of me not attending confessionals in as while. Also I haven’t looked at your book yet but I hope to in the future.

Also Swiss Guy, sorry if this is too personal, but what I’d you do to forget about the sexual tension

Thanks for all the replies, God bless.

 

[Trolol]

Masturbation isn"t bad, it’s an awesome past time of mine that I enjoy doing 23 hours a day!!!

 

[NeoBenedictine]

While looking for an answer to a question unrelated to the subject of this thread, I thought it might be worth a view point that includes an interesting thought about why not just masturbation but other non-procreative sexual acts are offensive to God.

God is “love”, this is his nature, the trinity reflects this as the Father loving and being loved by the Son, then through spiration the generation of the Holy Spirit, the product of love and loving the others in return. The love between man and woman, and the production of children mimic the trinity as well.

The act of sex and birth is also similiar to communion, one person offering the gift of life to another with their body, a joy-and-suffering of love and birth, to bring about that life. I believe this is why we fundamentally are made male and female; the physically reflect the Trinity and therefore the creation of children by passing part of the body (semen) to another to receive and generate life, to become one flesh, reflecting the union of love. We are the vehicles and participators in Creation with our Creator and as such bear a responsibility to act accordingly.

Masturbation and other sex acts which are not open to procreation (and unity) violate this most basic nature reflected in human beings and modeled by God of the Trinity. The rejection of life is like abortion, ultimately an unwillingness to love, which is why it is so offensive to a Creator whose nature and the nature of his creations, is to love and give life as an act of love. This is also why Judeo-Christian morality values life; it is the sign of love between man and his creator.

I realize these discussions will never convert a secularist, or committed libertine, but if you want to understand WHY Catholics think the way they do please understand that it is more than some repressed fellows telling everyone else to do the same with no thought process behind it. That is a self-justifying caricature designed to ignore any other reasoning and then project your own bigotry through.

 

[Teencatholic42]

I do feel like Elizabeth’s post helped a lot, however as this topic is somewhat embarrassing/awkward (as I’m sure you can understand) I haven’t spoken to my parents about this and the only time I’ve mentioned it to a priest is during confessional in which he didn’t make a big deal out of it but rather addressed the issue of me not attending confessionals in as while. Also I haven’t looked at your book yet but I hope to in the future.

Also Swiss Guy, sorry if this is too personal, but what I’d you do to forget about the sexual tension

Thanks for all the replies, God bless.

By “i’d” I meant did, sorry but couldn’t find the edit button anywhere

 

[Lui]

But, I think people would better spend their time worrying about gossiping, back-stabbing, ruining people’s reputation, drunkenness, selling illegal drugs, judging other people, giving bad example to small kids with bad speech or actions, etc. than to obsessing about masturbation – alone.

It’s also odd that many people don’t consider over-eating and bad eating habits as anything bad but tell a 14 year old that masturbation, if not confessed, is the ticket to Hell. A 14 year old who has a bad diet and is over-weight might get serious health issues while masturbating won’t.
My 14 year old nephew only eats junk food and about 3 times the amount of what I eat(I do intense cycling and swimming). He’s overweight and will probably keep this bad eating habit and his weight problems, plus weight related issues(high blood pressure, diabetes) all his life. WHY exactly is this less of a sin than masturbation and why do people not even mention it while there seems to be a masturbation thread every week?

 

[Teencatholic42]

It’s also odd that many people don’t consider over-eating and bad eating habits as anything bad but tell a 14 year old that masturbation, if not confessed, is the ticket to Hell. A 14 year old who has a bad diet and is over-weight might get serious health issues while masturbating won’t.
My 14 year old nephew only eats junk food and about 3 times the amount of what I eat(I do intense cycling and swimming). He’s overweight and will probably keep this bad eating habit and his weight problems, plus weight related issues(high blood pressure, diabetes) all his life. WHY exactly is this less of a sin than masturbation and why do people not even mention it while there seems to be a masturbation thread every week?

I think the main reason I seem stuck on it is because it’s one of the few things in my life that I feel uncertain about how bad of a sin it is (as I don’t have issues with unhealthy eating or other things you mentioned above). I just recently stopped pirating music which I feel was another thing to move past, but this is a little bit harder to stop doing

 

[billcu1]

I do feel like Elizabeth’s post helped a lot, however as this topic is somewhat embarrassing/awkward (as I’m sure you can understand) I haven’t spoken to my parents about this and the only time I’ve mentioned it to a priest is during confessional in which he didn’t make a big deal out of it but rather addressed the issue of me not attending confessionals in as while. Also I haven’t looked at your book yet but I hope to in the future.

Also Swiss Guy, sorry if this is too personal, but what I’d you do to forget about the sexual tension

Thanks for all the replies, God bless.

Interesting that there is a degradation of sexual appetite. Animals do not have the will we are supposed to have. They fight with each other, compete and have sex with each other. They have no institution of marriage. I’m not condeming anyone for masterbation as people go through stress and such and it shows up in many ways. My confessor never said much to me about it either.

 

[rotlex]

It’s also odd that many people don’t consider over-eating and bad eating habits as anything bad but tell a 14 year old that masturbation, if not confessed, is the ticket to Hell. A 14 year old who has a bad diet and is over-weight might get serious health issues while masturbating won’t.
My 14 year old nephew only eats junk food and about 3 times the amount of what I eat(I do intense cycling and swimming). He’s overweight and will probably keep this bad eating habit and his weight problems, plus weight related issues(high blood pressure, diabetes) all his life. WHY exactly is this less of a sin than masturbation and why do people not even mention it while there seems to be a masturbation thread every week?

Thank you for that! Seriously. My wife and I were discussing things like this last night. Funny how the same person telling their 12-18 year old 300lb kid who’s stuffing junk food in his mouth that masturbation is a one way ticket to hell, says nothing to them about their other “issues”. Oh wait, that’s probably because the parent is in the same boat.

 

[Isaiah45_9]

I think the main reason I seem stuck on it is because it’s one of the few things in my life that I feel uncertain about how bad of a sin it is (as I don’t have issues with unhealthy eating or other things you mentioned above). I just recently stopped pirating music which I feel was another thing to move past, but this is a little bit harder to stop doing

The fact that you are reaching out with your struggles is a very good sign. I am very proud that you are being transparent with your struggle and pray the Lord can show you the way to conquer any and all struggles of the flesh.

And while it is not easy, still make the effort to reach to your parents and your priest.

God Bless You!

 

[Duc_in_Altum]

Sins of a sexual nature will be the first to plague you, and then others will follow. After all, if you’re committing one mortal sin why not two or three?

Thanks for sharing! I know that from my personal experience too. First masturbation, then trying to justify our sin by saying it’s natural and even advisable and then we’re down the rabbit hole with porn, prumiscuity and then perverted sex. It’s a chain that doesn’t fail.

To the OP,
No sir, masturbation is not a good thing, even when it is “without lust” as you say, which doesn’t make any sense, by the way.

Listen to the advice of older people that have been there done that. And remember what Scripture says: “By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.” (Mt 7:16-20). Masturbation will lead you to a path you will find difficult to come out of and it will make your life miserable. I’m telling you. I’ve been there, done that.

Follow the advice of Post # 2. Elizabeth was right on the spot explaining in a charitable manner the reasons from the Catholic perspective. And if temptation comes, in a subtle way as it will always do, say a Hail Mary and ask our blessed Mother to protect you against temptations of the flesh.

“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7).

God bless!